Sam, Frodo and Aragorn all ran to Gandalfs house to rescue Elaine from Gandalfs junk. when Sam, Frodo (who is still naked) and Aragorn arrived at Gandalfs house they busted the door down and went inside cautiously. there was no- one in the living room, but the bedroom was another story. they all ran into the bedroom to find a sight that bought Sam to tears. Elaine was lying naked and motionless on the bed, her eyes were pale and so was her skin complexion. Sam ran over to his little girl and cradled her body. "NO NOT MY ELAINE, PLEASE LET THIS BE A DREAM, A BAD DREAM..." Sam's voice trailed off as he began weeping and Frodo embraced him with his scrawny arms and wept as well. Aragorn stood there motionless, not wanting to disturb the grieving family, but he also couldn't keep his eyes off Frodos junk, which was huge for hobbit size. "no wonder Sam moans so loud when they are making love" Aragorn thought to himself. Sam was still weeping but he noticed Elaines throat looked swollen. he slowly opened her mouth and peered inside. in the back of her throat there was something jammed in there, so he slowly pulled it out. Sam gasped in horror and dropped it. Frodo looked down in wonder and gasped too. it was Gandalfs balls. "my poor baby, SHE BIT GANDALFS BALLS OFF AND SHE CHOKED ON THEM!" Sam cried in anguish. Frodo looked like he was living his death again. "Sam, trust me, when Rosie shoved your balls down my throat i didn't suffer, it was quick and painless, i promise" Frodo said calmly to Sam.; "my poor baby" Sam weeped into Frodos shoulder.
meanwhile
Gandalf was limping through the woods, holding his wounded balls (what was left of them)
"the stupid bitch, biting off a mans testicles, WHAT WAS SHE THINKING! i shall never be able to satisfy a woman, man and child again! i hope the bitch dies" Gandalf said before looking up into the sky, " FUCK YOU ELAINE, YOU STUPID 9 YEAR OLD BITCH, YOU RUINED ME! FUCK YOU TO CONDOM, YOU FAILED ME!" Gandalf swore into the heavens.
Elsewhere...
Legolas was going to Arwen to thank her for giving him the drink that stopped his morning sickness. when he arrived at her room and opened the door he saw a sight that shall haunt him forever. Merry and Pippin were still making hot love (even after 3 months) and were still moaning dirty, sexual words to eachother. Legolas backed out of the room slowly, still memorized by them. he slowly shut the door and threw up in disgust. Arwen walked up to Legolas to greet him, but was interrupted by Legolas vomiting. "i assume you saw Merry and Pippin, little soldiers they are, been going at it like rabbits for 3 months now" Arwen said whilst looking at her closed bedroom door. "THEY ARE SICK! NO LOVE MAKING SHOULD BE DONE IN THOSE POSITIONS!" Legolas cried in disgust. "i agree" Arwen replied, looking a little green herself. "anyway, i came to thank you for the drink you gave me for the morning sickness, it really helped" Legolas smiled. "your welcome Legolas, i wish to help you through this pregnancy and i am, so your welcome" Arwen said with a fake smile, but with a evil glint in her eye, but Legolas did not see it.
whilst they were talking Sam ran between them screaming "GANDALF YOU MOLESTING BASTARD, IM GOING TO KILL YOU!" but Frodo was running behind him (still naked) trying to coax him back, yelling "CALM DOWN SAM, WE WILL FIND GANDALF BUT WE MUST BE PATIENT" except Frodo fell and landed on his junk. " JESUS CHRIST, MOTHERFUCKER OOOWWWWWWWWWWW, MY BALLS" Frodo cried out in pain. Legolas and Arwen ran over to help him and asked what was going on. "well Gandalf was babysitting Elaine and Marsh but he raped them, and Elaine got pregnant but Gandalf kidnapped her and raped her again, but Elaine bit off his balls and choked on them, so now she's dead and Sam wants revenge:" Frodo explained, still holding his junk. Legolas wasn't listening, as he was memorized by Frodos swollen balls. "well i must go otherwise he will do something he'll regret" said Frodo before running after Sam. "hhmmmm revenge, sounds like a plan" said Arwen with another evil glint in her eyes before walking away. Legolas didn't hear or notice, because he was still looking at Frodo running naked through the forest.