A/N: Here's another Chapter. They are short, I know, but I am able to get them out more quickly if I make them shorter. But I am getting kind of depressed because no one has reviewed any of the three new chapters I've posted. PLEASE REVIEW. I need help and to know how I'm doing. Give me good suggestions and you might just find my story going in the direction you suggested Happy reading.
I was still grounded for my "Edward stunt" as Charlie liked to call it. I was not allowed to see anyone but Jacob. Jacob would not answer my calls, however. Actually, we hadn't spoken since he kissed me. I wasn't mad, I was just confused. I didn't know how to respond to Jacob kissing me.
I had known about his feelings for a while. But I never believed he would actually decide to act on them. I let him hold my hand and be close to me, but I made it very clear I loved him like a brother or a best friend.
I walked into the kitchen and picked up the phone, dialing the all too familiar number. It rang four times before Billy picked up. "Hey Billy, Its Bella. . . .Again. Is Jacob there?"
"I'm sorry Bella, he's not. He's been very busy recently, but I will be sure to pass on the message."
I mumbled thanks to Billy before putting the phone back on the base. Jacob was avoiding me. But he can't just kiss me and then leave with no explanation.
It was then that I made up my mind. I knew I was still grounded, but I was going to see Jacob no matter what it took. Charlie was at work and since it was Saturday I knew he wouldn't be home until late. So, I grabbed my jacket and without a second thought, ran to my truck.
The drive up to the reservation seemed longer then I remembered. Maybe it was because my adrenaline was pumping so hard and I could barely breathe. I wasn't sure what exactly I was going to say to him when I got there, but I knew that I needed to see him.
I hated there being tension between us. He was the only friend I had left. And he understood everything that I had been through. Heck, he had even managed to save me from Victoria and Laurent.
I slowed down as I approached the turn to his house. I was second guessing myself as usual. But I had come this far, I had to at least go knock on the door. I pulled in front of Jacob's house, turned off the car, and rested my forehead on the steering wheel. I wasn't ready to go in.
Suddenly, I heard a loud banging on the driver's window. I whipped my head up only to be greeted with Jacob's angry face. I rolled down my window so I could talk to him.
"What are you doing here Bella? You can't be here."
"You weren't answering my calls. We haven't talk since you. . . you know. Jacob, please, just give me five minutes."
He rolled his eyes but backed away from the car, allowing me to get out. I quickly rolled up my window and got out. Jacob turned from me and headed towards the beach. It was so cold outside that I was shivering but I didn't care, I was going to talk to him no matter what. Slowly, I followed him.
We walked the short distance to the beach single file and in silence. I couldn't tell if he was mad at me for coming or mad at himself for ruining what progress we had made as friends.
When we got there, he just stood there, his back to me. "Jacob, please look at me, talk to me."
"I have nothing to say to you," he muttered.
"But we have to talk about what happened. Why don't you understand that?" I inquired.
"I understand now. You will always be his. I can tell you all my secrets, save your life, but it's still not enough. I will never be enough. The way you responded when I ki. . kiss. . when I kissed you showed me. Don't worry Bella, I'm out of your life. Isn't that what you've wanted all along?" He was barely whispering now. I strained my ears to listen.
Silently, a tear slid down my cheek, hanging on the edge of my chin. Soon more followed, streaking my face. "You know that's not what I want Jacob. How can you think of me like that. You are perfect Jacob. I'm just not ready for another relationship." The sound of my voice instantly gave away the fact that I was crying and Jacob whipped around to face me, pulling me into a bear hug. He buried his face in my hair. "Why are you crying?" He asked, his mouth muffled by my hair.
"I just want to move on Jacob. I don't want to lose you too." I knew the second after I said it what I was really implying. I was implying he was leaving me just like he did. I instantly regretted what I had said.
"Jake, I didn't mean it like that, you know that."
"Bella, you shouldn't be the one saying sorry. It's my fault. I should have never kissed you. I was just pushing my luck. You have given me so much and then I just took it for granted." He lifted his head up and let go of me. My tears had stopped, but I wasn't sure if I felt any better.
"So are you still not going to talk to me if you can't have me?" I asked, putting him on the spot.
"Let's just forget about that stupid kiss. I shouldn't have done it, so let's just put it in the past."
"Fine by me." He then tugged on my hand and we continued walking down the beach, just two close friends walking hand in hand.
"Jeez Bella, your hands are freezing."
"It's cold," I said through chattering teeth.
"See, there I go forgetting about your needs once again." He stopped walking, released my hand, and lifted his sweatshirt over his head, leaving him shirtless. I smirked ever so slightly at the fact that Jacob would just wear a sweatshirt with nothing on underneath. "Here you go Bells, put this on." I slid the too big hoodie over my head and Jacob one again grabbed my hand. We continued walking down the beach.
After a few minutes, I decided to be the one to break the long lasting silence between us. "Jacob, do you think Victoria is going to come back for me?"
Abruptly, he stopped walking and turned to face me. His free hand founds its way to my cheek, caressing it so carefully. "She can't get at you with the pack and I watching you. There is always someone near your house watching for a vampire. One will never be able to get through us Bella, you're safe. Stop worrying for a second. Let's just enjoy this beautiful day."
I let out a chuckle. "What' so funny Bella?" Jacob asked clueless.
"It's not a beautiful day. It's free…ee..ee..zing." I said as my teeth began chattering once again.
"Okay, point taken. Let's head back to the house for now then. I'll make you some hot chocolate."
"That sounds really nice Jacob." And with that, Jacob wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into the notch of his armpit. I felt his body heat instantly warming me. Together, we walked back to his house.