Outside her door, Logan stood for a moment in silence. It was late but there was light streaming from underneath the door and he could hear her footsteps ever so softly padding against the carpet. He tried to go over in his head how he would initiate this conversation but his heart skipped suddenly when he heard the creak of her bedsprings. He knew if he waited any longer tonight to talk with her, the next opportunity wouldn't be until tomorrow night, and that would just be another day for her to waste away. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door lightly before turning the knob and poking his head through the crack.
She was ready and alert, cross-legged on top of the covers and still fully dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. "What do you want?" Her voice was laced with hostility and Logan was already regretting this decision. "I just wanna talk with you. 'Zat alright?"
"NO!" Her face twisted with rage. "Why can't you leave me alone?!"
Startled by her outburst and fearing she would wake the other girls in the dorm, he made the unbelievably foolish mistake of stepping completely into the room and closing the door softly behind him. "You don't need to start a scene, Kitty, I-"
He moved towards her and in an instant she had leaped from the bed to her feet and was in a fleeing stance. The trouble was that he was between her and the door, and he had not yet realized the extent of the situation. He raised his hand to signal peaceful intentions but her mind was on a fear induced overdrive and she grabbed the object nearest to her - a chair - and threw it in his direction.
He caught it with ease and set it down neatly by the dresser to his left. In good humor, he flashed her a half smile. "Settle down kid, you know I wouldn't try to hurt you."
Wrong move. His smile paralyzed her with fear, and his heart nearly broke upon seeing the terror written across her face. Now he understood.
"Look..." he carefully lowered his arms to his sides and took a step backwards. Tentatively and ever so slowly, he sunk down to a sitting position on the crimped carpet. Still, she flinched as he gestured towards the door. "Go ahead. Run. I'm not gonna chase you." She stood frozen for a moment more like a deer caught in headlights, her eyes flitting from his open palm to the door to his palm again. Then in an instant she had made a quick and sudden dash, disappearing straight through the mahagony paneling.
He stared at the loose, frayed fibers poking out from the carpet underneath his boots. A conflict was taking place inside his head, a battle between him and himself. He could see now all the stupid mistakes he had made. He shouldn't have shut the door, he shouldn't have even invited himself in. He shouldn't have found humor in her outburst - he was a threat without trying. And for God's sake, he shouldn't have come in dressed like a fucking biker. He could have at least taken off his boots and jacket.
He leaned foward and buried his face into his hands, asking the empty room what he wished he could ask her. "What can I do?"
- - -
Kitty sat down with her back pressed against the wall. Her heart was beating rapidly and she waited as it slowly dropped back down to normal. How could he just barge in like that? How could he intrude, why couldn't she get one moment of peace? Why did he care? What was his intention? What was he going to gain from all of this? The questions were endless and she was so tired...the words began to jumble in her mind and before she knew what she was doing, she was laying on the red carpet and had fallen fast asleep.
- - -
Logan finally lifted his head and looked at the clock. 12:52. Well it was bad enough that Kitty was distraught and lurking somewhere in the mansion tonight- he didn't need someone to find him in her dorm room sitting on the floor. He stood up stiffly. Might as well make sure he knew where she was before he went back to his own room.
It didn't take long. He opened the door and jumped, not expecting for there to be a person lying on the floor in the hall. He studied her for a moment; taking in the way her hipbones protruded from under her jeans, how her expression seemed strained even now when she was sleeping, the faint sound of her shallow breathing. God, she looked so beautiful and yet so frail. He wished she could see just how much she had to offer. He felt a pang of guilt as he realized he had been staring at her for a little longer than necessary. Specifically, he'd been eyeing her small, firm breasts and how right now she was cold and her nipples were hard, poking up underneath the thin fabric of her shirt. He shook his head.
She was cold...so, so make her warm. He wanted to pick her up, to lift her in his arms to her bed, to hold her close against his torso and feel her figure with his own fingers but he didn't want to risk waking her and making her panic again. Instead, he grabbed a quilt from where it was folded at the edge of her bed. Walking back into the hallway, he draped it gently across her body and then walked back across the mansion to his own room, where he would lay awake for a long time, thinking.
- - - - - -
"Hey Kitty!" Someone was shaking her gently. "Wake up!"
She groaned and opened her eyes. Jean was kneeling beside her...beside her? Pushing herself up with her hands, Kitty was suddenly extremely disoriented. Where was her bed? Why was she on the floor? Fear surged through her for a split second.
Then she remembered. Logan. Last night. She had been so stupid. "Why are you out here, Kitty? Is anything wrong?" She shook her head and hoped Jean wasn't going to pry into her mind. "No, I...I guess I was sleepwalking last night. I'm okay. What time is it?"
It was too early for her to evade breakfast this morning. She was still too sleepy to think up an excuse and Jean quickly ushered her towards the kitchen. "If we're lucky, we'll be the first ones in there and we can snag the good pieces of bacon!" She smiled and tugged Kitty along behind her.
Light was pouring into the kitchen and she shielded her eyes when the two of them first walked in. "Hey, look who's here this morning!" Storm's voice rang out from near the stove and it was full of pleasant surprise. "You're practically a stranger in this room. Have a seat here at the counter, breakfast is just about ready." Kitty's eyes were beginning to adjust to the light and when she saw who else was sitting at the counter, her heart skipped a beat. Logan. The worst part was, she couldn't tell if the feeling in her chest was good or bad. Right now, all she could identify was a growing sense of awkwardness.
- - -
Logan couldn't help but notice that Kitty sat down at the stool furthest away from him. He forced himself to look back at the screen of the television. "...and in other news, a wildfire east of Cross River threatens the Lewis Boro Town Park. Firefighters have been working diligently since yesterday to keep the blaze at bay..." It just wasn't holding his attention. He glanced at Kitty and realized she had looked up at him at nearly the same exact time. A faint pink tinge spread across her cheeks.
"Another cup of coffee, Logan?" Thank god for Ororo. "Yeah...you know how I like it." She poured the steaming drink into his mug. "Let's see, black, right? Unless you feel up to pouring the cream and sugar yourself." He winked at her and stood up from his seat to get the sugar from the pantry. "Don't worry, I've got it. Just get some food on those plates, I can hear the kids coming down that hallway and they sound hungry." He wasn't lying, either. As soon as the last word left his lips, a crowd sleepy students began filing into the kitchen, looking expectantly up at Storm and himself. Logan threw his hand up and shrugged. "Hey, don't look at me. I didn't wear the apron this morning." He leaned up against the wall and let Bobby take his seat at the counter. He didn't bother to mention that there was a little bit of syrup on the seat from the pancakes he'd eaten earlier that morning. The kid probably needed an extra opportunity to wipe his ass anyway.
He watched as Kitty nibbled at her toast and pushed the scrambled eggs around on her plate. Kurt asked if she was going to eat her bacon, and she looked more than happy to let him take it. She looked even happier when Jean stood up and announced that she would be leaving shortly for school, so carpoolers would have to be ready to go. When Kitty had left the room with the other girls, Logan could see that she had not actually eaten more than a couple bites of her toast and had done nothing with her eggs except scramble them even more with her fork. But no one else seemed to notice anything odd and he felt it would be unfair to point it out, not to mention a little strange. The others might wonder why he was paying such close attention to Kitty's behavior.
The day seemed to take forever from the time the kids left to the time they got back from school. He waited for Kitty in the kitchen, thinking he might catch her as she came inside and he could talk to her then. But when she finally came through the door, he forgot what he had planned to say and they simply exchanged a glance before he tore his eyes away from hers and looked down at the floor. She did the same, leaving the room silently. He didn't see her for the rest of the evening, and for once, even Logan skipped dinner.