Disclaimer: No, I do not own it, sadly. However, maybe if I bribe Namco with pizza…hmm…

Presea and Victoria glared at each other with such an evil aura of evil evilness that even Fifi was scared. It takes more than a bagel to scare Fifi!

Ahem, uh, YOU SAW NOTHING!!!

So, after the glaring was over, Magnius decided to ruin the tension by bringing out a stereo and lip-syncing to "The Truck Driving Song" by Weird Al Yankovic. Kvar joined him and soon they were getting way into the song, especially the part where they mentioned that they were waiting for their nails to dry (A/N: Weird Al rocks!!!!). So, while Victoria and Presea twitched in horror, Fifi brought them back to reality. He screeched and started ripping Victoria's hair out. People outside the temple would hear this:

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH! SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!!!"

"Oh, MY FLIPPIN' EYE! OH, SHIT! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! GET OFF ME!!!! BAD MONKEY!!!!! Shut the HELL UP, PRESEA!!!!!!!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! FIFI WILL DESTROY YOU AND THEN I CAN RULE THE FREAKIN' WORLD!!!!!!"

"That was fun, now let's sing 'Man I Feel Like a Woman.'"

"Okay."

"I am the Holy Barrel Man! Fear my barrels of DOOM! MUHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Noooooooooooooooooooo!"

"Hi my name is Bobby and I'm selling" sniff sniff "Fag Scout Cookies!"

"I have a kendama w00t."

"No, Magnius! Don't!"

"Tidal Wave!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The temple exploded as a huge tidal wave started up right underneath Magnius, and the soaked people were left sputtering on the ground, where Regal and Origin were staring at them. Magnius looked up and abruptly went blind, because this time they were wearing French maid outfits with cat ears and tails. Presea and Victoria got up again and started to fight.

"I call upon the furriness that is the rabbit! I call upon the wickedness that is the blue jay! I summon you! Rabbit-jay-thing!"

"What the hell? Devastation!"

The two girls locked weapons several times…….wait a minute, no they didn't! Victoria used the power of fluffy animals…and not all of them said "Cheep, cheep"…oh well…what do I care?

Will all of you STOP THIS!???

Victoria gasped. "No! Not you!"

Yes, it's me, and I'd just like to say that Magnius, you're a dumbass. Now that we've covered that, give the ugly dudes the key, Vicky. Otherwise, the world will be out of balance and NO ONE will be able to rule.

Victoria started to cry. "But it's not fair! I want the world to fall into peril so I can use it as a stress ball!"

Presea snorted. "You take over the world to rule it, to crush those stupid mortals beneath you."

"So I have to sit on them?"

"No, you ditz. You must annihilate them. Like this…" She pulled her axe out, and, pointing it at Kvar, screamed like a barbarian and started to slash at him wildly. "FOOL! YOU DARE DEFY ME, RULER OF THIS WORLD?!!!"

"I'm afraid you're both wrong!" cried Zelos, the Holy Barrel Man. "You see, you take over the world for the food and the barrels. Duh."

"NO DA!" yelled Magnius and started to do the Chicken Dance.

"I neeeeeeeeeeeeeds the precious!" shrieked Forcystus.

"Aaaah! Forcystus, you idiot! What are you doing?!!"

"Needs the precious!" was the only reply as the LOTR-crazed lunatic attached himself to Victoria and started chewing on her head.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew, I just washed my hair!" she screamed. She started running around wildly, flinging forcystus this was and that, but he always managed to chew on her head again. Finally, she gave up and handed the key to Magnius. "You have bested me. But, I have bad news. My brother moved to college."

"COLLEGE?!!!" the tired hero yelled. "I have to go to a (deletedfor expletive) COLLEGE???!!!!!"

"Yes, and you must take the one you know as Kratos with you."

"Why?"

"I dunno."

Ahem.

"Uh, I mean, because he…will help you find out where Sam's dormitory is!"

"How does he know?"

"Oh, I don't know."

And so, the Holy Barrel Man and our heroes left to find Kratos, while Presea and Fifi scoured the remains of the temple for treasure.

To be continued…

I finally updated! Sorry bout that. So now you can read and weep in my hilarity! I will make chapter ten come faster! Bye, my readers!