Lie Tonight – Chapter 6
By MyNameIsCAL
It's been weeks since we talked out loud.
Anything I hear that I think about,
Every time I feel something up or down,
It'll be about you
I haven't seen Max for three weeks now. The final week before the wedding had finally hit us and those days went by quickly, but also slowly. Sam's brother had come back safely from Iraq. They kept asking me to go out to dinner with them, but I declined. I would see them all at the wedding. That would be enough.
It's only losing this thing that I could do
I'll just take a cruise off a coast off into space,
Find a place to stay,
A little change of scenery
Still all this change remains the same
And I'll be leaving after the wedding. Maybe to Canada, or Europe. I hadn't really decided actually. Gazzy said he was going to take me somewhere and maybe I'd go with him for a while before going off on my own. Thinking about leaving had finally brought me to the point where I was starting to accept losing Max.
But we can lie tonight
Forget I'm not yours and you're not mine
And we'll fall asleep here
You know how we used to
But there are still so many nights that I wish I could just hold Max in my arms. Sometimes those nights I find that I end up crying myself to sleep. I should be over her, but I'm not, no matter what I kept telling myself.
There's a feeling that I can't let out
The one where my head is spun around
And all my insides are falling out
Dangerously romantic
And the dreams I have. They're about running off with Max, leaving Sam behind, and finding our own place. We were perfect for each other and still were, but of course, Max doesn't see that. She's caught up in Sam and you know, I don't really think she actually loves him.
Cuz if time is all a bruised up illusion,
That's what I'm confused with
That's not what I want,
Losing for the truth, waste away the future
I know I belong where we both are
It's so hard, to watch time go by. I thought now that we had seen Itex get defeated, we wouldn't have to worry about things anymore, we wouldn't have to suffer. But why did I still feel like I was suffering? I mean, everything happened for a reason, right? Maybe Sam and Max are meant to be, I just don't see it.
But we can lie tonight
Forget I'm not yours and you're not mine
And we'll fall asleep here
You know how we used to
We can lie tonight,
Let the morning fill the sky
And still be sleeping
You know how we used to
I played back how life used to be with Max, how far in love we had fallen. In bed, sometimes I could still feel Max next to me, sleeping, her breath softly filling the room. And then I would think about that night, weeks ago, our last night we would ever spend together, and she didn't even want to remember it. But still, I'd replay it over and over in my head, wondering why we couldn't be like that.
So deep in love with you
I pulled out the old ring, polished it, and locked it back in the drawer. Part of me wanted to get rid of it, the other part of me knew I would keep it for the rest of my life until someday I could muster the strength to tell Max all these things I felt. Lying, all these years, lying to myself, to Max, that I was over her.
But we can lie tonight
Forget I'm not yours and you're not mine
And we'll fall asleep here
You know how we used to
Hell, tonight was the last night before the wedding. It was Sam's bachelor party. Maybe I would call up Max and talk to her. Then again, I still had to write a decent speech. Something memorable and something that sounded sincere, but nothing that sounded like her marriage was my death sentence.
We can lie tonight,
Let the morning fill the sky
And still be sleeping
You know how we used to
There was a knock on the door. It was probably the landlord asking for my money. I would just have to tell him I wouldn't be staying around much longer. Just a few more days after the wedding to pack my things away.
But I opened the door and it was Max. She threw her arms around me, gripping onto me like if she let go, the world might fall apart.
"What's wrong?" I asked, wrapping my arms around her.
"I don't know what to do," she sobbed into my chest. "Fang, I'm pregnant…"
"Lie Tonight" by Teddy Geiger was the inspiration of this story. While I have probably deviated A LOT from the true meaning of this song, I just thought it would be nice to stick the entire song in here for one chapter. "Lie Tonight" is available for free on his website. If you're interested, I have the link to his website. Just scroll down to the bottom of the home page when you get there and click on "browse my archive". Then go click "download – Lie Tonight". If you're just interested in listening, click audio and press play at the bottom most player.
Oh, and the lyrics aren't officially out there on the web, so I did a lot of listening to the song to figure them out, so if they happen to be wrong, my apologies!
And I'll leave you with that. Any ideas? Let me know. Thanks for reading!