Author's note: EDWARD MASEN CULLEN. I'll stick to his whole name. Kay? Kay. I'll edit the mistake from chapter 1 soon lol
Edward's secretly the hot-as-hell-let-me-marry-you-and-bear-your-children-please type of guy. He and Bella have been best friends since….forever! But what happens when guys start to notice Bella? Edward decides to show just how hot he is!
Get Your Own Hot Geek
Chapter 5: Eyelash Curlers are Scary (Bella's Point of View)
"Bella…" Alice cried from outside my bathroom stall. "Please, please, please come out and talk to me?!"
I've been in this awful (and reeking - of what, I do not want to know) bathroom for the past 10 minutes crying my brains out. I tried to be quiet, but some sobs escaped and Alice had heard.
"Isabella Marie Swan if you don't get out of there in TWO MINUTES I'm getting Edward to drag you out! You're seriously worrying me!!!"
A new wave of pain hit my heart. Nooo, he can't see me like this! Especially not after what happened earlier! And God knows the stench in this place probably stuck to my clothes already! I bolted upright, opened the door and quickly made my way to the faucet. I tried to delay the inevitable - but it would happen, Alice would see just how much I cried.
"Oh, Bella! What happened?!" she asked, looking so worried.
I frowned.
"It's Edward, isn't it?! What did that idiot do this time?! I swear I can't believe I'm blood related to him sometimes!"
I could only nod, staring at my reflection in the mirror. "It's not his fault… I think. Maybe it's a misunderstanding. Maybe… yeah, definitely possibly-" I could only hope on the latter.
"Bella…. Definitely possibly isn't possible… but… ugh! Really. I mean, whatever he did… tell me though? Please?"
I inhaled deeply, trying to start explaining, but instantly regretting it - what the heck was with this bathroom?! GROSS. There was a huge battle between wanting to barf what I ate for three days due to the stench and more crying my brains out because of Edward. Both made me feel just as sick to my stomach.
Ughhh…
"O-okay… but first let's get out of here. Let's start with the make over, please?" I pleaded. I never thought the day would come when I would ask Alice that - without being threatened by a 4 inch Stiletto heel. Or eyelash curler.
Alice nodded and led me to Forever 21. She picked out random outfits before heading to the dressing rooms and promptly placing them in my arms.
I chose a dress and went out of the stall, showing Alice.
"Ready to talk about it?"
"Yeah…" I inhaled deeply, happy that I was already calm enough to tell Alice about the ordeal earlier with Lauren and Jessica. "EdwardandIbumpedintoJessicaandLaurenearlierandOHMYGODtheywereshamelesslyhittingonmybestfriendlikehewassomesortofAbercrombiemodelIMEANSUREhecouldbebutOHMYGODtheywereclingingontohimlikeLEECHESANDANDheflirtedrightbackplayingalong!!!HeintroducedhimselfasAnthonyM-m-m-masenhe'stiredofbeingfriendswithsomeoneasboringasmeIJUSTKNOWI-i-i-it," I stopped talking due to my vision getting blurry, as tears started to form, and I couldn't breathe.
I didn't like this side of myself - too self conscious and naïve. It only came out when it was anything about Edward came out.
("Edward and I bumped into Jessica and Lauren earlier and OH MY GOD they were shamelessly hitting on my best friend like he was some sort of Abercrombie model I MEAN SURE he could be but OH MY GOD they were clinging onto him like LEECHES AND AND he flirted right back playing along!!! He introduced himself as Anthony M-m-m-masen he's tired of being friends with someone as boring as me I JUST KNOW I-i-i-it,")
Alice stared at me for a minute with her jaw hanging open.
"It's a misunderstanding, Bella. He just doesn't know what the blasted faux leather he's doing," she said, after I closed her mouth with my palm.
"Misunderstanding my f-foot…" I replied, turning back to change into a different dress. I started sobbing while changing clothes, much to my disdain.
"Whoa, whoa, calm down Bella! The whole of Forever 21 can hear you!"
Alice was patting my back. She then took out her cellphone and dialed really, really, really fast. I wasn't sure if I really saw her dial or not.
"Hey Rose? Mmhmm," she tapped her orange colored fingernails on the wall as she said in the sweetest voice she could muster, "could you pinch Edward's shoulder REAL HARD for me pretty please? Yeah, no, not just that." She paused. I heard an almost audible "OW!" in the background. Of Alice's phone. In her ear. Outside the dressing room."Thanks. Not yet. Yeah, in 15 - food court all right? Yeah, thanks again, see you!" Alice smiled at me reassuringly.
Thankfully, I had calmed down significantly by this time. "Alice… aren't we going to continue shopping?"
"Yes we are, but I'm kind of hungry, and I want you to tell Rose what happened."
"Okay…" I said, as I attempted (keyword: attempted) to turn around and change back into my clothes.
But that didn't happen because Alice dragged me back. "No. Wear that."
I didn't really take notice of which dress I had tried on, but now that I took a good LOOK at it… "NOOO, Alice! This thing barely covers my soul, are you crazy?!"
She merely tilted her head to the left.
Alice seemed to be contemplating what I said. All right, not really - she jus tilted her head. "All righty, wear this underneath," she said as she handed me a denim micro(nano, really) mini-skirt. Oh God…
"Alice, what is this? A piece of denim swatch?" I asked incredulously.
"JUST PUT THEM ON!"
All right, Alice is scary.
On our way out of Forever 21, Alice had taken the liberty of removing the price tags and paid for the clothes I was wearing. I felt like I was going to a club.
Getting to the food court took a bit longer than expected, as 4 things happened in this order:
First phenomenon:
Some Egyptian guy selling massage oil (and other fancy stuff like incense) came up to us and offered about 10 million scents. And I, being the idiot (and pushover) that I am, couldn't say no, thank you properly - which led us to the first 5 minutes of our delay.
"What about this one? Freesia? This one smells divine, sure to relax-" Marcus, the sales guy, chirped. I didn't think he was gay, just happy - no pun intended.
"Um, no… really… we're relaxed enough!" Even Alice couldn't just outright refuse the guy. Sure, he wasn't cute - but he had charisma. Enough to make you feel bad if you had just refused him the second he looked at you.
No, wait, not refuse him him, but refuse what he was selling.
"Yeah, uh, bye," I tried to end the conversation.
Marcus' smile deflated a bit. "Awww… oh well, see you later… I guess…." His tone of voice made me slightly uncomfortable.
"He totally just wants to talk to you, Bells. Not sell you oil. Or…" Alice told me, once we were out of earshot.
"No… he was just doing his job, Alice! Besides, how would you know?!" I cut in
"Bella. He never once looked at me. He probably wants to rub oil on you, too. Yeah, uh-huh."
"Oh." I blushed crimson. "WAIT, WHAT?!"
Second phenomenon:
Alice squealed in delight, only to be cut short. She lives to tease me, this pixie. Anyway, something knocked into me, my face first - not hard, but enough to make me stagger - which I found out shortly was a tall guy. A really tall guy who looked to be Indian.
And I don't mean the Indian from that country in Asia. His skin was a smooth russet, had long thick eye lashes, and eyes that could only be described as onyx.
He was absolutely stunning. Not more than my Edward, that wasn't humanly possible. And I wasn't attracted to this person. His eyes met mine, instantly grinning and he apologized quickly. "I'm so sorry! Are you all right, miss…?"
"I'm all right, thank you…."
"Um, I, er, I'm kind of running away from paparazzi right now but what's your name and where can I contact you?"
"Uh.." I looked at Alice then back to him. "I'm Bella? Er… Forks… high school," telling him that; I wasn't planning on giving my number out to anyone.
"Cool, I'm Jacob." He smiled a toothy grin. "Oh crap! I gotta go! See you!"
He ran away, as a horde of people who… er, had cameras slung on their necks, arrived.
"Where did he go?!"
"What happened?!"
"DAMMIT MISSED HIM AGAIN!"
Weird paparazzi people are weird.
Recognition hit Alice after Jacob had left. "BELLA THAT WAS JACOB BLACK!"
"So?" I asked. I wasn't one for famous people - or much more, movies - so I never really knew about actors.
"HE'S FREAKING BEEN CALLED THE AMERICAN JAMES BOND, YOU DUMMY!"
"… okay?" I tried to sound supportive, I really did, but I wasn't fazed by him at all.
"Oh you are a hopeless case, Swan…" Alice sighed, as we once again, tried to work our way to the food court to meet up with everyone. What the heck was up with this day? "Guess I'll just tell Rose…"
Third phenomenon:
"Excuse-! Excuse me!" I turned around to see a man behind me who looked to be Chinese.
I was confused. "Yes? How may I help you…?"
"Can we having your autographs pleese???" It turns out he was part of a tour group. Why they were in this mall, I would never have a clue.
My jaw dropped open. "W-wha..wait.. sorry, uh… I'm sorry I'm not-"
"Po-lease?" the man pleaded, as others joined in, similarly pleading.
Similar to the Massage Oil incident earlier, I caved. Ugh. I gave them 10 autographed whatever they had on them I could sign and made me way back to Alice. She looked positively smug.
"Alice…" I hissed, asking incredulously, "you didn't help me!"
"What??" She asked innocently. "I couldn't just tell the sweet old man who is probably 10,000 miles away from his house in Beijing to sod off because you're not really a famous person even though you're hotter than Megan Fox!"
"But you're that gorgeous, I wish you would realize it." She added.
I sighed. Just when I thought the worst was over, another group of guys came over to me. Younger this time, and they looked like skaters. Not my type but the kids were adorable.
My beloved Alice just sat there, enjoying the entertainment - my embarrassment.
"We couldn't help but notice you from afar, Miss." Said the tallest, who looked no older than 13.
"…" I just nodded. "Sorry um… I have to go…?" I hated how weak I was.
"Yes, may we please have the honor of accompanying you around this shopping center?" said another, who looked to be the oldest.
"Oh, please do not feel obliged, we meant only to become friends with you, for you are such a beautiful woman."
"Please?" said the last boy.
I was shocked. What the heck, did the world suddenly turn upside down in the time span of me getting dressed in this thing you could barely call a dress and make pubertal teenage boys talk like… THIS?
"…"
My eyes were as wide as saucers.
Alice cleared her throat. "All right, enough fun for me. And you boys - just give her your numbers, and we'll see!" she smiled.
So here I am, holding 4 pieces of paper with cell phone numbers of boys …from middle school who talked strangely (for their age), one bottle of Freesia scented massage oil (MARCUS GAVE IT TO ME FOR FREE, what the heck??), and er… met an actor I didn't know was a really famous one.
I sighed.
We reached the fast food court, and I didn't notice time go by as I contemplated the stuff that just happened… so I wasn't particularly paying attention to Alice to notice that she had been trying to get MINE for the past I don't know how many minutes.
Alice became impatient, as her attempts to snap me out of my reverie hadn't succeeded. At all. That is until she pinched me in the forearm. HARD.
With an eyelash curler!
"OW! ALICE WHAT IN GOD'S NAM-" Stupid pinching pixies! I tried to yell at her, but something caught my eye as I turned to make me freeze on the spot.
"-e."
" Oh." I continued, anger disintegrated just like that.
Edward.
I stared for 2 seconds. Raked my eyes up then down his body. Lingered on his perfect red lips for a bit. Noticed his perfectly gorgeous tousled hair… and then… DING. Mind to gutter. Did you hear it splutter? Haha I rhymed, I mused to myself for a split second.
Post-sex hair.
…
Insert internal groan here. It should be illegal to be that attractive, I thought to myself.
Oh, and then I gasped. Out loud, might I add. Apparently, my mind decided to join the party of Consciousness In The Now. It kinda lagged earlier (had to restart due to Edward McSexiness Cullen and his Sex Hair). I never thought myself to be one of those girls who actually did that… in real life. You know, the ones that go: "gasp!" Or much more, do it audibly.
Aw, man.
"I- uh- that- well," I whispered. Great going, Ms. I-want-to-major-in-English-in-college, I thought as I mentally kicked myself. Eloquence must be going out of style in my book.
Edward, spectacleless, clad in a long sleeved form fitting shirt which was DARKK blue(EMPHASIZING HIS PERFECT - perfect(!) - Pecs!!!), stood there looking at me.
With his mouth open. Then he gulped… noticeably. His eyes were so intense. Oi…
Why is he looking at me like that? Ugh… so confusing. He put his tray of food down at the table beside Jasper, and edged closer to me. I became more self conscious of the way I dressed, so…
I looked away and saw Rose.
"Took you guys long enough, we already have our food!" Rosalie said.
Alice giggled. "Sorry, but I couldn't very well stop the Chinese tourists earlier from asking Bella for her autograph!"
I saw Edward from the corner of my eye grimace. Was I that unattractive in his eyes? I struggled as I tried to suppress the negative things down my throat; no way was I going to cry.
Rosalie squealed to this, obviously entertained. That was my cue to leave.
"Oh you haven't heard the best of it!!! There was this group of Chinese guys… oh my God. They asked Bella for her autograph! And that creepy Egyptian oil sales person who looked like he wanted to massage Bella himself! OH AND THE BEST PART OF ALL! We met JACOB BLACK" Rose squealed to this. "Who also wanted to ask for her number!!!!" Alice continued, giggling hysterically, and squealing along with Rose.. Great, yeah, thanks, Ali.
I think... I heard Edward growl. I then remembered he was there. Again. Not that I forgot or anything.
"I'm gonna go get fries!" Turning around (and away from Edward. His stare was a bit too intense) to avoid potential awkward situation with him, I almost ran to McDonald's. I needed do get away. I wasn't quite ready to see Edward yet, even if I wanted to see if he was affected by the guys who noticed me earlier. Curiosity didn't kill the cat in my case.
But what I didn't expect was for him to chase me as I was on my way to the counter to order my fries. He took my left wrist, turned me around gently and put his jacket on my shoulders. Did he also not want me to be so exposed like this?
He then leaned in closer and whispered in my ears, "I'll buy fries with you." I felt myself blush to a dangerous red. Why?! HIS LIPS BRUSHED LIGHTLY ON MY EARS. I think Edward's trying to kill me. Oh God.
"O-okay." I said, turning back to the direction of McDonald's. Yeah, and I also totally felt his hand on the small of my back, too. Yeah. Under his coat on my shoul-d-d-der.
MEEEP.
And I totally noticed that more than half of the female population in the food court had their eyes fixed on Edward. And some guys, too.
AAAAHHHHH------- if it wasn't for his… voice, I would've been self conscious standing beside him.
"I'll buy fries with you." He even made that sound… devilishly delicious. Bet if I made him read even… uh, a how to use a blender manual, I'd still think his voice was eargasmic.
Sigh.
Dangnabbit….
Panic ATTACK.
Back to earlier… in Forever 21's dressing room, in Jessica and Lauren's Point of View:
"Did you just hear THAT?" Jessica whispered from the other stall, adjacent to where Alice and Bella were.
"I'm not deaf, of course I heard, you idiot!" Lauren hissed just as quietly. "They're having a sale!"
"NOT THAT!" Sheesh she really IS an idiot! Jessica thought bitterly of her "best friend".
Lauren was annoyed and confused. "WHAT THEN?!"
"Anthony Masen is that geek who hangs around Bella! That Edwin! I think!" Jessica grinned with a plan.
"Oh my god…"
"Yeah… oh my goddd…"
Still grinning evilly, Jessica continued, "This is going to be GOOD."
And in Edwick's point of view:
Dude, Edward, I just felt a chill go down my spine.
Edward: Me too, man. Weird.
Ed: Same, guys.
This is scaring me, man!
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Author's note:
WHEEE AND JACOB APPEARS! LAWL~
ANYWAYS!
LOL I KNOW I UPDATE EVERY 2 YEARS OR SO.
I know.
But I made up for it here, see? I made it EXTRA SUPER MEGA LONG! Anyway…
OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO…. Poor Bella!!! What the hell are these two thinking?!
Oh, is it me or is writing things in Edward's POV funner than this?! I swear. So much more funnererer than Bella's. Something ain't right… Imma fix that, yo…
(Can you tell my writing style here is SO different? I mean, compared to how I am without the formalities of writing Harharhar)
So yeah…. poor me! You guys must want to chase me around with pitch forks and run me out of the village for not updating for so long, huh?!?!