The next chapter! Yay! Be warned, the breaks won't always be so short. I'm a very slow updater indeed. =.=
Matt soon came to accustom the fact that it was Mello who was in charge.
For some reason, after that embarrassing incident (which both had never mentioned again, to this day), Mello found it only natural to use Matt – he'd become a necessity in Mello's daily schemes.
For one thing, he was taller, with long limbs and a tough frame, despite being so painfully thin. He could reach things Mello could not, such as chocolate that was 'hidden' on the top cupboard shelf in the Wammy's kitchen.
Secondly, Mello soon discovered Matt wasn't SUCH a hopeless case as he was first impressioned with – that fact remains debateable, of course, particularly when it came to speaking up for himself and making decisions... we'll get to that part later. Matt was actually a potential expert hacker and was a master at breaking codes, as Mello knew only too well from their first encounter... he'd gathered the fact that it had been Matt who'd managed to break in without being detected under Watari's command.
Finally, Mello knew Matt's feelings since that day – not how he'd felt when he was still convinced Mello was a girl, the memory made Mello flush and grind his teeth as he tried not to think about it – the mortification of messing up after barely a minute in a place he'd considered his new home.
Mello had assumed Matt was afraid of him – just like everyone else, he thought bitterly – and Matt DID seem the type who'd jump and get frightened easily, after stuttering in his presence, but he also followed Mello like a puppy, prepared to perform any task, supposedly to make up for his behaviour. Mello would snap at him to get lost and once grabbed Matt by the neck of his shirt again as a threat (Matt being so thin had his heels easily lifted off the ground, despite being taller), but Matt persisted and eventually Mello gave up. After all, there could be an advantage to using him.
That was how Matt became Mello's toy.
Matt was being used again, and quite often taunted and abused for his trouble (though Mello never hit him seriously, it was always a playful whack, quite often in the stomach) but for some reason, he didn't mind a bit. He liked Mello a lot, and went out of his way to be obedient. Whenever Mello was in a temper, Matt would get scared, but he held his ground, and tried to calm him down. Whenever Mello was happy, Matt was happy. Whenever Mello asked him to do something, Matt would leap to help – even at the expense of pausing his game.
This pleased Mello. He began to trust Matt, and even went so far as to call him a friend... something unheard of before in Wammy's House, as far as he was concerned. Onlookers couldn't believe it – since Matt's arrival, Mello had changed. It was a weird friendship – Mello ordering Matt around and Matt obliging with a grin on his face, but they both looked like they were having fun.
Mello had never opened up to anyone before. His purpose was simply to scare all the kids (and some of the grown-ups) senseless, and remain locked up in his room or the library, while everyone was aware of his constant (unsuccessful) attempts at beating Near, a weird kid who looked young for his age despite the white mop of hair on his head and dead-looking eyes, in the next test. Since Matt came and Mello had a companion, he felt obliged to share his findings with Matt, laugh and tease and joke with him, and he didn't seem so scary any more. The other kids could approach him without being apprehensive.
Matt noticed, and felt secretly pleased that he'd had an effect on Mello, though he couldn't work out why he felt so happy about it.
Even so, Mello wasn't completely satisfied. He liked Matt, he wasn't afraid to admit Matt was his friend, but after a while he noticed Matt was STILL following him around. Suddenly, he realised Matt was almost like a loyal manservant, who obeyed orders without complaint and never left his side.
He'd noticed Matt was actually pretty popular, particularly with the girls. Matt was charming, could smile easily and was even good-looking now that he was healthy. His hair was a vibrant magenta-red, his skin was clear, he'd even developed a more muscular figure after gaining weight from having a proper meal three times a day and occasionally chocolate that Mello offered to him, though he claimed it was a bit too sweet for his taste. Without studying at all, Matt gained place as the third-smartest kid in the orphanage – after Near and Mello, of course. Everybody felt comfortable approaching him, even when he was with Mello, and that was probably another reason Mello wasn't feared anymore. Matt seemed such a sunny, cheerful person.
You'd never have guessed he had such a dark past.
Yet he still prioritized Mello over everything and everyone. Mello noticed that quickly.
Why? Mello thought to himself miserably. Why does he stay with me, even when he has the potential to lead his own life? He doesn't need my help. He could be fine on his own.
He was sick of it. So he decided to confront Matt one day, alone.
Matt was in the library, playing his game absent-mindedly by the window, bright summery sunlight pouring in. He glanced out at the grounds, where children were playing games of football, and little girls were skipping or picking flowers. His mind travelled back vaguely to a couple of days ago...
He'd been walking by himself down the main corridor, with the intention of finding Mello in his mind. They'd agreed to meet up here and hatch their plan to steal chocolate from the kitchens again. It seemed childish, now that they were almost fourteen, but Mello insisted. It was a tradition, and Matt wasn't about to complain, not as long as Mello was happy and having fun, and he was enjoying himself with him. Matt smiled... he couldn't wait to see Mello.
Oh. He's not here yet? he wondered, straying over to the spot they'd decided on. He was about to sit down and take his game out to play on while he waited, when he noticed the door on the end of the corridor was slightly ajar.
Matt frowned... that door was the kind that automatically shut as soon as it was let go of. So it had to be either propped up... or someone was hiding behind it. Aha, he thought mischievously. So, Mello had planned on giving him a little scare, had he? Well, they'd see about that.
Silent as a snake stalking its prey, Matt tiptoed towards the door. He stopped, one metre away, and strained his ears. That's when he heard it – soft breathing, coming from behind the wood that separated them. A smile crept across Matt's face. Now or never.
'GOTCHA!' he yelled, yanking the door open and pouncing on the body stood there.
There was a piercing, surprisingly feminine shriek that emitted from beneath him, sounding uncharacteristically shocked.
Matt was momentarily confused – surely Mello would have hit him by now? He looked down, and he leapt back in shock himself.
It wasn't Mello.
It was a dark-haired girl his own age, curly ringlets hanging either side of her pointed face. She was very pretty, Matt thought. She had large brown eyes and pale pink lips in the shape of a perfect cupid's bow, and soft, pearly-coloured skin. In addition, she was very small and slight, and didn't look like she's weigh much more than a bag of feathers.
Matt recognised her from a couple of his classes... he stretched his mind and guessed that she went by the name of Laurel, if he remembered correctly. She was good at English and History in particular... two subjects that didn't really hold Matt's interest, though he knew Mello liked them. When Mello wasn't studying, he was reading adult literature as a way of getting ahead – anything to beat Near, he supposed.
'I – I'm so sorry,' Matt apologised, taking Laurel's hand and pulling her upright. He'd completely flattened the poor girl, after all. To his surprise, she blushed, smiled and said in a sugary voice, 'I'm OK. Don't worry about it' as she smoothed out her clothes. A blue dress... kind of the same shade as Mello's eyes, Matt thought. 'Why did you yell like that?' the girl asked him shyly.
'Oh...' Matt said hesitantly, distracted from his line of thought, which was whether Mello would look good in that dress. The guy was pretty girly-looking himself; he could probably rival a girl's figure and win. 'I guess... I thought Mello was here, playing a trick on me. I'd better go, I was planning on meeting him – '
'Wait!' Laurel said quickly, and reddened when Matt turned to look at her with a questioning face. Well, she guessed it was questioning – since Matt had started wearing those goggles, which were actually rather cool she thought, it was hard to tell his expression at all. 'I – I mean, before you go, I hope you don't mind talking to me a bit... I mean, if you don't mind...'
Matt stared. 'Um, no... Not at all... d'you want to stay while I wait for Mello? We can wait in the corridor out here...'
He stood up and walked back through the doorway. He hadn't taken two steps before he felt a hand on his arm, almost pulling at him. Confused, Matt turned to look down at Laurel, who was staring at the floor, yet kept a firm hold on his wrist. She was rather pink in the face, and kept her gaze low.
'I...' she whispered, loosening her grip a little. Matt was silent, quietly thankful her grip wasn't as painful as Mello's. Mello was smaller, and actually slimmer than him (despite eating all that chocolate... how did that guy manage it?) but he was very strong, even that day nearly two years ago when Matt had first came to the orphanage. Remembering looking straight into those sharp blue eyes and the feeling of Mello's body pressed up against his own, he felt himself getting hot all over. His breathing became a little unsteady, and he desperately tried to compose himself and remember where he was.
'I... Matt, I mean... I...' Laurel stammered, her gaze still aimed at the floor. If she hadn't been such a cute, timid little thing, Matt would almost certainly have been annoyed. Mello always said what he thought, without any condolence or holding himself back, no matter who it was. Matt had always admired that aspect of him, having never been able to speak his own mind.
'Matt, would you... um...'
Get on with it, Matt thought irritably, almost callously. He was surprised at himself – it was probably Mello's influence. Or maybe he was getting agitated because Mello wasn't around to steady him. 'What is it?' he said, in a softer tone to how he felt.
There was a silence, nothing making a sound except for heavy, uneven breathing, none of them sure who it was coming from.
It all came out in one big rush as Laurel went bright red, squeezed his wrist and blurted in a high-pitched voice: 'Would you go out with me? Please?'
The sound echoed up and down the corridor, bouncing off the walls, back into Matt's paralysed brain. His senses went completely numb, and his mind went blank with unpleasant shock.
...What? was all he could utter, inside his own mind.
He was vaguely aware of his mouth hanging open, in a gormless gesture, as he stared at Laurel. She was slowly lifting her head to look at him, hope in her brown eyes as she searched for Matt's own green ones. Matt watched her shy smile fading as she tried and failed to read his expression (or lack, thereof).
He didn't do anything to comfort her, or reassure her, but what was he supposed to do? He'd always thought of himself as antisocial. While it was true people approached him, and he smiled at people and laughed with them, he was only cheerful because Mello was there. He was a secretive sort of guy who preferred to be alone and not let anyone know his feelings, which is why he started wearing goggles. He sought no-one's presence; he was perfectly comfortable on his own...
No, that wasn't true. He quite often, more than quite often, sought the company of one person in particular.
Matt wondered how Mello would feel about this.
'I...' he muttered eventually, unsure what to say or even how to begin. Laurel may not have been able to see his eyes, but she could sense the uncertainty in his voice. Abruptly, she let go of Matt's wrist and resumed looking at the floor.
'I'm sorry,' she whispered, chuckling nervously. She attempted to smile, though it looked rather forced, and her voice was wobbling a bit. 'I guess... that was a bit impolite of me. I didn't take your feelings into consideration – '
'No, wait – ' Matt interrupted, then instantly cursed himself for speaking because he still wasn't sure how to respond. But it had to be done.
'Look,' he said, awkwardly. 'Why did you even ask me that in the first place?'
Laurel looked up at him, almost incredulous, but she looked more sad, if anything. 'Because I like you, Matt...'
'But... why? What's so special about me?' Matt persisted, feeling worse and worse every second. God, now he was the one who was stalling. He was just making up excuses not to talk, and give him time to think up a half-decent answer.
Mello would be ashamed, Matt thought vaguely.
'You... you're so...' Laurel started, going even pinker than before if that was possible. 'Everyone thinks you're so cool. You have such an easygoing personality. You're talented. You're good-looking. You're already much more popular than Mello and Near, the top kids, put together. You seem so...'
Matt's mind switched off, just for a second, at the mention of Mello. What was wrong with Mello? And not only that... these sort of aspects she described him with...that wasn't him. She didn't even know him. She didn't have a clue who he was, what he had done... he was a nobody. Nothing in comparison to Mello, certainly.
With a flash of guilt, Matt recalled that Laurel liked English and History, two subjects Mello was also fond of. Laurel's favourite colour happened to be the exact shade of Mello's eyes, judging by her style of dress. She seemed quiet and an easy thinker, much like Mello when he was calm and subdued. He could think for hours on end, without moving or talking, completely comfortable. This girl looked like she enjoyed reading, something Mello never grew tired of.
And yet... she'd dismissed Mello so easily.
'About Mello – ' Matt said suddenly, cutting Laurel off mid-sentence, ' – what do you think of him?'
'Oh... Mello? Well... he's kind of weird, don't you think? I'm sorry, I know he's your friend, but – '
'What's wrong with him?' Matt pursued brusquely, instantly regretting the venom in his voice. She hadn't deserved that.
But he was getting more and more pissed off every second. He could take shit from anyone, he'd put up with those... people... for twelve years of his miserable life, until the day it all went away, as proof. But if anyone said anything against Mello, he wasn't going to stand for it. He wasn't just his friend, he was everything to him, Matt realised. Even now, it hit him that for the entire time he'd been involved with Laurel, he'd only had a one-track mind.
Back in the library, two days on, Matt sighed.
Since that situation, Laurel hadn't spoken to him. He didn't think it was because she had a grudge against him for the way he acted (though he wouldn't have blamed her), but because every time her eyes would meet his – or rather, the surface of his goggles – she would turn bright red and look away, sometimes making excuses to leave the room.
It was kind of obvious that Matt had rejected her, even though he hadn't told her as such. No, the reason was that they had been interrupted, and by the worst possible candidate imaginable... Mello himself.
At that moment, Laurel had whispered agonisingly, 'You really don't like me, do you...' and Matt replied: 'No... there's nothing wrong with you. It's just... I can't go out with you. There's already someone in my life who is everything to me.'
It was the first time he'd ever admitted it to anyone, as well as himself. Laurel had walked away, tears in her eyes, and Matt watched her go with remorse.
He tried to convince himself it wasn't his fault... he couldn't do anything for her. And that was when Mello suddenly walked out from the corner of the corridor, greeting him in his usual manner of giving him a slap on the shoulder and a grin.
Only the grin didn't quite reach his eyes this time.
Matt dreaded to think how much Mello had heard.
Sighing, Matt glanced out the library window again. It really was a beautiful day... he considered this with an air of bitterness that he himself couldn't enjoy it. He didn't really like going outside.
You'd have thought, after being cooped up for so long in a dank, dark room with no-one for company except maybe a few spiders and God knows what else crawling around, that he'd gulp down the fresh air and the sunlight like oxygen.
But he'd grown accustomed to sitting inside, hunched up cosily beside Mello on his bed in Mello's private room, as they either chatted, traded chocolate, or just sat together companionably as Mello studied or read and Matt played games. He liked the feeling of safety and security, and the warmth of Mello's body heat so close to him –
Matt's wandering thoughts were cut short when he heard light, quick footsteps approaching him. The library was empty at the moment, except for him. So who could it be?
It was Mello.
Dun dun dun! A cliffhanger... sort of? xD I hope you liked it. I think it's OK.
Next chapter... a bit of violence. O_o