Wow...thanks for the reviews you guys. And also thank you so much for reading. I know it may seem bleak right now, but I promise...the end result will be Ryan, Kelsi and lots of happiness.
Present Day, Chicago
BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP
Kelsi burrowed deeper into the quilt on her bed and threw her pillow over her head, hoping the down feathers would drown out the sound of her alarm. Unfortunately feathers were no match for an alarm that got louder with each passing "beep". Kelsi's blue eyes peeked out from under her covers as she stared at her alarm in frustration. She knew the time said 7:08...am. Not because she could actually see the time (her glasses were sitting on her nightstand), but because that was the time she got up every morning...well, except Saturdays and Sundays, those were her days off. Kelsi haphazardly reached her arm towards her dresser, stretching to her full capacity as she attempted to swat at her alarm. She tried this every morning, and it never worked. That never however stopped her from the traditional attempt. Giving up, Kelsi threw her covers off and swung her legs to the side of the bed. She gave a wayward smile as she felt her bare feet touch air. One of these days she was going to find a bed whose height allowed her feet to actually feel the floor while sitting on the mattress. Kelsi quickly turned off the alarm and reached for her glasses. Now that she could see she walked across her small studio apartment to the small galley kitchen. First necessary task was starting her morning tea. Once her hot water was in the to-go mug, tea bag in place, Kelsi made her way to the bathroom. Kelsi winced as she caught her reflection in the bathroom mirror, her long curling brown hair resembled a hastily put together birds nest, her blue eyes were red-rimmed and puffy and her complexion was in vital need of color. Kelsi saw a wistful smile touch her lips as she thought, "Oddly enough this was always Ryan's favorite look, he always called it cute and disheveled." Kelsi quickly did her best to shake off the memory and the accompanying pang in her heart. She had been doing so well, she hadn't thought about her lost love in...almost a week. Alright that was a total lie, but she wasn't about to admit it. Hoping that a shower would wash off the memories that seemed to pop up without warning, Kelsi quickly jumped in, letting out a loud "Eek!" when the cold water hit her square in the face.
Kelsi's shower was cut short by the ring of her cell phone. Stubbing her toe while attempting to flee the shower Kelsi let out a curse. Wrapped only in a towel that wasn't doing much to soak up the moisture, Kelsi went on a frantic search for her phone, before finally finding it on the coffee table next to her love seat.
"Hello?" Kelsi asked in a frazzled voice, placing her toe on the coffee table to examine the damage.
"Kelsi? Are you alright?" The voice on the other end asked.
Kelsi felt a genuine smile touch her lips as she recognized the voice. Quickly forgetting about her sore toe, Kelsi sat down on the small sofa for a semi-lengthy conversation.
"Martha, God, it's good to hear your voice. What's up?" Kelsi asked, relishing the action of talking to her best friend.
"Well, I was calling because I have some news. But I'll keep it short, I know you have to high tail it to work." Martha's warm voice responded.
Kelsi felt excitement build within her body at the words "good" and "news". Martha and Jason had been married for about six months, surprising all of their friends by eloping, could it be a baby Cross was on the way.
"Oh, please, don't worry about time, you'd be amazed at how fast I can get ready. Now tell me more about this good news. Does this surprise take about nine months to hatch per chance?" Kelsi asked, a smile lightening her tone.
Kelsi's question was answered with some bawdy laughter, before Martha could catch her breath enough to respond.
"Kels, please we have only been married for 6 months. Give us a little time for newlywed bliss before you bring a baby into the picture. Our news revolves around us moving from New York." Martha teased, almost picturing Kelsi's mouth dropping open in possible excitement.
Kelsi's mouth opened to form a small "O" as she started to perceive where this conversation was going. She didn't want to get her hopes up though. Martha and Jason had moved out to New York a little over a year ago. Martha had immediately found work as a choreographer, while Jason was directing independent films with a group of friends. Kelsi didn't think they would ever leave the little island, but apparently things change.
"No way! Please tell me this isn't some attempt at a supposedly funny joke?" Kelsi asked, her pitch rising with each passing word.
"Now why my friend, would I ever be that cruel." Martha paused dramatically before continuing. "Jason and I are moving to Chicago!" She exclaimed, her excitement almost surpassing Kelsi's.
Kelsi let out a scream that was sure to wake her neighbors, but frankly she didn't care, two of her best friends were going to be living within close vicinity to her.
"Ohmigod...I can't believe it! What happened? How? Why? Thank God!" Kelsi rambled excitedly, not quite able to form a coherent thought aloud.
Martha started laughing hysterically, she had so missed her friend.
"You had better believe it, because it's true. I am joining the touring company for "Mary Poppins" and we are stationed in Chicago for 6 long months. And Jason and I are thinking of staying on once the show leaves. I mean there's tons of work in Chicago and J and I are ready for a change of pace." Martha explained.
Kelsi stopped listening the moment she heard the words "Mary Poppins." Not because she was a huge fan of the show, she had never even seen it...Kelsi's brain focused on the reason she had never seen the show. Or more to the point, the actor who was playing the male lead.
"Mary Poppins is coming here?" Kelsi quickly continued before Martha could respond. "Is R-Ryan coming here?" Kelsi asked, feeling a flood of insecurity sweep her body the moment the question was out.
It only took Martha about three seconds to answer, but to Kelsi it seemed like three years.
"Yes, he is Kels." Martha hurried to add, "And I know he would really love to see you."
Kelsi felt like all of the careful walls she had built around her heart and soul had started to crumble. She could actually picture the mental image of herself scrambling to pick up all of the pieces to build the wall back up. And whereas Kelsi experienced waves of familiar insecurities and fear, she didn't feel the same sense of panic she used to feel when someone merely mentioned Ryan's name. In the past two years Kelsi had worked at creating a life for herself. At first it had seemed so hard, she couldn't even make it a day without completely breaking down emotionally due to the loss of Ryan from her life. And then one day, the pain wasn't as excruciating. That was when Kelsi started noticing that every day got a little easier. There would still be the bad days when she would just want to stay in bed all day and cry. And on those days, she would let herself cry, she always allowed herself to mourn when the need arose. And after a while, she didn't experience those days as much...until they didn't plague her at all. Kelsi let herself take a few deep breaths as she really contemplated the thought of possibly seeing Ryan again. While still nerve racking, it wasn't inconceivable...anymore. It wasn't exactly something she would volunteer to do, but she could do it. Kelsi let out a small laugh as she recognized the breakthrough she had just encountered. Martha chose that moment to speak up. God, Kelsi had completely forgotten she was still on the phone.
"Kelsi? Are you still there? Are you okay? Please say something...and why did you just laugh?"
Kelsi shook off her recent revelation as she focused on Martha's voice and questions.
"I-I'm fine Martha." Kelsi quickly spared the clock above her stove a glance. "Oh crap...I have to go. I'll call you later okay? I am beyond thrilled that you and Jase are moving here." Kelsi finished rapidly, knowingly skipping the Ryan-centered conversation for now.
Martha knew Kelsi too well not to be aware of the small girl's need to change the subject.
"Sounds good Kels. I can't wait to see you. Have a good day." Martha said, her natural warmth reaching through the phone to Kelsi.
"You too Martha. Love you." Kelsi said, wrapping up the conversation.
"Love you too! Bye." Martha said.
"Bye." Kelsi said quickly before flipping her phone shut.
Kelsi snapped her focus back to the present. She had to get to work. There would be plenty of time later to rethink her conversation with Martha...and consider the possible ramifications of Ryan being in Chicago. She didn't know all that much about what had happened to him in the last two years. Her friends were aware of her need to move on, so they didn't force any knowledge on her. She knew he was circulating the Broadway scene as a popular choreographer and actor. She also knew he had married and divorced Amanda. After Kelsi had heard about his marriage, she had started separating herself from any knowledge that was directly related to Ryan. The painful realization that he had actually gone through with the marriage, especially to someone as mean spirited as Amanda, had made Kelsi seriously doubt if she had ever known him at all. In Kelsi's mind, his marriage ended up being a blessing to her though, for that was the action that really forced her to move on. Ryan's wedding day was the official day Kelsi gave up hope...on him.
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Kelsi attempted to bury herself as deep in her coat as possible. She had experienced plenty of winters in New York, but her body still couldn't adjust to the frigid weather. As Kelsi glanced around at the various people waiting on the train platform with her, it was easy to recognize she wasn't alone in regards to her dislike of the cold. She kept her hands wrapped around her tea mug, willing the heat from the scalding liquid to penetrate through the layers of plastic mug and knit mittens...it didn't seem to be working though. Kelsi spared a quick "thank you" to the sky above as she noticed the elevated train making it's way towards her stop. The train system in Chicago, or "el" as it was affectionately called had taken some getting used to for the young composer. Kelsi had spent four years traveling the underground subway system of New York. In Chicago, their equivalent to a subway was an elevated train system, with the tracks raised up above the streets and even some apartments. The el didn't go underground until you traveled into the heart of the city, where all of the sky scrapers were. Kelsi used the train every day to get to work.
Once settled in the train, Kelsi let her thoughts drift to the possibility of seeing Ryan again. In all honesty, she had figured eventually their paths would cross...she just hadn't given much thought as to when the inevitable would take place. It seemed fate wasn't going to give her much time to think on it at all, Ryan was coming to Chicago, whether she was ready or not. Pushing the thoughts of Ryan to the back of her mind, Kelsi allowed her mind to drift to the two children eagerly awaiting her arrival.
It was impossible not to smile when she thought of Lauren and Matthew. She had been with the family for just over two years now. Lauren was an adorable and loving five year old. She had the innate ability to light up a room the moment she walked through the door. With her bright red hair and shining green eyes, she was picture perfect. Matthew was a rambunctious three year old. Whereas his sister pranced into a room, Matthew stomped. He had the most infectious giggle Kelsi had ever heard. Matthew had light brown hair, sparkling blue eyes and a grin that seemed to say "my middle name is Trouble." When Kelsi had decided to take a job as a nanny, she was thinking of it as just that...a job. She had no idea she was going to fall in love. And fall in love she did. Part of the reason her heart was able to heal from the loss of Ryan was because little by little, every single day, that same heart was filled by the two children she spent her days with.
As Kelsi thought of Lauren and Matthew a natural and genuine smile fell across her features. Kelsi wasn't even aware of the picture she made...the beautiful picture. But a man on the train noticed. A man with shining blond hair and sky blue eyes who sat directly out of Kelsi's line of vision...but she wasn't out of his.
Ryan had thought he was hallucinating when a woman who looked exactly like Kelsi stepped onto the train. Though he knew Kelsi lived in Chicago, he never imagined he would randomly run into her in the large city. At first he wasn't even sure it was really her, it was kind of hard to tell due to her being completely buried in her winter clothing. Her navy blue pea coat hit her mid thigh; an extremely long cream colored knit scarf was wrapped around her neck and the lower part of her face. A matching knit hat was smothering what looked like a riot of brown curls, leaving a fall of brown locks tumbling half way down her back. Her hands were covered by yet more matching knit-wear, these in the form of mittens that looked to be holding onto a cup he bet was containing tea. He was secretly grateful Kelsi didn't seem to be aware of his presence...if it even was in fact Kelsi. It gave him the unique opportunity to not only study her, but to also become adjusted to seeing her again.
As Ryan watched her unwrap her scarf, there was no doubt in his mind that this extremely tiny girl was his ex-best friend. He felt his breath catch as he saw the lovely smile that fell upon her lips. Ryan couldn't help but wonder what or whom would put a smile like that on her face. He was surprised to feel a twinge of what he guessed was jealousy flow through his body. He couldn't make out her eyes too well from his vantage point, all he could see were her glasses. But he didn't need to see her eyes, he remembered them all too well. They had seemed to haunt him for the last two years.
The loss of Kelsi in his life had been devastating to Ryan. He often thought back to that infamous night at his house...the last night he had ever talked to Kelsi. He wished more than anything he could go back in time and live out that night with the knowledge he now had. That was the night Ryan Evans had chosen the wrong girl. And the most frustrating aspect of the situation was, he knew it. Even then, that night...he had known Amanda was the wrong choice. But he had been afraid. He had made a promise to Amanda and didn't want to back out, no scrap that, he didn't have the courage to back out. Shock didn't even begin to cover what Ryan felt when Kelsi started questioning him concerning his feelings for her and his thoughts on their future...together. Kelsi had always been his friend, his best friend, his go-to, the person he could share everything with. The idea that there was possibly something more than friendship to their relationship scared the crap out of him. It had all happened so fast, and then when you added Amanda into the mix, it was too much. So instead of facing the situation, Ryan had hidden from it. He had made the easy choice, he had chosen to marry Amanda. In reality, that wasn't the easy choice at all. There had been nothing easy about Amanda. She had been unhappy the moment they were married...partially because he was unhappy. Because even then, he had known he was marrying the wrong girl. What made the situation even more tragic was that the right girl was still there, in the back of his mind and in the forefront of his heart. He just hadn't realized it in time. Or more to the point, when he was finally able to admit the truth to himself, he had to face the realization that he was too late.
So Ryan had done what he could to salvage his broken heart. He had divorced Amanda. He wasn't a husband to her. And she had started looking elsewhere for attention she wasn't getting from him. She knew he didn't love her. In a raging argument she had even admitted that she had known Ryan had loved Kelsi all along; she just didn't want to loose him to "a spineless wallflower." Ryan had known the truth though, Kelsi was anything but "spineless". She had stood up for her feelings, she had confided in him, and he hadn't been able to give her what she so desperately wanted in return...his love.
Ryan's attention shifted from his memories to the present when he saw Kelsi get up and walk towards the sliding doors of the train car. Knowing what a rare opportunity fate had dealt him, Ryan's reflexes jumped to action as he inconspicuously followed Kelsi off the train.