I am so happy that other writers were interested in adding to the adventures of Captain Sparrow. This story is brought to you Linstock. She has another one on the way too! And if you're wondering how Spock's kitten got her name...I'll be sharing it shortly.

-Hopeful

Title: Captain Sparrow to the Rescue

Author: Linstock

Code: Ensemble

Rating: PG

Type: Humour

Summary: He was not just a fat and adorable, yellow, fellow (albeit furry) officer, he was a hero, who knew? A group of friends toast the dear departed Captain Sparrow.

Captain Sparrow to the rescue.

Lieutenant Smidders listened to the many and varied stories of Captain Sparrow as they were shared by the ever growing group of officers and cadets with an increasing feeling that none of them understood the real Captain. They thought he was an adventurer, fighter, manipulator, feline Don Juan and lunch thief, with far more than nine lives… but there was more to the Captain than that.

Lieutenant Smidders stood, a little shakily, and said solemnly, "The thing none of you seem to realise is that the Captain was in fact a hero. He once saved my life."

This utterance was greeted with hoots, and a few peanuts were tossed, in a good-natured way.

"Sit down, Smiddy, you ass," called Lt. Commander Ryus, "you've been decoding too many top secret signals."

Ryus swirled his finger around his ear to emphasise his point.

Smiddy drew himself up to his considerable height and continued a little blearily.

"You can laugh," which proved true, as by now several at the table were laughing. "But were it not for the noble Captain Sparrow you would now be saying, 'I wonder what ever happened to that bright young cadet Smidders?'"

There were eye rolls all around.

"'Who?' the ignorant would ask. You would reply, 'Smidders, the best of the best, who one day just disappeared and was never heard of again.'"

Hoots and cat calls greeted this speech.

Pike again took command of the situation.

"Lieutenant Smidders," he said solemnly, "it seems you have an important tale to tell. Please tell us about the Captain's noble exploit."

Lieutenant Smidders nodded solemnly and told his tale…

"As a cadet I had the misfortune to share a room with that ass," said Smidders, pointing at Ryus. "Anyway, he had been completely won over by the Captain and insisted on letting him sleep in the dorm room. It was against the rules then just as now. I admit, to my shame, I was not a cat fancier and did not appreciate the Captain's preferences for sleeping on my black uniform trousers, not Ryus' trousers, mine - there is no justice, and no amount of brushing could remove all the orange cat hair."

"Why is that?" Enquired a disgruntled voice loudly from the outer fringes of the group. "Why do cats sit on your good black clothes more than…" The voice died away under Smidders' irritated glare.

"Well….when I was a second year cadet we had a visit from a group of Glanorian dignitaries," Smidders continued.

"I remember them," shouted Commander Smithson, "They were an eyeful! They were the first offworlders I had seen who seems really alien and they were in such a large group, 25 or so as I remember."

"Yep. They were here to inspect the facilities as part of very early attempts to attract Glanorians into Starfleet." said Pike. "There were several prominent teachers and scientists with their family groups."

"They were quite engaging. Good lord, they could move as gracefully and sinuously as cat," Commander Smithson commented with an almost dreamy look in her eye. "I remember being shocked that they were naked."

When guffaws broke out the Smithson's somewhat misleading comment she continued, "Well, they seemed naked to me."

"Glanorians find clothing extremely uncomfortable. It is unnecessary as their natural pelt provides sufficient insulation." Spock interjected as he observed more than one look of confusion among the group of listeners at Smithson's statements. His voice was soft but could be heard clearly as he continued to explain. "Their skin is very sensitive to the movement of their fur; it is one of the ways they sense the environment. To a Glanorian, wearing clothes is like wearing ear muffs would be to you Commander; it dulls an important sense. Furthermore anything that restricts the movement of their tails is abhorrent."

"I remember," said Pike eagerly, "they used those tails as effectively as another hand. I'd read about it but I had never seen anything like it."

Uhura sighed softly, "The Glanorian language is partly vocal, partly sign, and impossible to speak properly if you do not have a tail. It's fascinating."

"You sound like Spock - 'fascinating'." hooted Smithson, earning a raised eyebrow from the man in question.

"Well," said Lieutenant Smidders pointedly, "I was one of the cadets who were tasked with entertaining the younger family group members when the elders were in serious talks. One young lady called Nimimia seemed particularly taken with me. She was a sweet and intelligent lass and her fur was a lovely, slightly mottled, golden yellow. When she asked to see where the cadets lived I did not see any problem with showing her."

Around the table eyes were rolled and several sniggers were heard. Smidders blushed, as only the very fair can, a bright cherry pink colour.

"We slipped away from the group and I showed her around the common rooms and facilities. Then she wanted to see our 'nests', as she called the bedrooms."

There was a general moan of derision.

"I took her to my room."

Cries of "oh oohs" and "you didn't" were heard.

Smidders, very much on his dignity, said, "I was merely following orders to show the visitors around and keep them entertained."

Several snorts were heard.

"Well with one thing led to another,"

"Especially another!" someone said sotto voce.

"We got to talking and she wanted to know if I had fur anywhere other than my head."

Howls greeted this statement.

"She was fascinated by the fact that we did not have tails and that we had fur on our heads but nowhere else. I took off my shirt …"

Groans were heard all around; even Pike has shaking his head in disbelief.

"She loved that I had hair on my chest but not my back," said Smidders patiently.

"She asked to touch it." A hubbub broke out, and a couple of whistles. Smidders, blushing fiercely, shouted, "My chest hair, you fools."

When Pike had settled the crowd down he said, "Get to the point, son".

Smidders nodded.

"Well, she touched my head and I touched hers; she felt like silk velvet," he said dreamily. "She touched my chest hair and I touched her shoulder mane. She stroked my back and I stroked her tail. She seemed to like that. It was just curiosity, no harm in it. Anyway, there was a buzz at the door and it was the Glanorian guards come looking for her. We panicked and she dived under my bed and I ran to the bathroom and stuck my head under the shower and then opened the door drying my hair with a towel and looking innocent."

A general hush had fallen on the table now.

"The guards barged into the room and started to question me and I had just about convinced them that Nimimia was not here and I was freshening up for the reception that night when one of them spotted the end of her ginger tail just showing from under the bed spread."

General groans broke out.

"One of the guards shouted, and I didn't know what he said but it did not sound friendly, and they drew their weapons and I was suddenly terrified. One guard started across the room. The tail had flicked out of sight as soon as the guard yelled. Just as the guard approached the bed, Captain Sparrow strolled out from under the bed, as casually as you please, stretched and yawned and rubbed against the guard's leg. The guards were nonplussed. I picked up the Captain and acted outraged and the flustered guards soon left."

"When they had gone Nimimia emerged from under the bed. She made a huge fuss of the Captain and wanted to take him with her. I had a hard time convincing her it was not a good idea. I eventually smuggled her out of the building the back way."

Smidders pulled himself to his full height and proclaimed, "To this day I believe that I owed my skin to the Captain's timely intervention."

Spock stated, "You may well be correct, Lieutenant. Glanorians are extremely protective of their families, especially their young females. As the Glanorian you describe had a yellow coat without brown barring, she was very young indeed and any perceived interference with her would be dealt with swiftly and decisively."

Nyota's slightly slurred voice asked Spock innocently,"Isn't stoking the tail of a Glanorian considered…you know…aerobic… exortic?"

"Erotic?" suggested Pike helpfully.

"Thash it!" Nyota nodded triumphantly. "It'sh foreplay."

"Indeed," replied Spock drily.

Smidders blanched and sat down very suddenly as it dawned on him just how inappropriate the story he shared really was and that the danger, which had always seemed to be just a good story, had been chillingly and soberingly real.

Pike rose to his feet and raised his glass. "To the noble Captain Sparrow, master of strategy and timing, saviour of supremely naive cadets, an Officer and a Gentleman."

"The Captain" was echoed all around the table and the toast was drunk.