Author Note: ….hmmm…..nothing to add….I loved writing this chapter….

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Chapter 12 – This is Your Future

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Dr. Johnson completed his exam. "Jackie, your eyes are 50% improved and we can probably stop with the steroid drops but I want to continue the dilation drops. Are you having any pain?"

Jackie replied, "Only when you push on my eyeballs. Is that normal?"

Dr. Johnson laughed, "If you don't mind waiting next door, I need speak to Mrs. Forman about some alternate therapy."

Jackie didn't know what he meant but she slid out of the chair and tapped her way to the waiting room. Kitty sat down in a plastic chair and said, "Doctor?"

Dr. Johnson sat on his little rolling stool and looked over his notes. "Mrs. Forman, I'm not seeing the improvement that I would like. In situations like these, where the pupils respond sufficiently I would diagnose that Miss Burkhart is suffering from a condition known as Hysterical Blindness. When one stops to consider what she has been through, there is an understandable reason."

"You're saying this is all in her head?" Kitty asked.

"No. Not entirely. There are just not enough cases like Miss Burkhart's where the orbital globes are exposed to a vapor versus the actual acid. Now both exposures are tremendously hazardous but I don't have a clear cut explanation why she can't differentiate between light and dark to some degree."

Kitty was getting frustrated. "Dr. Johnson, cut all the mumbo jumbo talk. Are Jackie's eyes getting any better or not?"

Dr. Johnson glanced away. "No."

Kitty threw her arms up in the air and stomped to the door and whirled around. "What kind of future does that young lady have? Tell me doctor."

"Mrs. Forman, please sit." Dr. Johnson pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm suggesting that we send the patient to a transitional living program. She is still young enough to qualify. There is an excellent School for the Visually Impaired in Jacksonville Illinois. It's about 35 miles west of Springfield."

Kitty was in shock. Dr. Johnson could NOT be recommending this! "The patient would receive a comprehensive curriculum in vocational skills, Braille, home economics and money management. She would be around her peers and with the right training; she could go on to live a nearly functional life."

Kitty tried not to scream. "You are recommending sending that poor child to a school for the blind? You told her this was possibly temporary! What kind of doctor are you to give up on her so easily! That girl needs to live with people who love her and will help her. Not…not stick her in a classroom hundreds of miles away."

Dr. Johnson sighed. "Speak with your husband. His insurance company is footing the bill."

"Oh, you damn betcha I will. And you have the gall to call yourself a doctor!" Kitty stormed out of the examining room, grabbed Jackie's arm and said, "Let's get you out of here honey. They're all crazy!"

Jackie's eyes were tired after the visit and she begged for a pre-dinner nap. Kitty was fuming the entire ride home and Jackie wasn't ready to ask what Dr. Johnson did to get her so pissed off.

"Okay honey, I'll be up to get you in a bit."

Jackie counted her way to the stairs and climbed those familiar 13 steps. She knew how to find her bed and just collapsed on it. All the poking and prodding on pressing on her eyeballs was exhausting. She fell back on the satin comforter and closed her eyes. It was funny but the last face she remembered seeing before the accident was Eric's and right now, his was the only face she wanted to see with her hands. How had her life come to this?

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Kitty was so mad that her hands were still shaking as she broke the spaghetti noodles over the boiling water. How dare that doctor! She heard the Toyota pull up at the same time as the Mustang. Good, she would talk to both men and see what they had to say.

Red knew something was wrong the minute he opened the patio doors. Kitty was slamming pots and banging cupboard doors and Red hoped it wasn't him that made her so angry! He set his coat over the chair by the bar and went to give Kitty a hug. Those usually worked!

Instead of ranting and raving, she broke into tears. "Oh Red, that doctor was so awful! I'm not taking her back!" Eric followed his dad into the kitchen to see his mom crying on his dad's shoulder.

"What happened?" he asked. Kitty sniffed and pointed to the kitchen table. After both men had sat down, she brought over two cans of beer and a Bloody Mary. "I took Jackie for her appointment."

Red looked at Kitty for what was really bothering her. Kitty explained what Dr. Johnson told her about Jackie's vision not really improving and the bit about it possibly being Hysterical Blindness and mentally brought on. When she got to the part about shipping Jackie south to Illinois, Red slammed his hand on the table. "We are not sending that girl out in the world like yesterday's trash!

Eric felt ill. His parents were talking about a school for the blind – putting Jackie in an institution environment? His friend saw better than most sighted people! There was no way Jackie Burkhart would allow herself to be institutionalized! Eric looked at his dad.

Kitty continued. "And that nasty old doctor said to talk to you because your insurance company is footing the bill."

Red sighed. "I knew the hospital bills which eventually come up. The insurance on the garage is paying for Jackie's recovery and medications. The attorney's have a firm lawsuit pending over the parent company of that battery manufacturer. I don't know how we could do this on our own. I can't send the girl away; I need her to testify in court next month."

Eric asked, "Has anybody asked Jackie what she wants? I know she thinks she's a burden on us and now you say a doctor wants to send her away? Can't we get her a better doctor? Someone who has more experience?"

Red smiled. "I think that's a damn good idea. No one is sending our Jackie out of the state or anywhere else unless she wants it."

Kitty added, "I know some nurse practitioners that are studying techniques for the disabled and I really hate calling Jackie disabled, but I think we can help her right here in Point Place."

Red added, "If she needs it, we can arrange for Braille classes but Jackie's a fighter. We just have to stay together as a family and help her best we can."

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Jackie woke up from a nightmare. Her hair and skin was on fire and she was stumbling through the darkness screaming for help but no one could hear her. There were voices telling her no body cared and she could just burn….burn in hell. She woke up sobbing feeling her face to make sure she was okay. Her hair was still there but the dream seemed so real.

"Jackie honey? Are you okay?" Kitty's soft voice interrupted the silence of the bedroom.

Jackie wiped her eyes, "Just a nightmare. Sometimes I have the same one over and over and I'm all alone and…" Kitty sat on the bed and swept the young girl in her arms. "…and you are not alone. You have all the Forman's here to take care of you. Would you like to come down to dinner sweetie?"

"No." She answered in a small voice. "Is it okay if I just eat up here? My eyes are hurting again."

"Do you need your drops?" Nurse Kitty asked. Jackie nodded and lay back on the bed. "I'm so glad we're done with those other drops. They really hurt."

Kitty looked at Jackie's eyes which were swollen from crying and plucked a tissue from the nightstand and wiped her face. "Okay, you can stay up here tonight but tomorrow you're eating at the table with the family got it?"

She nodded. "I'm feeling sorry for myself and I don't want to ruin dinner."

"Oh honey, we would understand. I'll have Eric bring up a tray. You just lie down and rest."

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Jackie smelled the roast beef sandwich before she could tell Eric was carrying the tray. "Hey, heard some chick was up here feeling sorry for herself. You wouldn't know who that is… would you?"

Jackie swung her legs over the side of the bed. "Hey Eric. Thanks for bringing me dinner." Eric set the tray on the end of the mattress. "Do you want to talk?"

Jackie slid down to the floor. "Yeah…no….I don't want to take up your time." Eric sat down next to her. "Let's chat. I don't have anybody in the basement to listen to me complain. You start bitching about something and I'll top it."

Jackie smiled. "I'm not bitching I'm just…moody." Eric wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Guys get moody too. Girls just call us assholes."

Jackie chuckled. "Eric, you are not an asshole. Now maybe Steven is…."

"Maybe… Donna's was always moody…..are we having a conversation now? A little pity party maybe?"

Jackie sighed and laced her fingers in her lap. "Okay….you asked. When I find someone I want to immediately change them to fit me. Why don't I change me to fit them?"

Eric smiled; he knew exactly what she was talking about. He countered with, "I don't want people to change. I want them to stay the same. I'm in a rut."

Jackie smiled, "I sabotage every relationship because I'm so needy." Eric nudged her knee with his. "Oh, you're making this very hard to top. Okay…I'm wishy-washy – why would anyone want to be my friend?"

Jackie rested her head against his shoulder, "I don't think you're wishy-washy and I'm glad I'm your friend."

Eric teased. "Shut up and play the game. I think it's your turn."

"Okay…I'm too quick to judge people and I only end up hurting myself." She would make judging people a low priority in her life from now on! Eric replied, "I trust too many people and get screwed every time."

"That is true." Jackie agreed. "You're just too nice sometimes."

"No sidetracking the game. What's your next bitch?"

"I miss sex." She said simply. The minute she said it she could feel Eric tense up and his breath hitched. She continued, "Not so much the sex as the closeness of being held or holding someone. You know what I mean?"

Eric's voice was a little higher than he liked but he replied, "Oh yeah…the closeness of doing it."

Jackie pushed against his arm. "You dork. Anybody can do it, but I miss the specialness of it. You can stop holding your breath now." She teased.

Eric exhaled. "Damn. Okay, here goes. I miss sex too. I miss the touching and the kissing and the intimacy and well, doing it." He smiled when Jackie laughed. "So are we good yet?" he dared to ask.

Jackie put a hand under his chin and pressed her mouth to his in a soft kiss. "Yeah, we're good. Thank you."

Eric stood up and gave her a hand off the floor. A kiss in exchange for conversation? Eric liked that currency! "Well, you know where I live…anytime you want to talk."

She smiled and he liked seeing that. "Just holler next time you feel sorry for yourself and I'll be right here."

Jackie stepped forward. Eric's body was the most real thing in her dark world. She knew what his face felt like, his strong arms, his solid chest. She put her hand on his ribs, clutching the yarn of his sweater and pulled him to her. She rose on her toes and brushed his lips once, then twice like a butterfly's wing. His arms wrapped around her waist and he kissed her back. She loved the shiver of excitement that ran through her veins and she could feel his heartbeat quicken under her palm.

Eric whispered against her jaw, "I'm not going to pretend I don't find you attractive."

"I'm not going to pretend that I don't find you enormously handsome either." She loved the way his breath felt against the lobe of her ear. Eric wished her scent could be bottled! His lips moved back to her mouth and he kissed her the way he had wanted to since the night they danced to Andy Gibb.

Jackie felt like melted butter. This was the part of sex she missed and Eric was giving it to her! Jackie wrapped her arms around his neck and gently sucked his bottom lip into her mouth. She was rewarded with his attraction pressing against her hip. She smiled against his lips. "Hey, we need to find someplace not so crowded….real soon."

Eric was reluctant to break the kiss…this not-Donna hot kiss! "Damn Jackie…I think I was chasing the wrong girl this whole time."

Jackie laughed and ran her fingers over his face, feeling the laughter under the tips of her fingers, memorizing what it felt like. It was a good memory. "Maybe I was chasing the impossible…when you were right here the entire time."

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A/N: author is not a doctor or representative for the vision impaired – all fiction with some research included.