Title: Dance with Me
Rating: M
Summary: A major league baseball player with a bad rep needs to clean his image. He signs on to do a reality dance show. Will he clean his image and have the right kind of chemistry with his partner?
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing.
Comments: Based loosely on the reality t.v. show Dancing with the Stars.
Big thank you to Riss-uscma and flutetenorsaxplayer2008 for their work on editing, reading, and encouraging me.
More sexual related content. And yes, I totally agree with everyone: Bella did a very shitty thing. I'm impressed that a couple of people noticed that its usually the guy who 'fucks n goes' (sorry for the language.
June 4th 2008
Bella POV
Two days; I had two days to clear my head and make up my mind. I was torn, I wanted to go with Edward to Seattle, but I also wanted to clobber him for choosing a team so far away. I actually thought he was going to stay here and play for the Angels. I could handle that. The team was literally twenty minutes away. I could have…no- I would have gone to his games! But now I can't go. He was leaving me.
When Edward told me he was moving to Seattle I felt anguished. It hurt because I knew how far away that was. A flight from here to Seattle was less than three hours. It was manageable, right? We could try to make this work. Oh, who was I kidding? Long distance relationships hardly ever worked! Relationships were hard enough and now adding our busy schedules and a two hour flight between us…I just wasn't sure if I could do it. I wasn't sure if I could maintain a relationship with Edward anymore. Things were easy for us now, and I knew eventually he'd start playing but I didn't prepare myself for this. I didn't seriously consider that Edward wanted to leave.
The day at the beach was phenomenal. Edward surprised me early in the morning with Starbucks and muffins. We had a blissful morning filled with yummy food and cuddling. I snuggled up to Edward with my coffee and I felt like the luckiest girl alive. Later on he took me to the beach. Everything was going great…until he told me where he was going. In a desperate move, I pleaded him to sleep with me so that I could make up my mind. I needed him to show me that there was an 'us' and that we'd still be together even after the summer.
The sex itself was emotional for me anyway. I asked him to convince me, but I was the one who ended up confused. I tried to use Edward, and then he flipped the switch on me and took over. He did convince me that what we have is something special. I knew I cared deeply for him, but now reality was crashing in on us. He was going back to work and I didn't know where that left us. It was all too much for me. I had to get out of there. I had to clear my mind and re-evaluate everything.
I was such a horrible person for having left him like that. No one wanted their boyfriend or girlfriend to leave right after they'd just slept together. If Edward did that to me, I'd have been devastated. It was such a shitty move, and yet I did it. In my defense, I needed some space and some time to think, and I couldn't do that with Edward right next to me. I needed my own sanctuary so I went home. In the confines of my tiny apartment, I thought long and hard about the choice I was given.
Yes, I saw Edward in my long-term future. I could really see me settling down with him. That thought brought a smile to my face. Being with Edward, maybe even having a family with him; it was all very possible. Edward even saw that for us. He told me he wanted me to come with him after my contract expired. I could move in with him and have my own studio. We could get started on the next chapter in our lives.
Having the long-term fantasy helped me decide that I could support Edward with his decision. In the back of my mind I knew there was a possibility that my fantasy wouldn't come true. Like I said, long distance relationships are difficult to work out. I was willing to put the effort and so was Edward, but what would happen if it got too much for us? Both our careers required us to travel. He had a team to work with, and I had a new partner every 3-6 months. I was afraid that the traveling and separation would drift us apart.
Why Seattle? Okay, from a sports view maybe it was a better choice. But we were together now. Didn't my opinion matter to him? Didn't my opinion have any weigh in the conversation? Okay, so I knew I was being selfish. I knew that if he had asked me what I wanted, I would've told him to stay here with me. But I knew how much Edward wanted to play. I saw how hard he worked to get to this point. He missed playing and when I really thought about it, I saw it like me not being able to dance.
What if I was injured and I had to go to rehab in order to get better so I could dance again? If that happened of course I would've missed dancing. Dancing was a big part of my life. It was more than a career; it was my lifestyle. I finally came to an understanding-he needed this. It was his passion and life. Baseball made him happy like dancing made me happy. He chose his team, and now I had to support him. He needed that from me.
For the past few months, we worked together and supported each other. We were a team and it was fantastic. Being in a relationship with Edward meant I had to take on a different supportive role now that we were no longer on the show. As his girlfriend, I had to be there for him because I would have wanted him to be there for me. Support worked both ways and if we were really giving us a shot, then we'd have to do what was necessary even if it wasn't the easiest thing to do. It was all about compromising.
Sure, I would have some insecurity from time to time, but if I talked with Edward then we could find a way to work through it. I'm sure Edward would have some insecurity too, and when he did it was my job to calm him down and find a solution. I had to believe that if we worked together, then we could overcome this long distance thing. I couldn't let the negative get to me. Not now when I had just decided that I would follow Edward after my contract was up. If we reached that milestone and we were still together then yes, I would pack everything up and move back up north.
That timeframe was still a long way off. I had another year in my contract with a possible opportunity for negotiations. If they wanted me, and if I was willing to opt back in then I could have a new contract. I wasn't about to decide on that yet. I couldn't be sure if I wanted a new contract or if I wanted to pursue other things.
There was a long list of things I could do if I wasn't going to be on the show. I could open my own studio. I could design my own dancing clothing line. I could go back to school. And I wouldn't have to give up dancing at all. If I wanted, I could even start teaching. Teaching ballroom and Latin was probably an ideal job for me. I could even end up teaching future world champions.
That thought was really appealing, but I would save that dream for the future. My own career was just taking off. Now that I was a pro I had more options. I didn't have to tour the country and compete. For once in my life, I could have a permanent address. My little apartment wasn't what I would call 'home.' I used it mainly for work purposes. It was close to the studios. I could walk to work if I had too.
All my musings and dreams were getting me excited for the future. I knew I had to be levelheaded about this. Having dreams were good, but making them a reality was the hard part. If I kept my goal in mind which was to ultimately move back up north with Edward, then I'd have to focus on my career and what I wanted to do with my life. Edward was thinking about his own career and I admired his determination. He wanted both of us to succeed in our careers. He was smart to focus on that. That was important right now. He had his life and I had mine. Our lives meshed for a while, but now was the time for us to be apart.
"Hey, Bella!" Jessica said skipping over to me.
She pulled me out of my reverie. It was Monday; the start of our summer tour rehearsals. Mike and Jess were the main choreographers. We all contributed, but they were mostly in charge of our sets and dances.
"Oh, hey," I replied. "What's up?"
"Nothing," she sang. "I just wanted your input on the Latin piece."
The pros arrived earlier than the celebrities. We took the time to choreograph most of routines beforehand. That way, we could teach our celebrity partners faster. We had a three group routines that the celebrities would dance in; we also had our own professional routines. Edward and I also needed to brush up on our Rumba. We were going to dance our "Bleeding Love" rumba and our "Don't Stop the Music" freestyle. I needed to teach Edward a total of five routines.
Jessica and I worked on our pro Samba routine. We finished choreographing the routine and then we decided to reconvene later. We still had to choreograph our ending number.
It was almost eleven am now. The celebrities were starting to show up. We had a total of four celebrity performers including Edward.
I was a bit nervous for today. Since that day I left Edward, I started screening my calls. Edward called incessantly, but I didn't pick up. I wasn't prepared to talk to him yet; I needed that time to think.
I was in the middle of a water break when I saw Edward stroll in. He was wearing track pants and a t-shirt. He had a gym bag and he was holding a Gatorade bottle. He looked okay. There were no traces of sadness or anger. He looked normal, and for some reason I was relived. If he had come in here all mad I wouldn't know what to do. I couldn't handle Edward when he was mad or sad. Our private life was private and I was glad he had enough decency to forget about our problems while we were working.
Edward saw me because I was right by the ballet bar which was directly across him. He looked at me, and then he dropped his bag and drink on the floor. I watched as he shoved his stuff to one side of the wall. He hadn't spoken to anyone yet until Mike went over to him. They greeted each other and Edward seemed genuinely friendly.
They started talking and I turned my attention back to the mirror. I lifted my leg up on the bar and began to stretch. I was so focused on stretching my leg; I didn't even hear or see Edward approach me.
"Bella," he said quietly so only I could hear him. He was standing directly behind me. If I leaned back I would be touching him; we were that close.
I looked in the mirror and met his eyes. They were penetrating mine and I desperately wanted to look away. His eyes were hard. He was looking at me like there was something wrong.
"Can we talk after practice?" he asked. I noticed he kept his tone even. He was trying to control his emotion and I guessed he was feeling pretty pissed off at me.
I mutely nodded my head. I couldn't do anything else because no words were coming out.
With that, Edward left me and then he turned around and asked me which shoes he should put on first.
"The ballroom ones," I mumbled.
Ten minutes later, I found myself teaching Edward our opening number. We were going to start of with all the professionals and celebrities. We had an even number of pairs and naturally I was paired with Edward. Our opening dance consisted of ballroom core. We had a lot of dancing in hold and there were lifts.
Edward picked up on it pretty quickly. I think his mind set was still stuck in the show rehearsals and it translated in this rehearsal. We spent time running through it in sections. After that, we broke apart so that we could teach our celebrity partners. I worked on the footwork and the lifts with Edward.
It was strangely amazing how well we worked together even in the midst of an argument. We weren't on the best of terms with one another, yet we both knew we had a job to do so we were committed to putting in the work. When we were at work we remained professional. Edward treated me respectfully. He followed my instructions and he took the dancing seriously. I was pleased with him.
We ran through the routine a couple more times and then we switched gears to the other group routine. This routine wasn't ballroom. Mike and Jess chose a Jive/Swing dance. There idea was for it to be fun. And it was, but it was also a lot of technique and it was very fast paced footwork. Edward struggled with the Jive, so I was a little worried about him picking up this routine. He'd have to work extra hard to nail this one.
Edward wasn't the only one who struggled with it. The dance was fast and it was hard to keep up with the music. He got better, but I still needed to help him polish his moves. From there we worked on the closing routine.
Today was all about introducing the group routines to the celebrities. We'd have more rehearsals but we'd be spending less time in group rehearsals as the week continued. Tomorrow I'd have to schedule some time for Edward and I to practice our Rumba and Freestyle routines.
When rehearsal ended, I went over to the opposite end of the room to gather my stuff. Edward took off his shoes, stuffed them in his gym bag, and then took a long drink of Gatorade. Once I had my ballet flats on, I stretched my back and tied my hair up in a messy bun.
"See you, Bella!" Mike and Jess called from the doorway. Mike gave Edward a fist bump and then they were gone. There were still people around gathering their stuff and saying goodbye to me. I waved and then picked up my bag.
Edward was waiting for me by the door. He was sweating and his t-shirt was soaked. His hair was very messy and he looked tired. He gave me a look and motioned for me to walk out.
Edward guided me to the parking lot with his hand on the small of my back. All day we were professional with our dancing and touching. I wasn't hot for him while we were in the studio, but now that we were by ourselves, I was acutely aware of him. I found that funny because I normally felt that sexual chemistry when we danced. I guess it was because we were in the middle of an argument-our sexual chemistry was snuffed so to speak. But now we were outside and it was just the two of us. The light touch of his hand on my back sent tiny jolts of electricity down my spine. His hand moved and he put it on my waist. We were walking side-by-side as opposed to him guiding me.
Edward took me to my car and waited while I fetched my keys. When I opened my door, he grabbed my dance bag and threw it inside my car. He shut the door and looked to face me. For some reason I wasn't afraid of him. I could tell he was angry with me and he had every right, but there was something so sexy about him. His sweat soaked t-shirt let me have a peek at his chest, and his messy hair was begging for me to touch it and run my fingers through it. He was hot and not just in temperature.
"I'd like to talk to you," he said breaking our silence. "But I would prefer we talk somewhere more private."
"Okay," I replied. I was having a difficult time looking directly at his eyes and not at his chest.
"Will you meet me at my place in an hour? I think that gives us enough time to get cleaned up."
"Umm, yeah that sounds good. I'll see you in an hour."
Edward studied me for a second and then he abruptly left. He walked to his car and quickly got in. He was out of the parking lot before I even started my car.
I got home, and made a beeline for my shower. I was looking forward to talking with Edward. I was ready now. I was sure he would be angry and that he'd have a lot of questions for me. I had a lot of explaining to do and I was sure that once we talked we could move past this. We had to.
I arrived at Edward's an hour later. I felt nervous but in a good way. I fidgeted with my hair and mentally cursed myself for not having a ponytail holder. The weather was brutal. My hair was sticking to the nape of my neck because of sweat. I was wearing a short green skirt and a white tank top. I looked cute but casual. This wasn't a date per see, but I still wanted to look cute for him.
Edward opened the door looking casual in his basketball shorts and t-shirt. He was barefoot and this time he looked more relaxed. He gestured for me to come in. I walked in and went immediately to the kitchen. There were a few small trays of food and there was a bottle of wine. I looked at him confused.
"I know you feel more comfortable when you're eating," he explained. "I ordered fettuccine alfredo and salad from Olive Garden. Please eat."
He handed me a plate and motioned for me to start with the salad. I was stunned. I thought he wanted to talk. I didn't think he'd go all out just for me. Then again, Edward was nothing if not considerate. He always treated me with respect.
I loaded my plate up with salad and pasta. Edward sat down across from me and poured the red wine. After handing me a glass, he began to load his plate with the salad and pasta.
"Thank you," I said referring to the food.
"You're welcome," he replied.
I swirled my fork around the noodles and took a bite. It was yummy and for a moment I almost forgot why I was here. The atmosphere seemed too relaxed. As if he could read my mind, Edward cleared his throat and looked at me.
"Bella," he said carefully. "I want to talk about what happened the last time we saw each other. I know this isn't our first disagreement and right now I need to talk and you need to listen. You can speak freely after I'm finished. Is that okay with you?"
I nodded and he gave me a tight smile of agreement.
"I know this situation isn't ideal for us. We just started seeing each other, the show is over and the tour is starting soon. I know we need some more time to be with each other. I'm not taking away any time from us. I'll be moving to Seattle in the Fall or sometime after the holidays. We have the whole summer to ourselves, granted I will be going back to training in a few weeks.
I'm also going to put this house for sale and find a new one in Seattle. I meant what I said earlier. I do want you to come up and move with me once your contract is up if you feel inclined to do so. I won't force you into anything; the decision is entirely up to you."
He took a moment to take a drink and then he continued, "I do have some questions for you and honestly, I am very confused and somewhat ticked off that you could just leave like that after everything we've been through."
I started to open my mouth to say something, but he held up his hand in protest.
"It's still my turn."
I pushed a forkful of noodles into my mouth and kept silent.
"I knew you wouldn't like my decision but I never thought you'd ask me for sex and then leave. Shit, Bella! Did you want to use me? You ask me to convince you, but who the fuck asks their partner to convince them with sex? You flat out used sex as a deflection. Instead of talking to me and trying to work things out, you pacify us with sex. Don't you know I wanted to be with you, but not like that! The memory of our first time is tainted. I wanted our first time to be special, now it's just filled with the memory of you walking out on me."
He stopped talking and took another sip of wine. When he went back to eating his food I knew he was finished talking.
In that moment I felt so bad for him. I felt guilty because everything he said was true. He was right-our first time should have been special. It should have been when we were both ready to say I love you. Instead it was hurried, rushed, and full of bad emotions. I used him? Did I really? Well, yes I guess I did. I didn't mean to use him, but I was caught up in the moment and it wasn't a good moment either.
"Can I speak now?" I asked.
"Go ahead."
"I came here tonight to tell you that yes, if you were still willing to work on us then I am too," I said as the tears started to spill down my face. I was getting emotional and I felt like I had to not only apologize to him but I also had to prove to him that I wasn't chickening out on us.
"I know I didn't handle the news in the best way, and there is no excuse for what I did to you. I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't think about anything… I was just going through the motions and I was afraid. The very thought of you moving away made me feel like you were leaving me. I didn't want our little bubble to pop and in a way it already did.
I know I was lucky to spend so much time with you on the show. I tried to prepare myself for the time when we'd be apart, but I guess I didn't prepare well enough. I guess all I wanted to do tonight was tell you I'm sorry and that if you still wanted me then I'll follow you to wherever you go."
Edward had stopped eating. He looked at me the entire time I spoke. For a moment he just stared at me. He didn't say anything and that was when I thought I had messed us up beyond repair. He wasn't going to accept my apology.
"Why didn't you answer your phone?"
"What?"
"Your phone," he snapped. "I called you for two fucking days and you didn't answer! I thought you were sick! I thought you were avoiding me. Shit. I didn't know what to think anymore."
"I'm sorry," I said. "I was screening my calls. Honestly I just needed some time to process everything you told me. I needed to think and I had to be alone."
"The first time you did that when the pictures leaked I let it go. I brushed it off because all I could think about was that you were okay and that you still wanted to be with me. But this is the second time you've shut me out. It hurt and I donn't like it."
"I can't explain that really. I'm used to being on my own. I never had someone special to consider and that's how I think! I need silence and solitude in order to help me think about stuff."
Edward threw his napkin on the table and got up from the chair.
"That's a load of bullshit!" he cried. "That's the lamest excuse I've heard from you. That's how you think? What the fucking hell? So the going gets tough and you run away? I understand you need time to think, but come on, Bella!"
I stood up abruptly my food meal forgotten. I walked toward Edward but he just held up his hands in front of him and backed away from me.
"Do you have any idea what you put me through? It was hell not being able to talk to you. I tried to communicate with you and I couldn't because you were too busy thinking."
"I'm sorry for what I did. Okay, I realize I should have spoken to you and I could have handled everything better. I'm sorry, Edward. What else do you want from me?"
"I would have left you alone if you had just said you needed some time. Don't leave me hanging, Bella not after everything we've endured. If you can't talk to me then just tell me 'hey, Edward I need some time leave me alone' I would have respected that."
Edward walked toward me and sighed. He looked defeated. Finally everything was out in the open. He said his peace and I said mine. But now we had to compromise. I wanted this to work and I hoped he still did.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you," he said. "I shouldn't have done that."
I stepped closer to him and gave him a tentative smile. "I understand. You were upset with me and I'm sorry too."
"Remember what you told me a few weeks ago?"
I shook my head a little. No, I didn't remember what I told him because in the past few weeks I spoke to him a lot and nothing really stood out right now. Edward was standing directly in front of me now. His long frame towered me and when he brought his hands to rest on my waist I almost grew weak in the knees. He was calmer and I loved him like this because I hated it when we fought.
"You said we were in this together. I still want to be in this with you. Do you want that too?"
"Yes," I replied. "I want this to work too."
He brought his left hand to my cheek tracing invisible lines on my face. He smiled at me and brought his lips to mine. His kiss was deep it felt like he was penetrating my very soul. I brought my hands to his neck and melted against his body. The kiss was slow, long and it was our forgiveness. Neither one of us wanted to fight anymore. All we wanted was to make up.
Edward pulled back; looking into my eyes he took a deep breath and said, "I missed you."
"I missed you two," I whispered. "I'm so sorry, Edward," I cried more tears slipping down my face; I was clinging onto him for dear life. I had him in a death grip and all he could do was hold onto me. He was holding me, rocking me against his body in a soothing motion. I felt emotionally drained. It took us a lot of courage to say all that. We went through a lot in the last few days and now I needed him to hold me.
We must have stayed like that for a while because the next thing I knew Edward had me lying down on his bed. He was hugging me close and I was finally starting to calm down. Edward was rubbing my back and talking quietly to me. I wasn't sure what he was saying but just hearing his voice helped me feel better.
I laced my hand through his and held it against my torso. Squeezing his fingers; I turned to face him. He had a looked bit sad but there was a tiny hint of a smile a real happy smile. I brought my hand to his hair and ran my fingers threw the soft locks. Touching him was incredible because it reminded me of where we came from-our dancing partnership. I kept running my hand threw his hair and when I reached the nape of his neck, I leaned into him and gave him a kiss.
This was my apology. I tried to convey everything I had in that kiss. All my good qualities and my bad ones; if he wanted me all of me then he wouldn't get anything less. I wanted to be with him no matter what. I knew we had something special and I wasn't going to let anything get in the way of that not even my own fears.
Very slowly Edward deepened the kiss. He pulled my lower lip between his and sucked on it. We shared many kisses but none like these. This kiss was sexy and sensual and it was all Edward. He let my lip go and then opted to push his tongue into my mouth. His french kissing skills were really superb although I doubt there was anything Edward couldn't do well. His lips left mine only to attach to my throat. He moved his lips all around my neck and throat and I tired really hard not to let him know vocally how good he was making me feel.
I felt his hands traveling under my shirt and I took the initiative to sit up and take it off. When I did that, he looked surprised, and then he broke out into a grin and took his off. I moved to lie on my side, and Edward faced me.
We started kissing again and then he pulled me closer. I could feel his naked chest against mine. We'd been this close before but that was when we were dancing with a very thin layer of costume separating us. His skin feel amazing against mine and when I brought my hands to the planes of his back he pulled back from my lips and groaned.
"Fuck, I like your hands on me," he said. "God, Bella I've missed you so much and it's only been two days."
"I know what you mean," I replied. "I missed everything about you; I need you so much Edward."
We were still facing each other, and resumed our kissing. I felt oddly relaxed lying down next to him just kissing. It was lazy and slow; it was perfect. Things naturally progressed from there; Edward and I ended up removing the rest of our clothing. He entered me slowly and it was the best feeling in the world.
It felt different being with him while we were lying on our side, but our connection was stronger than ever. We always had amazing chemistry on the dance floor and it translated to our personal life. Edward lips never left me. If he wasn't kissing my lips he was kissing my neck or shoulder. When I closed my eyes, he flipped us so that he was on top.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he chanted as he thrust into me.
I knew why he was apologizing and I matched his cries of forgiveness with my own. I wound my arms around his neck and reached up to kiss his jaw and moved all around his face.
"I'm sorry too," I breathed.
He bent down to suck on my neck, when I felt him bite down I almost screamed. Edward sucked on the skin and then he'd bite into it, then he'd soothe it with his lips and tongue.
"Come for me, Bella please."
He reached between my legs and flicked at my bundle of nerves all the while biting down on my neck. When I came, he lifted his lips away from my neck and gave me a deep kiss. Edward followed me and I felt him push all his weight on me. He was spent and I felt good knowing that I was the one who made him feel like this. He was mine and he and I were going to be okay.
"So Seattle?"
"Yeah, I think we could be happy there."
"I think so too," I murmured as he lifted himself off of me. Edward was next to me on my right. He looked at me and gave me big smile.
"I know this isn't the most romantic thing to say right now or maybe it is, but I have to say it. I love you, Bella. I do and it scared me to admit that, but I can't help but say that it's the truth."
Just like that, everything came crushing down on me. The events of the past few days were already enough to make me cry, and now our fight, tears and makeup sex added to that. It was all too much, and at the same time it was everything I needed. I loved him; if I didn't I wouldn't have cared about Seattle or LA or any of that stuff. It came down to our love-we loved each other and therefore we would support each other wholeheartedly.
"I love you too, Edward."
This is not the last chapter. I thought it would be...but Edward needs the final say. ;)
Riss and I were talking....she commented that Edward forgave her too easily. I agree and that was intentional. In the books Bella does a lot of questionable things (not really bad, but come on, the whole Jacob thing... Edward does forgive her easily because he loves her so.)
I ended this on a lighter note... yeah they said ILY...but they have some stuff to overcome and relationships are tricky....you may love that person, but there's going to be tests to see how strong the relationship is...Alright, I sound like a self-help book on relationships so I'll stop now. I just wanted to add some fluff and give you guys a glimpse of the kinks in their relationship.
Till next time.
Tina