Stimulus: Duck

Spoilers: None

POV: Ianto

Dedication: To… Tom Price (pause for Ally to stop squealing) whose Twitter page is quite funny, actually :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood. I'm far too busy being bad at art to do such things (be sensitive, ladies, for what follows is a real event plucked straight from the 'Horrific Memories' box )

AN: I've been very busy with convincing my parents to let me go to Hub 5/obsessing over going to Hub 5 with Ally (when I should be revising) to update this although I thought I should do it soon or it might turn to mould. So here it is, straight from the traumatized bit of me that will never again attempt any type of art :)

-x-

"So what do you think?"

They stared in horror at the wire structure on the conference table. It, like its proud owner, was splattered 'artistically' with blobs of brown, black and white paint that Ianto was inwardly wincing over the thought of having to clean up and hoping to high heaven that it wasn't the alien equivalent of permenant paint that he'd filed where he hoped Jack would never find it (he'd have to think these things through more clearly in the future).

Jack cleared his throat in eager anticipation of a glorified response.

"Very nice," Tosh answered meekly, sinking into a chair as far away from the monstrocity as was possible. Jack's iron glare turned to Owen, who grumbled his approval with wide eyes and retreated behind Tosh. Gwen was next up.

"Uh… yeah. Yeah, very… nice. It's amazing how you've managed to capture the, um, essence of the Weevil so well…"

The door slammed horribly as Jack stormed out. Ianto sighed and three pairs of tired eyes locked on Gwen, who squirmed under their accusatory gazes. "What did I say?"

Ianto sighed again as he pushed himself up and went to follow Jack. "Very nice Weevil, Jack. Essence of the Weevil, Jack… I'm not going to see the end of this one for weeks."

Gwen frowned at the wire Thing on the table top. "If it's not a Weevil, then what the hell is that thing?"

It was Ianto who answered, making a mental note to retcon Jack and switch Gwen onto decaf for a week. "It's meant to be a duck."