It's All The Same

Sequel to the "I don't want to be in Love"

A Four Brothers Fan Fiction

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Anything from Four Brothers.

Author Note: One again, thanks to everyone still reading, reviewing, adding to favorites, or putting it as an alert. Thanks a bunch. Enjoy!

Chapter 4:

A couple hours had past since me and Ashley's conversation and I decided to take a shower. I soaked in the shower for awhile to think things out. Did I truly mean what I said or was I just telling Ashley what she wanted to hear? I did love Jack, but in a best friend way. I didn't think of it as ever meaning more than just my best friend. I dried myself off and changed back into my pajamas. I heard the door open and close downstairs and hoped that it was Jack and his brothers. As I turned from the bathroom door to head towards the stairs, I bumped into Jack. "Sorry." We both mumbled at the same time. "You alright?" I asked and he just nodded. "We got them." He said softly. He seemed a bit shaken up. I took him into my arms and I felt his arms wrap around my middle.

My fingers tangled into his hair as he stayed in my arms. I let him go at the same times as he was moving away and he sighed. "I think I'm going to get some sleep." Jack said. "I think I'm going to also." I said and headed towards "my" room. I figured it would be better to not sleep in his room tonight. "Night Jackie." I said as I walked away. "Night Ray." Jack replied before shutting his door.

Sleep didn't come easy that night. My mind was mixed with so many thoughts, my feelings for Jack and whether I should truly be here. I got up and went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I returned to my bed after taking a few sips and put the class on the nightstand beside me. I sighed as I saw the clock say 1:34 a.m. I flipped over onto my side and closed my eyes, praying that I would get some sleep tonight. The sound of the door creaking made me sit up slightly and turn my head to the door. "Rayanne?" Jack said softly. I sat up completely and flicked on the lamp beside me. "Jack?" I asked. I could see beads of sweat drip down his forehead. He stayed quiet and sat down beside me. His eyes turned to a darker shade of blue as they became moister. I pulled him into my arms and his whole body was warm and shaky. His skin was very clammy from the sweat. "Hold on a sec ok?" I asked softly and he nodded.

I got up from where I sat and went into the bathroom. I soaked a cloth and squeezed it out so it wouldn't drip everywhere. I went back to where Jack was and sat in my same spot. He closed his eyes and held them tightly shut. I wiped down his face gently and then his neck. His eyes opened and connected with mine. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't about to ask if he was ok because that was a stupid question. I put the rag on the nightstand and grabbed my glass of water. "Drink some." I said and he took a few sips. "Do you want to stay in here?" I asked and he looked at me with soft eyes and nodded. "Yeah." He replied huskily. I moved so he could get under the covers too and have room. He stared up at the ceiling as he lay on his back silently.

I moved closer to him and he looked down at me slightly as I snuggled into his side. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I laid my head on his shoulder and my hand on his bare chest. "You want to talk about it?" I asked. He remained silent for a moment. "It was just kind of like flashbacks. My first time coming here to Ma, growing up here, being in L.A. and hearing mom was murdered, watching the tape in the store, and then…" He stopped and paused to swallow before continuing. "Reliving what happened tonight… I don't know." Jack said. I looked up at him and saw the pain in his eyes.

"Do you get nightmares a lot?" I asked. "Just about as much as you get Anxiety Attacks." He said and laughed for a bit. I couldn't help but smile and laugh a bit. I snuggled up to him more and thought about what Ashley said. "You just don't want to admit it to yourself that you're in love with your best friend because you're afraid if you tell him you love him, he will stop talking to you. That is completely ridiculous because I know he likes you." I thought about that for awhile. Was she right? Was I so completely blind by trying to protect myself and going into my protective shell because of my bad past relationships. Was I so scared that I would lose Jack that in order to keep him near I would refuse any feelings more than him being my best friend?

"What are you think about so hard?" He asked and laughed a bit. "What?" I asked foolishly. "When you are really thinking hard about something you bite the side of your bottom lip. Plus you just zone out on me." Jack chuckled. It amazed me how well Jack knew me. Maybe Jack was exactly what I needed. Maybe I needed someone who was just like me. Who knew me front and back. Someone who has been through the same things and would always understand. Maybe it was what Jack wanted to. Maybe… Just maybe he would want me in return.

"Just something Ashley said to me today on the phone." I said and readjusted my head to get comfy again. Jack nodded. I knew he wanted to know more, but he wouldn't push me into talking about it unless he knew I seriously needed to get it off my chest. Was it the right moment to tell Jack how I felt? Jack moved his free hand and intertwined our fingers. "You really have no idea how much you help me through Rayanne, and not just through this. Even when we were in L.A. you helped me. I don't know what I would do if you were just gone one day." Jack said with so much genuineness it almost brought tears into my eyes.

I would be lost without Jack too. I knew that I needed to tell him how I felt before I lost him. For one day something could happen and I might not get the chance to tell him…

"Jack…" I said softly. "Yeah?" He replied. "I can't live without you." I said and he looked into my eyes. He didn't reply, just waited to see if there was something else. I sat up and continued. "If anything ever happened to you… I wouldn't be able to stand it Jack. You have no idea how much you mean to me. Ashley always tried to get me to open my eyes to how I feel about you but I would always tell her she was wrong. I told her I wasn't in love with you and that I could never see you in that way." "Why are you telling me this?" Jack asked kind of hurt as he sat up. "Jack, all the things I have been telling her, every time I told her I didn't have feelings for you, every time I told her I only liked you as my best friend, it was to push away what I really felt. Jack, I love you, but I was afraid, I still am afraid. I'm afraid that it would end up like my past relationships… like both of ours, and I couldn't stand if we lost the friendship and connection between each other. I couldn't…" I stopped as I felt a tear go down my cheek. Why was I crying? I was thinking of the possibility of never having Jack in my life again and that hurt the most…

"Ray…" Jack smiled a bit as he chuckled when he wiped away the tear. His hand remained on my face as he smiled. "You're talking crazy." He said and I looked at him with confused eyes as he smiled at me. "I'd never leave you, regardless of how you felt." He said softly. "I have to know Jack. Should I bother to try?" I asked and he looked into my eyes. "Will there ever be anything more between us?" I asked lower than a whisper. He turned off the lamp, laid down on his back again and pulled me down with him. I laid back on my side snuggling into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me so we could go back to how we were before. The silence was torture. "Ray, all that I know is that for as long as I live, I'm always going to love you." He said and I waited as he paused. "There will always be something between us… but I don't want to promise something and have something screw it up." Jack said trying to word everything right.

"Do you want to be with me?" I asked. I knew I should have stopped asking questions, but I just poured my heart out to him and I needed to know what was going through his mind. "You should know the answer to that." He said laughing softly. I turned onto my stomach and propped myself up onto my elbows and forearms. "So then lets forget what the future holds and focus on now." I said and he looked at me. His eyes glistened in the moonlight. "Maybe I'm just as afraid about losing you, as you are about me. I don't want things to go wrong between us either." He said and I felt I was growing an even closer bond with Jack. I wanted so much to be with him. To have him apart of my world and for me to be in his, but was it worth the risk on both of our part. Was it worth the possibility of maybe there being a chance that it doesn't work out and lose one of the few true friends I actually have?