Whoa this chapter is the longest I've written so far. Umm I hope you like it.

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When I thought of where Jacob could possible live, I wouldn't have thought this.

"It's nice, huh?" Jacob almost questioned as if he was waiting for my approval.

"And to think I was half expecting you to live in a trailer park..." Jacob laughed. I wasn't being mean, it was a joke. When I'm nervous I crack jokes. And I was feeling really edgy and nervous about this whole situation. I even pretended to be asleep to be rid of his company, unfortunately I had to wake up.

It wasn't anything personal, Jacob just made me feel uncomfortable. Like I had wasps swarming in my stomach. Yes I know most people say their butterfly's. But that was only for people who were falling in love. And I certainly was not one of them. I refused to believe that. Oh god, why couldn't I have just lived with Rosie and Em.

Jacob lived in a loft and it was huge, not as big as my old home in Chicago. But big, you know for a loft.

When you walk in there's the living room and the kitchen. The walls in there are all windows. And right out the window is a amazing view of the Space Needle. There was a modern fire place too, I didn't know if it was real or fake but it was pretty. Every thing in this house was very expensive and modern including the kitchen. I might have grown up with money, but some of these things I wasn't really familiar with. Jacob had a 103" flat screen TV, a 'X-box', 'Wii', and 'PS2'. You could tell his loft was a total bachelor pad. Nothing in this loft was feminine.

My family only had one TV and it was rarely used by anyone other than Charlie, unless Emmett was visiting. My parents were old fashioned and growing up without them made me appreciate their taste. I loved reading and hoped to read all the books they did so maybe I could know them a bit more. The older I get the more the memories seem to fade, I was not prepared to deal with that. Not when I was still so alone.

There was this one wooden pole in the living room. It sorta looked like a totem pole but it wasn't. The pole had carved faces of men and wolves on it. The sorta totem pole was obviously Native American like Jacob. So I wondered if it had something to do specifically with the Quileute tribe.

I saw four doors down the hallway.

"Three bedrooms one bathroom." Jacob answered my question.

"One bathroom?" I questioned. I wasn't being prissy or anything it's just the thought of sharing a bathroom with him was a little awkward. And there goes my stomach with the wasps.

"Ugh, yeah guess we'll just have to share." He sorta had a twinkle in his eye as if he was thinking about something.

I walked into the bathroom and saw that it was huge. It didn't have a regular tub it had a whirlpool spa hot tub. It had a double sink and a double shower. I felt flustered at the thought of anyone in the shower or hot tub with him. I pictured Jacob and I, and mentally slapped myself. I vaguely wondered if when Jacob meant share he actually meant "SHARE". But I quickly shook that thought out of my mind.

"This is my room" he pointed to the tightly closed door. "That's the library" he pointed to the room down the hall. I was pleasantly surprised that Jacob had a library, he didn't seem like the type to read. Then again you should never judge a book by it's cover.

"And that's your room." He opened the door to the room right across from his.

It was a very large room with hardly anything in it. It had a queen sized bed, a mirror, and a desk with a chair. The walls were completely white and the sheets and comforter was too. This was just too weird, I felt like I was in "The Twilight Zone" or something.

"Why is everything so white?" I had to ask

"I thought you'd like to decorate your own room." he then took out a couple credit cards and gave them to me. His hand brushed mine for a moment to long and I shivered. I hated the way he made my body react.

"I don't need your money. I have my own. My family was quite wealthy." I insisted scowling the whole way.

"Oh really?" he challenged "Because I was under the impression that your trust fund didn't kick in yet." he was smiling the whole time, he enjoyed mocking me.

"Well um..." I didn't no what to say he was already making an ass out of me.

"So when do you get your trust?" he asked practically singing.

"When I'm eighteen." I muttered

"I'm sorry, when?" he asked cupping his hand to his ear in a fake effort to hear me.

"When I'm eighteen." I said louder while looking down at the floor. I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to prove he's right. He was asserting his dominance, making sure I knew who was in-charge around here. And I didn't like it one bit. And if he thought I was just going to bend over and take it, he was going to be in for a rude awaking.

"Well then, for now you'll just have to use my credit cards. Until I can get you your own." He smiled smugly because he won. I was not used to losing, and I wasn't about to get used to it. It wasn't the fact that he was giving me money, and yet it was the fact that he was giving me money. I didn't like having to depend on anyone, him especially.

"Tomorrow I'll have to get you registered for school. So while I'm at work you could go shopping or something. You still need stuff for your room and school supplies, you could even get some new clothes if you wanted." Jacob stated. Bribery would get him no where.

"But I've never..." I was going to say 'I've never been somewhere I didn't know by myself.' But that sounded stupid and needy. And I was not either stupid nor needy. I was not a little girl who needed help.

"You won't be alone. I'll get Leah to take you." He seemed to get what I didn't say.

"Oh, okay." I said unenthusiastic, I didn't want to sound too grateful even though I was.

"And hey? While your out..." he turned around to look at me.

"Yeah?" I asked

"Don't lose your V card." he smiled smugly.

"wwwhat? I asked not believing I heard him right.

"Your V card, don't lose it." he pointed at the card in my hands.

I looked at the card 'Visa'. My face burned I knew I was blushing madly. Jacob saw my blush and smiled even wider. I guess he took that as conformation that I still had my 'V card' He walked out of my bedroom.

Ugh how did he know I was a virgin? Did I give off some virgin signal? Did he then pick up my virginal signal with his douche radar? I mean seriously did that really just happen?

But it was true, I was a virgin. I wasn't experienced at all. Sure I'd flirt but that was really it. The most I've ever gotten was a kiss. A kiss that I didn't appreciate until long after.

I looked into the mirror to see if I looked as different on the outside like I felt on the inside. But then I truly inspected the mirror. To someone who didn't know anything about wood it would just look like a square wooden mirror. But the wood was a beautiful golden honey brown tone. It was teak wood which happened to the exact same color of 'His' eyes. I remember because I often remarked at how lovely they were.

I was so stupid back then. I can't believe how I took him for granted. He, like Charlie we're the only ones who ever really meant something to me. He was always there for me until he wasn't anymore. And I think I loved him. But I didn't realize it until he was gone.

It's been a long time since I've though about my former best friend. But thinking of him now makes me wanna cry.

But I will never forget the last time I saw him...

(Flashback)

"Knock, knock" he said in his ever charming accent.

"Hey, I missed you." I went up to him and gave him a hug. He was always so warm. He always smelled good too. I sniffed him, cinnamon and coffee, yum.

"Did you seriously just sniff me?" He asked laughing. But you could tell by the look on his face he was pleased.

"Well yeah, umm you always smell so good. Like coffee and cinnamon." I finished awkwardly blushing.

He sniffed me back.

"You always smell like cherry blossoms and vanilla. My favorite." he smiled. His perfect white teeth complemented his beautiful brown skin, and the teak eyes along with his black hair, really put it all together.

We went and sat on the bed together. We were alone in the room but if their was one boy Charlie trusted it was him.

I looked up at him and saw that his face looked nervous maybe even a little sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked sincerely

"Ren, I need to tell you something."

"Okay. You know you can tell me anything..." It was true, after all he's been through with me it was the least I could do.

"Rennie, I'm in love with you." My heart stopped

"Wwhat?" I couldn't believe what he was saying. He loved me. Me, Renesmee Cullen. But we were best friends.

"Ren, I'm so in love with you." he said it so desperately, my heart broke for him. I couldn't say anything. Because I didn't know what to say.

"Ren, I know you don't want to hear this. But I couldn't keep it in anymore. I think about you all the time. From the morning I wake up to the night I go to sleep. And all the dreams and thoughts in between. Your my best friend and I'm in love with you. Me saying this might be selfish but I can't keep pretending that your just my friend, cause your not." he finished looking at me searching for an answer. But I couldn't give him one, I was unresponsive.

"But we are, we are best friends." I insisted shaking my head.

"But..." he tried to say, I cut him off.

"No. Were best friends. And only best friends."

"What? Ren how can you say that? Were more than friends and you know it."

"No were not." I insisted

He came closer to me. He gently grabbed my face and put my mouth to his. His lips touched mine, my lips parted involuntary. They were sweet light touches that mean nothing to me at the time, but everything to me later.

As his lips left mine and he pulled away and said "Why can't you see?" As in 'why can't I see that I love him.'

I gently pushed him away from me. "I told you, we're just friends."

"Well guess what? I can't just be just friends anymore. I want more, and I'm sick and tired of pretending that I don't."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked not understanding.

"I can't do this anymore." he whispered

"What does that mean?"

"It means, that I can't be your friend anymore."

"What? Are you serious right now?" He started to walk out of my room, I followed.

He wouldn't respond so I asked "What? Are you making me choose? All or nothing. Is that it? Are those my wonderful choices? Be with you that way or be without you?"

He turned to look at me. My chocolate brown eyes met his teak ones and he said softly, "Yeah I guess so." Then he turned to walk away from me.

"Why would you do this to me? Why would you make me choose? If you really loved me you wouldn't make me choose." Love didn't work that way. Well it wasn't supposed to.

He pushed me back against a wall and faced me. "How dare you insinuate that I don't love you. I just professed my love to you. You mean absolutely everything to me. I would do anything for you. And you think you have the right to tell me that 'I don't love you?' Let's not forget who just rejected whom. You know nothing of my love nor anything about love at all. So don't you dare question me." He said it all sounding so hurt. I didn't want to be without him, but I didn't think I loved him.

"Please, I'm begging you don't do this." He was all I had, why couldn't he see that?

"I have to." he stated stiffly.

"Your breaking my heart." I breathed. I said that because it was true. and I desperately wanted to stop him.

"You already broke mine." He stated simply in a cold manner of speaking.

(End of Flashback)

Then he left. That was two years ago. And I never saw him again. That night I cried myself to sleep. I didn't have the guts to talk to him so soon after that day, so I called him a week later. The phone was disconnected as was his Aunt's phone. I e-mailed him, he canceled his account because I got a return to sender. I went over to his house and it was empty, he moved.

You always hear about people up and moving, but you never expect it to happen to you. I tried to tell myself that I wasn't the reason he moved, but I knew I was. Him and his aunt had money just like my family. They could move where ever they wanted.

A couple months after that I realized that I did in fact love him. I talked to Jasper about it and he said that I was probably scared of loving 'him'. Since everyone I love does eventually leave me, 'He' only proved that fact.

If I could change one thing about my life that's what I'd change. If I could go back in time and change the events that occurred, I think I would. I would kiss him and tell him I love him because I realized I do or did. But you can only move forward not backwards.

With 'him' stuck in my head I couldn't think of much else. Jacob and I ate dinner together. The whole time he was staring at me, he knew my head was somewhere else. His dark brown eyes met mine, but I kept thinking of the teak ones I loved.

After dinner I told him I was tired and went off to bed. He probably thought I was upset about the whole 'V card' thing, but I wasn't. It's not like Jacob liked me anyway. Why would he like a mean virgin. I was horrible to everyone I loved. My family was probably glad they died so they could be rid of me. After all Rosie an Em couldn't even stand to be around me, that's probably why there always traveling. If Jenks asked them to be my legal guardians, they'd most likely say no. The only reason Jacob was flirting with me was because he liked to embarrass me, I guess.

"Get up sleepy ass, were going to go spend Jake's money." A woman said, I didn't know who it was because the sun was right in my eyes.

"Ugh, I hate the sun." I said groggy. I was tired and I wanted to go back to sleep. Who the hell did this bitch think she was?

"Yeah, Yeah. I promise it won't burn you alive" She looked right at me. She had russet skin and dark brown eyes with black hair. She was the one from the funeral, the one I was supposed to go shopping with. Leah I think her name was. I wondered why she said 'burn me alive' but then I looked and my shirt. It had a mouth on it with fangs and read 'Bite Me'. Cute, she's clever.

"Ugh, fine..." I put on my 'True Religion' jeans they were holey but they were designed that way. I put on my 'Betsey Johnson' hot pink sequin skull top, with some hot pink flip flops. Although it was fall it was hot, Seattle seemed to be having an Indian summer. I put a hot pink feather earring in one ear, and a skull one in the other. I'm a big fan of the 80's.

Leah and I went to so many stores in Westlake Center, which was the main shopping mall in downtown Seattle. It was almost like I was back home shopping with Tanya and Kate. Which was nice.

Leah told me a lot of things. Like how her and Jacob were best friends. And how they started their business together along with the other morons Seth, Embry, and Quil. Her words not mine, though after the funeral I silently agreed. Jacob was originally a mechanic, but then built his own mini empire.

It made sense, Jacob seemed like the type to earn his own money. Unlike other people I know who were just born with it.

One thing I noticed Leah didn't mention was Jacob's love life. I highly doubted he didn't have one. Maybe she though it was too private to talk about since I am just seventeen and all.

I didn't really feel comfortable talking to her. It wasn't because I didn't like her, because I did. It's just most of my life story is a sad one, and I didn't want her to hear about that. So I only talked about the shallow things like shopping. I rather she think I'm shallow than pity me like most.

On the plus side I bought everything for my room. Which I planned on decorating after school or on the weekend. Ah, school I got all my school supplies ruefully.

I was nervous to go to school, I haven't gone since kindergarten. And kindergarten is nothing like high school, except for the fact that both of the kids there act like animals. No matter I was going to stick it out. And if I needed help or anything I could call Jasper.

It would all be fine. I had to reassure myself otherwise I'd freak out.

When I got to the place I must now, call home, Jacob wasn't there. Leah did say he worked a lot. But I found a note, it read, '"Nessie, I enrolled you in 'The Northwest School'. It's sorta far so you'll have to take the transit. Have a good day tomorrow. I'll be gone by time you wake up but I'll see you after school. I got you a new cell phone so we could keep in touch, my number is already programed in it. See you tomorrow."' It made me smile to myself because it sounded like he really cared.

It wasn't just a cell phone it was the new iphone, the white one. The one that they didn't officially release yet because of some coloring issues. Yet here it was, perfectly white and all mine. I tried to shrug it off like it was no big deal, because it wasn't. But the thought of Jacob actuality caring about me was nice. There wasn't many people outside of the little family and friends I had that cared about me. So it would be nice if he did.

I went to bed, knowing school would somehow be okay.

I woke up and showered, and didn't know what to put on so I decided to wear a new dress I bought. I don't remember much about kindergarten but I remember I wore a dress the first day. The dress was light green it was a mini and was a tank on top and flared out at the bottom. I put a light brown woven belt with it. And some high wedges the same color as the belt. I left my curly hair down but I tied the two front pieces together in the back. I looked a bit hippie-ish, but that was ok, I didn't want to be too dressed up.

I ate a fruit salad for breakfast, I was nervous so I couldn't eat much. I packed up all my belongings and walked to the transit station. It was weird for me because I've never taken public transportation before, plus in Chicago I had a car. I just told myself not to touch anything and breath out my mouth.

It wasn't that gross actually much better than how I imagine Subways to be. Or how they portray them in movies.

I got off at my stop and started to walk to my school. It felt good to be self sufficient even though of course I'm not financially, but still.

The Northwest School was huge and white. It was pretty classy. You could tell that people who went there had money. That pleased me, then at least I'd somewhat fit in.

Good job, Jacob.

I walked in and was about to go to the office when I smacked right into someone. The person dropped all their books.

"Sorry, I'm new." I said as I bent down to pick up their books. I really hoped I didn't make too bad of an impression. First impressions mean a lot and just got here. I didn't want to be an outcast already.

While I was kneeling trying to pick up this guys books he was still standing. Why was I doing all the work? These were his books.

I didn't look up at him because I felt him staring at me. The thought made me blush. I picked up the books and stood up ready to give them to him.

He was taller than me so I had to look up just like with Jacob. Except this guy was a little shorter, but still tall.

I looked up at him. And saw the same teak eyes, I've always known.

The books crashed to the floor as I gasped.

Okay, this needs to be said er typed. Please review. I don't mean to sound needy but hey, if the shoe fits...

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