Her father still wasn't home when she got in. A note on the kitchen table told told her that he was having a difficult delivery and probably wouldn't be in until after midnight. Bianca was making noise upstairs blaring Lady Gag-Me at a volume that made her head throb. She was so tired. It had been a long, eventful day. Tossing her backpack on the corner of the couch, she trudged up the stair as the beginning of her normal funk around this time of year started to set in. Patrick had done wonders at keeping it at bay for as long as he had, but he couldn't be with her all the time. Eventually they had to come up for air.
She let out a heavy sigh as she pushed her door open, came inside her bedroom and closed it behind her once again. The lock gave a reassuring click as it slid into place. Throwing the jacket she hadn't realized she'd kept over the back of her desk chair caused her to smile whimsically. It had been a good day. She let a warmth spread through her at the memory of all he had done for her. She hadn't expected him to go through all the trouble he had.
She tugged off her clothes and threw on her pajamas, a blue tank top that might have been Bianca's because it barely covered her breasts and left her stomach area completely exposed and a pair of worn blue plaid pajama bottoms that came to her mid calf and hugged her tightly. She decided that a morning shower was a better plan. She wasn't in the mood for it at the moment. She wasn't in the mood for much of anything. Which is why the soft knock at her door annoyed her more than anything.
She huffed and went to unlock it and let Bianca in.
" I thought I heard you come in." Her younger sister said and she went to Kat's bed and sat down on the side of it.
" Yeah, just now." Kat nodded and did her best to hide the frustration from her face.
" Can you talk for a minute ?" Bianca asked timidly under lowered lashes and Kat was helpless to do anything but come to her side and plop down next to her.
" What's up ?"
" Joey." She said vaguely.
" Care to elaborate ?" Kat prompted.
" Are you happy ?" Bianca asked out of the blue " I mean with Patrick ? Are you happy ?" She rolled her eyes. " And please don't start with all the ' I'm not with Patrick.' We both know it's crap."
" I wasn't going to actually." Kat attempted to hide the smile that was threatening to take over her face.
" Finally." The blond muttered as she leaned back with her hands behind her. " Is that where you've been all evening ?"
" Maybe." Kat ducked behind a curtain of her hair.
" And that was who you were arguing with at three this morning ?"
" Maybe." She repeated.
" That's great. I like him. Scary, but then so are you, so it kinda fits."
" I'm not scary." Kat protested.
Bianca sighed. " Yes, you are. But I'm not here to talk about your public image. I need your advice."
" I'll do my best." Kat nodded.
" First answer my question. Are you happy ?"
" Yes." She nodded decisively. " I am very happy."
" Good. I'm glad."
" So what's the problem with Joey ?"
Bianca shifted, crawling up to the headboard of Kat's bed, snatching her pillow to her chest and tucking her legs under her. It was very reminiscent of a fetal position and Kat wasn't at all sure she liked seeing her sister in such a position. She looked small and vulnerable, hurt and confused. Whatever Joey had done to her, Kat intended to make sure he answered for it.
" What is it ?" Kat asked, moving to Bianca's side and putting a hand over hers.
" He didn't show up this afternoon." Bianca answered finally in quiet voice. " I told him about Mom. I told him I needed him today and he didn't show up." She huffed. " I know this is stupid. I shouldn't be this upset about this. I'm not the center of the universe. But sometimes its like he forgets other people insist in the world beyond him. He's so...." She paused to search for the word. Kat watched her for a minute before deciding to throw her a bone and help her out.
" Self absorbed." She supplied.
" Exactly." Bianca nodded. " I bet he doesn't even remember that I told him I needed him to come over today."
" You didn't call him ?" Kat moved a strand of hair from her face.
" He lost his phone yesterday." She mumbled dejectedly.
" You didn't call me ?" She asked.
Her sister huffed again. " No, I knew you were off trying to have a good time and I didn't want to ruin it with my whining. Today has always been harder on you. You remember her better than I do."
" I would have gladly come home so you wouldn't have been alone." She told her in all sincerity.
" I know." She nodded. " But I wasn't alone. I called Cameron and he came over for a while and we watched Project Runway. It was nice." She shifted and looked up at Kat. " My question is, should I really be this upset that he forgot ? I mean really it isn't that big of a deal. I got along okay without him."
" God, I admire your great gift to rationalize." Kat muttered as she got to her feet. Anger at Joey bubbled in her chest. Of course Bianca should be angry. If she was important to him, like he claims, he would have been here for her. She started pacing but stopped when her eye caught the jacket on the back of her chair. She turned her gaze from it to her sister and let out a deep breath.
" Do you know what I did after school today ?"
Bianca nodded in the negative.
" Well, first off, my boyfriend-" She nearly giggled again at the word. " broke in here last night so he could stay with me because he knew I was upset and didn't want to be alone. Then today, because he knew I was upset and I would need him, he skipped class so he could arrange an elaborate picnic at the beach complete with my favorite things to eat and my favorite music."
She planted her hands on her hips and looked at her sister expectantly.
" That's so sweet." Bianca told her sitting up.
" Yes it was. It was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. But that isn't my point." Kat told her coming back to sit beside her again. " My point is he made an effort. He went through a lot of trouble actually. And you deserve someone that is willing to do the same for you, Bianca."
She saw tears brimming in the blue eyes that stared back at her.
" Don't settle just because he has a pretty face. It'll fade. Pretty doesn't last."
Bianca batted at her suddenly wet cheeks and mustered up a smile. " Patrick's pretty."
Kat smiled back and her eyes caught some movement outside her window. He was standing there, listening to them. " Yes, but I'm not with him because he's pretty. I just got the bonus package. Not everyone can be as lucky as me."
Bianca looked at her for a moment before following her gaze to the window. " Oh," She smiled. " So when is he going to start paying rent here ? Didn't he just drop you off like half an hour ago ?"
" He isn't staying." Kat grinned towards the window but made no move to get up and open it. Instead she held up her finger at him, telling him she needed a minute with her sister.
He nodded in response and disappeared out of view.
" So what are you saying ? Do you think I should break up with Joey ?" Bianca asked as she started to get up and give her sister some time with her boyfriend.
Kat grabbed her hand to stop her. " What did you do this afternoon ?"
" I told you. "Bianca answered, confused. " I spent the afternoon with Cameron, watching T.V.."
" Did you have a good time ?" Kat continued.
" Sure. I always have a good time with Cameron."
Kat gave her an exasperated look but Bianca just blinked at her, clearly not understanding what she was trying to say. " Do you always have a good time with Joey ?"
The younger girl sighed. " Most of the time."
" How often is most of the time ?"
" Well, it's not like I have a bad time with him. I just wish..." She broke off as if trying to find the right words. " I wish sometimes we could do the things I want to do. Usually I just let him make all the plans. "
" Have you told him that ?" Kat asked.
" No, we don't really talk like that."
" Who do you talk to about things like that ?" Kat continued on, determined to let her sister work this problem out on her own with minimal prompting from her.
" Cam-" She stopped in the middle of saying his name and it was like a light bulb literally went off over her head suddenly.
Kat nodded in response.
" I have to make a phone call." She said, jumping from the bed suddenly. Then she stopped and came back to Kat, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. " Thank you."
" My pleasure. Any time." Kat whispered as she hugged her back.
" Don't forget Romeo is outside your window." she said as she pulled away and went to the door.
" Let him wait. It's good for him." Kat teased as her eyes found the window.
He smirked at her in response, letting her know that he'd heard her.
She went to the door and locked it behind her sister before going to the window.
" Didn't I say that you weren't required to attach yourself to my hip just because we talked ?" She said upon opening the window.
" I couldn't help it. I missed you." He said. " Don't I even get a hello ?"
She went to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as his lips found hers and she couldn't help the smile that spread over her face.
" I came for my jacket." He announced as he let her go.
" I planned on bringing it to you tomorrow at school. You didn't have to come all the way back here for it." She smiled as she flopped down on her bed.
He sighed and jammed his hands in his pockets a little roughly. " Okay, so maybe I'm here for more than just my jacket."
" Really ? Was there something pressing we needed to discuss ?" She smirked.
His eyes scanned her as she laid out over her mattress and stretched. She had never been very good at this. It wasn't something she was comfortable with. Enticing and sexy weren't items on her list of virtues. And when she saw him standing at her window, she hadn't been thinking about getting him to stay. They had been together nearly unstop for over twenty four hours now. It was time for a break. But all her good intentions went straight out the window the minute he came through it.
He was standing in front of her in a pair of faded blue jeans that had definitely seen better days. The denim was worn and ripped in more than one place. A particularly alluring place being a wide tear across his left thigh. She had found herself staring at that rip all afternoon. It was large enough that she could make out the skin beneath it, complete with the dark covering of hair that, no doubt decorated the entire bottom half of him. Speaking of covering of dark hair, her eyes traveled up the expanse of his long torso, taking special interest in the way the jeans set low on his hips and how his dingy, white wife beater hugged to his body. Somewhere between dropping her off and scaling her house he had lost the brown t-shirt that he wore earlier. Now the thin,white, sleeveless shirt was all that hid the perfectly sculpted muscles of his chest. Dark, curly hair peak out over the top of the shirt and she followed the neckline of it with her eyes. She paused for a moment to appreciate the bulging of his biceps as he moved his hands out of his pockets and rested them on his hips instead.
The new pose caused her to refocus her vision and look up to his face.
Wow, she thought to herself, Bianca is right, he really is pretty.
She smiled at the way his head was cocked to the side and his mouth was forming a lopsided, casual smile. It wasn't until she got to his eyes that she realized he was watching her, watching him and enjoying it far too much.
He raised his hands out to the side as if in submission of her inspection and his smile turned from lazy to devious as he lowered his voice even more than its normal bass timbre. " Are you planning on buying something or just browsing ?"
He was playing with her and it should have irritated her that he had caught her staring so scandalously, but instead of irritation her mind and body were preoccupied by the pooling of heat in the pit of her stomach.
Deciding that she couldn't possibly let him win like that. The cocky grin on his face, while sexy in way she had only seen before in movies, was more than she could take. She laid back on the bed, shifting to her back and stretching again. Before turning back to her side and letting her hair fall over her shoulder while she propped her head up in her hand.
" I was hoping you had new material. But since you don't, I guess I'm just browsing." She lowered her eyes and batted her lashes at him.
He nodded. " So, you're after new material now. You're bored with the old stuff ?"
He hadn't moved, hadn't came to her like she was expecting him to, he just dropped his hands back to his sides and continued to eye her.
" Well," She shrugged. " You know, it's important to keep things interesting. New toys are nice. It's hard to keep the old ones from getting stale after a while."
He raised his eyebrows at her and chuckled, another thing that caused something low in her body to twitch uncontrollably. " I would hate for you to get bored with your old toys." He said and took a step closer to her. Then his hands moved from his hips to the waistband of his jeans. Long, nimble fingers tangled in the white material of his shirt and he lifted it ever so slowly over his stomach, past his pecks and over his head, letting it fall to the floor at his feet with a silent flutter. Then he quirked his eyebrow at her. " Better ?"
Kat's eyes followed the shirt's journey as if she were helpless to do anything else. The entire world stopped rotating as her gaze traveled the length of his body, mesmerized by every new inch of his flesh that he revealed. A muscle in his side twitched causing the skin there to flex and she wasn't sure if he had done it on purpose or if it was in involuntary reaction, but she did know, she was spellbound by it.
Unable to do anything more than stare, she prayed that he wouldn't say something that required any witty banter from her because she knew she had no hope of supplying any at the moment.
" Kat," He whispered taking another step closer to the bed. " What has gotten into you ? Are you okay ? Have you been drinking ?"
His brow was furrowed in what appeared to be genuine concern she noticed when she finally pulled her eyes from his chest to his face.
Swallowing hard to rid herself of the sudden build up of drool in her mouth, she shook her head as if physically pulling herself back from where ever she had disappeared to. " I'm fine. And no I haven't been drinking. I was with you all day. I'm sure you would have noticed if I was hitting the sauce."
He shrugged and again it took everything in her power not to fixate on the way his shoulder muscles flexed with the movement.
What the hell was wrong with her ? She knew she wanted him, that been a given for months now. She knew it was becoming more and more obvious as the days passed as well. But her reaction now was definitely out of the ordinary. Her attention landed on his hand which was resting back at his hip and all she could think about was his fingers sliding over her skin.
" You seem a little off." He commented.
" I'm not off." She countered. " I'm just distracted. It's been a long day."
He snatched his shirt from the floor and balled it into his hand. Then he grabbed the jacket from the chair before turning back to her. " Maybe I should go and let you get some sleep. Clearly you're in need of it." He gave her a smile.
She sat up quickly, causing him to pause in the process of opening the window. He turned back to her and looked expectant.
" Don't go." She told him, coming to him and taking the jacket from his hand. She gave it a fling and it landed right back where it had started. Then she turned to him and took his hand in hers. " I don't want you to go."
He sighed and looked down at her hand which was now caressing his thumb slowly. " I shouldn't. This is not a good idea."
" Why not ? You stayed last night." She blinked at him in what she hoped was innocence.
" Last night wasn't about me staying. It was about you not being alone. This," He put his gaze back on their joined hands. " isn't the same thing."
She dropped his hand and stepped away from him quickly. " It's okay." Her voice was small and full of hurt but she did everything she could to hide it from him. " You don't have to stay. I just thought you might want to."
Apparently she failed miserably because he closed the distance between them again. His arms came around her and her breath stuttered when his bare skin contacted her exposed stomach. " You have no idea how much I want to stay, which is exactly why I have to go." He whispered into her hair as his lips brushed across her ear.
Her hand came up to the side of his face and he leaned into her touch. " But I'm telling you I don't want you to go."
He smiled. " This could get out of hand fast." He glanced down her body before coming back to her face. " I'm only human."
Kat pushed herself into him and dragged her arm from his cheek to the nape of his neck. " It's okay." She had never been so nervous in her life. She had no idea where all this was coming from, but suddenly being with him, really being with him felt like the most important thing in the world to her. Her entire body felt like it was pulsing to the rhythm of her rapidly beating heart. Everything faded from her view and her mind besides him.
He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back, gently yet with a firmness that she was helpless to fight against.
Her eyes fell to the floor and she shrugged out of his hold and went back to the bed. " Fine I get it. Go."
He came to stand in front of her, hands on his hips and a suspicious look on his face. " What exactly is it that you get ?"
She turned her face from his using every bit of will power inside her not to bury her face in her hands. Instead she folded her arms over her chest and stared at her lap. " You don't want to do this."
He huffed and pulled his hands through his hair in frustration. " What I don't want to do is wake up next to you tomorrow and see the buyer's remorse on your face." He announced. " Have you thought about this, really thought about it ? Because I know you, if you haven't examined this decision from every different angle and turned it around and around in your head five hundred times, you'll regret it."
She got up and began to pace. " Maybe, just maybe I'm tired of living my life in a succession of carefully planned steps. Maybe just this once I wanted to do something spontaneous and out of control."
" Then buy a pair of shoes you can't really afford, steal a pack of gum from the store, or sneak into a theater without paying, but don't do this." He told her, very nearly shouting. " Don't use me-" he paused and took a deep breath, " Don't use our relationship," the word sounded forced and unnatural as he pushed it from his lips, " as a pawn in your need to rebel or whatever this is."
" I thought you'd be happy about this. It's what you want, right ? You've been telling me that for months. Or has it all been just harmless flirting for you ? Is this your way of telling me you don't really want me as much as you claim to want me ?"
The anger suddenly drained from him completely and his shoulders slumped with it's leaving. He came to her and wrapped her in his arms. " I want you so bad I can't breath sometimes." He said quietly as if the words themselves were painful. " You have no idea what you do to me."
" Tell me." She whispered looking up at him.
He rolled his eyes. " Do we really have to do this ? I thought we just went over all this in the cave."
" We didn't talk about this. We haven't ever really talked about this." She answered.
His arm tightened around her perceptively and he began to lead them over to her bed. Once there he sat her down. Then he went to the door, checking the lock and flipping off the light. Next he sat at the foot of the bed and removed his boots before crawling up beside her and stretching his long form out. Finally, he pulled her into his side.
" I thought this was a bad idea." She told him, nuzzling into his shoulder.
" It is." He replied. " Probably the worst idea either of us has had in a long time. But if you want to talk about this," He laid a kiss to her forehead. " We'll talk."
" You obviously don't want to talk about this. So why are you doing it ?"
He sighed loudly and pulled her tighter with the hand that was around her waist. " Because it's what you want and I want you to be happy."
" I want you to be happy, too." She said after a long moment of silence. " Maybe that's what all this is about."
He smiled and kissed her again. " I appreciate that you're giving me the green light here. But I want to know that I'm getting the 'go ahead' for the right reasons."
" Why does it matter what my reasons are ? I'm telling you I want to do this. You're a guy. Isn't that enough ?"
He nodded and gave a little laugh. " With anyone else, yes."
She shifted, raising her head so she could see his face. " What makes me so different ?"
" Ugh!" He exclaimed suddenly as he raked his hand through his hair once again. " Why are you making this so hard ? You know very well why you're different. Do we really have to go through all this ?"
She dropped her head back to his shoulder. " Because I need to know so I can examine this from all the different angles and turn it around in my head five hundred times."
He smiled and gave her a resigned nod. " I guess that sounds much more like you."
" Right. I need all the information so I can make a sound, fact based decision." She told him decisively. " And if sex is one of the possible end results, isn't it worth the effort ?"
He rolled quickly to his side and grabbed her to him, kissing the rest of whatever she had to say from her lips. He let his hands trail up her sides, pausing before they reached her breast as his mouth trailed away from her lips and down the column of her throat. She forgot whatever it was she was trying to say, letting one of her hands fist into his hair and the other slid over his bare back. Something spasmed inside her as his muscles bunched around her wandering hand. Then he was pulling her in tighter, bringing her lower body firmly against his and she gasped at the feel of him pressing firmly into her abdomen.
" That is what you do to me. All the time." He whispered, his lips brushing her ear as he spoke.
" All the time ?" She asked, still reeling from the feel of him so rigid against her. Most of the time he tried his best to hide it from her, whether out of embarrassment or a need to not feel like he was pushing her. Whatever the cause, he had never brought that particular reaction to her attention that way.
" All the time." He replied. " Whenever you're around, no matter what we're doing, who's with us, whatever. It's almost always there." His words were still caressing her ear and causing her insides to tighten at the same time.
" How did I not notice ?" She almost giggled again but this time she manage to fight it off successfully.
" I'm very good at hiding it. If not ' Sponk' would be my nickname instead of Cameron's."
She laughed out loud and snuggled in closer to him eliciting a groan in response.
He pulled his lips from her ear and let out a long breath. " God, you are evil, woman." He shifted pulling himself away from her a bit and giving himself room to breath, which he was doing in purposefully deep, even pulls. " That is why this isn't a good idea. I've been fighting that for months now and it just keeps getting harder by the day."
" No pun intended." She teased with a laugh at her own joke.
" That was terrible." He told her still trying to rein himself in and rolling to his back. " Maybe the worst joke I've ever heard you make."
" I'm sorry." She conceded. She stared down at him as her finger involuntarily began making designs on his chest. It trailed through the hair there, slowly exploring him.
Suddenly his hand came up and rested over hers, stopping her progress. " That is not helping."
She nestled her entire body into his side, flinging one of her legs over is and leaned forward bringing her face just inches from his. " What if I'm not trying to help ?"
" Kat," He groaned and closed his eyes while swallowing so hard his Adam's apple bobbed.
Her gaze fixated on it, watching it move and wanting so badly to feel it under her tongue. Suddenly she realized that the feeling inside her had gone beyond wanting. She could handle wanting something and not having it. No, whatever was happening to her, it had somehow shifted from want to need. She needed him, needed to feeling him under her hands, needed him to touch her, needed to kiss him, to taste him.
" Patrick," She whispered an instant before she leaned up and did exactly what she felt like she needed to do. Her tongue slid up the side of throat, bumping over the stubble there and making it burn in a deliciously decadent way. His hand tighten where it was still wrapped around her waist and it was almost painful where his fingers dug into her skin. " Patrick," She murmured right before she let her lips cover his bobbing Adam's apple and she began to suck on it, softly at first, then harder as she gauged his reaction. His heel dug into the mattress and she watched as his hips bucked almost imperceptibly into the air.
Her fingers slid over his shoulder, tracing the line of his collarbone and her tongue followed quickly in its wake, tasting the salty, tangy, sweetness of his skin and hoping that she never forgot it's flavor.
" Kat," She heard him say again and this time his tone was nearly pained. She ignored him, letting her mouth glide over the curve of his shoulder and come back up to his throat again. She didn't stop this time, instead letting her tongue move up its side, over his jaw line and to the place right below his ear. She delved her tongue into the hollow there for a moment before taking his earlobe into her mouth and grazing it gently with her teeth.
He let out a sharp hiss and suddenly he was no longer beside her, having launched himself to the other side of the bed, hugging the wall tightly. " Stop." He uttered breathlessly.
Blinking at him as she tried to hide the desperate longing and utter disappoint of his withdraw from him, she moved, sitting up quickly.
" What are you trying to do to me ?" He demanded a tough roughly as he yanked his hand through his hair and tried to still his panting breath.
She rolled her eyes before letting them land on the part of the bed separating them. " I thought that was pretty obvious."
He rubbed his hand along his thigh and took another deep cleansing breath. " Yeah, it is. I need to know why."
She shrugged. " I want you, you want me. Felt like the right time, certainly the right place." She muttered refusing to look at him. " You really are being such a girl about this."
He chuckled. " Did you just stereotype women so blatantly ? Was that really you ?"
She sighed heavily. " You're right. I can't believe I just said that. I'm sorry. But you are being a pain in the ass."
" I just need to know this is what you really want. Are you ready for this ?" He asked, shifting so that he was closer to her.
She nodded. " Yes, I am. Are you ready for this ?"
He didn't answer for a long moment and she glanced at him to try to read his expression. What she saw looking back at her was breath-stealing. His eyes were dark, hooded and shadowed by his long lashes. They were watching her so closely and intently it caused goosebumps to break out on her flesh. His hands were fisted, resting in his lap but there was a slight tremble to them, as if it was taking everything in him to keep them where they were. His breath was still ragged causing his chest to move rapidly as he fought for each breath. A rosy flush covered him giving his skin a pleasant glow.
The tip of his pink tongue sneaked out and he used it to wet his lips. Her eyes were drawn there and she was unable to keep herself from staring at his mouth as he spoke. " I've been ready for this for months. It's never been about me being ready."
" Then why are you making this so difficult ?" She asked.
" Because there are consequences." He told her.
She laughed and rolled her eyes at him. " Are you serious ? We don't need to have this discussion. Haven't you met my father ? You know very well I am perfectly informed about the consequences."
He laughed with her. " I wasn't talking about those consequences. We both know all about those. I mean that sex changes things. Things between us will never be the same after this. Have you considered that ? Are you okay with that ?"
She shifted moving so that she was directly in front of him and took his hands in hers. " I know things will change. I get that. But I also know things already have changed. Today in the cave made things different. This just seems like the next logical step."
He chuckled. " Well, as long as you've come to the logical conclusion." He mocked.
She snatched her hands back from his and folded them over her chest. " Don't mock. I'm taking this seriously. I'm not making this decision on a whim."
" What about your father ?" He asked, though his body had somehow moved a little closer to hers without her even noticing him shift.
" I already know what his opinion of this would be." She smiled.
" I was asking if you really wanted to try this with him just down the hall. Seems a little risky to me." He explained.
She raised her hand and let a finger trail from his shoulder to his elbow, slowly, watching as it bumped over his muscles enticingly. " He's at work until late. Note said after midnight."
His eyebrows raised towards his forehead slightly. " Bianca ?" He was whispering now and leaning in closer to her inch by inch.
" Busy trying to decide if Cameron James might be her Prince Charming instead of the idiot." She told him with her eyes fixated on his lips.
" Really ? How did that happen ?" Patrick laughed suddenly.
She grabbed his head and pulled his down to her lips. " Later." She murmured before covering them with hers.
She felt herself being moved, his hands at her waist adjusting her like he wanted her and she let him without protest. At the moment, with his lips on hers and his hands on her skin, she was putty anyway. She quickly understood what he was trying to do and helped him, shifting with him until they were laying side by side on the bed. They made the move without ever breaking contact with each others lips.
When he did pull away, he smoothed her hair from her face and looked down at her. " I want it noted that I did everything in my power to make sure this is what you really want." He said, resting his forehead against hers for a moment.
" Noted. Now kiss me." She answered before yanking him back to her.