2

Oh, the Humanity!

"You're kidding, right?" Dean whispered. Sam shook his head. "He can't be human, Sam, he's a freakin' angel!"

"Look, Dean, I can't explain it. All I know is what Bobby told me. And look at him," Dean glanced over at the battered man behind him. "A couple of regular guys did that to him. A few days ago they would've broken their hands trying to hit him. Something's made him this weak and vulnerable. Something made him human." Dean shook his head, running a hand over her face.

"What are we gonna do?" He asked. Sam sighed, looking over his shoulder at Castiel, who was staring at the floor, looking scared.

"I don't know. Maybe we should tell him what's going on."

"Maybe we should tell him once we're sure," Dean retaliated. "We tell him now and it'll scare the ever lovin' crap out of him. He won't know what to do. He doesn't know how to be human."

"Dean, what is he gonna do when he feels something he's never felt before? That's gonna scare him a helluva lot more than if we tell him flat out."

"I can hear you."

The brother's turned, guilty looks on their faces.

"You think I am…am…human?" Dean had seen Castiel's face show a few emotions. Confused, angry, slightly happy, and more recently, betrayed and hurt. This was new.

His eyes were wide, innocent, and so very scared. "What are we going to do?" His hands were shaking.

"Uh," Sam glanced at Dean, who gave a "hell if I know" shrug. "We'll, uh, we'll figure this out, okay? It'll be okay." There was a low growl that came from Castiel's stomach. He looked down, eyes wide.

"What was that?" He asked worried.

"You're hungry," Sam said gently. "I'll go grab some food."

Dean handed him the car keys and he was off.

Castiel continued to stare at his hands. Dean pursed his lips, frowning.

"Are you okay?"

"No, Dean," he said quietly. "I am not 'okay'. I'm as far away from okay as you could possibly be. Dean sat down next to him, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Ya know, bein' human isn't that bad," he said, trying to sound optimistic.

"Not the way you make it sound," Castiel said bluntly. "'Sorry ass sons-a-bitches', right?" He looked at him expectantly. Dean was taken aback for a moment, trying not to laugh.

"Uh," he chuckled lightly. "Well, yeah, but…there's good stuff about being human too."

"Like what?" He asked, looking skeptical.

"Um…well…" He thought for a moment. "Love's good. Beer's really good. Sex is great. And free will has to be a plus, right?"

"What about hate?" Castiel whispered. "Murder, rape, anger, war disease and the urge to slaughter each other? Drugs, poverty, hunger corruption, tyranny. Aren't those products of humans as well?" Dean chuckled ruefully, looking at his hands for a moment.

"Cas, I understand how you feel, but-"

"How could you possibly?" He breathed, tears in his eyes as he looked at him angrily. "How could you even come close to understanding how I feel? I don't know how to be human, Dean. I don't know how to act, or how to do the things you do. I don't understand why you insist on hurting each other. I…I just don't understand, Dean. How can I be human if..?" He bowed his head, shaking it.

"Cas," Dean said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Cas, what happened to Jimmy?" Castiel flinched as if he had been struck. The sadness and confusion deepened in his face. His clasped hands clenched tighter, turning his knuckles white.

"I don't know," he said quietly. "I used to be able to sense his presence, but now…he's gone, Dean." The former angel's voice was shaking horribly. He was so lost and confused, and terrified.

"Let's just try and get through tonight, okay?" Dean said, squeezing his shoulder lightly. He nodded slowly. His stomach rumbled again.

"I wish that noise would stop," he grumped, placing a hand on the growling area. Dean chuckled lightly.

"It'll stop when Sam gets here with the food, okay?" He assured.

"Dean," Castiel whispered. "Dean, I…I'm scared."

"It'll be alright," Dean assured. "We'll figure this out, alright?" There was a low rumbling outside as the Impala pulled into a spot in front of the room. "Right now, let's eat."

Castiel was staring at the floor, no longer hungry. Instead a new discomfort had surfaced in his lower stomach, making him squirm lightly.

Sam and Dean were talking in hushed tones on the other side of the room, the noise of the T.V. drowning out their voices.

"When's Bobby supposed to get here?" Dean asked.

"He won't be here until morning," Sam sighed. Dean pursed his lips, finishing the beer that was in front of him.

"What are we gonna do?" He asked. "I mean, what the hell are we supposed to do with someone that never sleeps, hardly ever eats and doesn't know the first thing about human, well, anything?"

"Take everything really slow," Sam said. "I mean, we have to help him understand everything. We can't just let him guess."

"I know that," Dean snapped. "Jeeze, Sam, I'm not totally heartless."

Sam looked at Castiel and a slow smile crept across his face.

"Good, then you can tell him what's wrong with him right now." Dean turned and saw Castiel's frown and his uncomfortable squirming. He looked at Sam, eyes wide, shaking his head.

"Oh hell no. There is no way I'm doin' that," he said firmly.

"Well there is an alternative," Sam smirked. Dean grimaced.

"Aw, man, do I have to?" He whined.

"Sam, Dean," Castiel grunted. "I think something's wrong." Dean sighed and shook his head.

"No, Cas," he sighed. "Nothing's wrong. You gotta piss."

I didn't really care for going to the bathroom. It wasn't the most comfortable of tasks. My eyes felt heavy, my body weary. I didn't understand why. I didn't know how to make the feeling go away. I let my eyes close for a moment, but my head lolled forward and startled me.

"Cas, are you alright?" Dean asked. I shook my head. I opened my mouth to speak, but, against my own will, I inhaled and exhaled, a long process that I couldn't stop once I started.

"What was that?!" I exclaimed, heart beating a little faster. Dean chuckled.

"Calm down, dude, it's a yawn," he assured. "It's normal."

"Why did I do that?" I asked, wanting to know immediately why this was happening to me.

"Because you're tired," Dean explained. "You need to sleep."

I looked at him, confused. He smiled sympathetically. "Well, first of all you're not gonna be comfortable in that," I looked down at my clothes. Dean handed me a small pile of clothes. "Go change in the bathroom, okay?" I nodded and stood, trying to stop my hands from shaking. I'm so scared. I have been since I understood my inability to transport myself where needed.

I went into the bathroom, frowning at the clothes. I'd never changed out of them. I wasn't all that sure what I was doing.

I shrugged off the trench coat on my shoulders, already feeling strange. I took a breath and continued taking off the clothes.

It took me a moment to realize that the sweat pants would go on much easier if I took my shoes off. I had to admit, those and the cotton gray shirt was much more comfortable than the suit.

I came out of the bathroom, feeling very, very strange and somehow out of place. I sat down on the bed I had been on, holding myself close together.

"You need to get to sleep, Cas," Dean said. I shook my head.

"I don't know how," I mumbled.

"Just lie down and shut your eyes," he goaded. "It'll happen soon, okay?"

I did as Dean asked. I mimicked what I had seen other humans on TV do. I put my head on the pillow and draped the blankets over me. I shut my eyes, just as Dean had told me.

"It'll be alright, Cas," Dean assured behind me. "Just shut your eyes."

I wasn't sure what I was waiting for. But at some point in the night, my eyes didn't open and I slipped into oblivion.

--Thank you!--