Hi you guys! So, I wasn't planning on starting this chapter with our dynamic duo...or foursome, still on the sledding hill. But I found that I didn't want to miss out on any possible interaction between our favorite couple. (And I am not referring to Lauren and Matthew, even though they are adorable.) Oh, and I would like to say thank you to little Matty, for deciding to nap, so that I could start writing this chapter while at work. (It's like he knows he is a part of my inspiration...so supportive.) Also, thank you so much for reading and reviewing. All of you are simply marvelous.
Ryan could practically see his life flashing before his eyes as he zoomed down the hill. He didn't necessarily know what he was doing. It wasn't like there was a steering wheel on the sled. The only thing he could logically think to do was hold on for dear life....and scream. And oh, was he screaming.
Kelsi, Lauren and Matthew stood on the top of the hill, watching in wonder as Ryan neared the bottom. Kelsi was trying to control her laughter, she didn't know Ryan's voice could reach that high of a pitch. Lauren's mouth was hanging open in shock. She didn't understand why Ryan was so scared, it was just a sled...on a hill. She honestly couldn't grasp what the big deal was. And Matthew was jumping up and down impatiently, waiting until Kelsi gave him the okay to meet Ryan at the bottom of the hill. When Ryan's sled finally slowed to a stop, the trio watching on the top of the hill kept waiting for him to jump off the sled. But he didn't. He just sat there, gripping the edges of the "silver bullet" and not moving a muscle. Kelsi hoped he wasn't going into shock. God, now she was starting to feel bad about pushing him into trying something new.
"Kelsi, why isn't Ryan moving?" Matthew asked innocently, verbalizing Kelsi's previous thoughts.
"Do you think he's okay Kels Bells?" Lauren asked, joining on the worried band wagon.
Kelsi's blue eyes were growing wide with worried confusion, as she watched Ryan's continued act of stillness.
"Come on kiddos, let's head down there and check on him." Kelsi said, forcing the calm into her voice.
Kelsi and the kids easily situated themselves onto the remaining sled, before racing down the hill. Kelsi wasn't able to find any of her usual excitement out of the ride, she was too wrought with fear. It was not like Ryan to remain so motionless. As soon as the sled slowed to a reasonable pace, Kelsi rolled off, letting the kids continue their ride across the snowbanks. Kelsi half walked, half crawled through the snow until she reached Ryan. He just sat there, staring straight ahead, blue eyes wide, his breath coming out in short rapid bursts. Kelsi knelt in front of him, resting her mitten covered hands gently on his bent knees as she looked into his eyes, trying to breach the silence.
"Ryan? Ryan, can you hear me? Are you okay?" Kelsi asked, no longer trying to disguise her fear. "I am so sorry I convinced you to go down the hill. I-I should have listened to you when you said you didn't want to and just accepted your answer. I promise I will make it up to you, but you have to speak first...or look at me. Can you do that Ry? Can you look at me?"
Ryan felt like he could hear someone's voice coming from the far recesses of his mind. There seemed to be an overwhelming whooshing sound that wanted to override the familiar voice. Ryan was self aware enough to know he was in shock. It just seemed he was unable to bring himself back to reality.
Matthew and Lauren watched as Kelsi hunched over Ryan, trying to get him to respond to her. Lauren was starting to latch on to the worry that was radiating from Kelsi's body. She didn't understand what had happened or why Ryan was acting so funny, but she was starting to become a teeny, tiny bit scared.
Matthew on the other hand, wasn't all that worried. And in his three-year old mind he knew just how to handle the present dilemma. With no thought or warning, Matthew's little toddler body started trudging through the snow. He fell a few times and that was a little frustrating, but he knew he had to keep going. By Firetruck...he had a purpose! And with that said purpose firmly in mind, he launched himself at Ryan's body, easily tackling a distracted Ryan into the fluffy white snow.
Kelsi watched helplessly as Ryan was hurdled down to the ground by a mini-human steamroller. Her brief moments of dueling shock, anger and worry gave way to laughter the moment she saw that Matthew's tactic had worked and Ryan was definitely back in the present.
Ryan looked up in surprise at the baby toothed face peering down at him. Matthew's features seemed to take up all of Ryan's vision, as he worked to shake off the rest of the shock that had taken over his body only moments before.
"Hi Matthew." Ryan said, not really knowing exactly what a person does when they find themselves pinned in the wet snow by a toddler caught somewhere between baby and boy.
"Hi Ryan, you better now?" Matthew asked, a bit of drool escaping from his lower lips.
Ryan turned his face in the nick of time. He had come to really like Matthew, but that didn't mean he was ready to be given an impromptu bath in baby drool. "I'm great buddy. Thanks for helping me out there."
Matthew transformed his tackle into a hug, as he tucked his fleece covered head under Ryan's chin. Ryan felt the little boy's tiny, chubby arms grasp both sides of his coat as he squeezed. Ryan actually felt his breath catch, and not in discomfort. He had never really been hugged by a child before...without any coaxing from anyone else. This little boy was openly hugging him...because he wanted to. Ryan was surprised to find moisture filling his eyes.
Kelsi watched the scene unfolding with wonder. As she felt Lauren drop gently into her lap, she shared a little cuddle with her favorite girl as she watched Matthew start to thaw a part of Ryan's heart she hadn't been aware was frozen. Kelsi dropped a kiss on top of Lauren's head, taking a moment to nuzzle her nose into the little girl's escaping red curls. No doubt about it, there was something so special about children and the feelings they were able to awaken in a person. And not just any children...these children. Lauren and Matthew just seemed to embody the meaning of loving.
Ryan sat up, levering his body out of the snow, while still holding on to Matthew. He gently shifted the boy around and found himself face to face with a similarly positioned Kelsi and Lauren. The couple just stood there staring at each other, both of them holding onto the knowledge that this was a special moment.
Kelsi was the first one to break the silence.
"I'm sorry I pressured you to sled Ryan. I never would have, had I know how it would...effect you." Kelsi apologized earnestly.
"No worries Kels. It was actually...fun." Ryan supplied, a sheepish smile tracing his lips.
Kelsi looked at Ryan is disbelief, not even attempting to school her expression.
"Fun? Yeah right...I would describe your trip down the hill as many things, but fun is definitely not on the list."
Lauren decided to interject before Ryan could summon up a response.
"Yeah, you were screaming way too loud for us to actually believe you liked it."
Ryan had the grace to blush, a tad bit embarrassed by Lauren's comment. He had remembered yelling. But he would have definitely classified his noise making as "yelling" not "screaming"..."Yelling" just had a more manly ring to it.
"I wouldn't say I was necessarily screaming, I think yelli-"
Ryan was promptly interrupted by Lauren.
"No, you were screaming...and your voice was reaching to really high levels. I actually didn't know boys could talk so high." Lauren said, putting the last part of her half questioning statement to Kelsi.
Kelsi was struggling not to crack a smile. Lauren was unknowingly, and quite innocently, insulting Ryan's manhood.
"I don't think it was quite that high-" Kelsi started, attempting to cushion Ryan's pride.
"No, he screams high like this..." Matthew added, and then went about imitating Ryan's scream.
At that point it was impossible for Kelsi not to laugh. As she looked up at Ryan, she saw that he was also having difficulty keeping a straight face. Soon enough, all four of them were laughing uproariously.
"This was the most fun sledding adventure ever!" Lauren said. "I am so glad you came Ryan."
Kelsi looked at Ryan expectantly.
"Oh, I meant to ask you Ryan...how did you find out about this? I mean us sledding?" Kelsi asked, realization dawning when she noticed Ryan and Lauren seeming to have a nonverbal communication of sorts. "I see. A little birdie named Lauren told you where we would be?"
"Are you mad Kelsi?" Lauren asked, her brow furrowed and her green eyes wide with unsuppressed worry.
Kelsi shifted her gaze from Lauren to Ryan and Matthew. She took in Ryan's steady gaze and the natural way he cradled Matthew's hands as he held the small boy comfortably in his lap. Kelsi returned her gaze to Lauren, giving the 5 year old a loving and reassuring hug.
"I'm not mad Lady Bug. Actually I'm quite...grateful." Kelsi whispered the last word, and shyly lifted her slightly bewildered eyes to Ryan's delighted ones.
"And I am ecstatic!" Ryan excitedly announced to Lauren, earning a blush from Kelsi and bursts of laughter from the kids.
Kelsi was about to respond, when she felt a quick gust of cold wind hit her face harshly. She innately sheltered Lauren's face from the oncoming wind.
"I hate to bust up this party kids, but I think we should start to head home. The wind is picking up, the sun is starting to set and we still have a brief walk home." Kelsi made the statement knowing it was time to leave, but not really wanting to. The day had been an unexpected and wonderful surprise.
Kelsi's announcement had an immediate "no" response from the kids and a disappointed one from Ryan. Ryan knew Kelsi was right, he was just hesitant to end such a perfect day. As much as he would enjoy spending time at the hotel with Sharpay, it wouldn't come close to comparing to this.
Kelsi was quick to react to the kids.
"I know guys. I am sad to leave too. But maybe if we get home in time, we can make cookies for dessert tonight." Kelsi said, hoping the promise would cushion the disappointment.
"Oooo...can we make some as big as our heads?" Lauren asked, always loving it when Kelsi allowed them to create giant cookies as a special treat.
"Yay!!!! Cookies as big as my head!" Matthew chorused, in ready agreement with his sister.
Kelsi could not help but laugh at the kids excitement.
"I think we may be able to manage that." Kelsi said, helping Lauren to stand, before working her own way off the ground.
Matthew was fast to scoot off Ryan's lap. The promise of cookies had an almost magical effect on the little guy.
Kelsi turned to face Ryan.
"You were a completely unexpected surprise today Mr. Evans." Kelsi paused, taking a moment to break eye contact before resuming contact and conversation. "And I am so glad you were able to share the day with us." Kelsi finished, two rosy beacons of color shining brightly on her cheeks...a blush that had nothing to do with the cold weather.
Ryan looked at Kelsi, varying emotions crossing his features.
"The pleasure was all mine Kels. It was in all honesty, this was one of the best days I have ever had." Ryan then shifted his gaze to the kids. "And thank you, both of you, for letting me tag along on your adventure."
Lauren and Matthew shared a knowing grin before moving in to spontaneously hug Ryan in response.
"Is it time for the Kelsi train to leave now?" Matthew asked, pulling his face away from Ryan's embrace to pose the question.
"It sure is...who's hitching a ride?" Kelsi asked, holding both of her hands palm up, ready and expecting the two tiny hands that were soon held in hers.
"Me!" Lauren said, moving in to half hug Kelsi as she made her announcement.
"Me too...me too. I love trains." Matthew exclaimed, focusing on Ryan during his last comment.
Kelsi started to say goodbye to Ryan, when Lauren suddenly interrupted.
"Ryan, are you coming on the Kelsi train?" The little girl asked, a hopeful smile seeming to fill her entire face.
Ryan froze. He knew the smart move would be to just make his farewells and head back to the hotel.
But that wasn't going to happen.
"I was once told the Kelsi train doesn't take passengers over 5 feet in height...have the rules been altered since then?" Ryan looked straight at Kelsi as he posed the question, practically begging her with his eyes to let him come with.
Kelsi wore a small smirk as she met Ryan's gaze. Oh, he was a sly one that Ryan Evans. She snuck a glimpse of the kids, noting the eager grins on both Matthew and Lauren's faces. How was she expected to burst their cute little bubbles? Kelsi was very aware that the safest course of action was to send Ryan on his merry way. But somehow, she couldn't do that. Blame it on the magical winter wonderland setting, the way he was with the kids or the fabulous day they had just shared...she couldn't say no. Kelsi took a moment to recognize that she was on her way to being in big possible heart break (again).
"It just so happens we do have a stipulation policy." Kelsi countered, pushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
"And what might this policy be?" Ryan asked, a smile alive throughout his features.
"Well, we do allow individuals who do not meet the height requirement if....they can make awesome chocolate chip cookies." Kelsi supplied.
"That are as big as your head." Lauren was quick to add.
"Yeah....like that big." Matthew said, using his hands...and his head to show precisely how big the cookies should be.
"Well, it just so happens that I have Kelsi's and my friend Zeke's famous chocolate chip cookie recipe." Ryan said with a huge grin.
Kelsi could have sworn her stomach growled at the mention of Zeke's chocolate chip cookies.
"Ryan Evans, today is your lucky day...you are now the first passenger to ride the Kelsi train who is over 5 feet tall." Kelsi said, smiling before turning to focus on the children whose hands were still firmly tucked beside her own. "You guys ready to lead the way?"
"Let's go!" Lauren said, squeezing Kelsi's hand lightly, before moving over to take Ryan's hand.
"Choo Choo!" Matthew said loudly, swinging Kelsi's hand as they walked back home.
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Sarah could hear the echoing sounds of music and laughter from the hallway of her home. A gentle smile graced her lips, as she neared the door. Every time she heard her kids laugh, it was as if a section of her heart healed from all of the loss it had been dealt the last few years. As she opened the door, her sense of smell was immediately overcome by the most wonderful scent. She definitely smelled chocolate, it just seemed to be cooked in a way she had never experienced before.
Sarah entered the kitchen to a hilarious sight. Lauren and Matthew were both standing on step stools in their matching aprons...covered in flour. And they weren't the only ones. Kelsi's hair looked to be half white and the mystery man in the middle of it all had a white hand print on his cheek that looked to be the size of her son's. Sarah couldn't help but wonder who the attractive blond man was. She would guess him to be around Kelsi's age and he seemed to be fairly familiar with her wonderful nanny.
"What's going on here?" Sarah asked, laughing as Lauren and Matthew quickly sailed across the room to hug her. "Aw, hey guys...I missed you too." She continued, dropping loving kisses upon both of their flour covered cheeks.
Kelsi's cheeks seemed to turn a delightful pink under the film of flour.
"Hi Sarah. This is my friend Ryan. We were just making chocolate chip cookies for dessert." Kelsi paused quickly, taking in the mess around them. "Sorry about the mess, I guess we lost track of time. I promise I will clean everything up before we leave." Kelsi said by way of explanation.
Sarah quickly waved away Kelsi's worry.
"It's nice to meet you Ryan." Sarah started, moving forward to shake the young man's hand. So this was the Ryan she had heard so much about. While Sarah did experience a moment of motherly worry, she couldn't help but feel the comfortable and warm vibe that seemed to be attached to the blond man. "And don't worry about cleaning Kelsi, the kids and I can do it. Besides, any mess is worth the amount of fun it looks like you guys had today." Sarah stated sweetly, moving over to taste a chocolate chip cookie. "Ohmigod...you can make these any time you want, with as much mess as necessary. These are phenomenal. You know, when I was first walking in the door, I thought you were baking some new creation up here, I had never smelled something more heavenly." Sarah shared, looking at Ryan in awe, figuring he was the one who had inspired these fabulous cookies.
Ryan actually started to blush. He couldn't get over how sweet and supportive Kelsi's boss was. If he didn't already understand from his interaction with the kids, he would have understood now through meeting Sarah why Kelsi was so attached to her job.
"Thanks, but I can't take credit for the recipe. It's actually a friend of ours." Ryan supplied, motioning to Kelsi.
"Well, you will have to personally tell him I say thank you." Sarah said. "Now, why don't you two hit the road and enjoy the remainder of the night. The kids and I can clean this up...there look to be some bowls and spoons that could use some licking." Sarah supplied, not at all surprised by the exuberant cheers that announcement received from her children.
Ryan didn't need to be told twice. Sarah had just given him the perfect excuse to spend more time with Kelsi. Before Kelsi could realize what was going on, he took her hand and initiated the goodbyes.
Kelsi couldn't get over how quickly she was leaving work. Usually her farewells took at least 15 minutes or so. But tonight, they seemed to be flying by...and she couldn't completely comprehend why. In all honesty, the whole day seemed like a whirl of activity to her...a wonderful and enjoyable whirl, but a whirl all the same. In record time, Kelsi found herself out side her work and standing next to Ryan...alone. She was alone with him. The word seemed to perform a never ending symphony in her head...alone, ALONE, alone, alone. She looked up to meet Ryan's eyes and opened her mouth to say something, not all together sure what she was planning to say.
"We're alone." Kelsi said lamely. She could not believe she just said that. That had to be number one on the list of most obvious things not to say.
Ryan greeted Kelsi's suddenly panicked expression with gentle calm.
"We are. Would you mind if I walked you home?" Ryan asked, patiently waiting for her answer.
She should say no. At least that's what Kelsi was telling herself. True, they had just shared a wonderful day...magical even. But that was before, when they had the nice safe buffer of children present. Now they were...alone. Okay seriously, she had to stop thinking that. She was starting to truly resent the word "alone".
"Sure." Kelsi supplied weakly. Wow, that was not the response she had been planning. She had wanted to say, "thanks for the offer, but I think it would be better if I walked myself back home"...somehow that wasn't the answer that escaped her lips. It seemed tonight her head and voice couldn't find their way to the same page.
Ryan was honestly surprised. He had been completely expecting Kelsi to reject his offer of a walk home. He wasn't about to turn his back on his good fortune though. He quietly walked by her side as she led the way to the train.
"You really don't have to walk me home. I mean...I can find my own way back." Kelsi said, a familiar, but different tension seeming to fill the air.
"No it's okay. I want to." Ryan said softly.
"This was quite an unexpected day huh?" Kelsi started.
No sooner was the question out before Kelsi started to slip on the ice covering a portion of the sidewalk. Ryan's arms instantly found her waist, as he used his own body to help her and him gain balance. Ryan felt the familiar sparks of electricity and the steady rush of heat fill his body as Kelsi's petite frame made hard contact with his chest. Both of them stood there for what seemed like centuries, but was actually only a few seconds. Ryan was trying to force his breathing and pulse to a regular pace and Kelsi was trying to gain the nerve to look up. At the moment she was quite focused on some stray pieces of lint stuck to the the right shoulder of his jacket.
Kelsi took a deep breath and raised her gaze to Ryan's. Her blue eyes met his and the butterflies that were currently residing in her stomach took on a whole life of their own.
Ryan reached over and straightened Kelsi's askew glasses, the tips of his fingers lightly brushing her temples in the process. Ryan noticed how Kelsi's breath caught at the contact. It was easy to recognize, since the same thing seemed to be happening to him. These feelings were so new to Ryan. He had never felt anything close to this intense with Amanda. And this was completely out of sorts in regards to Kelsi. True, when they were friends, he may have felt an unfamiliar stirring every now and again. But nothing that compared to now. Ryan had been aware that he had missed her friendship, he had even been aware that something more may just be evident. But this...this was extraordinary. This was what he had always wanted, what he had been looking for. Had he known he would find it with Kelsi...Ryan couldn't even begin to comprehend how different his life would be right now. Ryan's thoughts continued to stir in his mind as he compared how different his interactions with Kelsi were now when compared to before...when they were friends in high school and college. It was practically night and day.
Kelsi stared at Ryan, noting all of the varying emotions that seemed to be running across his features. There were questions there, questions she wasn't sure she had answers to. And more importantly, questions she wasn't sure she was ready to answer.
"We had better hurry, I don't want to get home too late." Kelsi said, effectively changing the topic.
Kelsi's statement seemed to interrupt Ryan's inner ramblings.
"Oh right. Why don't you hold on to my arm, it may be safer that way." Ryan said, referring to Kelsi's near fall on the ice.
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The remaining walk and train ride was done in relative silence...but a comfortable one. Well, as comfortable as both parties were able to be. Before either of them knew it, and before Ryan was completely ready, they found themselves at Kelsi's door.
"This is me." Kelsi said, nodding up in her building's direction.
"Oh, this looks nice." Ryan said, not quite able to hide his disappointment over reaching their destination.
"It serves its purpose. And I am comfortable here." Kelsi said, making small talk and a bit unsure as to how she should go about saying goodbye without the farewell being too awkward.
"That's good. Well, thanks for letting me walk you home." Ryan said, moving in to kiss Kelsi on the cheek before he could loose his nerve.
"Oh." Kelsi started, in response to his kiss. She felt her cheeks heat up, as words left her.
Ryan smiled at Kelsi's flustered expression.
"Goodnight Kelsi. I had a wonderful time with you today." Ryan said, gaining confidence after viewing the effect his innocent kiss had on the small woman.
"G-goodnight Ryan. Me too. I mean, I had a wonderful time too....with you." Kelsi managed to get out, literally wincing over how discombobulated her grammar was. She seriously felt almost more flustered from this kiss than the rough one she had gotten from Ryan a few days ago.
Ryan started to back away, still facing Kelsi and making eye contact.
"I'll see you soon Kels."
Kelsi took a deep breath, completely unaware of the small palm she held to her recently kissed cheek.
"See you soon Ryan." Kelsi managed.
Once she was safely inside her apartment, Kelsi leaned her back against the door and slowly let herself drop to the hard wood floor. Her voice was barely a whisper when she uttered.
"I am in such big trouble."