The day of James and Lily's wedding dawned bright and clear. The sun was out, the sky was blue and the birds were singing. The day was, for lack of a better word, perfect. It seemed that nothing could possibly go wrong. The ceremony was being held in a small yet beautiful church (as a Muggle ceremony) and the reception was being held in the backyard of the Potter's household, where there was every chance of magic and lots of it. Everyone had been warned that would be quite a few Muggles there and people would have to be careful with their magic. Lily had insisted, for her parent's sake, that the at least the ceremony be a traditional Muggle occasion. Not to mention, Lily had always wanted the big white wedding. The white dress, the flowers, the church, the whole she-bang. But, of course, it wasn't going to end up like that. Nothing was ever that easy. Petunia wasn't going to be there, Severus wasn't going to be there, the bride and groom were both exceptionally nervous and their friends weren't much better. Lily was holed up in a room in the church, counting down the minutes until she walked down the aisle. James was in the same position, just in a different room.

Lily was sitting in a chair, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She was wearing only a white slip and was being forced to relax while her hair was being done. Lily's make-up was already finished and Lily was glad that her mother had done it. The make-up was very natural and minimal. Her hair was going to be much the same hopefully. Lily's only condition was that most of her hair was left down. James liked her hair out. And so it was going to be out.

Lily was looking into her own eyes. She could see the various greens floating around and she could see the depth in them. James was always telling her that her eyes had so much depth that he sometimes got lost looking into them. Lily was beginning to feel like that. Staring into her own eyes, Lily was losing herself. Her mind was beginning to wander. Her thoughts turned from her beautiful James, to her wounded Remus, to her juvenile Sirius, her delirious Petunia, her incredible parents, her hilarious Alice, her brilliant Mary, her awesome Julie, the war, the death, the destruction, Lord Voldemort. All these things and more went through Lily's mind as she sat staring into her own eyes. She couldn't escape her own thoughts. And she didn't want to.

...

Down the hall, James sat in a chair staring out the window. Like Lily, thoughts were racing through his mind. And many of them were about the same thing. His soon-to-be wife, his friends, his family, the war, Voldemort. Every thought that James had ever had seemed to be repeating itself, over and over again. James hadn't blinked for a while and his hazel eyes were beginning to dry out. Sirius, Remus and Peter had, of course, noticed that their friend was off in another world. They weren't worried but they still kept an eye on him. Just in case. James didn't notice them watching him. It was as though he was in a deep sleep. His mind was playing tricks on him.

Outside, James could see an eleven year old Lily Evans telling an equally young James to leave her alone. The eleven year old James wouldn't do it. He kept bugging her until finally she was the one to walk away. Suddenly, it was two twelve year olds and they were fighting again. This time there was an audience. People were watching them, most of them in awe that the two twelve year olds could fight in such a way. In this fight, James was the one to walk away, but not until he had called Lily a 'dirty, rotten, know-it-all nothing'. James could remember that fight. Lily hadn't even looked at him for three months. The image changed and there were two thirteen year olds having a fight. The fight didn't end well. That had been the first time that Lily slapped James. It had hurt for hours afterwards. James had never forgotten that slap and he never would. Next they were fourteen and James had finally told Lily that he thought she was extremely pretty. The fourteen year old Lily stared at James for a second before whispering a thank you and disappearing around the corner. Fifteen years old and James heard Lily swear for the first time when she told him to 'piss off'. James had actually laughed at her, which had earned him another slap. Sixteen and James asked her out. Seventeen and Lily finally went out with him. Eighteen and they were engaged. Today they were getting married.

James was shaken from his thoughts by Remus who had brought tea. James gladly accepted the cup and held it tightly in his hands to warm them. He looked back out the window and was transported back to the day they had all gone to a park so that they could celebrate their graduation. The leaves had been falling off the trees and James and Lily had danced amongst the falling leaves. Remus had taken a photo of them and it had become James' favourite photo of the two of them. There were lots of photos of them but the one of them dancing amidst falling leaves was his favourite because it was a spontaneous picture and it was natural.

"Remus, can you..."

"I'll be back soon." Remus smiled at him and went to check on Lily.

...

A knock on the door finally awoke Lily from her thoughts and was incredibly happy when her Remus walked through the door. Lily jumped to her feet and straight into his arms. Lily felt so safe in his arms, though Remus had never understood that.

"Lils?" Remus spoke quietly, guessing that Lily had been putting on a happy front all morning.

"Remy." Lily's voice was even softer than Remus' had been. Remus held onto her even more tightly and looked pleadingly at Alice who took the hint and emptied the room of everyone, including herself. Remus got Lily to sit down on the lounge. Remus kept one arm around Lily's shoulder and held Lily's hands with the other.

"Everything okay, Lil?"

"No," Lily sniffed. "I mean, yes, of course. I'm fine." Remus looked Lily in the eye and cocked an eyebrow. "Okay, I'm not okay. I'm terrible."

"Is it about Petunia?"

"Hmm? Oh, no."

"Do you still want to marry James?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then I'm lost. What's wrong, Lil?"

"May I ask you something first?" Lily asked softly. Remus inclined his head and smiled gently at her. "How do you do it?

"Do what exactly?"

"Not give in to all the crap out there. There's so many people who think such nasty things about you but you don't seem to be affected by it. How do you not give in to what people expect you to do and be?"

Remus was silent for a minute, considering both his answer and Lily. "It's not easy and it does affect me. I've just gotten so used to it over the years and I've managed to find ways of coping. Mainly, though, my coping techniques centre around James and Sirius and you and Pete. I don't give in to people's expectations because I have something to hold onto. Every time I hear some kind of criticism I think of you guys and I know that I have a chance in this world. It's not a good chance but I have reasons to keep my chin up. And anyway, you guys wouldn't let me succumb to the crap. Like I said it's not easy but I have ways. That's all. Lily, why'd you ask? In all the years that I've known you, you've never once asked me that. You've always told me that I'm better than the expectations. You made me believe that and know you're asking me why. I don't get it, Lil. What's going on?"

"I don't know, Remy. I'm just scared. Not about the wedding but about the war. I know it isn't easy for any of us but I worry about you the most and..."

"Lily, you're lying to me. Just tell me what's really going on."

Lily sighed. "I'm sorry. I got a letter this morning." Lily stood and retrieved a letter from her over-night bag. She sat back down next to Remus and held it out to him. "It's from Severus."

Remus took the letter and glanced at Lily. Her emerald green eyes were on the envelope. She stared at it for a minute before getting up and sitting back down in front of the mirror.

...

Dear Lily,

I realise that today probably isn't the best day to be sending this but I make no apologies. If I don't do it now then I never will and I don't want to have gone through my entire life without writing and sending this letter. I want you to have all the information before you make any big decisions, such as getting married.

Firstly, I want to apologise, yet again, for what I said to you all those years ago after the Defence OWL exam. I said it in the heat of the moment and if I could take it back, believe me I would do it in a second. Unfortunately I can't take it back and for so long as I live I will regret that day. I will be eternally sorry for that and I truly understand your reaction when I called you that. I know that you never liked the term and for me to say to you was the biggest betrayal to you. I understand that and I am sorry.

Secondly, (and this won't be new) I don't think you should marry Potter. For years, you told me over and over again that he was an arrogant toe-rag and that you would never date him, let alone marry him. I don't understand what happened. You hated him and then you come back for seventh year and all of a sudden your madly in love with him. The Lily I knew would never have given him the time of day. And today, you're going to marry him. Lily, I'm sorry, but you shouldn't marry him. Not when you hated him for so long.

Lily, you and me were best friends for years and one word brings it all crashing down? That's the biggest thing that I just don't understand. One word, Lily. I know you hate the word, especially when it came from me, but it's a word. It's not as though I cursed you. I made a mistake and you're killing me because of it. I miss you, Lily. I miss the way we used to talk for hours on end about nothing. I miss everything that we had. How could you give that all up because of a single word? You have no idea what you've done to me, what you've forced me to do. I don't want to do it but you've made me. You've given me no other option. I just hope that we never met on the field, as it were. I don't know what I'd do if we did. We'd have to fight, Lily, and I don't want to fight you, ever. It's not something I've ever wanted to do. You're a good witch, Lily, better than anyone I've ever met. You're the best witch that I will ever meet. I have no doubt about that.

Lily, I have been in love with you for longer than Potter. I have always loved you and I have never toyed with your emotions. And I never will. Lily, you marry me and I can protect you from everyone who wants to harm you. And there are a lot of them, seeing as you are a Muggle born. I mean no offence to Potter, but he can't possibly hope to protect you from everything and everyone that's wants to see you dead. I, on the other hand, can and will.

Please see sense, Lily.

Severus

...

Remus finished reading the letter and put it down on the table. Lily came back to the lounge but wouldn't meet Remus' gaze.

"Lily?" Remus put his hand on Lily's and she looked up at him. "It wasn't exactly a very polite letter, was it?"

"No, it wasn't." Lily managed a small laugh. "He blames me for him joining them, Remy. How can he do that? How can he even come to that conclusion?"

"I have no idea. But I don't think you should dwell on that."

"How can I not? It's all I've been able to think about since I got it. I can't even think about James. Not after what Sev wrote in that damned letter."

"Lily, you love James, right?" Lily nodded. "That what does the opinion of anyone else matter? It doesn't. All that matters is that the two of you love each other. And if James ever reads this letter I don't think it'll go down well."

Lily laughed. "I don't think he'll react well, either. He's right, though. Severus, I mean. I hated James for years and now I'm going to marry him. It's not logical. How can someone go from hating a person to loving them?"

"I've never experienced it, so I wouldn't know."

"Oh, Remy." Lily threw her arms around Remus' neck and hugged him tightly. "I hope you only experience the love bit. The hate part isn't nice." Lily let go of Remus but kept her hands resting on his shoulders. "You deserve so much, Remy. And one day you will find someone who will love you for everything you are, even the bits that not many others seem to like. But until then, you have me and James and Sirius and Peter and Alice and Frank and Julie and Mary and my parents and James' parents. You have so many people who love and worry about you. We won't ever let you do anything stupid. We'll always be there to make sure that you're okay."

"Thanks, Lil. I know, believe me, I know. If I haven't scared you lot away by now I think I'll be stuck with you until I die. Or until I do something really, really, really bad. If you ever let me."

"We won't. What am I going to do?"

"About Severus?" Remus asked. Lily nodded without meeting her friend's eyes. "I don't know, Lil. It's up to you. Just don't let James, or anyone else know." Lily nodded again. "I suppose I should let them finish doing your hair." Remus went to stand up but Lily stopped him.

"They have finished. I just have to put my dress on and you said that you knew a way to make it fit."

"Very true." Remus went to get the girls back while Lily re-hid the letter. When Alice, Mary and Julie came back they helped Lily into her dress and began to zip it up slowly. Lily's body was relaxed and the girls got the zipper to do up all the way without any magic or problems. Lily let out a sigh of relief and turned to face Remus.

"What do you think?" Lily's dress was strapless, floor length, and simple.

"I think you look beautiful and James will love it." Remus kissed Lily's cheek and left the room.

…

"How is she?" Remus was greeted by the question before he had actually entered the room.

"She's fine, Prongs. A little nervous but fine. And she looks amazing." Remus smiled as James sank into a chair with a goofy grin on his face.

"He looks like he's gonna be sick." Peter muttered to Sirius who laughed loudly.

"He does actually. Come on, mate, time for us to wait out there for the bride." Sirius pulled James to his feet and clapped him on the back. "Relax, Prongsie, everything will be just fine. You'll see." James nodded dumbly and followed his friends out into the church. The four of them stood at the end of the aisle, next to the priest. Everyone could see James' nerves and everyone felt sorry for him, knowing that he was hoping Lily wouldn't change her mind and run. Sirius, Remus and Peter were trying to get him to relax but he refused. Not even his and Lily's parents could get him to relax.

…

Lily stood in the room alone, looking at her reflection. Lily pulled the lace veil down over her face and smiled at herself. She was marrying James Potter. She could barely believe it. Severus was right. It didn't make sense. How could she marry someone that she had hated? Simple, she thought, people change. And James had changed and she'd fallen in love with him. There was a soft knock on the door and Jack, Lily's father, came in.

"Oh, Lily, you look beautiful."

"Do you really think so, Daddy?"

Jack stepped forward and kissed his youngest daughter's forehead. "Absolutely, and I'm not just saying it. You ready to go? James is losing his mind out there."

Lily looked at herself in the mirror again. Her green eyes were sparkling.

"I'm ready."