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My high as a kite, scattered brain tries to make sense of what is happening around me. After listening to what Sue had to say, I knew I was going home. Home, is Forks Washington, where I could finally get my life back. Sue said they were leaving tonight and will be here by morning. It's been over five years since anyone in Forks has seen or even heard from me, besides my father.
I knew this day would come, I just didn't expect how much compassion I would actually feel for Sue.
After all those years of tormenting her, trying to make her leave my father. When she finally cracked, Sue went to the psycho ward and my dad sent me packing to Seattle.
Renee was in Seattle.
I find it funny someone once told me a mother's love was unconditional. When it comes to Renee, her mothering abilities were not implanted into her DNA.
Six months ago, I hit what I thought was the lowest point in my life.
Everyone always said that if you need help just ask. Well, that's exactly what I did, I asked Renee to help me find some kind of treatment place so that I could get better. I believe her response was like, 'I've already done my job with you, now help yourself'. Yup that's my mother, good old Renee, spends more time worrying about her boyfriend Phil than her own daughter.
What will they say?
Who cares, I need me back and that's all that matters.' I tell myself.
It will be like a fresh start. A renewed Bella. I try to convince myself as I plop down on my bed, which is merely the living room couch with pillows and a comforter thrown on it. Then biggest reminder of what I'm leaving behind slides out of my pillowcase, like Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk. Nicely cleaned, silver picture frame of him. Smiling in just that way, the one that could make any girl's panties go up in flames.
Gliding my fingertips across the image of his beautiful face, I lie down on my bed and close my eyes.
Flickers of memories flash in my mind… us at the amusement park, July fireworks, our picnics, wrestling on Rosalie's living room floor, my birthday, the night I 'borrowed' his Hummer, then the night that changed everything, at the rock quarry.
A glutton for punishment I think about what he will do if when he out I'm leaving Seattle for good, never to return again.
Will he be happy?
Or will he go crazy just as I have?
I know he still needs me, she couldn't have moved in on his heart that fast.
I don't know how I'm going to do this but I need to know.
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