James had always been jealous of the close bond that Remus had with Lily. But he was even more jealous of the relationship that Lily shared with Severus Snape. That was the real reason that James picked on Severus. James simply couldn't understand why Lily would be friends with such utter scum. The notion of it seemed wrong to James and so he retaliated in the only way he knew. When James heard Severus call Lily a 'mudblood' he was secretly and disturbingly overjoyed. The look on Lily's face had said it all: the friendship between her and Snape was over.

"She hates him! Can you believe it? Lily hates Snape!" James was dancing around the fifth years boy's dormitories, arms raised and singing 'Lily hates Snape' in rather annoying sing-song voice. Peter had long ago given up and put a muffling charm on his bed's curtains and gone to sleep. Sirius was lying in his bed holding a pillow over his head in an attempt to block James out. And Remus was sitting very calmly in his bed watching James and smiling.

"Doesn't mean that she likes you now though." Remus said happily. James came to an abrupt standstill and turned on Remus.

"Why do you gotta ruin it for me, Moony?"

"Because it's more fun than hearing you sing."

"You're not wrong." Sirius chipped in. James surveyed the two of them and promptly left them.

"Where do you think he's off to?"

"Not a clue."

***

James, dressed in nothing but boxer shorts and a white muscle shirt, went downstairs to the common room. The fire was almost out and it cast an orange glow on the room. James thought that room was deserted when he heard a faint sniffle. Intrigued, James moved closer to the lounge to find Lily sitting on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest and her forehead resting on her bare knees. Lily was only wearing a night dress and James had to concentrate very hard to focus on Lily's head rather than her legs. James sat down on the floor beside Lily.

"Lily? You okay?"

Lily looked up at him and very quickly wiped away her tears. "Course I am. Just had something in my eye. That's all. No big deal or anything."

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" James cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Could you? Please, just pretend that's the honest to God truth and leave me be?"

"I hate to say it, Lil, but no. I can't do that." Lily sighed and turned her head away from him. James tried to think of what Remus would do in the same situation and then realised that he should do what came naturally and so he very gently placed a hand on Lily's arm.

"I'm sorry, Lily."

"Sorry? You're sorry?" Lily brushed James arm off hers and stood up. James stood as well just so that he wouldn't be looking up at her. "What are you sorry for, Potter, I wonder? Are you sorry that you're a prick? Are you sorry for… for… living? What are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry about what happened today." James was silent as Lily froze and her lips formed a tight line. "I'm sorry that someone you considered a friend would call you that, or call you a nasty name at all. I'm sorry that…"

"You were right." Lily said it so softly that James almost missed it entirely.

"What?"

"You were right," Lily spoke louder this time. "About Severus. Everyone was right. You told me that I would regret being friends with him and you were right. I do regret it. He's a… a… slimy git. A bastard and I… I pretended he wasn't. I knew the whole time that he was pals with aspiring Death Eaters but I pretended that he was different. That he hung out with them so that they would leave him alone. But the whole time I was wrong, and stupid, and naive. I didn't see what everyone kept telling me. I refused to acknowledge that you least of all was right."

"Lily, I…"

"Shut up, Potter. Please. Just leave me alone." Lily turned her back on him and James had no choice but to walk away.

***

James re-entered the dormitory and sat down heavily on his bed. Sirius, who had fallen asleep, sat bolt upright and looked at James blearily.

"You back then are ya?"

"She hates me."

"Who hates you?"

"Lily, you twit." James threw his pillow at Sirius, which, of course, woke him up properly.

"Oh, right," Sirius threw James' pillow back at him. "How do you know that for sure?"

"Cause she's downstairs."

"And?"

"And she's mad at me because I was right about Snape being a slimy git." James sighed and lay down on his bed.

"Well, at least she now agrees with you on something. That's a start."

"No, it isn't. She still hates me, Padfoot. That's not likely to change any time soon either. Course I'm glad that she knows Snape's a git but I wish that she hadn't found out like she did."

"Would you have preferred she found out when he killed someone she knew?"

"No, don't be stupid. I would have preferred her to just see the mark on his arm, if it's there yet. I didn't want her to find out cause he called her a… you know."

"I know, mate. But there's not much you can do about it now."

"It's going to get worse for her. Whenever she hears about the death of someone she cares for she'll wonder if the git knew, if the git did it, or if he was there and could've prevented it. It's going to kill her. Not knowing if Snape had something to do with it." James fell silent and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm never going to let her feel like this again. I won't let anyone hurt her, Padfoot. I can't."

Sirius watched his friend with a troubled expression. He was wondering just how far James would go to protect Lily.