I have fantastic news, everybody! On the eleventh of December, 2005, this fic celebrated its first birthday! I tried to get the 19th chapter up in time, but that was when I was working on the winter play for school, so I couldn't. So, after a long, unneeded delay, I present to you…TRDi4000Y, THE NINETEENTH CHAPTER!

"Umm, nice doggy," said Kvar nervously.

"Since when is Fenrir a dog?" asked Yuan.

"Shut up!"

Fenrir growled.

Sheena looked at it oddly. "What do you mean, 'I'm not going to rip your faces off and eat your lungs yum yum'?"

Kratos said, "Well, that's certainly not helping my…er…security."

Magnius swore. "This is all that damned Kvar's fault!"

"Why is it MY fault?"

"Because I said so! Now shut up!"

Yuan sighed. "Out of the way." He stepped forward and stared at Fenrir. "Would you like a sammich?"

Fenrir growled again.

Sheena whacked Yuan on the head. "DON'T TALK ABOUT FOOD!"

Fenrir bared his fangs at Yuan.

"Hey, what's going on out there?" called a voice. "Who dares intrude upon our fortress?"

"Um, I hate to break it to you, but this is a zoo," said Zelos.

"Yes I know, isn't it like a zoo, with all the deadly, evil animals running around?"

"NO, I mean it's actually a zoo!"

There was silence. Then, "Shut up."

Sheena called out, "Presea, get Fenrir away."

"And if I do?"

Sheena looked at her (or where she thought Presea was) tearfully. "B-but…I'm too young to die! How can you even consider not calling him off?"

Zelos sighed. "I hate women."

"Very well, then," said Presea. "Fenrir, off."

The wolf turned to leave but growled one last time before doing so.

"By the way, how'd you get an army of Summon Spirits?" asked Kratos.

"Oh, a little money goes a long way," Presea said, feeling rather proud of herself.

"Um…Summon Spirits don't NEED money," said Sheena.

"Silence!"

"Yes, your Overlord of Stupidity."

"SILENCE!"

Once everyone was silent, which was not hard considering more than half of the group had not realized that Fenrir had left and were playing dead, Presea continued, "What brings you here?"

"Well, um, we were just wondering…could you, like, stop trying to take over the world?"

"Why would you ask me that?"

"Well, um, we're currently trying to SAVE the world, but if you conquer it, then, um…it would all be for like nothing."

"So?"

"So we would app…appre…appreciate…is that the right word?"

"Yes," said Kratos.

"We would appreciate it if you would stop trying to take over the world because it's busy being saved," finished Magnius.

"What are you saving it from?" asked Presea coolly.

"Um…sanity," said Kvar.

"No, INsanity," Magnius corrected him.

Presea appeared to be thinking about it. "No."

"What? Why not?"

"Your petty little 'plan' is not a good reason enough for me to stop. Besides, OUR plan has already been put into motion."

Genis showed up randomly. "Presea, the badger is refusing to do its job."

"HA!" said Kratos, suddenly inspired. "That badger is a 'Mega Ultra Hyper Spiffy Badger Bomb Boom-Boom Yaaay!' and it will explode unless you give it back to us!"

"Trickery!" gasped Presea. "I thought that badger was just stupid!"

"Does it hop around and go 'Precioussssss, Precioussssss'?" asked Yuan.

"Yeah," said Genis. "I mean, yes, but what is it to you?"

"Well, that's the—" Kratos took a breath. "'Mega Ultra Hyper Spiffy Badger Bomb Boom-Boom Yaaay!'"

"Genis!"

"Yes?"

"Get that badger back to the visitors. Then, send their…escort." She laughed maniacally.

"Ok, sure, whatever," said Genis, not sure what she meant.

After a few moments, Rodyle came out with Forcystus on a leash. "PRECIOUS!" screamed Forcystus as he hugged Kvar tightly.

"AAAAGH! GAY MAN!" screamed Zelos like a transvestite.

"Where?" yelled Regal, looking around.

Just then, someone came out of the shadows.

"Guh-huh! I'm Uncle Happity Doo and I'll be yer happy escort to the exit! Follow me, my little bundles of joy!"

Yuan's eye twitched.

"Now don't be shy! Come along, my precious little muffin-wuffins—"

"PRECIOUS!" shrieked Forcystus. "You hides the precious! Where you hides it? WHERE?" He started to strangle Uncle Happity Doo.

"Down, Forcystus, down boy!" said Magnius.

Forcystus let go of Uncle Happity Doo and slunk off somewhere.

Uncle Happity Doo smiled brightly. "Aww, shucks. I guess he really loves me! Maybe I should invite him over for a…SLEEPOVER," he said creepily.

"Oooh, that's scary," said Kvar.

"GENIS!" yelled Presea. "That's not what I meant!"

"Well what DID you mean then?"

"You know, the ARMY…"

"Oh yeah."

"When I say 'escort' all creepy like that, it means to get the army out here!"

Uncle Happity Doo said, "Would you like to be my FWEND?"

"NO!" screamed everybody else.

"Aw." Uncle Happity Doo seemed rather sad.

Kratos had had enough of this. "When can we get out of here and look for my son?" he roared.

"Oh…we kind of forgot about that," said Yuan. "But we need to make sure these guys don't foil us where we stand!"

"First, outside, inside, last!" chanted Zelos.

"What the hell?" asked everyone except Genis.

Genis said, "That's the FOIL method-system-of-torture used by algebra teachers worldwide."

"Oh…"

Regal thought that was catchy. "First, outside, inside, last!" he chanted, doing a provocative series of poses to go along with it.

Zelos screamed and squirted lemon juice in his eyes. "IT BURNS, BUT IT IS HEAVEN COMPARED TO THAT!" he screamed.

Yuan patted him on the head. "Have a sammich," he said comfortingly.

Perhaps we should just skip this part of the storyline and change the scene to something worthwhile.

"ANNABELLE!" everyone yelled (refer to chapter 6, "Neither Sylvarant nor Tethe'alla").

Aye, 'tis I. It has been so long.

"Well, what was that about skipping?" demanded Yuan. "This is where I get to speak Italian."

Okay, I won't. Jeez.

"YES!" Yuan danced disco, and his spiffy cape turned pink. Kratos fell to the floor, twitching. Yuan started singing, "Lei amerebbe un sammich? Certo lei amerebbe un sammich! Sammiches sono il migliore! Lei mangerà un sammich! Questo è la pubblicità manifesta! Comprare le cose da Namco! Le favole di rocce di Symphonia! Spingerò questo sammich giù la sua gola se lei fa non l'acquisto di esso! Morire! Morire morire morire! Da na na na na! Do de do de do!"

Everyone stared at him. Kratos volunteered, "Morire means 'die.'"

"Oh…"

Yuan looked devastated. "How did you know that?"

Kratos shrugged. "I took a class."

"A class…?"

Kratos nodded. "There are classes for just about everything."

Kvar's eyes shone. "Even making marbles out of grass?"

"Sure!" Kratos gave the camera a thumbs-up.

Magnius asked, "Wait. What camera?"

"You bring up an excellent point."

Zelos looked around shiftily. "You know what? I think Genis and Presea have escaped on us."

And sure enough, they had. Magnius stamped his foot angrily. "That's it! We have to take the fight to them!"

Yuan whipped out a sammich. "Then let's go!" He started to dance.

Kratos pointed towards a wall. "They went thataway!"

"No, they didn't," said Sheena. "They went thisaway!" She pointed at the opposite wall.

"Maybe they went hereaway!" said Kvar, pointing at a different wall.

"Or maybe they went through that bright red door that says 'Secret Escape Place,'" said Magnius, sighing.

"Oh my gosh!" yelled everyone else.

Magnius opened the door, which was miraculously unlocked. He quickly closed it. "Everybody…? We've got a problem on our hands."

"Which would be…?"

"All the Summon Spirits from Aska to Maxwell excluding Gnome and Efreet and including Fenrir are in there."

Everyone stared at him.

"No, I'm serious."

"We know, we're waiting for a brilliant plan from our leader," chorused everyone.

Magnius whipped out his staff…weapon…thing. "WE FIGHT!"

Forcystus hopped up and down. "Precious, precious!"

"No, Forcystus, say 'Cyclone, Cyclone'!"

"Okay!"

With that, Magnius kicked the door down. "All right, who wants some?" he roared.

"Oh, are you the pizza guy?" asked Celsius. "We've been waiting for ages."

"Literally," added Maxwell.

"Well, it's all your fault, Celsius," said Luna. "If you hadn't given him the wrong address we wouldn't still be waiting."

"Excuuuuuuuuse me for mispronouncing 'seven'!"

"How the hell can you DO that?" asked Maxwell.

"I'm…special that way," said Celsius carefully.

"Excuse me," said Magnius in his dignified accent, "but may we pass?"

Aska looked at him with one of its heads. "Shut up," it said in its mindspeak.

"But…we need to pass."

Aska's other head looked at the first. "Stop being so stupid! You're such an ass."

"Oh, really? You think so? BRING IT!"

The heads started viciously pecking at each other. "Oh, god! God, it burns! Oh, oh, stop it! That was my eye! And that means it was your eye! Ouch! Ow! Not the wing, not the wing! Stop! Damn you, stop it!"

Sheena slapped seals on both of their heads. "Stop fighting!"

"Okay," said the second head.

Fenrir looked up sleepily at them and went back to sleep.

Kvar pointed at his pajamas. "Do you like my pajamas?" he asked Luna.

Luna stared at him for a moment. "No."

Kvar was in shock. "What? You…don't like my pajamas? W-why…?"

Magnius yelled, "WE NEED TO PASS!"

Celsius looked at him. "You could have said that in the first place. Jeez."

Yuan sighed. "Magnius has communication issues."

"I can tell."

Magnius' eye twitched. "I give up."

Forcystus pointed at another door. "More door!" he said.

Da-dum-chinnnnnnnng.

Magnius pushed this one open, too. "Genis and Presea!" he yelled.

In the back of the room, Rodyle said, "Great. I'm not even important enough to be mentioned by a Desian of all people."

"Desian? What is the word of which you speak?"

"You know…I can't remember."

Raine walked in. "Whoa! What are you people doing here?"

"We're here to fight for our freedom!"

"Funny, you don't look like our slaves."

There was an awkward silence.

"Um…we're not your slaves," said Magnius, recovering quickly. "We just want you to stop taking over the world. We're trying to save it, and if you take it over…"

Raine thought for a minute. "You say you are saving the world…let's make a deal."

"A deal?"

"We want Flanoir and all of its island, Altamira and…Ymir Forest."

Presea gaped at her. "Are you mad, Raine?"

"Yes. I'm quite mad. But the thing is, Presea, Flanoir and its island is huge, Altamira is an island with a stranglehold on trade, and Ymir Forest is where those damned racist elves live. So we can have people to torture, a large base and economic security to eventually take the rest of the world by storm!"

"But it's so cold there."

Raine was silent. "Shut up!"

Yuan got all teary-eyed. "But…my base is on Flanoir's island."

Magnius noticed Yuan's tears. "Raine, can you leave the Renegade base to Yuan?"

"Damn! Sure, why not?"

Yuan hugged her. "Thank you, Auntie Raine!"

Raine bit him. In the shoulder.

While Yuan was crying in the background about his diseased shoulder, Zelos produced a barrel out of nowhere. "This will be our contract." He wrote out, "We dutifully promise to give Flanoir and its surrounding island, Ymir Forest and Altamira to the Evil Empire of PUAWAATOW."

Both Magnius and Raine signed it. However, Raine had failed to notice one detail:

The microscopic "NOT" right after "promise."

Zelos pocketed the barrel (!) and strolled off, whistling.

Regal looked around. "It's too serious in here."

Yuan stood up. "Yes, yes it is!" He sucked in his breath. "Now I must do THIS!" He sat down in a chair. "PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" He started to dance in his chair, singing the peanut butter jelly song.

"DEAR LORD, IT BURNS!" screamed Zelos, squirting lemon juice in his eyes again.

"Doesn't that hurt?" asked Regal.

"Almost as much as looking at you."

Just then, Forcystus said, "Cyclone, Cyclone!"

The whole place was ripped apart by the combined power of two Cyclone spells. Everyone was knocked unconscious, and when they woke up, something became painfully clear.

With the exception of Kratos, all of them had been separated from each other and were entirely alone.

Kratos ended up unconscious in the bushes in front of Rotaks and Colette's base.

Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! How is Kratos going to handle this by himself? Now that's he's close to his beloved Lloydie, he'll be uber-happy, but what about…ROTAKS? And where is everyone else? Did PUAWAATOW get separated too? What will they do to Zelos if they find out he screwed with the contract? Will Regal meet Origin again on the road? How'd they get separated in the first place? How does Kuchinawa play into all of this? Why haven't I used Mithos lately? Where is Pronyma now, anyway? Why the hell did PUAWAATOW think Forcystus was a badger in the first place? Where IS Efreet? What about the other Summon Spirits? Will Kratos and Shadow ever get to go Chosen Hunting again? Where WAS Fifi in all of this? All of these questions and more will be answered…

And now, a 5-sentence sneak peek at "The Randomest Day in 4,000 Years: Chapter 20," a true breathtaking landmark for me, a humble teen in Connecticut with no life. Each sentence is from a different scene.

"Kuchinawa was behind all of it?" gasped Magnius…………

"Ready the Mana Cannon…aim…fire…no wait…let me get a soda first…"

"It's been so long since I've seen you!" squealed Sheena in joy…………

Kratos hesitated, and then knocked the door down, revealing a completely hideous beast inside…………

"Give me a straight answer, Kvar…why do we have to go to Luin at a time like this?" asked Magnius angrily…………

Coming (hopefully) soon from Toni Productions…