- Feelings

A/N – SORRY it has taken me so long to update this. I have been busy and I didn't know where I wanted to go with this. But, I finally finished it and posted another chapter for you. Thanks to those who reviewed, I much appreciated the advice you had for me, it helped. Also, thanks to my readers.

"It's. . . .It's beautiful," was all I could manage to say. I could feel his warm hand embracing my own. Since we had gotten in the car, Jacob's hand had found my own and hadn't let it go since.

"It reminds me of you," Jacob said. Suddenly, I was brought back to reality, shocked by what he was saying. I knew that he liked me, but I had wished he hadn't said that. I pulled my hand free from his warm grip and walked down the beach.

"I never knew a sunset on the reservation could look so pretty," I said, trying to divert the attention from myself.

"I knew that it would help get your mind off everything." Swiftly, he was able to catch up to me, closing the few feet I had added between us.

The mere centimeters between his body and my own were intimidating. I could feel his shoulder just brushing my own. But, he made no move to grab my hand again, he was giving me time.

"Bella." I couldn't answer. I was lost in my own thoughts. Even though Jacob was trying so hard to help me forget, I would never be able to. I kept thinking about him . . . wondering what he would say . . . If he would be jealous of Jacob. "Bella, I think we should head back to your truck, it is getting dark out."

Coming out of my thoughts, I merely nodded in agreement and turned towards the direction of my truck. Slowly, we walked, side by side. I could sense some tension between us. He was hoping that I could get over him quickly and just move on. But, I couldn't. I had given Edward my heart and he would never be able to give it back in one, unblemished piece. Too much had been taken from it to put back together.

I walked to the driver's door, opening it to get in. But, a hand stretched out in front of me, preventing me from getting in. "Let me drive," Jacob said.

Not wanting to argue with him, I obliged and walked around to the passenger's side and slid in.

In one swift motion, Jacob started the car and slid it into drive, taking off down the dirt road, away from the rapidly disappearing sunset. After a few moments of silence, I felt Jacob's hand find my own and firmly grasp it. He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, giving me a quick glance. His warm touch helped soothe me, reminding me that someone still loved me, even if it wasn't him.

"Thanks for taking me to see the sunset Jacob. It reminded me that there is still beauty in Forks since . . .you know . . he left."

Suddenly, Jacob stiffened at my mere mention of him. Jacob stopped the car, turning to look at me, my hand still in his own. "Bella, why can't I be enough for you? Why can't you see just how much I love you?"

I was speechless. While I knew that Jacob had feelings for me, this was the first time he had made those feelings known verbally.

"Jacob, I . . . I . . . I don't know what to say. I'm broken; I don't know how anyone can want something that is broken and unfixable. Jacob, there are pieces missing from me that only he can ever have. I have nothing left to give because I gave everything I had."

"You're not broken Bella, no one is perfect and new, everyone has pieces missing. I will love every little broken piece of you."

I realized that there was a tear sliding down my cheek. I couldn't do this with Jacob. Right now, he was the closest thing I had to a friend. But, if he could never accept that we could never be more then friends, then I would lose him too.

His free hand reached up to my cheek, delicately wiping a tear away. "Bella, I don't want you to cry. You needn't shed anymore tears over him. Why can't you just put him behind you and focus on the future?" Another tear feel and he too wiped it off my cheek.

Jacob pulled back onto the road when he saw that I wasn't going to say anything more.

We pulled into my driveway, the drive seeming longer then it was. Neither of us had talked the rest of the way home.

Jacob got out of the car and walked around to my door, opening it and helping me out. Instinctively, my arms wrapped around my stomach as we walked what felt like miles to my front door. I still felt like I needed to hold myself together. I kept hoping that this was a nightmare I was going to wake up from. He would be there, holding me in his cool arms, telling me that everything was okay, reminding me how he promised he would never leave me. But, I soon came back out of that thought and realized that he was gone and only Jacob was left.

Jacob.

Jacob wasn't that bad. He was someone I could grow old with, have children with. I could be happy with Jacob. He was my best friend. Who doesn't want to marry their best friend? He said that he wasn't right for me, that I needed to be with someone normal. Jacob was someone normal. I shook that thought out of my head. I needed Jacob in my life, but only as a friend, like my brother.

When we reached my door, Jacob awkwardly pulled me into a one-arm hug. He then turned to leave. "Jacob." Slowly, he turned to face me. "I just wanted to thank you for today. I needed to get out of the house."

"Sure Bella. It's getting dark, I need to get home. But, we can do this again sometime."

"I think I would like that." I then turned and went inside, closely the door quietly, hoping Charlie wouldn't hear me getting home. I didn't want to talk to anyone else right now.

I headed upstairs to my room, slipping past Charlie without him noticing. When I got to my room, I saw that my window was wide open. I walked over to the window and pulled it shut. I was about to lock the window, but I couldn't make myself do it. What if he came back and wanted to get in but the window was locked? So, I left the window unlocked and sat down on my bed.

~ JACOB ~ JACOB ~ JACOB ~ JACOB ~

That night, he visited my dreams yet again. But this time, it was different.

We were in that meadow again, the light reflecting perfectly off his skin, looking like diamonds. I was lying in his arms, happy. He leaned down and whispered into my ear. "Bella, I can't tell you how much I love you. I will always be there for you, you just remember that. This is our meadow, our special place. We can always come here and be who we are. Remember that."

I awoke to the rising sun. This was the first time I had spent a restful night in his arms. I awoke, believing that he was trying to send me a message: "We can always come here and be who we are. Remember that." I needed to get to that meadow; I needed to somehow find it. I believed that if I were somehow able to find my way to that meadow, he would be waiting there for me, the light reflecting off his skin, his topaz eyes searching for me.

I got out of bed and walked over the window. The sun was out, another sign. Today would be a perfect day for hiking. I quickly got dressed and headed downstairs, remembering to leave a note for Charlie on the fridge just in case he got home before me. I was in too much of a hurry to bother to eat breakfast. When I met him in the meadow, he could bring me back to his house to get some breakfast.

I got into my car, remembering the route vividly. The adrenaline I was experiencing helped me tremendously. Soon enough, I found myself in the middle of the forest, trying to gauge what direction I needed to go. I had forgotten how he had used his speed to get us there quickly.

~ JACOB ~ JACOB ~ JACOB ~ JACOB ~

I had been hiking for two hours, about to give up with my hopeless search for the meadow when I saw something blur past me. It was moving so fast, I knew it must be a vampire. What other vampire besides Edward would be out in this forest? The blur came circling back around and headed forward. I followed it, hoping it could lead me to the meadow.

After trying to follow the circling blur, I stepped out into the meadow. It was our place, I had finally found it. Edward was here, leading me towards it so we could be together again, so we could be ourselves. I stood in the middle of the field, taking in its beauty once again. I could barely see the blur still circling the meadow. I was just as nervous as Edward was. He was probably trying to decide what he wanted to say to me.

Suddenly, I saw the blur coming straight towards me. In my mind, I was picturing his topaz eyes gazing at me as if trying to look into my soul. My heart began to beat out of my chest with anticipation of the approaching blur. I knew it was him. He had given me a dream, directing me here. I was about to see him, then he could explain everything to me. I'm sure I misunderstood why he had to leave.

The blur was almost here, so I slowly began to walk toward it. "Edward," I whispered, wanting so desperately for him to pull me into his arms, to hug me tight.

Suddenly, I saw a blur of red hair. "Victoria," I gasped.

"Hello Bella. Long time no see," she said, a smile overtaking her lips. Delicately, she traced her lips while staring directly at my neck. "How nice of you to join me for a snack."

A/N – sorry for a cliff hanger ending, but I thought that is was the best place to stop. I have been so busy recently, but I will try to post another chapter as soon as possible. Please review, let me hear your thoughts!! Should Edward come save her? Should Jacob save her? What should happen next? PLEASE REVIEW !!!