Edward's secretly the hot-as-hell-let-me-marry-you guy. He and Bella have been best friends since….forever! But what happens when guys start to notice Bella? Edward decides to show just how hot he is!

Get Your Own Hot Geek

Chapter 2: Into A Swan (Edward's POV)

Normally, I liked gym, like time would fly during this class. I used to love playing basketball, and don't get me wrong, I still do. I just… don't like the locker rooms - especially after class. Why? Because their conversations are unmasked here. And today was the worst ever due to their new "target".

"Hey, didja check out Isabella today?" said Mike Newton, captain of the football team.

Tyler, befuddled, asked, "Who?"

And I, two lockers down from them, internally screamed a long, long string of profanities which Bella, or anyone for that matter, will never hear out loud in their lifetime. Maybe. If these idiots do something… All right, pardon my French if you will, but I didn't like the direction where this conversation was going.

"The brunette with the nice backside!" replied the Fig Newton. Yeah, and I'd love to shove something up your…

Tyler's eyes widened in understanding. "Ohhh, herrrrr… Chief Swan's daughter!"

Mike grinned. "Yeah I'd totally do her. I call dibs, ayt?" And I'd totally bash your face in. And seriously, who says "ayt" these days? Idiots! What the hell was I going to do now? It's not like Bella and are going out. No, we had to be best friends all our lives, yeah, nothing more, sure.

Dammit, I'm an idiot, I said to myself.

Yes you are, said my alternate ego, Edwick.

Who are you?! I asked.

Edwick, nice to meet me, Edward - you coward.

What…?

I'm your self that comes up to help yourself in times of dire need, if you catch my drift.

Uh, okay? I began to confuse myself even more.

Oh God, I was having an internal dilemma. Literally.

I snapped back to the present due to Tyler's annoying voice. "You know what this means then, right, buddy?" Tyler asked Mike.

"Operation collect and select?" Mike asked back. He had an evil glint in his eye while saying this… I could only cringe as to what they were planning.

"Fuck yeah," Tyler grinned back "oh, wait, isn't she already taken?"

Please let them buy that, please let them buy that, please let them buy that... I wished with all my heart. MY BELLA! Mine, mine, mine, ,mine, MINE.

"I don't think so, Ty. Oh wait, who? That lanky guy who's always with her?"

HEY! HEY!Screamed my inner selves. I'm not lanky! I don't spend that much time in the gym for nothing! I'm actually more toned than these two, thank you very much. I just don't show off my muscles like hither imbecile one and two. Needless to say, I wanted to bang their heads together 1000 times all the more. But then again, I didn't want Charlie - Bella's dad, police officer, future father in law if I may be excused as to count my chickens - to arrest me, aka his future son in law if I may be pardoned as to jump to conclusions once more.

"Yeah, what was his name…" Mike cocked his head to his side, and squinted while deep in thought.

"Edwin, I think. Dunno. Some loser, I guess. I don't think they're going out."

Hello? Had they not realized I was in the same gym class as them, currently in the same shower room? Good god, did I really look that different WITHOUT my glasses? Had my disguise done the job all to perfectly to conceal my "looks" to these girls just so I could spend ALL my time with Bella? I needed to check.

… Anyway, I think I really want to bash their faces in now, Edward. My alter ego was very emotion driven.

Yeah… me too. But we shouldn't, said my self self, if that makes sense. I don't want to have a bad image with father in law.

You're an idiot, Edward.

We've gone over this, Edwick.

My mind needed to shut up, I thought, as I continued eavesdropping on Mike and Tyler.

"Lauren might know if they're going out, and who this loser is! Hahaha," said Mike.

Tyler raised his eyebrow at Mike and asked, "dude… isn't Lauren your girlfriend… ?"

"What? Lauren thinks so? Fuck," Mike hissed in disgust. I would say poor girl, but that Lauren had it coming. No, she always has it coming for her - the unclassy girl she is. Had I been a girl (heaven forbid) this morning defending Bella from Lauren, I would've socked her face. But no, I'm a gentleman. Thanks for raising me this way, mom.

… but Mike… I knew was a player. No, a jackass. No, a bastard. No, the spawn of satan. I was beginning to get scared for my Bella. Very scared. I needed a plan.

"Whatever, Mike. So what's the plan?" asked Tyler, wanting to just get their "planning" done and over with.

Plan? I panicked inside.

FUUUUUUDGE, said Edwick. It had to be that bad for him to panic as well… and not even cuss!

Mike smiled a smile fit for rapists (I swear on my CD collection's grave), then continued, "taken or not… Isabella Swan will be mine."

"You're not scared of the chief, Mike?" asked Tyler.

"Dumbass, I'm rich, did you forget that?" Mike retaliated.

"Oh." Then they both laughed. Their voices began to fade; I realized they were headed out the door of the locker room.

Fudge indeed.

Bella, why did you have to turn from ugly duckling into my beautiful swan?

Then it hit me like an epiphany similar to the day I realized I loved Bella more than I loved my everything. I needed to step out of my disguise… and outshine these two to protect my Bella.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

It's the only way I can think of...

Slowly and precisely I picked up my phone and dialed the speed dial number 2. The person on the other line picked up after 3 rings.

"Hey bro, what's up?" asked the high pitched yet adorable voice on the other end.

"Alice…" I breathed out, I didn't realized I had been holding my breath all this time.

" So lemme guess, dear brother, something about Bella, your clothes, some stupid jocks, and a plan?" she chirped. Had she seen this coming? What in the world? Sometimes I swear my sister could be so… psychic. It was creepy, but helpful at times.

Whatever, she knows more than you do. Besides, if you haven't noticed, you're as transparent as mucous without snot, Edward. You dingleberry.

Everybody except Bella knows I'm in love with her, Edward - er, I, corrected Edwick.

I'm rolling my eyes at you, Edward. Hahahaha.

For the love of GOD, shut up, Edwick. I blinked a few times.

"COUGH COUGH, EDWARD? WELL?" screamed Alice.

"Uh… y-yes," I answered, unsure of how she even know so much, and mostly because I was still in a daze.

"… OMGOMGOMG, CAN I?" she shrieked into the phone. I think I just burst an eardrum. "OMG FINALLY!"

"Yes… Alice. Give me.. a m-m-makeoverjustdon' ." I sighed after shutting my phone. This weekend was going to be a very, very, very, very, very long one.

All's fair in love and war, right? Apparently so, because I'm a guy, getting a make over from Alice Cullen, for the love of my life Bella Swan, wanting to kill Mike Newton, all because love's unfair to me!

Fundic region, fundic region, fundic region, fundic region!

Just say it, coward! Or I will!

Fine! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Finally.