The Pact Ch 2, a sight fanfic

Chapter 2

"Sometimes you picture me; I'm walking too far ahead

You're calling to me; I can't hear just what you've said

You say go slow; I fall behind

The second hand unwinds.

If you're lost, you can look and you will find me

Time after time."

- Time After Time, Quietdrive

Larka

This time there was no doubt in my mind what woke me late in the night.

Meat.

My eyes shot open at the prospect of another meal. Not three feet away was what I can only describe as half of a deer. The latter half, too.

My favorite part, I thought to myself. I slowly got to my paws, shifting my weight onto my back legs until my lolling tongue came in contact with the ground. Shifting forward I raised first my left, then my right leg straight out behind me. Fully satisfied with the condition of my joints I tottered over to the carcass. I was more than ready to eat.

It's not that I was ungrateful for my earlier meal. I would have gladly eaten a garden snake had one slithered by, but in my condition I'm not sure I could have caught one. No, I could not complain about the two fat hare I had devoured earlier. Although in my mind the strange male had some explaining to do. For instance: why in the name of Tor, Fenris, and Sita was I here? I deserved an explanation. Didn't I? Especially after that little incident yesterday—today…whenever. He really could not expect to have placated me with a few measly Lera. Right?

Shaking my head for allowing myself to become so easily distracted from my meal when I still knew nothing about what was going on, I turned my attention back to the herla. It was fresh. The pool of blood on the ground just barely steamed in the chill night air. I sniffed it and found that the strange male from before—what was his name? Rar? That name sounded familiar—had not felled the creature. There were two distinct scents mingling with the smell of the meat, but I decided that they had obviously left the kill for me. I may as well enjoy it. After all, why else would you leave half a herla beside a starving varg?

I really did try to hold myself back this time. The hare had not held me over for as long as I would have liked, and it would have been nice to savor the tender meat. However, as soon as teeth met loin and those savory juices began caressing my pallet, I am pretty sure I was once again lost to the bloodlust. I tore into that carcass as if there were no tomorrow. But really, who knows when it comes to me.

That thought was enough to put a halt to my actions. Why had I thought such a thing? And where was this deep sense of foreboding and dread stemming from?

Quickly realizing my mistake I scanned the area, searching for the presence that must be provoking my natural fighting instinct. I sneezed tiny bits of herla from my nose in an attempt to better clear my senses. That was when I spotted him. He was to my right, lying in wait for me on the other side of the den entrance. Sleeping.

A long minute slid by, the only sound the soft gurgle of the stream that ran near the den. When I finally resumed eating I began at a much slower pace. All I had left was to strip the powerful hind legs of the fleshy meat. Lying down with a flank between my forepaws I kept a steady gaze fixed upon the male. I watched his every movement. Any time he so much as twitched an ear I noticed. Not a hair on his tail stirred and was not caught by my keen sight.

By the time I had finished eating I was in great need of water. I felt as if my throat were on fire. As satisfying as a fresh kill is, a proper meal cannot be eaten without a nice long lap from a cool stream. Blood is just too salty. I padded down to the stream and lowered my blood-stained muzzle to the shallow surface. I looked at the water expectantly, as if waiting for something to jump out at me. When nothing did, I lapped at the cool water until my belly ached. Once I had finished I padded back up the hill towards the den. I found a tree not far off to lie under and plopped myself down, snorting any remaining herla bits from my snout.

I may not have known who I was in the past, but really, what more did I need than this? To have the freedom of the Varg and a full belly—that was more than enough for the present. Setting my questions aside for the moment I raised my head to the wind and inhaled deeply. I allowed my mind to piece together the bits of information that it was receiving from the world around me. More prevalent now, without the distraction of food, was the scent of more wolves close by. Their scent practically enveloped the air, it was so strong. My first instinct was to be alarmed at the fact that I was trespassing on another pact's territory. Then I remembered the meat. It had smelled of other wolves as well. Yes, the scents were similar. They both had a…domestic taste to them? Was that it? There were more scents there too, that I did not recognize.

With my eyes still closed, I could smell that pleasant aromatic mixture that I had come to recognize as the male. He snorted in his sleep. A smirk crept across my features as I thought of how easily it would be for me to slink off into the darkness, right now, and leave this strange pack behind without a second thought. But no. First, I need answers. Perhaps they can give them to me. I can at least wait until my strength returns before I leave. Yes. That was a good plan.

The male had called me…Larka? Was that right? An image of a grey cub standing in the snow flashed before my mind's eye. Well, I am white. I suppose that makes sense. Opening my eyes, I refocused my attention on the male. He was where I had left him, but now he was between me and the den, faced away from me. His ear twitched.

It was time for some remembering. Hopefully something about this place would re-awaken something from my past. I studied the den entrance. There was a tail hanging out from under a log that hung over the opening, and I briefly wondered if it was one of the wolves who had hunted for me. My head shook in exasperation. How can you not remember anything? Something has to make sense!

I growled my frustration and decided to take a different approach. Getting to my feet I took stock of my body. Varg are built for speed, stealth, endurance, and power—everything necessary for survival in the wild. A wolf can last many days without food. By the way that my ribs were prodding at my sides it seems that I had gone quite some time without eating. I stretched each of my limbs, testing them for any signs of weakness. My left rear leg was slightly stiffer than the rest, suggesting that I had somehow injured and healed it. I coiled myself and leapt as far as I could. Yes, my leg pained me a bit, but it was nothing I could not manage.

I looked back to the male, frightened that I had awakened him. No, it would take me howling in his ear to do that. He had not woken up when I was gorging myself earlier, why would he now?

Needing to stretch my legs for a bit, I padded around the area, sniffing at rocks and clumps grass and dirt, desperately hoping that something would stir some memory within me. Nothing. I returned to my comfortable spot beneath the tree and proceeded to bathe myself. I was quite proud of pure-white coat, but it got dirty very easily and was anything but white at the moment. While I was far from being vain about my appearance, I was sure I looked awful. An image of a battered she-wolf flitted through my mind. She was white, like me, but old and scarred from a rough life. I crossed my eyes to get a better look at my muzzle. No. No scars. Surely I don't look that bad. When I had finished cleaning the flecks of red from my coat I raised my head and looked around.

The curiosity was killing me, driving me insane. I knew that these other wolves knew who I was, or else they would not have accepted my presence here so readily. Enough was enough.

I padded up to the male, still fast asleep. Deep down I felt that I could trust him, however unorthodox his initial behavior had been. He was lying flat on his back, pawing at the air like a cub. It was sort of sweet to watch, but I needed my answers. I gently nudged his shoulder with my paw. He let out a whine. I bumped him with my muzzle. He whimpered. I flipped him over onto his side and he let out a startled yelp. He jumped to his paws in surprise while I stood there grinning at him.

Kar

"Oh, Larka. It's you." She was standing there, smiling at me, and I am sure that she could hear my heart pounding in my chest. I had been dreaming about the night when the flames had separated us in the forest. This time I escaped unharmed, but had been unable to find Larka.

"So you keep telling me. What did you say your name was again?" I sighed. She hasn't remembered anything, then.

"Kar. My name is Kar." I looked back over my shoulder to see if she had eaten the meal that her parents had brought back earlier. Yes, it had been reduced to a pile of bones. Good, she needed to get her strength back. I could almost see her ribs sticking out from under her fur. I turned back to Larka and studied her face as I spoke. I was going to need to tread carefully from now on. "I see you finished the deer."

"Yes." Her gaze momentarily flickered towards the den, then back to me. "Who caught it?" I couldn't help but notice that she seemed so much more relaxed than when she had woken the first time. For that, at least, I could be grateful. Deep down, although I tried to tell myself that I was not, I could not help but be hopeful.

"Huttser and Palla went hunting earlier today. They thought that you would be hungry when you woke up," I edged. Huttser and I had spoken privately once we had safely guided the curious cubs away from the den (and their sister) to the Meeting Place that day. He had taken some convincing, but in the end the Dragga and I came to an understanding: we would not tell Larka anything. If she asked us a question then we would answer truthfully, but ultimately regaining her memory was going to be up to her. This way Huttser and Palla would still be able to claim Larka as their daughter, allowing us to avoid lying as little as possible. As would it negate the need for me to claim her as my mate, no matter how much I may want to.

"Who are they? Please, tell me why I am here." The pleading in her voice pained my heart. "I remember things, things I must have learned when I was younger, but I don't know who taught them to me. I have no memory of you, and yet I feel safe here," she stopped herself, as if she had said something that she not meant to. Larka felt safe here? With me? Well why shouldn't she? We are her family, after all. My heart was pounding again. She lay down where she was standing and I followed suit. This was going to take a while.

"I suppose I should just tell you everything." But I couldn't. Huttser and I had agreed that we would NOT tell her everything, and especially not that everything. This was getting to be too much for me to handle. Setting those thoughts aside, I recalled the answer that I had carefully rehearsed while she was sleeping. "I was brought to your pack as a cub. Your parents, Huttser and Palla, took me in and raised me alongside you and your brother, Fell. We used to play together, the three of us." I could see that she was trying very hard to remember, and it hurt a little that she couldn't. "The rest of that pack is gone now, but for your parents, Fell, and the two of us. Fell went off on his own a few moons ago to live the life of a Kerl," I tried to hide the shudder that threatened to surface as I recalled my own time spent in that manner. A pack life was much more to my liking.

"Palla has given birth to four fine, healthy cubs since you've been…gone." Larka tilted her head and cocked her ears, showing that she had caught my slip-up. I continued in hopes that she would quickly forget. "They're still young, though. I think that you will like them. You always liked children." I kept the 'human' part to myself.

"What are their names? The cubs?" she asked thoughtfully. I really needed to distract her. Well, this would do it.

"They were named for the lost members of our pack. Skop, Khaz, Kipcha and," I paused. I really didn't know how to say this to her. But someone had to do it. It may as well be me. "And Larka."

She yelped her surprise. "Larka? But I thought that—"

There was no stopping how utterly remorseful I sounded when I spoke."Yes. We thought you were dead." I allowed her time to process what I told her. This had to be difficult for her, but this was so much harder on me. My heart was breaking. I longed only to leap to her side and rub my nose into the sensitive area under her jaw as I once had—to tell her everything was alright. To lick her strong muzzle and calm her nerves. A whimper escaped my jaws. "You were gone for so long, and…" What else could I say, without revealing anything about Harja, about her gift? 'I'm sorry,' seemed a bit out of place. I felt as if I were being torn in two, the way my loyalties were pulling me.

"How long was I away?"

I thought back to those last few days I was able to spend with her before the world turned upside-down. "It feels like so many years have passed. The last time we were all together was towards the end of last summer, nearly a year ago.

Larka shook her head. "But if I was gone so long, where was I?"

This question I could answer truthfully. "Honestly, I've no idea. I can only assume that after you were hurt you took time to heal yourself, and the rest of the time was spent returning here. Although I'm not sure how you did return, if you can't even remember where here is."

She was nodding along with me. "That makes sense, though. My leg is a little stiff, so I must have broken it. How did it happen?" I winced before I could stop myself, and Larka noticed. It was if she was trying to memorize every hair on my body, she was watching me so closely. I was unsure how to react under her intense scrutiny.

"You fell. There was no way to get down to your body, and there was so much blood that we just assumed…I'm sorry. That I wasn't there for you," I tried my best to convey my sincerity. Apparently I was successful because Larka's eyes smiled back at me.

"It's alright. I'm fine now. I just wish that I could remember. I feel bad not knowing you all while you take care of me." Again her gaze turned to the den. It lingered on Huttser's tail, which was hanging out of the opening. We had enlarged the badger set to fit five adults, but the Dragga slept at the entrance to protect the rest of his family. To him, my being right outside was not enough to protect the cubs from their sister. Her head whipped back around and those yellow eyes that I loved so much fixed upon mine. "Would you tell me something?" she asked in a hopeful voice.

"Tell you what?" I would tell her anything she wanted to know, she must know that by now.

"I don't know. You said that we played together as cubs. Tell me something about when we were younger. I keep hoping that I'll remember something important enough to trigger the rest of my memories, but all I can see is darkness. Maybe if you tell me things that we did l will remember." The excitement shining in her eyes nearly made me forget her question. Everything she did, every look she gave me, every flick of her tail, drew me in. Surely I could grant her this request. It was within Huttser's rules—she had simply asked me to tell her a story of when we were cubs. He would not begrudge her that.

"I can do that." Larka looked delighted. I stood up and padded over to her side and began to settle in next to her when I caught a glimpse of her face. She was looking at me with a startled expression, probably wondering why I had closed the distance between us so quickly. While I was more than comfortable lying next to her, Larka still had her boundaries. I was sinking back into our old ways, forgetting that things were different now.

If I got too close too fast, Larka may attack me. Like the other morning. How I had forgotten that escaped me completely.

I started to move away when Larka stopped me. "Wait. It's alright, I just…This is different for me." I stared down into her torn face and had to tell myself that she would bite me if I gave her beautiful muzzle an affectionate lick right then. I lay down in the cool grass, curling my body towards hers. I remained far enough away that we were not touching, hoping to at least please her this way.

"Firstly I should apologize for startling you the other morning. When you arrived the night before, you said my name. I had assumed that you knew who I was. If I had known that you didn't, I would have given you your space."

Larka appeared confused again. "I don't remember that. Under the circumstances, though, I think that I overreacted. I'm sorry." Why was she apologizing? She had no idea who she was, for Fenris' sake!

Wracking my brain, I tried to think of a good story to tell her. Unfortunately, they were few and far between. Whatever I told her would have happened after I arrived and before Brassa died. It could not be about our first hunt, when Larka first used her power, nor could it involve the countless conversations we had plotting against her seemingly mythical aunt. This left the three of us playing very childish games that soon became very repetitive and dull. And even those were very scarce. I turned to the beautiful she-wolf on my left and scrunched up my brow.

She startled me out of my concentrated thought, however. "We were close, weren't we."

I sneezed unexpectedly and looked deep into those yellow eyes that saw so much more than any other varg. How do I answer this one? I shot a glance at Huttser's tail, thumping in his sleep.

"Yes. We were very close. Both as cubs and later on. We've always cared very much for each other." That was not the whole truth, and it was not a lie, either. We have always cared very deeply for each other. And it wasn't as if we had ever discussed starting a family before. Outside of my own heart, Huttser was the only one who considered me Larka's mate.

Larka

"Cared…how much?" He had to know that he was making me nervous with all of this talk of closeness. Had I left behind a mate that I was unaware of? I watched him closely as he pieced together his answer.

"Whenever I needed an ear to howl into, you always offered two. I believe I recall you howling into mine a few times, as well." He offered me a sad smile. I wasn't quite sure where the sadness was stemming from, but he had answered my question. Though what did he mean by that? Were we really only close friends?

My head lowered to my paws and I realized just how tired I was. Kar had given me a lot to think about, and in the morning I would be meeting the rest of my family. If I tilted my head I could see Kar out of the corner of my eye. He was staring at me.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. It's nothing. You should get some more sleep. You have to meet the cubs tomorrow, and they've been like Fren, keeping them away from you." I chuckled at that. I could only imagine what it would be like to keep four young cubs from disturbing their recently un-dead sister. Kar lowered his head and settled in to sleep right where he was, by my side. Oddly enough, I was now comforted by the fact. First and foremost, wolves are pack creatures and so hate to be alone. Up to that point I had been alone in my mind. Now it seems I had Kar. That cheered me a little.

"Kar?"

He opened the eye nearest me. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry." Barely a whisper in the surrounding darkness, but I knew he heard it. His brow furrowed and his ears went back as if he had smelled something unpleasant. He huffed out a heavy breath before speaking to me in a firm tone, urging me to recognize his seriousness.

"Larka, it's not your fault. Many…unnatural events have taken place in our lifetime, and I know that you cannot remember them, but that is not the point. What is important is that you are here, now, and you are with those who love you and will keep you safe. There is nothing to be afraid of anymore. You are home." By this point both eyes were boring into mine, willing me to believe him. His words hypnotized me, and I couldn't help but trust him. I trusted that he would protect me from whatever unknown dangers existed in the world. I trusted that he would help me remember who I was.

This fine grey male, a fitting dragga if never remembered what a dragga should be, took on a whole new light in my eyes. I had studied him before, but I had not had not seen him. I had not witnessed his true character. Why he had not yet taken a mate yet was a mystery to me. These thoughts all ran through my mind as I drifted off to sleep.

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"Larka, really, there is nothing to worry about. The cubs are going to adore you," Kar told me in what I assumed was supposed to be a reassuring voice. But really, the cubs were the last thing on my mind. As of yet, I still had to be introduced to our Dragga and Drappa, who just happened to be my parents. I knew that I shouldn't be worried—they had tolerated my presence thus far, and they had hunted for me. Honestly, there was nothing to worry about…

I sniffed the air for what seemed like the millionth time that morning. Kar had felt it would be best if I were to be introduced to the cubs on somewhat neutral ground. He had woken me early and shown me to the Meeting Place, which was a good sprint from the den. Now all we had to do was wait for the Drag – Huttser and Palla to bring the cubs here.

Ugh. Waiting.

Glancing over toward Kar, who looked perfectly at ease, I shook my head. "I'm sorry, Kar, but it really is not that simple."

His head tilted to the side in confusion. "It's not? What is so complicated about meeting your brothers and sisters?" Oh. He thought I was talking about the cubs.

"The cubs aren't the issue." I paused for a moment, thinking. "Actually, I am looking forward to meeting them. But please try to see this from my perspective: I am going to be re-introduced to the wolves who raised me. Here I am, and I remember nothing about them. At the very least, it is inconsiderate of me. It makes me feel…cold, not remembering anything. They will probably hate me." In fact, I wonder why you don't hate me…I looked over to see Kar's reaction.

He was chuckling. He thought this was amusing? How on earth was this funny? I glared at him and a low growl escaped my throat. That caught his attention. He tried to appear guilty.

"Larka, there is something that you must understand about –. " The nearby clamor of excited yips caught our attention. The pack was coming. "Just know that your parents have been waiting a long time to have you back in their lives again…we all have." He said the last part in a low voice, and the excitement of the approaching cubs nearly drowned it out. I cast another nervous glance his way before the cubs arrived. He was wearing that expression again, the one that hinted we had been closer than he had let on. The one where his ears and his tail were raised ever-so-slightly in expectation and his golden eyes stared deep into some unseen part of me.

That look.

Three cubs mounted the hill and cried out in unison, "Uncle Kar!" A fourth cub trailed along behind the others, only raising her head when the others called out. Kar was smiling fondly at the cubs as they planted themselves in a half-circle at his feet. I was sitting off to the side and slowly padded over to the group when Kar beckoned me. Huttser and Palla must have been trying to make this as easy on me as possible by waiting to speak with me until after I had met…my siblings. The cubs looked at me with a mixture of enthusiasm and apprehension written upon their young faces.

Once again I was grateful for Kar's presence.

"Children, this is your elder sister Larka whom you've all heard so much about. Larka, these are your younger brothers and sisters: Khaz, Skop, Larka, and Kipcha." Kar nodded to each cub in turn. My stomach flipped a little when I met Larka's mournful gaze—she had been the straggler of the bunch. Was I the cause of her sorrow?

They were still young, probably just passed their second moon. Therefore they were inquisitive of anything and everything. I would certainly spike their interest.

One of the males, the one with the muddy-brown forepaw, spoke first. "Sister, were you really dead? Mother said that you were." Before I could even think of a proper response, another question was asked.

"Did Tor call you back from the Red Meadows, like Sita?" queried the smallest cub in a timid voice. Her tone suggested she was both excited and frightened by the prospect. I looked to Kar for help.

"Or did Fenris send you back with a message for the living, warning us to mend our naughty ways." Really, where did they get such ideas?

Kar came to my rescue just then. He reprimanded them with a soft but firm growl. "What did your parents tell you?" The cubs all lowered their heads dolefully. I looked to Kar, upset that I had been the cause of any familial upset. He winked at me, assuring me that everything was all right. His golden eyes twinkled with amusement. "Actually, you were all wrong. Larka, why she fell from the heavens." We all shot questioning looks at the older wolf, mine more amused than anything. I noticed the other Larka seemed a bit upset by the comment.

"Really, Larka? Did you fall from the heavens?" The other male, the one with the red-tipped ears and tail, seemed somewhat skeptical.

"I don't think so. Although, it would explain how I broke my leg." They laughed at this, and the tension that had been in the atmosphere a moment ago seemed to vanish. Then Kar spoke again.

His face in all seriousness, "Truly, Larka did fall from the heavens." I rolled my eyes at him. He in turn snorted back at me. I resisted the urge to nip at him, instead settling for another glare. "What? Have you never heard the tale of the first Larka?"It did not escape my notice how he placed emphasis on the word 'first.' I had no memory of this story, but this did not surprise me. I shook my head 'No' and noticed that the cubs were doing the same.

Kar gasped in mock astonishment. As if our ignorance were too much for him, he shook his head and collapsed to the ground. The cubs, picking up on the signal, all made themselves comfortable as well. Kar looked up at me and a deep rumbling sound began within his chest, gradually increasing in intensity. Oh! He wants me to join in for the story, too. For added effect I took my place opposite him, curling up behind the cubs. Our storyteller took a deep breath as he readied himself for his tale.

"Before I begin, I must ask you lot to be quiet while I am talking, so that I don't lose my place." He cast very pointed glances at the more inquisitive of the males, the one with the paw-mark, and at the smaller female. The cubs all giggled, and I even found myself smiling. It made me happy, seeing how much this family got along together. It was something that I had once been a part of, that I wanted to be a part of.

If only I could remember.

"It was in the beginning, when the wolf gods Fenris and Tor created the world and so brought light out of darkness. It was after Tor had fashioned the stars to keep her company at night while she hung in the sky to watch over the Varg while they slept. There were more stars than you can imagine, yet Tor knew each of them by name, and was their friend. This was when Varg and human need not fear each other. This was when the great Fren," the cubs grew excited at the name and squirmed where they lie. A stern look from Kar silenced them. He smiled back at me and continued as I silently recalled something of a golden deer pelt.

"…when the great Fren had caught a rain cloud from the sky and disguised himself as a fluffy white sheep. Man had come to the area and food was scare—Fren needed a new way to feed his family. He went into one of the human villages and began stealing from their flocks, bringing the many carcasses home to feed his many cubs. The humans knew that their sheep were going missing, but they did not know why, though, because so clever was Fren's disguise. That was when his luck ran out." He paused and took in the cubs expressions, excited that he had drawn each of them into his story.

"All that day the sky had been bright and cheerful, the only cloud in the sky having been the one that Fren wore on his back. On one of Fren's trips back to the pasture where the humans kept the sheep, the air grew thick and the sky turned black. It began to rain. The cloud that was Fren's disguise turned to rain and melted away, leaving him exposed to the humans. They saw that it was a wolf in their pasture and chased him from the village, vowing to hunt him down for stealing their food. The humans, becoming filled with thoughts of anger and revenge, killed any wolf they saw. This served to remind the wolves that they were not to come near the human dwellings, less they want to be skinned and staked to one." The cubs all cried out at the very thought.

"Uncle Kar? Humans would never really do that to the Varg, would they?" asked the smaller of the females.

"Of course they would, Kipcha. Man is a ruthless creature that loves only to harm the Lera. Now be quiet and listen to the story." He closed his eyes and thought back to where he had left off. While he was thinking his tongue peaked out from his mouth and I could not help but think how very comical he looked at that moment. A gust of air escaped my nose as I laughed, and Kar heard it. He opened his eyes and scowled at me before continuing on with the story.

"Needless to say the Varg became angry with Fren for what he had done. Before, man and wolf had minded their own ways. Now man hunted wolf. Fren was driven from the safety of the forest into a vast desert. Here there were few Lera to hunt and even less water to drink…" I watched as the cubs became caught up with Kar's story. By this point I was quite sure that he was making it up as he went. The way he would pause every so often for "dramatic effect" gave him away.

I knew that I should be frightened, or at least worried, of the fact that I had no recall of my past with this family. It only made sense that I should have some sort of misgivings of feeling so calm and at peace. That was the problem, though. I did feel peaceful. Sitting here with the cubs, listening to Kar tell this ridiculous story of a wolf wearing a cloud, I felt safe. There was nothing to be worried about. It didn't matter that my past consisted of only a pawful of conscious hours. I was content.

My eyes focused themselves upon Kar as he continued with the story, and I truly studied his features for the first time. I'd been wrong, before, when I had described him as having a grey coat. Compared to me he was grey, but really his fur was more than that. Grey was the color of the sky before a storm. Larka was grey. Kar, though, was many colors. He was silver like the small stream fish, with flecks of black that shimmered in the early sunlight. His lower face was a light cream color, and the bridge of his nose was a dark tan. Bits of brown coursed through his fur in small areas near his ears and tail, which would flick from side-to-side when he became excited. Seeing how much he enjoyed the children caused me to wonder why Kar had not yet taken a mate. He was certainly attractive enough…

As soon as I realized that my focus had drifted from the story to the storyteller, I scolded myself and tried once more to pay attention.

"…But Tor took pity on Fren, for though he was indeed a naughty Varg, she knew that his intentions had been pure. She had seen how man had been hunting and making it difficult for her children to find food. Tor felt that what Fren had done had not been completely bad. She thought that he had suffered enough for his actions. One night, while Fren was sleeping, Tor called to the her friends among the stars and threw them to the earth. They burst apart in the sky as they fell, blanketing the ground in a thin, cool layer of white in the night." When I realized where the story was headed, I knew that I would have to thank Kar later.

"When Fren awoke in the morning, he was covered in tiny white flakes. Though the sun beat down upon them, he felt only coolness. When he licked them, he discovered that the flakes melted in his mouth and that his thirst was quenched. In every direction he looked, he saw the whiteness and it was beautiful to him, for he had never seen snow before. He rolled and played in the soft flakes like a cub, and indeed he did feel young again. While he was playing, Tor approached him. In a voice that was gentle like wind in the trees, Tor spoke. 'Fren, I have given this gift not only to you, but to all of my children. This is but the first of many times that you shall have a snowfall, for that is what this is called. But remember this: with each blessing comes its curses.' Fren was so overjoyed that he ran straight home, marveling at the flakes that continued to pour from the sky."

The red-tipped male piped in. "What did Tor mean by a curse, Uncle Kar?"

"I will tell you after I have finished the story. Now stop interrupting!" He winked at me again, to show that he really was not upset.

"When the other dumbstruck wolves greeted Fren, they told him of their hardships while he had been gone. Man hunted them day and night, tracking them wherever they went, making hunting impossible. Fren told of what had transpired while he was in the desert. He told them how the snow would cover their tracks, and mask their shapes so they could hunt."

Kar smiled down at the cubs again. "Fren lead the wolves on a great many hunts, and their bellies were full all winter, thanks to Tor's kindness. In remembrance of that first snow that saved Fren, each first snowfall was named after Tor's favorite star. Larka." He grinned at Larka, who's tail thumped enthusiastically, but the smile he gave me made my heart stop. Not dropping my gaze he addressed the others. "So you see: Larka did fall from the heavens."

"No, I am quite sure that I know where Larka came from." Startled by the addition of a new voice, my head whipped around to see two larger wolves standing slightly behind me. We all got to our feet, and the cubs raced in front of me to thei – our parents. I felt Kar come up beside me. Palla chuckled.

"Oh really? And just where did she come from, then?" Yes, that's what I want to know. She looked to her mate. By this point I was unsure about which Larka they were discussing.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I know where she came from," Huttser growled as he affectionately licked his mate's muzzle. He pulled back suddenly. "Unless you have something to tell me?" Palla leaned over to playfully nip one of Huttser's ears. He dodged her and began to address me for the first time.

And was interrupted.

Muddy-paw—I really did need to learn their names—spoke up again. "Mother, didn't you say that –. "

"Skop, wait until we are done talking to ask your questions. Why don't you four go play with Kar for a bit?" There was no arguing with the look in Huttser's eyes. It was easy to see why he was Dragga. He had an unmistakable fierceness about him that was clearly defined, yet it was easy to see how much his family meant to him. Palla, on the other hand, was a perfect match for Huttser. She appeared docile, yet the intensity with which she was watching her cubs—with which she was watching me—spoke of a deep-rooted maternal instinct, something that only a fool would dare test.

"Come children, and I will tell you what Tor meant about snow being both a curse and a blessing." He turned to walk away and the cubs raced about in front of him. I smiled happily as I watched them go.

When Kar had gone off a ways with the cubs, Huttser approached me. I was unsure if I was to be received as daughter or stranger. My body stiffened as he raised his head above mine and gave me an affectionate lick between the ears. Palla did the same. I allowed my body to relax some, but I could not erase the bewildered look from my face. Palla noticed this and commented.

"We understand that you must feel…awkward, at best. Kar told us that you do not remember anything of your life before…of us." She offered a sad smile, which I returned. They seem nice enough. How can I not remember having parents as gentle and caring as these? I turned to Huttser. It was time to say something.

"Thank you both for hunting for me. It was very thoughtful of you. I was very hungry." Sure, that was at least a start, I thought to myself.

Huttser tilted in his head in confusion at my words. "Larka. You may not remember, but we are your parents. It is the duty of a parent to care for their cubs." At this he chuckled. "You may not be a cub anymore, but that does not mean that we must forget about you. After all that you have been through, you deserve to be taken care of." What was he saying? That I was incapable of taking care of myself? Surely I was not such a Sikla. My head rose in defiance, and Palla picked up on my mood.

"That is not to say that you need us to, of course. We just want you to know that you should feel welcome here. You have a have a home here. Unless you wish to leave…" She trailed off, obviously saddened by the idea of my leaving. But where would I go? These wolves knew me, and seemed to care for my well-being. It only made sense that I should stay.

I shook my head. "No, I will stay." Palla brightened immediately. She must have been worrying about this for some time before she brought it up. "I am hoping that being here, with you, my memory will return sooner."

"How much has Kar told you?" Huttser asked. He seemed strangely anxious.

"He told me about our old pack. That I have a brother who has recently chosen the life of a Kerl. He told me that I was thought to be dead…and that I have come here, nearly a year later. Is there anything else I should know?" Palla cast a nervous glance at her mate, who kept his eyes focused on me, his brow furrowed.

"Those are the important things that you should know. The rest will come with time," Huttser appeared upset about something, but what I could not be sure.

Palla's weary eyes caught my attention. "Is there really nothing that you can remember?" Just as I expected she was hurt by my memory loss. I should leave to prevent them from feeling more pain, I thought guiltily.

"Some things are still with me. I can remember lessons that I learned, that you must have taught me when I was a cub. Stories of Tor and Fenris…but beyond that I'm afraid this is all new to me." I looked them both in the eye, trying to convey to them how utterly regretful I felt for not being able to recall the wolves who raised me.

Huttser caught me off guard by growling his approval. "You know the important things, then. You can still hunt and fend for yourself." I nodded my head, silently wondering at draggas and their practicality. "Good. Palla and I need to hunt for the cubs. Do you feel up to joining us?"

He was inviting me hunt with them. While it would be nice to spend time with—I forced myself to think it—my parents, my nerves were running rather thin right now. More importantly, I would probably just slow them down in my current state. No, hunting would be a bad idea. I needed rest.

"Actually, I was hoping that I could spend more time with the cubs. Kar told us a story this morning and I did not have much time to properly answer their questions. I could stay and watch them, and Kar could go with you, if that's all right?" I did not really want to get rid of Kar as well, but thought I would be slightly more comfortable that way. It would also be unfair of me to deny them another hunting partner.

Huttser and Palla engaged in a silent discussion. I was not hurt by their indecision. Although I was their daughter, I still was not the daughter they knew. The cubs were young, and Palla was still extremely protective of them. She was asking if Huttser felt that they would be safe with only me to protect them. It seemed that he did.

"That sounds fine. We caught the scent of a wildcat not far from here a few days before you came. We won't be long." With that Huttser made his way over to Kar and to tell him they would be leaving. I watched them speaking to the cubs, and every so often a head would turn my way. Palla came up beside me.

"How are you doing?" The question confused me. I had not really given it much thought, the fact that anyone else may care. I was more concerned with being a nuisance than anything. Had I given myself away? As I saw the concern reflecting from Palla's eyes I was struck with the idea that this pack – my family – may truly care for my well-being.

Deciding honesty was best, "A little overwhelmed, actually. I hadn't expected things to turn out like this."

"What do you mean?"

"When I first woke up and realized that I had no memory of my past, my first thought was that I was in another pack's boundaries. I thought I needed to get away before I ended up fighting with anyone. I was scared. Then I was so readily welcomed by the pack I had feared. None of you have treated me as an outsider." My head lowered with the weight of it all.

"Larka – you're family! Of course you are welcome here!"

"But Kar told me that I was gone for over a year. You thought I was dead, for Tor's sake! And now it's as if nothing has happened, but for the fact that I can't recall a Wolfbane-cursed thing!" Palla's eyes widened with my cursing, but then she calmly smiled at me with all the love and patience of a mother. It made me want to cry.

"Larka, we don't expect anything of you. None of us do. Your life has been…burdened, by unnecessary hardships." There it was again, that talk of something that happened before. Kar had mentioned it while Huttser had avoided it altogether. "Perhaps this is a chance for you to start over, to lead a normal life. Your brother, Fell, is still troubled by all that he has seen. He has left us because of it. I fear that his heart may never heal, so great is his pain. But now you are back. I don't want to lose you again." Palla's eyes were pleading with me to understand what she wouldn't tell me.

Huttser called to Palla then, and the cubs raced back to where I was standing. I could hear them bombarding me with questions, but my attention was focused on the three wolves fading into the tree line. My eyes met with a golden pair that winked just before they turned and ran to catch up with their companions. My heart fluttered a bit before I realized that I was neglecting my duties.

"Larka! Are you listening to us?"

"I'm sorry. Now, you said you would like to go to the stream?" The cubs all nodded their heads enthusiastically and turned to race off ahead of me. I snorted angrily, catching their attention. "And just where do you think you are going?"

The four of them looked at each other in confusion. Larka spoke to me for the first time. "You said that we could go to the stream…"

"Did I say that? I thought I remember thinking that I was going to walk to the stream first and check that it was safe. Then I was going to get a drink myself before you all stampede down and suck it dry." Larka and Kipcha giggled while Skop snorted, unamused. "Skop? Do you have a problem with my plan?"

The young cub nodded. "We are Varg. We do not dash about like silly herla. We are swift, and bold, and cunning. We can steal water from the stream, if we have to." The other cubs nodded their heads vigorously in agreement with their brother. It seemed he was the leader of the bunch.

This gave me an idea. "Really? Well then, you shall have to show me how clever you are. I propose a game of stealing water."

"How do we steal water, sister?" I looked fondly at the cub. Khaz. Sister, he had called me. Perhaps I really could belong here. The idea was an appealing one.

"You cubs must sneak past the river guardian in order to drink from the stream," I told them in a low voice.

"Will the river guardian gobble us up if she catches us?" Kipcha whispered to her sister. Larka hushed her and turned her attention back to me, eager to begin the game.

I led them down to the stream, sniffing the air for danger as we went. When we arrived I ordered the cubs back up the bank while I curled myself into a tight ball at the water's edge, my tail just barely covering my eyes. This way I could choose whether or not to spy them coming. While I waited for one of them to approach, I thought of how easy it was to just be with the cubs. I did not have to live up to any expectations, meet any ideals with them. I had no idea of who I was, of how I used to behave. With the cubs, I almost felt like a cub again. It was as if I were starting over.

Just as I suspected, Skop was the first to make his way down to the water. I did not worry about playing so near the stream because it was shallow. I'm sure the cubs would be able to stand and the water would just brush their bellies. Skop was followed by Larka, who was much more cautious than her brother. As a result, she was also quieter. I allowed Skop to come within a yard of me before I 'caught' him. Flicking my tail from my face and opening my eyes wide, I cried out in a deep voice, "Away with you, Skop ThunderPaws!" Startled, both he and Larka turned and ran up the embankment.

We carried on with the game until the cubs were in desperate need of a rest. As none of them had managed to sneak past me, they were worn out and thirsty. And my throat was beginning to ache from shouting so much, as well.

While we were dipping our heads and lapping up the refreshing water, the strangest thing happened.

Three cubs—one white, one grey, one black—were lying together in the sun. The white cub seemed to be having a nightmare, for it was thrashing about. It woke the grey cub sleeping next to her. After discovering the source of the commotion, the cub nuzzled his friend awake.

"Larka, are you alright? You were having another nightmare." The grey cub was worried for his companion. It had been some time since she had slept without having some sort of strange dream. Larka never liked to tell him what they were about, though.

"Yes, I'm alright Kar." She shook her head to erase the images of the nightmare. The other cub snuggled closer to comfort her.

"What were you dreaming about?" Larka laid her head down on her paws and closed her eyes. Kar placed his head over top of hers, trying his best to protect her from her dreams.

"It was Morgra."

The memory ended, if it had even been a memory at all. The strangest part about it was that I could have sworn that I had seen all of that in the water, not my mind. But was that even possible? Seeing things in water? I glanced left and right to the cubs to see if they had noticed anything unusual. They'd already finished drinking and were lying in the grass behind me, waiting for me to finish.

"Morgra," I whispered to myself. I would have to ask Kar about that name later. And had the third cub been my brother, Fell?

"What is it Larka?" called one of the cubs.

"Leave her alone. You know what Father said," reprimanded another.

Someone growled. "Why is it always, 'Leave him alone,' or 'Leave her alone?' We were always told to give Fell his space. Then Uncle Kar, and now Larka!"

"Hush! That isn't fair. They had their right to be upset, and they don't need us bothering them." That was it. The cubs know! I spun around, startling Kipcha. I tried to calm myself.

"What were they upset about?" Khaz—who must have been the one reprimanding everyone—gave me a puzzled look, as if I should know. Larka lowered her head, yet she spoke to me.

"Mother and Father told us not to speak of it." She raised her head then, and in her eyes burned a light that I had not seen before. So this was why she was so upset. They had all been told not to speak of what had happened to me, of her namesake. Now it made sense.

"That's alright. If you were told not to, then you shouldn't. Forget that I asked." I tried to smile reassuringly at them, and they seemed to get my message. We made our way back to the Meeting Place. The cubs, tired from the game, all decided it was time for a nap. I relished the peace and quiet. I still needed time to think things over. Here in the quiet spring afternoon under the shade of the oak tree seemed to be the perfect opportunity.

Palla and Huttser had been more than I had hoped for. They really did want me to stay with them. I couldn't understand why they would want me, broken like I was. But then it was never a Varg's place to understand everything.

I enjoyed my time with the cubs. They allowed me to forget that I had no past, because with them it was true. They did not know this 'Larka' that was both friend and daughter to the wolves here. To them…I was simply me.

That led me to my memory – my vision – whatever it was. It had to have happened at some point. What Kar had said was true. We were close, but this memory did not hint at our relationship before I disappeared. I wanted to learn more of Fell, but each time he was mentioned a heavy sadness filled the air. Why was that?

Lastly, I needed to find out who 'Morgra' was, and why I had been so terrified of her. I was anxious for Kar to return so I could ask him my questions. Kar. Why on earth was I so drawn to him? It seemed like he was paying me special attention, but then I was in a special position and really needed a friend at the moment. He also said that we had been very close, but what did that mean? Had we been closer than I thought? The way he kept winking at me was leading me to believe so. Perhaps he had always treated me like this, and I was the one ignoring him. I would ask Palla later. She seemed to be on my side about this whole memory ordeal.

I caught their scent coming back through the trees. Waking the cubs, I looked up just in time to see three wolves breaking free from the shadows. The cubs yipped and barked as they bowled over each other on their race toward Palla, who grinned down at them as she began to bring back her earlier kill. Kar was at my side in an instant, the leg of a wildcat dangling from his mouth. He placed it on the ground before me.

"I wasn't sure if you would be hungry or not." As soon as I smelled the meat my mouth began to salivate. "Yes, I thought so. Honestly, are you ever not hungry?" I knew he meant it jokingly, but I glared at him anyways before I tore into my meal. When I had exposed the thigh bone I ripped it away from the rest of the leg with a crack of my powerful jaws and tossed it in Kar's direction. I don't want him just sitting there and watching me eat. He's giving me that look again. He deftly caught the bone in mid air and began gnawing on it as I finished.

Once I had cleaned myself up I discovered that Kar had fallen fast asleep. I suppose my questions will have to wait until tomorrow, then. I settled myself in for the night and silently thanked Tor for my family.

Squee! for the long chapter. I hope you liked it.

Let me know what you think about swapping POVs. Normally I don't like it, but I don't think I can do this story right without swaps. I will try to keep them at a minimum, though.

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