Well I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! I did =) I want to tell everyone to feel free on message me anytime with ideas on my stories because I need a few for this one =) so if you have any please.

Okay so I'm reading this really good fan fiction called 'Nara' by RachyDoolde so people try to read it. Oh and if you like me saying the stories I'm read please tell me and I'll keep doing it. =)

So people have been telling me I make them cry (In a good way) I'm just so happy that I can write that good that you can cry over it (In a good way, hahah) I wouldn't want to make you cry because I'm a bad writer hahahaha.

Oh and please go and vote on my polls =) Thanks for taking you time to read my a/n =) Oh and I'm was listing to the New moon (the score) CD while writing =)

Now on to the story! Yeah

Well I'm getting ready to go home to the Cullen's house; Carlisle said I would be watch there so I didn't have to stay here. He also wants me to take a few days off of school so I can rest and take it easy. He called my college and told them what happened, they said they would send what school I have this week so I didn't get behind. It is only my first week.

I still can't believe that Edward said he's always loved me, even after what I did. I'm really not worth loving. I can't see why he would love me; I can see why I do but not why he does.

I guess we're just going to have to grow with each other and see what happens along the way. Love the idea of that.

To be with Edward again is the best idea in the world, but I'm going to have to let him in, to trust whatever happens he will be there for me no matter what happens.

I don't think I can let him go again if something does happen, I did it before and I don't want to do it again. It hurts to bad. I felt like I had my whole heart ripped out of my chest, like I didn't have anything left in me. I felt like I was a hole just standing in the world, alone.

I still feel that way since I truly haven't let the fact that Edward loves me set in. I'm still afraid he hates me; I know I'm being stupid. But what would you feel after three years? Would you feel the same like you did before when you were together, no. You have to build up to that love you had, it takes time to let people in. It will never truly be the same. I've been through too much to think that everything last forever. I don't think it all last forever. My parents didn't, but that was up to God to take them away from me. Everything in this world is not a random act it's all up to God. I know it hurts me to lose them so much but that's just one of Gods plans in my life. I just got to trust that this is to.

I jump at a knock at the door. My gosh I don't have a shirt on.

"Hold on." I say loudly. I quickly run over to my clothes which Alice got me. And put on the blue shirt.

"Come in." I say. I make sure I have everything on. I do. I look up to see Edward smiling at me.

"Hello." He says still grinning.

"Why are you so happy?"

"Because I get to see you and drive you to my house."

"Oh okay." I turn around to get my bags. But Edward takes them for me.

"I got it." He says walking out the door.

"Edward please don't start with that, you know I hate it when people help me." I move after him, the nurse stops me.

"Isabella, you need to get into the wheel chair." I scowl.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, my dear." I know that voice, standing behind the nurse is Carlisle.

"Why." I cry like a baby.

"I'm your doctor and I said so."

"Fine." I murmur. Carlisle laughs as I put my arms around my chest. The nurse wheels me to Edwards grey Volvo. I see Edward putting in my bags.

"Okay Bella so I checked you out, I have all the stuff sent up at home, and I will be right behind you on the way home." Carlisle said.

"Oh you don't have to go home just because of me, I pretty sure I can handle it." He smiles.

"I'm the doctor and I'm talking the week off."

"I hope not just for me."

"Of course not, well not a little of it."

"Carlisle." I glare at him.

"Bella we haven't seen you in a long time, I want to and that's the end of it." As he walks away I hear his saying something about me being stubborn. Edward laughs, I glare at him.

"Love its true." He says simply.

"Whatever." Edward reaches his arms out for me I take them and he helps me up. "Thanks."

"Anything for you love." He says helping me to the car. I get in and Edward lets go of my arms.

"Goodbye Sarah." I say to the nurse.

"Goodbye dear, I'll see you soon." Well she's probably right, I'll have to come in back for something some day. Edward comes over to the driver's side and puts his seat belt on. He put the car in drive and drives down the road. We won't be in the car for long, their house is ten minutes away.

Edward and I don't really talk, we just sit. After awhile of being in the car we turn into dirt road I've been down so many times. I look at all the trees, nothing has changed.

When we got to the house I almost started crying, I missed coming here, I missed all my friends, who are more than friends their family.

I didn't hear Edward get out of the car, but he was now opening my door. I put my arms around his neck, he pulls me out of the car, and brings me to his chest.

"I've missed you Bella." He holds me tightly to his chest.

"You don't know how long I've wanted you to hold me." I whisper.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to hold you." He tells me back. I smile against his chest. I felt something hot hit my shoulder of my shirt. I push Edward away a little so I could look at him. He has tears falling down his face, my heart aches.

"Edward, honey what's wrong?" I ask.

"I thought I was going to lose you again, I can't bear the thought of that, I lost you before and I don't want it to happen again." I look down, I can't believe I've gave him this kind of pain.

"I'm so sorry." I say to him. He brings his finger to my chin lifting it up so I'm looking in his eyes.

"Bella it's not always just you, I just loved you so much it broke my heart for you to leave me." I felt like bring up him asking me to marry him but stopped myself. We still need time to get to know each other again.

"Okay…I try to stop blaming myself." I tell him he smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Let's go inside." He says. He lets go of me but leaves an arm around my shoulders to help me walk because I'm still sick. I yawn.

"Are you tired?" He asks me. I smile shyly.

"You can go to bed in your room." He says to me.

"My room?" I ask confused.

"Yeah we turned the guest room into a room for you." I scowl.

"What?"

"Bella don't be stubborn. Mom did a lot of work for you to use it." He tells me.

"In one night?" I look at him.

"Well you know my mom; she's been doing it since we went off to college." I gasp.

"How did she know to do it?"

"It's Esme Bella; she knew we would end up liking each other again." Wow it's like she's physic. Scary.

"Be nice to her about it, she loves you like her daughter." He orders.

"Fine." I cross my arms around my chest. We walk into the house, everyone was standing there.

"SURPRISE!" They scream, making me jump two feet in the air.

I glare at Edward.

"What is this?" I ask them. Emmett runs to me picking me in his arms like normal.

"Bells!" He yells.

"Teddy bear." I laugh hugging him tightly. He pushes me back a little so he can show me his smile. I smile back. He puts me down so everyone else can hug me. Jasper picks me up quickly before everyone else.

"Bella-boo." He smiles, his warm body hugs me.

"Well hello JazaJel." Everyone laughs at my old nickname for him.

"I missed being called that." He says.

"Yeah it was always weird which works for Jasper." Rose says. Jasper glares at her.

"Hey!" He puts me down and walks over to Rose. She steps back. "That's what I thought." He laughs. Alice gives me a hug next, then Esme, Carlisle, last is Rose. She gives me a long hug.

"I'm sorry."

"It's still okay."

"Let's go talk, Alice you coming?" She asks, Alice nods. Oh this is one of their many girl talks. I look at Edward for help. He shakes his head.

"Baby." I murmur.

Rose takes my hand and moves me up stairs with her. We go to Alice's room, it looks like it did so many years ago. Rose tells me to sit. I take a deep breath.

"Okay I'm ready for what you have to tell me." They look at each other.

"What do you think it's bad?" Alice asks.

"Yes." They laugh.

"We just wanted to talk to you about Edward."

"Oh tell me." I say.

"Have you told him yet that you know he was going to ask you to marry him?" Rose asks.

I shake my head.

"Why."

"I don't want to upset him." I tell them.

"Bella you're going to have to tell him you know sometime." Alice tells me.

"I know just not know okay, please I just want to wait." I tell.

"Okay well be here for you when you tell him." I smile, I feel so happy to have the friendship back even if I've only had it for a day.

Well there you go, please if you didn't read my A/N please read it thanks you. Review, review. You'll make my day =) Oh night hahhah

RUNNER