DISCLAIMER: Nope. I don't own anything except the ideas (and even some of those are really my best friend's…). I don't own LotR, ToS or anything of the sort. Sorry to inconvenience you.

I should think you long-time readers would know by now. So…on with the show. I mean chapter.

"Are you sure it's 'nothing'?" asked Kvar. "I need to be absolutely sure…"

"Nothing, and I said nothing! SO HERE GOES NOTHING!" screamed Magnius.

"Jeez, sorry, it was just a question," muttered Kvar.

Forcystus hissed. "I neeeeeeeeeeds the ring."

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!!!!"

"No!"

"Sméagol," said Kvar calmly, "I'm afraid you will never get the ring like that."

"What?! But my precious!" wailed Forcystus.

"Who, me or the ring?"

"The ring, duh," said Forcystus.

"Ok then."

"Come, you pajama-wearing fool!" ordered Magnius angrily. "Off we go to fight Sam!"

"Do we have to FIGHT him?" whined Kvar. "I mean, he will be our savior and everything."

"Well, according to the Summon Spirit Rulebook, it just so happens that the Summon Spirits must first fight the pact-maker, and then the pact-maker must make a vow."

"So what are we going to vow?"

"Um…that we will forever rid the world of Zelos?"

"What's wrong with Zelos?"

"You know, he's a perv and all…and then he is a jerk and he called us ugly…"

"But we are ugly," said Kvar.

"Shut up."

"Well, we can't deny what's true."

"Fermez la bouche," said Magnius. "That's French for 'shut up.'"

"You can speak French?"

"No. I'm bloody British."

"Oh yeah."

"Is it time for tea?"

"What's up with tea? I mean come on. It's just a freakin' beverage. Why do you like tea so much? Or is it just that British people like tea because they can't afford Coca-Cola?"

"Silence, fool," said Magnius. "Now into the temple we go."

So the two companions entered the Temple of Earth. They abruptly ran into Pronyma. "Why hello," she purred. "How are you today?"

"What's it to you, harpy?" demanded Kvar.

"YOU'RE HURTFUL!" wailed Pronyma, who was then hit with a hammer.

"What the…"

Colette appeared from the shadows, her eyes glowing an eerie red. "Come out, come out, wherever you are," she sang in a possessed voice.

"Oh no," said Pronyma.

"There you are!" said Colette crazily. "I missssssssssssssssssed yooooooouuuuuuuuuu…"

"No! Get away from me! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" But it was too late. Hammers rained down from the heavens, and they weren't normal hammers either! Oh, no! They were WINGED HAMMERS OF THE APOCOLYPSE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! SHRIEK! OH NO! WAIL! GASP! OMG!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-A Genis Moment, Part 2-

"What Do You Mean, You've Come To Steal My Soul?"

Genis frowned. "Rodyle, what is this?"

"Eh…it appears to be an enchanted mirror."

"I…HAVE…COME…TO…STEAL…YOUR…SOUL…"

"Well, you can't be very good at it. The point of stealing is to not tell anyone about it," said Genis with an annoyed air.

"IT…MATTERS…NOT…I…WILL…STEAL…YOUR…SOUL…"

"No you won't! You may very well snatch my soul away, but you won't STEAL it. You mirrors are all the same. You can't tell the difference between stealing and snatching."

The mirror twitched, which is weird, because it's an inanimate object. "WHO…GIVES…A…SHIT…I…WILL…STEAL…YOUR…SOUL…"

"Oh, shut UP! INDIGNATION JUDGMENT!!!" (A/N: OMG, I got that spell today, and it rocks! Too bad it can't become a permanent Tech TT My life is pointless)

The mirror died. The next talking inanimate object was brought before Genis, Lord of All That is in Tethe'alla and/or Sylvarant. "I…HAVE…COME…FOR…"

"Oh, let me guess. My soul?"

"Well…yes," said the teapot sheepishly. "But if you already know, then…you know…I guess my life is pointless…"

"Yeah, basically it is," said Genis boredly. "Anyway, I suppose I'll have to kill you for your impotence. See ya." With that, Genis cast Cyclone and the teapot was destroyed.

"Sir, perhaps that was a bit…violent?"

"Well of course, Rodyle. Of course. Anyway, I suppose I'd better go check on the captured Crush Tortoises. They will soon become my army."

"Your…army, my lord?"

"Yep. I heard that cute pink-haired chick Presea is trying to take over the world. Well, I can't have that happen, so I will rule it with her."

"WITH her?"

"Yeah! She's to CUTE to kill," said Genis, and then went off to check on the Crush Tortoises.

-What Kratos Was Doing-

Kratos, who was basically doing something different every time we visit him, was now dressed in his "Judgment" title clothing and walking through Luin. "Hmmm…ya know, something's MISSING," he said to himself. "Wait a minute!" He pulled out a bottle of ketchup, walked over to the statue of Raine, and began to put the ketchup all over it, laughing maniacally. (A/N: Sorry, Rin (she knows who she is!), but I actually forgot what I was going to have Kratos do, so if you could remind me I will put that idea in a different chapter…) "There we go!" He threw the ketchup bottle away. The bottle hit a little child and the child abruptly died. Kratos went on, whistling merrily to himself.

-Back With Our "Heroes" And Pronyma-

Pronyma was twitching and bleeding on the floor. "Oh…it hurts…" she rasped. "Such…PAIN…"

Kvar heard a "cheep, cheep!" from somewhere. So he ignored the twitching Pronyma and went over to investigate. "Magnius! Over here!" he called.

"What is it?"

"Look."

A little baby blue jay sat on the floor, cheeping and fluttering its wings hither and thither. Both half-elves said, "Aaaaaaaaaaw."

BUT SUDDENLY IT LAUNCHED ITSELF UPWARD AND BEGAN TO PECK THEIR EYES OUT! THE TWO SCREAMED IN PAIN AND IT WAS ALL LIKE, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!" BUT THE BLUE JAY WAS UPON THEM! MAGNIUS MADE A BREAK FOR IT, AND THE BLUE JAY LEFT KVAR AND BEGAN TO FOCUS ON MAGNIUS ALONE!

Half an hour later, the blue jay left, leaving the bleeding people behind. "I'm blind," wailed Kvar, "I'm blind."

Someone bent down over them. "Hello."

It was Yuan.

Yuan looked over at Pronyma. "Hey, Pronyma."

Pronyma stood up. "What is it, Lord Yuan?"

"Um…do you want a sammich?"

"What?!"

"Ok!" Yuan smiled widely and handed her a sandwich. "Eat it alllllllllllll up!" he said.

Pronyma did as she was told. "Waitaminute…I'm lactose intolerant." There was a moment of silence and then Pronyma ran off.

"Probably off to tell her friends," said Yuan proudly. "Now then…would you like a sammich?" He thought for a minute, and then said, "Lei amerebbe un sammich?"

"What?" asked Kvar stupidly.

"I was speaking Italian." He paused, and then repeated, "Parlavo l'italiano."

Magnius was now conscious, and he looked up at Yuan. "Essere tranquillo, bastardo." ("Be quiet, bastard." Well, literally it's "To be calm, bastard" but, ya know, not everything can be literal.)

"You speak Italian?"

"Of course not, I'm bloody British," said Magnius.

"Oh," said Yuan. "Well, in any case, arrivederci!" He disappeared.

"That…was weird."

Magnius did not listen to his pajama-clad sidekick, for he had just found something wonderful.

To be continued…

Well, for those of you who are wondering, I can't actually speak Italian. I got it from a translation site. So that's why it's not as accurate as it could be. Well, bye…and by the way…GENIS AND KRATOS ROCK! (well, so does everyone else but they are the best) And now, I bid you farewell! More Pronyma bashing in the next chapter!!!!!