I've been on a role lately, I know, frightening that I updated twice in the same month…

The Kerl~

Chapter 11

"What if this cursed hand

Were thicker than itself with brother's blood,

Is there not rain enough in the sweet heavens

To wash it white as snow?"

– Hamlet Act 3 Scene 3, Shakespeare

Fell

Anxious, I paced in the light rain. My coat was heavy enough to keep my skin dry, but much more of this weather and I would feel the true chill of the night. My paws splashed in the shallow puddles caught by the stone surface, waiting for news from Larka. She made it clear that she would not follow my advice and run, but I had no idea who would come with her. Kar would, obviously: there was no helping that. Logically, I should have been comforted by the fact that my family wanted to stand by me. Not only would greater numbers blow the wind in our favor, but as a singular being it reassured me that I was not alone in the world.

But you are alone, my pet. You are my creature, and now that I am gone you are all alone. I doubt you could find another such as us.

"Please, Fell, you are making me dizzy. I'm sure they will be here soon." She was angry

"That's just what worries me," I mumbled.

"Oh, stop that. You're sister is perfectly capable of making her own decisions, just as you are." My restless legs paused. Cadea watched me from the corner of her eye as she sat beneath the overhang of the Stone Den. As cubs, Larka and I were frightened by the lurid stories Bran whispered to us of the place, but Cadea wanted to explore the abandoned human dwelling. As far as I knew, Morgra was the last to come to the ghostly edifice. But is she right? Am I truly as free as Larka? "Stop sulking, mud-paws, because you know that I am right."

I snorted, water droplets spraying from my muzzle. "Cadea, are you aware of the fact that the majority of the Lera dislike being called names or ordered around by females? I don't see how Rar puts up with you."

"Rar puts up with me because he has no choice in the matter, not that you care. And who are you to gripe about being bullied?" I met her question with a pointed look. Wasn't the answer obvious? "After all, you are the one ordering me around, as well as Larka and the rest of your family."

"Are you accusing me of bullying my own family?"

"Of course not. I realize that they would never let you. All I am trying to say is that for a wolf who values his freedom so dearly, I wonder why you are so eager to control the lives of everyone around you."

"Trust me when I say that I have never tried to control you. Even if I wanted to, I can't." It's because she's made you weak, Fell. You are weak, just like your sister. Cadea's laugh brought my anger to the surface and forced me to turn away to prevent a scuffle. She burrowed beneath my skin nearly as much as Morgra, but I couldn't understand why. As I seethed, I examined the sheer rock surface before me. It was curious, the location of the Stone Den, because it was situated at the base of a small mountain. Rain water streamed over the surface like a waterfall, settling in a pond at the bottom of a narrow stairway. It was beside this pond that we waited, though I could not force myself to remain still in the dry area that the entrance of the den provided. The problem with you is that you are fighting your nature. If you would listen to me instead of these senseless females you surround yourself with you would see just how foolish this entire situation is. What do you hope to accomplish by facing the Balkar head on?

The voice had a point. Am I looking for an excuse to kill? Or am I truly trying to protect my family? I could care less what happens to me, but Larka deserves her own life. So why am I dragging her into my problems? Any answers I found brought on more questions.

The answer is clear as rain – you mourn for the life you had with me as Wolfbane. Remember how you once delighted in harming the Varg. Their cries of pain sustained you more than the carcasses they brought in sacrifice. You were a god, and Larka has taken that blissful life from you. Now you resent her for it. You want to put her in harm's way because you are too soft to kill her yourself. You want the Balkar to do it for you.

No. That wasn't true. I had enjoyed my freedom to express my anger while I fed upon the fears of the Balkar, because all I had known before was the suffocation of the suppression of my anger. I'd once felt that Huttser was the catalyst and blamed him for our misfortunes, but Cadea had shown me differently. The way she challenged every word that left my mouth, the way she pushed my temper to the brink, everything she did proved to me that I was capable of controlling my anger if I wanted to. I had no desire to harm her or my family.

Or the Balkar.

I was tired of being the cause of pain in lives of my family and all around me. I had no hope of finding my own happy existence as the rest of them had, but I could begin by searching for contentment. Before I'd thought that I could find that in solitude as Kerl. Now I knew that I was not to be trusted alone with my mind. How long has Morgra's voice been taunting me inside my head? She's dead and gone, but it is as though she is still here. I can never truly let go of the past and live for the future if I allow her to continue to control me. It was time I regained full control of my life. I would trust upon my teeth and my paws, the strength of my legs, my pack, and the right of the Varg.

Calmed and collected, I cautiously made my way to my companion's side. "Care to fill me in on your plan?" I asked as nonchalantly as I could.

She eyed me skeptically before giving in. I couldn't say what she found in my eyes that reassured her, but she seemed more confident with our present situation. "When Brak came to my pack he told us that they were still waiting for some of his pack to rejoin them after scouting. The Balkar search areas individually before convening as a group at a specified location. This way they are able to search an area more thoroughly and secretively than as a massed group. I'm assuming that the wolf we saw was a scout, and that he ran to meet with Brak and the rest." She smiled ruefully at the idea.

"Why do you smile when the Balkar will soon be aware of our location?"

"That is my point exactly. The scout will have to wait for the rest of the pack to assemble, and that may not be for some time. Once the pack is assembled and ready to follow the scout we saw, they will go to where the scout saw us – not here. We saw which way the scout ran, but our trail will be cold by the time they come to track us. Even if they were able to follow, it would take some time to find the den." Her eyes rose suggestively, and my own widened as I caught her meaning.

It was a very clever idea. "We will know where they are, but they will not know where we are. You plan to take them by surprise."

She nodded, her eyes twinkling with delight. "And remember that the Balkar seek Wolfbane and not Fell. That is the key."

"I never realized there was such a distinction," I replied sarcastically, laughing at the thought that Wolfbane and I were separate entities.

She growled in laughter. "Wolfbane would never fear leaping into a fight and destroying any who challenged his power, am I right?"

"Yes, but they know that I am not truly Wolfbane."

"True, but they still believe you to be as powerful and menacing as before. The Balkar have also doubtlessly heard of Larka's survival and will assume that she will be there to aid you. They will tread cautiously and focus their attack on you, because they fear you have the greatest advantage. You must encourage them to feel this way. Make them believe that you act alone, and the moment they circle in on you will be the moment that the rest of us leap from hiding and take them by surprise." Her eyes were bright with excitement and her tail thumped the cold stone floor in anticipation. It was difficult for me to distance myself from her pulsing enthusiasm, so caught up was she in her plotting.

A smile snaked across my lips without my knowing. "It is a good plan, though it will of course depend upon who comes with Larka. We will not be able to take on the Balkar if there are only – " I trailed off as a twig snapped nearby. We waited silently as another, then another snap rang through the dreary air. I knew that anyone traveling this late and in the rain must be coming here purposefully, or else they'd have taken more care to be discreet.

"They're here."

Brak

By the time I answered the call and returned to the clearing, two of the groups had already returned. Hual sat whispering to Menduvlad, who was nearly bouncing in anticipation. If not for his stocky build (he was nearly as large as Vantr) he could have been a cub preparing for his first hunt. I addressed the nearest wolf, Gherr. "Where are Cae and Fheni?"

"We have not heard news from them, but they may have been near enough to hear the call," replied Ghaat.

I sighed. "Very well. What news do you bring?"

Ghaat's jaw fell slack as Menduvlad interrupted him. "We saw him, Brak."

Hual shook his head. "What he means to say is that I saw him. About two days run south of here, with a drappa."

"Was it Larka?"

"No, she was grey. As soon as I saw them I ran to find Menduvlad and return here. They were hunting, so the pack den cannot be too far from the meadow we found them in."

"Brak," interrupted Menduvlad, again. "Brak, Hual was too careless. They saw him."

I choked back a snarl. "Is this true?"

"Yes, but I – "

Before I could rebuke him Vantr was on his case. He had Hual pinned to the ground and the others snapping at the foolish dragga. "Your orders were not to make our presence known. For all you know the pack was nearby and they've already fled the boundaries! This is exactly what went wrong the last time. If Morgra had not tried to weasel her way into the pack we could have taken the lot by surprise and been done with it. Instead, they knew we were after them and fled before we could capture a single one. I pray you know what this has cost us, Sikla."

"Vantr, that's enough. Hopefully our search has gone unnoticed thus far and we can still reach them in time. Hual, did he recognize you?"

"I don't think – "

"Of course he didn't," growled Gherr. "If he had, Hual wouldn't be here. We still have a chance."

Vantr spoke up again. "Unless that was just what he wanted – to lure us to him. He could have gained what he could from Hual's simple mind and let him go."

I shook my head, my temple hurting as I tried to piece together the information. "No, I don't think so. The Black One has always been quick to punish. Perhaps he was caught unprepared? In which case we still have a chance of capturing him. But we must act quickly."

"Brak, what about Cae and Fheni? They aren't due back for three days." Menduvlad had a point.

"We should leave them," urged Vantr. "Three days is too long to wait. If they had any information for us they would already be here."

"Not necessarily. Gherr and I came across a Kerl who says she heard that Palla has a new litter. They are likely too young to be moved, in which case we will still have someone to question even if Fell runs."

The five males began to debate amongst themselves, some declaring that waiting would be a waste of time and others arguing that six wolves had no chance of defeating Wolfbane alone. "That's enough. We will remain here for one more day. If Cae and Fheni have not shown themselves by then we will leave for the meadow. Rest now, for we will not be stopping until I stand before Fell's lifeless corpse."

We waited, but they did not come. The Lera hid from us as we waited. When we finally departed, the cry of a lone bird rang through the night. My imagination caught a hold of me once more, and I swore the call sounded like a warning. Beware Fell.

Larka

It was unclear who was more surprised: Fell, after seeing the entire pack walk across the stone floor into the shelter of the Stone Den; or me, after seeing the obvious camaraderie developing between Fell and Cadea. I had hoped that she would teach him to control his anger, but the way his stance shifted towards protective as we approached caught me by surprise. It seems as though he's learned to tolerate her. And he said he would kill her! Perhaps Fell wasn't quite as lost as he believed.

Once he reassured himself that we were no threat, he stood to greet Huttser and turned to me. "It is good to see you, Sister."

"And you, Brother." I wanted to tease him for bringing Cadea back in one piece, but now was not the time, and there was something I'd been itching to ask him. "Fell…how were you able to communicate with me from so far away? It wasn't the same as what's happened before, but I could still hear your voice very clearly." If this was something we could control…

He shook his head. "I don't really know. Perhaps we are only limited as much as we would be using a Helper? It is not important now. Cadea will explain our plan, if you are all sure that you want to do this. I know it will be nearly impossible to send you away myself."

Skop yipped his approval. Kar sat and pressed against me. His bright eyes showed just how pleased he was with Fell's mood. "We are with you to the end, Brother. We would not have come otherwise."

Huttser's fur bristled. "We will do what we should have done when the Balkar came before. No more scampering about the country like frightened Herla."

"I'm glad you agree Huttser. Here is what Fell and I have discussed…" Cadea went on to explain how she suspected that we would have a few days to prepare before Brak and his followers found us. She planned to use Fell as bait to lure them to an area that would be difficult to escape from yet easy to ambush. "Larka, you and Fell will need to rely upon your new ability in order for us to do this properly." Fell nodded in agreement, but I did not understand what was expected of me.

"What do you mean?"

"The Balkar will catch the scent of any wolf who goes to the meadow with me," clarified Fell. "I will have to go on my own while you and the rest of the pack wait some distance away. When I call for you, then we will spring the trap. This will be the only way to take them unawares."

Cadea nodded. "We hope the scout that we saw ran off before he discovered where you all were. If this is the case, when they see Fell alone they will think that I've hid myself nearby. As long as they cannot smell you, they will not be expecting an additional eight wolves to join in the brawl."

"But this relies entirely upon Fell's ability to speak with Larka – what if something goes wrong?" Palla worried aloud.

Fell turned to me again. "We will need to practice our control, but so far our need is what allows us to communicate. Do you agree?" I nodded, sure that if we were unable to summon the power when we wanted, Fell's dire predicament would aid us.

Kar nudged my shoulder and my head cocked in his direction. "I'm sure that Cadea and I may be able to find additional help, as well."

"The more eyes, the better," I replied with a smile. "I only beg Tor they are willing."

"Have you found others to stand against the Night Hunters?"

"No Fell, but Kar… we were right about why it is more difficult to use the Sight. Kar can speak to the birds as well."

"Fenris," he swore under his breath. "How many others will be touched, do you think? This is very bad news."

Khaz spoke up for the first time. "But I thought that Cadea and Kar could only speak to the birds? What is wrong with that?"

"Oh Khaz, how I wish you'd been in my pack several moons ago." Khaz was confused so Cadea continued. "Communicating with birds is a part of the Sight, and some fear that this ability will not be the only one to spread through the Varg. No, your brother is right to be wary of this change. Imagine what it would be like if the Varg could see the future as a collective." I shuddered. Kar shifted against me to lick the space between my ears to calm me.

"The future has no place in the present," I whispered against Kar's chest.

Huttser's agitation with the topic of conversation grew too great and he was ready to move. "I think it is time we left for the meadow. We don't know how long it will take for the Balkar to act, and the more time we have to plan our attack, the better our chances will be." Everyone but Fell stood. "Fell?"

"I…" he hesitated, staring at his paws before looking to Cadea and finally me. The depth of his eyes caught me off guard and I gasped. He shook his head as though he were struggling with conflicting thoughts. "I don't want to hurt them?" It came out as a question, but suddenly his face set into a firm expression. He'd made up his mind and overcome whatever internal struggle had been bothering him. "No, I don't want to fight the Balkar. There has already been too much bloodshed because of me. If it can be helped we will not fight them."

"And if it cannot be helped?" asked Palla.

"If it cannot be helped…then we will put an end to Morgra's reign once and for all. She is dead – we need to let go in order for the wounds to heal."

It was decided that we would do what we could to dissuade the Balkar from fighting before anyone attacked. With that in mind, the pack followed Fell to the meadow.

Another short one, but they get done this way, and that should make you happy. It makes me happy :D

And so do reviews!