21

So Help Me God

Castiel's sleep was fitful and full of nightmares. He woke up screaming once, clinging to Annabelle as tightly as he could.

"Cas, Cas, baby, what's wrong?" She exclaimed.

"N-not the dark, not the dark please!" He whimpered.

She flicked the lamp on, holding him close, eyes wide in worry, still scared from his sudden outburst. He cried in relief and fear.

"Shh," she soothed, kissing his forehead. "It's okay, honey. It's alright, don't cry." She frowned, feeling his forehead again and checking the clock. "Okay, you need more medicine, baby. I'll be right back, alright?"

He didn't want her to go. He sniffed a little when she left the room, shaking from the chill.

Dean came into the room, confusing him.

"Wh-where's Annabelle?" He trembled.

"She'll be back in a minute," he assured, sitting down next to him. He grabbed the first-aid kit, popping it open.

Castiel's eyes grew, tears welling in them. "Please," he choked, "D-Dean, please don't. I'll, I'll be good. I'll do an-anything, please."

"Hey, hey, easy," Dean soothed, frowning sadly. "You didn't do anything wrong, buddy. I'm not gonna hurt you. I just have to change the bandages, alright? It'll hurt a little, but it won't be nearly as bad as last time, okay?"

He was right. It did still hurt. Castiel still felt as if he were being punished.

"Shh, hey, hey, it's alright. Almost done, almost done," he assured, putting a hand on his fevered forehead.

Tears were falling steadily down his face when Dean finished.

"I'm sorry, Cas. I'm so sorry," he said sadly, gently lifting his head and giving him the Ny-Quil and a glass of water. He lied him back down, setting the glass on the table.

He shook his head, looking down at Castiel, sighing.

"Ya know, we should've left you there," he said coldly.

"Wh-what?" He trembled.

"I said how did you get out of there?" Dean said gently. Castiel frowned, confused.

"Saphriel. S-she saved me."

"Why?" Dean snorted, eyes icy and unforgiving once more. "Why the hell should she sacrifice herself for a worthless thing like you?" Tears sprang in the wounded man's eyes. Why was Dean being so cruel?

"I-I don't know," he breathed, shaking.

"I wouldn't have wasted my time on something so pathetic.

"Pathetic?" He whimpered.

"God you're so stupid," he hissed, grabbing his throat. Castiel gasped, his aching throat caving in as Dean squeezed.

"I should kill you now. All you've caused me and Sam is a headache. Dealing with your stupid ass is gonna get us killed." Castiel clawed weakly at Dean's crushing hands.

"A-Anna-" Dean squeezed even tighter to stifle him.

"She doesn't give a shit about you either. She sent me in here to do this."

"N-no!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cas!" Dean exclaimed, his hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong? What's wrong, what are you seeing?"

Castiel looked up at him, confused and lost. Dean's eyes were warm and concerned once again, his hand nowhere near wrapping around his throat.

"Wh-what?"

"Hey, hey, easy, it's alright, shh… I think your fever's making you hallucinate. You're not pathetic, don't say stuff like that. Annabelle'll be here in a minute, okay?" He said, looking worried. Castiel started to cry, angry with himself once more for his stupidity.

"Shh, hey," Dean hugged him. "It's alright, Cas, don't cry." Castiel buried his face in his shoulder, sobbing.

"C-can I sleep now?" He choked.

"Yeah," Dean nodded, lying him back down. "Yeah, of course you can." The former angel shut his eyes, still crying. Dean's saddened frown deepened, pain in his eyes. He didn't understand.

"Can I come in?" Annabelle asked softly from the door, a bowl in her hands. Dean had offered to give Castiel the medicine because he needed to change his bandages anyway. He assured Annabelle that she wouldn't want to be there while he did. She agreed.

"Yeah," Dean nodded. Her face filled with concern when she saw Castiel.

"What happened?" She asked.

"His fever made him hallucinate," he mumbled, standing. She replaced his spot, setting the bowl down and rubbing Castiel's forehead.

"Shh," she soothed. Dean left quietly, rubbing his temples.

Castiel looked up at her, teary eyed. "Annabelle, help."

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay, baby. It's alright," she soothed.

"I-I, I don't understand," he whimpered.

"I know, I know," she said. "When you have a fever like that you see things that aren't real. It's your mind playing tricks on you. It's alright, baby. It's gonna be okay."

She helped him sit up, propping the pillows up behind him. She only had a small window before he fell asleep again to try and get some food in him. She took the still steaming bowl from the nightstand.

"Are you hungry, baby?" He nodded vigorously, his stomach giving a low growl. She touched his cheek, looking sad. "Honey, why didn't you say something?"

She carefully spooned some of the soup into his mouth. His lips shook around the spoon, the room's air making him cold, but the soup helped.

He wanted to eat much faster than Annabelle was letting him, but he guessed she had a reason.

Annabelle didn't want overwhelm his weary stomach. She also wanted to make sure he could keep it down. So he ate slowly.

It was awhile before she offered him some and he shook his head.

"Okay, baby," she said softly, setting the bowl aside. His eyes were drooping, opening and closing slowly "Shh, you should sleep, baby."

"W-will you stay with me again?" He gulped. "Please?"

"Aw, Cas," she kissed him, cradling his face. "Of course I will." She laid him back down, getting under the covers with him. She hugged him close, kissing his cheek. "Shh, sleep, baby. Sleep." His heavy eyes closed, nuzzling his face in her neck. She sighed, resting her cheek on the top of his head. "It'll be okay, sweetheart. It'll be better soon."

"WHERE IS HE?" Zachariah thundered, looking around the warehouse.

"I don't know," William said, thoroughly surprised. Zachariah spun on him, getting in his face.

"I know you don't, William," he spat. "You don't have the spine to do something so disobedient." He turned to Saphriel. "But you. You know. You let him go, didn't you?" I smirked.

"You can't prove anything," I said quietly. "I don't know how Castiel got away. And unless you want to kill me for no reason in front of everyone then by all means, go ahead."

"He stared at me for a beat before chuckling.

"If you didn't let him escape, then why is it impossible for me to sense where he is?" He challenged. My face remained stoic, but my heart stuttered a little. He grinned. "Then I think I do have the right to kill you."

I nodded at the floor, smiling. Registering the blade in my sleeve.

"Then I suppose I should leave," I said calmly. I knew this would happen. I anticipated it. Maybe that's why I was smiling.

"Leave? You aren't-"

There was a flash of silver and red as I cut open my own chest. It hurt like a mother, but it had to be done. I reached inside before he had a chance to react, grabbing what I knew would be there. I took out the white, glowing substance that would send me reeling into humanity.

"NO!" Zachariah bellowed, taking a step toward me, reaching for me, diving more so. It was too late. And he knew it.

A brilliant light started to glow within me, growing brighter and brighter.

Humanity. I'd be a baby in less than a minute. Bring it on.