Edward's secretly the hot-as-hell-let-me-marry-you-and-bear-your-children-please type of guy. He and Bella have been best friends since….forever! But what happens when guys start to notice Bella? Edward decides to show just how hot he is!

Get Your Own Hot Geek

Chapter 4: Bespectacled No More (Edward's Point of View)

"ALICE SOME TIME BEFORE SUNSET PLEASE," I shouted, "Bella's been waiting for us for more than five minutes now!"

Today's D-day. Or rather, M-day. No, not menstrual day - dear God no. Make over day number 1. And here I am, by our front door, waiting for my sister who takes 1902877645324 to get ready to go out.

Times like these I'm happy I'm not a girl.

But then again my Bella isn't like this… I guess I'm glad I'm just not Alice then.

"SHEESH HOLD YOUR HORSES EDDIE!" She shrieked back, while walking down our staircase. She stopped right in front of me to er, "assess the work that had to be done" and looked smug.

"…what?" I asked, irritated.

"Oh… nothing," she replied.

"No seriously, what?! Is there something on my face?! Tell me! Bella's going to see!" I panicked.

"Oh god…" said Alice as she doubled over in laughter, "you've got it SO bad! First you go crazy about Bella waiting for just five minutes already, then you worry about how you'll look in front of her!!!"

I rolled my eyes. "Tell me something I don't know, Alice."

"Wait till Emmett hears about this…" Alice muttered as she was checking her purse for anything she might have forgotten. I swear she could fit a house in there. She then looked me up and down. "Kay, all set…. No wait, hang on. Hand them over, Cullen."

"You're a Cullen too," I muttered, then continued, "err, ok, hand what over? And are Emmett and Rose meeting up with us…?" I asked, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"One thing at a time! First, your glasses," I then put my reading glasses in her hand. "Second, yes - they said something like 'aww widdle Eddie's all grown up!' and didn't want to miss this 'auspicious event'. Sorry, I kind of slipped he-he-he."

"Oh GREAT… invite the whole of Forks, why don't you," I sighed. "Come to think of it- why is Bella coming too?"

Alice cocked her head to her left. "What, you don't want her to see? Wasn't this for her anyway?"

My eyes went wide open. "OF COURSE I WANT TO SEE HER! Don't let her hear that! I always want to see her! 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!!! Anytime, anywhere!" I whispered back to her.

My sister quite possibly thinks it's her mission in life to tease me because she replied, "oooo you're such a perv, Edward!" in a rather loud voice. While we were already out the door. Where Bella could be seen. Oh god, had she heard?!

"ALICE!" I hissed to silence her. Fortunately, Bella only had a look of confusion on her face as she approached us.

Bella looked at me as if she was in a daze. It made me feel happy that I could always do that to her when I didn't wear my glasses. But her reaction today is similar to last night's for some reason - there was fear behind her eyes. I just didn't know what caused it.

I came up to her and gave her a quick hug. After all, that's what best friends do.

Stupid Edward.

"Morning, lov- ermm, Bella,"

BE STILL MY HEART, reacted Edward (my self self). AHHHHHHHH SLIP UP PANIC.

Edwick, one not to miss the opportune moments to give his two cents in, said, OHHH AHAHAHAAA nice save, Edward!!!!

Behind me, Alice gave me a quiet snort. Oh this little pixie-human is going to get it from me later if Bella heard that.

"Hi, Mr. Cullen," Bella, still in a small daze, beamed. I recall her telling me she liked how that sounded. I could only hope in her mind she also thought "Mrs. Isabella Marie Cullen" sounded just as good, if not better.

"HI BELLAWELLA!!!!" Said Alice as she grabbed Bella for a tight hug. And away from me. Grrr, is it bad I'm jealous of my own sister? Oh god, she's right… I do have it bad. But I knew that already.

Bella looked like she was drowning.

"Err… let her breathe, pixie," I warned my sister. When I was sure Bella couldn't see my facial reaction, I glared at Alice in what I hoped looked to be scary.

Alice poked her tongue out at me as she led us to her blindingly yellow Porsche Nine-Eleven. She got into the driver's seat and said, "OKAY. Rule 1: You, Eddie, sit in the back so you can't take the wheel from me and say no to any stores. Rule 2: You, Bella, keep Edward distracted and I won't shop for you… today."

To that, Bella tried to say something, but I accidentally cut her short. I… I couldn't help but growl. At Alice.

Bella was now distracted; beside me laughed lightly. "Did you just growl?!"

"Um, no…" I said.

Great going, Edward.

Haha, seriously - she must think you're such a freak now!

… shut up, Edwick.

"SO! Who's ready to SHOP?!?!" Alice asked as she sped down the freeway to Seattle.

"Ughh… me." I replied.

Bella was fidgeting a bit beside me, then said as if it was a question, "me… too?"

I turned to look at Bella at a speed that would have given me whiplash and asked, "What???"

What?!

THE FUCK???????????????

Alice seemed as surprised as I was, if not more. I was sure she was that close in stomping on the break, but thankfully she didn't. "OH MY GOOOOODDDDDDDDDD THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!! But not better than the day Jaz and I get married but oh my gosh it's a close SECOND oh my gosh oh my GOSH!!"

She then whipped out her phone and dialed at the speed of Vampire. "ROSE! CODE RED. YEAH? Okay! Bring out the special shoes! I'll tell you when we get there! Yes, Emmett gets Edward, OKAY. SEE YOU!!!" If there were an Olympic game for Speed Talking….

"Okay. Wait. Calm DOWN, Alice! Focus on driving. Bella, what are you talking about?" I asked, trying to hide my panic.

I get to see Bella dress up, I get to see Bella dreeeeeeeeesss up, tralalala.

You're not helping, ass wipe.

EDWARD, who taught you how to swear like a sailor?!

You. Now shut up and don't think about Bella inappropriately like that!

Inside my head, I saw an image of Edwick poke his tongue out at Edward. I think I should go talk to a psychiatrist now….

I blinked three times to snap out of it once again.

Her voice helped, too. "I actually came today to ask Alice if she could… give me… a make… over?" Bella stated in a questioning tone, once again.

"Oh dear…" I replied.

"Um. I could do it another day with Alice, if you want? I mean, I'm not in a hurry I-I-" Bella continued, worried.

"Oh! Of course not, no," I reassured her. "It's okay today. I just thought I'd go to Seattle and get this collection of CD's and they're only available there…" I looked at Alice through the mirrors, as if saying DON'T TELL HER ABOUT THE MAKE OVER. Alice looked like she understood because she nodded.

"Okay…" Bella said.

Half an hour into the drive, Bella fell asleep on my shoulder. At this point, my shock for what Bella asked Alice for subsided because I could feel thankful for Alice for making me sit in the back with her now. Ahh… to stay in this moment forever-

But of course happily ever after isn't here yet.

"YO WAKE UP, we're here!" Alice chirped.

Bella's eyes fluttered open. "Had a nice nap?" I asked her as I helped her out of the car, taking the time holding her hand. Her hand was still in mine as we entered the mall, as Alice led us into it.

As if dictated by Murphy's law, the start of the day went… um, not so desirably.

"Well lookie what we have here, Jessica" said an annoying voice that could only be described as valley girl.

Just about to exit the mall were none other than Lauren and Jessica themselves. Great.

"Hi, Bella," Jessica greeted Bella nicely enough, apparently not having noticed me yet. I couldn't place well enough if malice was in her voice, or if it was well hidden.

"Hey Swan, here to buy some class? Can you even AFFORD IT?" Lauren snorted laughing her question. Again, I wasn't noticed… that is until…

I cleared my throat. No way were they going to harass my Bella while I was there.

"Oooo… and you are?" Lauren asked, batting her eyelashes. Jessica did the same thing - trying to look, ahem, seductive. Both didn't fail to look like they were ill instead though.

Are you serious?

Dude… she doesn't recognize you!!!

You're me too, stupid. She doesn't recognize either of us, er, I mean me, without those glasses on… maybe this is a blessing in disguise…

Ohh, I like how you think, Edward my man.

I think this is the start of a beautiful partnership, oh conniving Edwick.

"Anthony. Anthony Masen. And you lovely ladies are…?" I smiled as I did for Bella. This seemed to do the trick. My adding fuel to their heads worked.

"Lauren Mallory, nice to meet you, and I'm sorry, what was your phone number again?" she replied. I hid a shudder to this.

I raised my eyebrow, still fake-grinning. "I didn't tell you… yet," I replied, then winked.

Beside me, I noticed Bella's eyes were as wide as saucers. Ugh. Stupid stupid Edwick and his plans. Ugh.

HEY YOU STARTED THIS NOT ME.

"-and I'm Jessica Stanley," said the other, not wanting to be left behind.

Bella started walking away at this point.

"Oh, sorry, it was nice meeting you and you…" I said, as I took both their hands and kissed them, dragging out this act. Gag.

"But I have to run for now, can't keep my friends waiting." I winked again, noticing them sigh dreamily after.

Dude, these girls are putty in your hands!!! Who knew you had it in you?!

I certainly didn't.

Yeah, must be ME. Woot.

Oh please.

"OH! Wait! Your number?!" Lauren called out.

"Maybe later, if I see two beautiful girls again." I replied.

Then Lauren's face flashed three expressions: confusion, anger, apathy. It took her about 5 seconds to understand what I had meant because Jessica leaned in to whisper to her, "he meant us, you doofus!"

"Oh!" Lauren replied happily. "Okay, bye!!!" I saw from my peripheral vision that Jessica rolled her eyes.

Yeah. OHHH.

Well gee, not only could I have a shot at outshining those two jocks… I might have an even better card at making sure Bella's safe from their clutches! Hah! All this only because I removed my glasses… I can't wait to finish this make over already… hahaha…

I caught up with Bella then. She looked absolutely horrified and pale, but before I could check up on her, Emmett had me in a head lock.

"HEY EDDIE!!!!!!! READ FOR YOUR-" I elbowed him in the gut right there.

"OUCH what was that for, you prissy PMS-ing girly boy?!" he asked.

And I whispered back, "Bella doesn't know about my make over and I would appreciate it if you don't tell the world so that she hears!"

"OH. Okay… coulda said so in the first place," he pouted while rubbing his stomach and turned to Rosalie.

"Hey Edward, what's up? What happened?" Rose asked, annoyed - it looked as if she wasn't just annoyed that I hurt her man.

"Oh, stuff," I said back, trying to sound innocent.

Rose raised her eyebrow at me. "Bella looks like she's about to cry. Do you want me to sock you in the face until you tell me why?"

I blinked twice. "She is… ? Wait, I want to check up on her."

Rose pursed her lips, still on reprimand-Edward-mode, "oh whatever, idiot. And no, you can't. Come with us and let's get your make over done with already. Alice said she'll handle Bella's. You can ask Bella what's wrong later,

"Ah… and, you should totally drop the glasses and get contacts instead," Rose added, "they make the green of your eyes pop out."

Bella, aka the reason for my existence, was the only one who knew that my glasses were only reading glasses. And now she was getting a make over as if making an offering of herself as a sacrifice to Forks High's plethora of horny, hormonal teenage guys.

Insert internal groan here.

AS IF MIKE AND TYLER WEREN'T ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM OF MINE ALREADY. GAHHHH. Bella will be taking the steak out of the packaging and holding it out in front of the wolves' noses, too!

I know right… your life sucks, man.

It's yours too.

You guys are ridiculous, said Ed, my third… alter… ego. He sounded like the calmest of us all. Oddly enough, it sounded like Jasper, who is in fact the calmest out of our group of friends.

Whoa, this place is getting CROWDED.

I think I'm getting a headache….

Author's notes:

I'm not sure if Alice's Porsche 911's recent models actually have four seats…. And I'm too lazy to find out. So for the sake of Get Your Own Hot Geek's plot, IT DOES YAY!!!!

AND I EDITED THIS JUST ONCE OK???

ONCE OVER! ONCE!

So sue me if I have typos/grammatical errors. Pfrt.