AN: So, Christmas eve. I actualy need to rush this thing, but I reckon it will be done before New Year.

As always, Ho ho ho.

As Jin was nearing his dad's manshion, he was having second thoughts about helping the Agents. Having your reputation trashed by your dad on national TV was one thing, and busting his ass on national TV was another.

"It's either this or 8x8 for the next 10 years." said Jin to himself as he entered Kazzy's manshion through the back door.

"Remember, this is for the country." said Agent Smith through his earpiece.

"Yeah, yeah." Smith was getting annoying with the patriotic stuff. Jin sneaked into the kitchen, when he saw Craig Marduk.

"Halt, tresspasser! You shall not pass through the mighty Craig Marduk!" he spoke his name in a god-like manner.

"Chill, dude. I just wanna see my dad." said Jin, obviosly not intimidated. Craig Marduk pushed it, however.

"What is your buisness here, mortal?" asked Marduk.

"Exactly what I was gonna ask." replied Jin.

"I am here as the bodyguard of Kazzy Carol. He's paying me big money to guard him and his manshion." Marduk was getting irritable.

Jin's earpiece came to life. "Deal with Marduk discretely." ordered Agent Smith. "Gotcha." Jin said back.

"Who are you talking to, wimpy one?" asked Marduk, again.

"To a little mouse in the corner, oh steroid and growth hormone pumped one." Marduk turned to find the mouse but as he had his back to Jin, the latter gave him a wedgie. Marduk roared in pain and punched himself in the face, breaking it in the process.

"That was discreet?" asked Agent Smith over the earpiece.

"Hey, I figured a swirlie would get the toilet dirty." laughed Jin.

"Stop your tongue-in-cheek and proceed with the mission." ordered Agent Smith.

"Okay. Okay. Sicko..." mumbled Jin as he proceeded to the studio.

Meanwhile, Jun was having fun in a local cafe with the "old crowd" from Tekken 2. There were Kunimitsu and Michelle. At the moment, they were discussing their love lifes.

"That prick Yoshimitsu, he was seeing Anna ever since Tekken 4!" spoke Kunimitsu angrily. "I can't beleive I didn't see that coming."

"It's like that with men." complained Michelle. "They use you and then throw you like an old sock."

"Speaking of socks, how are you doing with Bruce?" asked Jun.

"I caught him cheating on me!" Michelle was close to tears now. "And the worst part, snif, he was cheating on me with Raven!" and she burst into tears. Jun and Kunimitsu hugged her and comforted her.

"Men are pigs!" now Jun was shouting. "That Kazuya hasn't showed his face in years, Jin can barely remember him! He got me pregnant and left! I know I shouldn't have gone to that juice bar with him!"

"Yeah, and Yoshimitsu never came home from work! He always stayed late! And then I discovered that he was going to a casino, spending the money on poker and blackjack!" shouted Kunimitsu.

"And Bruce..." Michelle was chocking on her tears now. "He...he... he was in league with Ganryu. He wanted to set me up with that...that fat fuck!" and she started crying her eyes out.

"Screw them!" shouted Jun. "You know, I wish I could meet a man who is friendly, educated, refined, handsome and intelegent." she wished with a dreamy expretion on her face.

"Jun," started Kunimitsu. "That kind of men already have men of their own." after Jun broke into hysterical tears. "Aw come on. Screw men! Let's watch some TV."

The bar owner turned on the TV and immediately, Kazzy was on screen.

In the studio, Kazzy was welcoming his last guest, Santa Claus and his elf.

"...so please welcome, ol' Saint Nick!" shouted Kazzy and the crowd cheered. As Santa and the elf entered, anyone with half a brain could see that Santa was Ganryu in disguise and Yoshimitsu the elf. Naturaly, the people from the crowd had only a third of a brain alltogether and they didn't see a thing.

"So, Santa. How are things on the North Pole?" asked Kazzy as Ganryu and Yoshimitsu settled on the couch.

"Uhm... Cold." said "Santa".

"Do you get a lot of help from the elves?" asked Kazzy.

"Yup. Hey, what do you want for Christmas?" asked Ganryu. Kazzy blinked and acted like a baby.

"I wanna be with my famiwy." and he made a puppy-dogtail face.

"Were you a good boy?" asked Santa.

"Yes." said Kazzy, expecting Santa to pull out his family from his bag. At that point, Jin burst into the studio.

"Jin!" said Kazzy in delirium of happiness. "You are back! Come to Daddy." Kazzy was offering Jin a big hug.

"You must hug him." ordered Agent Smith over the earpiece. Jin hugged his dad after a moment of hesitation and was forced to endure a bone-crushing embrace and a series of extremely wet kisses on his forehead. After Kazzy released him, he stood back, for the first time 100 sure that his dad was a madman.

"Look at you, how big you've grown. And yer as handsome as yer old man." said Kazzy with a you-know-guy-thing face. "I bet all the ladies are killing each other to get ya." At that point a huge mob of silly girls with "I Luv Jin" t-shirts ran over Jin and they all killed each other.

"Come on, let's get some music going!" shouted Kazzy as Lordi started playing Rock this Party(Everybody Dance Now). After that, everybody danced until the song ended. After the song, Jin and Kazzy sat their asses down on the couch.

"Everybody, this is my boy, Jin!" announced Kazzy to a cheering crowd.

"Mr. Kazama." said Agent Smith over the earpiece. "You need to drop a communication beacon before we attack the manshion. It can be found in your pocket, concealed as a bobby-pin."

"Say hi to Jin, folks" said Kazzy as the crowd said "Hi, Jin."

"So, Jin. Have you brought your mom along " asked Kazzy.

"Uhm... Nope. She's with the old crowd from Tekken 2."

"We'll I'm sure we'll have a very Christmasy time, right Jin?"

"Yeah." said Jin and dropped te communications beacon on the floor while Kazzy was busy talking to Ganryu and Yoshimitsu.

Meanwhile, in the bar, Jun, Michelle and Kunimitsu were extremely angry.

"How dare that conehead lie to Jin! He doesn't even care about Jin! He only cares about his godforsaken Christmas!" shouted Jun

"And that fat asshole, he has the nerve to show up on TV?" shoted Michelle

"That canned piece of shit Yoshimitsu was supposed to be with the kids! He is on TV? I'll fucking murderize him!!!" they were all hysterical as they exited the bar.

"Ma'am. You forgot to pay your bills." said the bar owner, but Kunimitsu pulled out her daggers and murderized him.

"Men are pigs, swines, horses!" shouted Jun "I hereby propose that we form a society whose eternal mission will be to subside those testosteron-packed shitheads!"

"I agree!" said Michelle.

"Me too!" said Kunimitsu.

"Good, sisters. From now on, we are known as MESS!"

"What's that?" aske Michelle.

"Men-Exterminating Secret Society!" shouted Jun and they all headed towards Kazzy's manshion with I Will Survive playing in the background.

Meanwhile, Heihachi was looking for a vehicle since he got carjacked. He saw a girl on a bike.

"Hey, girl! I'll give you 100 bucks for that bike!"

"Fuck off, pops!" said the girl.

"Uhm...500 bucks."

"In your dreams!"

"Come on. 10000 bucks."

"Okay... Deal." said the girl as she dismounted her bike and took the moneys. Heihachi got on the pink bike and rode off into the night.

Meanwhile, Asuka and the gang were stuck in traffic.

"Awe we thewe yet?" asked Xiao.

"Oy, ya crubs. A bloke can't live with all them automobiles honking." said Steve as he got out and smashed every car. Now the jam was cleared.

"You couldn't have done that earlier?" asked Asuka.

"I have gots me a girl to snog, ya dike." said Steve, feeling offended as he got back in the car. Asuka rolled her eyes and drove towards Kazzy's manshion.

AN: Ho ho ho.

Merry Christmas.

Ah... I remember the days when Christmas wasn't all about shopping.