Bella

I was literally crawling into bed when she called. I had turned off the ringer; it was the sound of the hard plastic phone vibrating off of my bedside table had alerted me to the call. When I read her name on the display, my heart jumped. It had been 5 weeks and 3 days since we last talked. God, I was such an asshole for being this obsessed with a friend.

"Bells?"

"Jake! How have you been?"

Her voice was placid, and lovely as ever. I was so glad to hear her voice that I didn't even think about why she was calling…there had to be a reason, right? I couldn't even think that clearly, my mind had automatically shot me back through fifteen years of memories; memories that would certainly color the conversation.

"Bella bear! I'm so glad it's you."

"What's going on with you mister? I haven't heard from you in forever, and you seem kind of…" She sort of trailed off, and I wondered how I had just sounded to her. I tried never to seem sad or angry with her, mostly because she was so inclined to absorb anything I was giving off.

"Nothing really." It wasn't going to fly with Bella, and I knew it.

"Well, I mean, I've just been thinking about some things, you know? Making some changes." In a way it was very true. I was in a mental quandary, lately. Billy had gotten remarried seven months ago, and since Susan had moved into the cabin, we were really cramped for space.

I liked her well enough, but her presence made me feel kind of unnecessary. I had always cooked and cleaned for dad, and now I didn't have to.

Since I had that much less to do at home, I had thrown myself into work at J&J Mechanics in Port Angeles, putting in fifty or sixty hours a week. I had been getting tons of work done, and the shop was making a lot more money for my efforts, but my boss was really getting on my nerves over some petty shit.

At any rate, my personal annoyances were minor, nothing I'd want to bore Bella with.

Except that she asked, and I could never deny her anything.

I told her about work; about Billy and Susan, about this girl Andrea that I had dated for a whopping seven months. The relationship had never progressed because Andrea didn't measure up to the standard that all women must be held against. She was pretty, funny, and great in bed, but she wasn't my Bells. That's what it always boiled down to with me; although it's not something I'd tell Ms. Swann outright. When Bella asked me why I had broken things off, I just made up some excuse about her not having time for 'us.'

She asked me about the pack, too. It was truly the last thing I wanted to talk about. The whole thing had me down. I wanted to stop phasing, but Sam had said it wasn't time. I was so goddamn tired of the Res, and I was tired of having 9 other people in my head.

Leah was the worst. I swear to god that girl existed to fuck with me. She spent all her time berating me for thinking about Bella, or thinking about some inane bullshit like what she planned to wear out on Friday night, or how her ass looked in a particular pair of jeans.

I was lost in this line of thought when Bella said something that literally shocked the hell out of me.

"Jake, why don't you come here for a while?"

What?

"If you don't like Boston, you could always go back."

I could not fucking believe it.

My Bella wanted me near her. She wanted to have me around. My immediate reaction was to say that I'd be on a plane to Boston the next day, but I had to think things over. Where would I live? Did she want me at her place? I hadn't been to Boston.

"Bells, I wouldn't know where to live out there, I mean, I don't know…." I was so excited and nervous at the idea of living under the same roof as Bella Swann, that I couldn't even think straight.

"No, Jake, I mean here, with Jill and I. You can live with us, and find a job whenever. I don't care. I want you to be happy."

"I don't want to be a leech….no pun intended." I laughed.

Oh Jesus. Not cool. She's probably still weird about Cullen.

"Sorry, Bells. Not funny."

I felt like such a jerk. I really hoped she was over all that, but something told me that it still ate at her. If nothing else, the way he had left her, the things he had said had made her feel worthless. That jackass had crushed the self esteem of the world's most perfect woman. My girl.

"It actually was kind of funny, Jake" She said, giggling. She was such a bad liar. It had bothered her, damn it.

And now I had to address the question of going to live with her. Was this a legit offer? She seemed completely serious. I had so many things to think about. First of all, I'd have to ask Sam whether I could leave and stop Phasing. But that was the easy part.

Bella was almost twenty nine years old now, and still beautiful. If anything, she was way hotter than she had been in high school. She dressed herself a little more carefully now, and had filled out in the right places. Lately, she looked more fit and toned than wiry thin, and clearly she had been getting a bit more sun.

There was a time that I had adored my girl's clumsiness; the tripping, the face plants. She had lost so much of her former klutz, and wasn't nearly as shy as she had been. She had really gotten to be more graceful and confident. I was crazy about her, and I couldn't imagine what it would be like living with the woman you love, as friends.

"Bella, you know I'd like to. And I know you wouldn't mind if it took me a while to get settled and, you know, pitch in financially and stuff, but…."

You know what would be worse than living with the woman you love, as friends? Living with her, and watching her go out with stupid men who didn't care about her or know her. Who would try to get in her pants… arrggghhhh…

"I just don't want you to feel awkward…I mean, you're twenty eight, and I'm sure you date, right?"

Please don't answer that…

"…And if you brought someone home… I mean, I'm not going to lie, it would be… hard."

Okay, just say what you're thinking. It's Bella. She won't be angry. Just say it and get it over with.

"Bells, I know I'm not supposed to be feeling all soft about you anymore, and that we're friends, and that I'm a grown man and not a little boy, but it would be hard for me to see you with other people still."

There. Now I'd spoken my piece. I braced myself for her response.

"Jake, I don't ever bring anyone home" she said in an even tone.

There is no freaking way that she doesn't date.

Well maybe that's not what she meant. Maybe she just doesn't let men come to her place. God, now I had to know. Maybe if I restructured the question to elicit a more revealing response….

"You know it would be just as bad if you went out with someone and didn't come home…only then I'd be worried for your safety. There are a lot of kooks out there."

I heard Bella's breath hitch, and there was a long pause on her end of the line. I think I almost crushed my blackberry while I waited for her to respond; the tension that flowed through me causing me to grip the phone just a bit too tightly.

"Jake, I kind of….don't date. I don't go out with men, don't stay over anyone's house, and nobody ever comes here with me either."

Really?

"I have never slept with anyone in this city, or in this state, and a man has never stayed at my house… ever. Okay?"

I was stupefied. What was she saying?

"Huh?"

It was all I could manage. She had been in Massachusetts for almost ten years, and she had never been on a date? She had never...

I had taken Bella's virginity a while after Edward left her. At a certain point in that horrible, ugly healing process, I knew my girl needed physical love to help get her over some hump. She had to get back to normalcy; she had developed a real aversion to all non-vampire affection, and it was weird.

I think I was the perfect solution for her, and lord knows she was perfect to me. Still, I was utterly aware of the distance she was placing between us when we were together.

The month Bella graduated from Boston College, she had come home for a month and a half to spend some time with Charlie. I swear that we must have had sex a hundred times in forty five days. We had always been so close; it made perfect sense that she should still feel comfortable coming to me for the physical intimacy she wasn't getting elsewhere.

She told me back then that there hadn't been anyone else. A part of me was shocked; I had assumed that at some point during her stay at college she would find a man who she'd love the way she had loved Edward, and that that man would be more than happy to take over my role as her lover. It never happened. And while I knew she didn't think she loved me the way I loved her, there was definitely some kind of love there when I had her.

Now she was telling me that nothing had changed since then. I was still… it for her.

Jesus.

Then it occurred to me; this meant that the last time she got laid was last Christmas!

"Oh…My…Godddd bells."

I cracked up; Couldn't help it.

"Are you serious?" I couldn't stop laughing.

Yikes. Maybe Bells did need some company out there on the East Coast.

"As a heart-attack, glad you're so amused."

I just kept laughing, and marveling at the improbability of it all.

"Jacob, don't fuck with me. Do you want to come or not? Really, the door is always open. I don't want you all depressed and lonely in Forks."

"I seriously will give it some thought."

I really would.

"Anyway, I can see why you might want me for company."

It was a low blow, but come on.

"Ha ha. Well, I'm headed to bed. Call me tomorrow?"

"You betcha Bells…."

"Love you Jake."

Love you so so so much…

"Love you" I said, and she had no idea how seriously I still meant it.