As the Dust Settles
Chapter Two: Arrangements
It had been six months since the Rebellion had blown up the second Death Star over Endor's moon. Nearly that same amount of time had passed since Han Solo had seen Princess Leia Organa, kissing her goodbye inside the Falcon while docked on Home One. The mixture of love and loss and pain he had seen in her eyes that day had haunted him the entire time he was away.
To say that the news that she shared with him that day while hovering over the remainder of her home planet, Alderaan, was not shocking would be a bald-faced lie. But to say that it would affect the undying love that he had for that woman would be even more absurd. Han had never loved anything or anyone as much as he loved Leia and now it seemed he may have to prove that to her all over again.
Han supposed he should have found that fact frustrating or disheartening, but he didn't. Not a believer in fate or any such nonsense, he did believe that somehow he and the princess belonged together. That they belonged to each other in some sort of cosmically inexplicable way that no matter what may come between them or be thrown at them, that they would always somehow remain intertwined.
That she expressed doubts of his returning to her had not fazed him, either. He could only imagine how the news that Luke had shared with her about their heritage had affected her emotionally. To find out that the man (or monster) that had plagued her young adult life with misery was indeed her father on top of everything else that had been dealt to her made Han wonder how she hadn't lost faith in more than just him.
During his time on Kashyyyk, working alongside Chewie in freeing his occupied home planet, Han had ample time to contemplate the implications of Leia's bombshell. He had internalized it, absorbed it and let it fester and churn inside of him. It was certainly disturbing. But never in the entire time that he came to grips with the reality of her situation did he ever doubt his love for her.
Knowing in his heart and soul that she would have had to spend the last six months digesting the same reality made Han's stomach spin. He wondered if during that similar exercise she had come to the same conclusions as he had. Had this time allowed her to accept her new reality and include him in it? Or not?
Making bad matters worse, as the New Republic had scrambled to take control of the galaxy, the interstellar communication portals and satellites along with the traditional galactic capital of Coruscant had been two of the last things that the dwindling Imperials relinquished. Han had been unable to communicate with Leia at all in the past six months. He had no idea what he would be walking into today.
During his lonely journey from Kashyyyk to Coruscant, Han had contemplated all potential possibilities. Preferably the woman that he loved realized that life without him would not be worth living and things would move forward for them; deliriously happy and content.
But then there was everything else.
She could have come to the realization that she had never really loved him and that their relationship was based mainly on war and drama and in the absence of the Rebellion she would like a real General or a Prince, thank you very much. Or she could have been so devastated by the fact that Darth Vader was her father that she had come to the realization that she could not or would not allow herself to love anyone, much less him.
Han tried his best to prepare for whatever he might find on Coruscant. He reminded himself that he had lived without her before and he could certainly live without her again. He could join Chewie and it could be like the old days. Before he had met Leia life had been alright. He had taken some risks and gotten into a couple of scuffles, but he was a different person now. He could become a grown-up without her…or not. Scuffles and risks had been fun. But Han wondered just how reckless he would be without a reason for living.
Submitting his clearance codes and receiving his permission to land, Han fumbled with the controls of his beloved ship. Looking out over the bustle of Coruscant, Han surveyed the city that he had not visited in years. He had heard that the first couple of months had been a bloody battle over the densely populated capital city, but that the last few months had been more of a symbolic show of strength by the New Republic. Statues of the former Emperor were toppled. Buildings, streets and entire cities were renamed and ushered into the new era. Leaders were appointed, important positions were filled.
Han wondered what Leia had done during the battle and if she was okay; physically as well as mentally. He also wondered how submersed he would find her in this new government. Remembering the years that she had hidden behind the Alliance, desperately trying to escape having to face her feelings of guilt, failure and fear.
Han was tired of wondering.
As he set the Falcon down on its assigned landing pad, he looked out the viewport over the hangar floor. He immediately recognized a familiar figure walking hurriedly towards his ship and smiled. It didn't really surprise him that she was waiting for him, even though he was early and in spite of his doubts. Things had to go right for him someday, why not now?
He exited the cockpit, dashed through the main hold and lowered the gangway. As soon as the ramp began to lower, Han ducked and began to travel down to the hangar floor below, his view of Leia unfolding slowly and his heart beating faster as each centim of his princess was slowly revealed. First they locked eyes and the ramp lowered more and he saw her hands wrenched together in anticipation. A little lower and the ramp hit the ground as Han noticed what she was wearing.
The thin, flowing material of Leia's dress whipped about her legs as the crisp Coruscant breeze howled through the busy hangar. The dress was light green, Han's favorite color, and it hit her at the knees. She wore a low-heeled casual shoe and a small sweater top that was a shade darker than her dress. The air of Corsucant smelled industrial and reminded Han of Corellia. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as Leia's perfume mixed in with the distant memory.
Her hair was pulled back in a loose braid with several unencumbered strands framing her face and hanging down her neck and back. Han nearly froze in his tracks at the sight of her; she looked so different from the rebel with a blaster tucked in her waistband that he had been fighting alongside of for several years. He hoped that it was just her wardrobe that had changed so drastically…
He met her at the bottom of the ramp and she flung her arms around him and kissed him. No small fleeting kiss, no peck on the cheek like he was an arriving diplomat from a foreign plant, but a full-blown kiss, usually reserved for in his cabin, in the cockpit or the main hold…well, usually reserved for just about anywhere inside of the Falcon. Han's insides were turning to mush as the princess finally broke the kiss and lowered herself back down off of her tippy toes.
"You're kissing me like you're surprised I came back," Han teased her with a wink and a crooked grin.
"I'm not," she confessed as she smiled back at him.
Her words settled hotly into his chest and nuzzled up against his heart. So far so good, he conceded. Almost afraid to utter the question that sat at the tip of his tongue, like asking it would make her realize that she was not, he swallowed and cautiously inquired, "How are you?"
She silently let him study her for a moment, as if she was fully aware that he would get more out of her eyes than her words. Finally she replied; softly but firmly and never taking her eyes from his, simply, "Better."
Better was good, he decided.
Moving a stray piece of hair from her forehead, he bent down and kissed her there and as he drew away and found her eyes again, he smiled and whispered, "Good."
"I've missed you," she confessed as she looked up at him.
"I like being missed," he responded as he ran the backs of his knuckles along her cheek, tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and snaked his hand back behind her neck, all the while studying the face that he had memorized a million times over. He then pulled her towards him and exhaled heavily as she rested her head against his chest and returned his embrace.
This reception provided him an immense relief and he was more than a little surprised at how much it was affecting him. There was a tightening in his chest and he felt his eyes beginning to moisten. Then he felt Leia lift her head off of his chest and they reluctantly stepped out of their embrace.
"How's Chewbacca?" Leia asked him as she glanced at the Falcon and back to him.
"Chewie's good. I stayed until we got the last of the Imperials off of Kashyyyk but he stayed behind."
"And his family?"
"Malla and the kids are fine. He lost a brother and an uncle and…well, everybody lost somebody, you know."
Leia lowered her eyes and shook her head, as if she knew all too well.
Han continued, "Chewie's leading a task force to find and free all the enslaved Wookiees throughout the galaxy."
Leia looked up and replied, "I'll make sure the New Republic is aware of that and that he gets all the help he needs."
"I told him as much."
"Good."
Han looked down at her and smiled as he noted, "You're wearing green."
"Yes," she replied and smiled as she added, "don't you like it?"
"I do. I don't recall ever seeing you in anything but white or khaki."
"That's not true. I wore a dress on Ord Mantell."
"You're right," he agreed as he watched his hand travel down her arm and capture her hand in his, "but I try not to remember much about Ord Mantell."
Leia shook her head at him and he wasn't sure what she was thinking, their versions of Ord Mantell still seemed to remain polar opposites. Changing the subject she said, "NRI didn't have you slated to arrive until next week."
"Yeah, that intel is about five months old," he replied and then squeezing her hand he added, "so how exactly did you manage to know I would be here?"
"Well," she replied with a guilty smile. "I had a feeling."
"A good feeling?"
"Yes," she laughed and smiled at him as she pulled on his hand and they began to walk away from his ship. "Plus, I bribed some flight controllers."
Their casual conversation easing him out of his anxiety, Han chuckled and teased, "Now who taught you to do a thing like that?"
"Lando," she shot back at him with a devilish grin, if she meant to wound him, she succeeded.
"Lando?"
"Yes, we've actually been working together a little bit."
"Should I be jealous?"
"I don't see why, I'm sure Lando will spend plenty of time with you now that you're back," she deadpanned.
Han let out chuckle. Gods, did he miss her.
"Where are we going?" Han had been to Coruscant before, but everything looked so different and he couldn't tell where they were headed. He had arrived early in hopes that he could spend some time with Leia before he had to report to High Command and figure out what he was going to do with the rest of his life.
"Oh," Leia answered in surprise as she stopped and turned to him. "I thought you might want to relax and freshen up a bit."
He smiled down at her. Yes, he liked everything about Leia on Coruscant so far. "So, we're heading to…your apartment?"
Part of Han's debriefing on the relocation to Coruscant had included provisions for an apartment. He had been given the data chip outlining his options and the protocol to obtain his new quarters before he left for Kashyyyk. Unfortunately, he and Leia hadn't had a chance to talk about living arrangements during their trip to Alderaan.
"Um…yes," she answered evasively and Han watched blush creep her neck and into her cheeks.
"Um, yes?" Han repeated her. Leia Organa never said "um" and he wasn't letting this go by unnoticed.
Leia continued walking and answered him in a hushed voice, "Can we talk about this in private, please?"
Han shrugged and reluctantly conceded and as they continued to walk hand-in-hand towards this new chapter in their lives, Leia filled him in on some of the major players in the New Republic. Mon Mothma was Chief-of-State, Rieekan had been appointed a position over some secret intelligence wing of the military, Wedge was leading Rogue Squadron and the rest of the names and roles were just as predictable.
Han was surprised at first to learn that Lando had kept his commission, but as Leia explained the arrangement further, it made more sense. Lando had been appointed an Administrator role for Coruscant, and while the planet remained in a police state, Lando would keep his General's commission. But the expectation was that as soon as things had settled down, his position would be put up for an open election.
"I'd be surprised if he didn't get elected," Leia offered, "He really is doing a terrific job."
"Well, people and politics, that's right up Lando's alley," Han agreed and then asked, "What about you? You've told me about everybody but the one person I care to know about."
"Oh! I'm sorry, it wasn't intentional," Leia answered absently while she motioned for Han to enter the tall building approaching on their right. As he held the door for her and entered the massive lobby, Han had to take a minute to absorb his surroundings.
"Well, we're not on Hoth anymore, Your Highness," Han offered as he took in the large, glistening chandelier looming over their heads, its glowing reflection sparkling under their feet from the polished marble floors.
The lobby of her "apartment building" was cavernous and busy with important-looking people bustling all about. The sound of women's high-heels clicking on the floor bounced off the far corners of the room like a smashball and the smell of freshly cut flowers contrasted sharply with the smell of the busy Corsucanti streets. There were small seating areas sprinkled about, creating mini living rooms here and there where people sat and drank kaffe, some speaking in hushed whispers others with loud, booming laughter. After years of seeing nothing but Alliance-issued fatigues and dingy spaceport hangars, the place looked like a mirage.
Han looked over towards the reception desk, which seemed to be over a parsec long with several people working behind it. The middle of the room was sectioned off with barricades and a tarp was draped over the floor. Han noticed dust and debris peeking out from under the cover in stark contrast to the clean, shiny floors throughout the rest of the lobby.
"There was an Imperial insignia on the floor," Leia explained as she pulled Han towards the turbolifts. "It's been removed and the New Republic insignia will be put in its place."
"Ah," Han responded as he followed her.
Leia told Han which button to press on the turbolift and as the little car began to climb towards the one-hundred-and-thirty-second floor, Han asked, "So, what is it that you aren't intentionally not telling me?"
"Oh, that," Leia seemed to have genuinely forgotten where their conversation had left off. Of course, Han couldn't always trust his ability to read the polished politician, so he held his breath as she said, "I've accepted a position as the New Republic's Ambassador-At-Large."
"Which means…"
"Which mean that I'll be representing the New Republic to all of our member planets as well as acting as a liaison to potential new members to the New Republic, both by recruitment and by request. I have an office in the capital building and most of my role will be conducted on Coruscant."
As she finished the turbolift slowed and stopped at their floor. Han motioned for her to go ahead of him and he followed her down the long hallway as she continued to speak. The swirls in the carpet were dizzying as he walked behind her watching his feet walk along the winding hallway.
"Of course, the position will require some travel, both to member star systems as a show of support and to visit petitioning members."
Han noted the absence of any warning bells ringing in his head as he decided her position sounded appropriate for her skills and background and not too military or dangerous. Han never wanted to see Leia handle a blaster again.
She stopped in front of an alcove that sported two massive double doors that were flanked by two large planters with tall, brightly colored foliage trimmed into obelisks. Han had to raise his head to see the tops of them.
Looking down at Leia, Han waited.
"You can palm us in," she offered with a smile.
An anticipatory smirk crossed Han's face as he placed his hand on the scan grid and watched one of the doors slide open before them.
The couple walked in and as the door slid shut behind them, Han pulled Leia towards him and asked, "So, you let them program my palm print to your apartment?"
Placing her hands on his chest, Leia looked up at him and said, "Yes, well, they asked me for a list of nice men that I wanted to have access to my apartment."
"Is that right?" Han asked as he wrapped his hands around the small of her back and gave her a squeeze.
"Yes," she smiled as she snaked her hands up around his neck and looked him straight in the eye as she added, "But I told them I didn't know any nice men and asked if I could have one scoundrel instead."
Han smiled down at her before he lowered his lips to hers and gave her a long, slow, deliberate kiss. Breaking away from her he studied her face again and then as his eyes were drawn to the rest of their surroundings, he couldn't help but say, "This is quite an apartment, Sweetheart."
Her apartment was…ornate, to say the very least. Extravagant and palatial were two words that came to Han's mind. From the life-size sculptures flanking the corners of the room, their eyes watching over them like sentries on guard. To the towering water feature, quietly trickling in the background of their conversation. Certainly it was all befitting for a member of the Royal House of Organa, but he just couldn't imagine her requesting anything close to this for herself. From the Rebel that had insisted on being treated like everyone else these past three years, something just didn't add up.
"Yes….well," Leia chuckled as she took a step away from Han and looked around the room herself, as if she still couldn't believe what it looked like.
Then the couple looked at each other and said in unison, "Lando."
"Lando, again?" Han added incredulously. Just what had gone on while he was away, he wondered.
"Cool your jets," she chuckled, "I guess I should explain."
"Yeah, I guess you should."
"Lando's role as Administrator of Coruscant includes everything, from law enforcement to traffic to government housing."
"Oh, so he had a hand in assigning our apartments."
"Yes, and he gave me this one. Said when he saw it, he couldn't see anyone else in it."
Han watched her as she moved her hand up over her mouth while she shook her head and looked around, her eyes landing on each of the life-sized guards. Moving her hand up to her forehead, she pushed her hair back and let out a deep breath as if in defeat. Han could only imagine the contest of wills that had taken place over this turn of events.
Han laughed at her as he shook his head and said, "I hate to see what he picked out for me."
"Oh…," Leia stammered as she dropped her hand down from her forehead and added, "um…"
Han watched the blush creeping up her neck again as he replied, "Another um?"
Perking up at her reaction, Han's interest was thoroughly piqued. He had forgotten about her request to hold off on this conversation until they were in private. "What's up?" He casually asked as he stepped towards her.
"Well, you hadn't put your request in before you left and Lando was pressing me on whether or not you would need your own quarters."
Han could imagine Lando taking great joy in performing that task. "And?"
"And, we didn't have a chance to talk about it."
"About what?"
"Our, you know, living arrangements."
Han looked down at her. Her eyes were nervously darting back and forth looking into his and she was lightly pulling on her bottom lip with her teeth.
"Don't look at me like that," she said in a huff. "We never talked about it."
"I know. I'm sorry, it's just… I'm wondering what all the blushing is about, that's all," he said as he pulled her closer to him and added, "My imagination is running wild at the possibilities."
She looked down at his shirt and began to play with his buttons as she said, "Well, I told Lando you wouldn't be needing an apartment." And then she dragged her eyes up to meet his. This time they were very steady.
"I'm kinda tired of living on the Falcon, sweetheart," he teased.
"This place has several spare bedrooms."
"I hope to never see 'em," he whispered as he bent down and kissed her. Yep, he definitely liked Coruscant.
Leia applied a light pressure with her hands on his chest and Han broke their kiss and looked at her. They had not been intimate since Bespin. Fresh out of carbonite, Han hadn't been up to the challenge before being thrown into the battle on Endor. Following the battle, much to Han's confusion, Leia had been distant and put him off on their trip to Alderaan, even though their time alone on the Falconhad afforded them the perfect opportunity to pick up where they had left off. Leia's bombshell once at Alderaan may have explained her reluctance sufficiently, but it also meant that nothing had happened between them on their way back to Home One either.
Han felt his body responding to her nearness and her kisses and worked hard to keep himself in check. Although all indications so far seemed encouraging, he did not wish to pressure her. Despite the fact that he admittedly did not believe in such things, Han said a quick prayer to every deity he could think of that Leia was ready to enjoy all the advantages that living together presented.
"What time are you due to report in?" She asked. Han was surprised at how breathless she was already and the huskiness in her voice produced a stirring that he was not quite able to control.
"Not 'til tomorrow mornin'," he answered as he noted that she wasn't the only one who had gotten breathless.
Han watched her as she let a wicked grin crawl across her face and she began to pull at his shirt and walk backwards as she asked, "Would you like to see the bedroom?"
"Well, I'm really dying to check out the kitchen, but…"
Her face suddenly got serious and she took two steps towards him, almost lunging at him. He caught her in his arms and she was kissing him passionately before he even knew what was going on. Her arms were around his neck and he grabbed her by the hips and hoisted her up towards him. Shimmying her skirt up her thighs, she wrapped her legs around his waist and then pulled her head away from his and looked at him.
"I missed you," she said softly. Her eyes were glassy.
"I love you, sweetheart," Han answered her and then between kisses and nips and moans and gropes, he somehow found his way into their bedroom, stumbling onto the bed and on top of Leia before their eyes finally met again.
The minute their eyes met the smoldering fire between them cooled as if a bucket of iced water had been thrown on them.
Han watched as Leia swallowed a lump in her throat and then broke the awkward silence when she said, "I'm sorry how I left things between us."
Shifting to his side and settling in alongside of her, he grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together as he said, "Nothing to apologize about."
"I'm sorry how I dropped all of that on you at Alderaan."
Tears were trickling down the side of her face now and Han's heart ached as if someone was squeezing it in a giant fist. "C'mere," he said simply as he pulled her to him and she began to sob violently, her shoulders and chest heaving within his embrace.
After a long while he heard her struggling to calm herself and as she began to take several deep cleansing breaths, she mumbled into his chest, "I really am a lot better."
Han smiled. "I know, sweetheart," he said as he squeezed his arms around her, "but this is what I'm here for."
"Thank you," she whispered as she pulled him closer to her.
When her breathing had returned to almost normal Han felt her stir in his arms and he loosened his embrace. She pulled her head away from him and looked him in the eyes, offering him a small, weak smile.
"Is there anything you want to talk about?" Han asked gently.
"No," she shook her head and then added, "not tonight."
Her answer let him know, not surprisingly, that she still had lots to work out. He also felt, thankfully, that it was a good indication that she was ready to be open and talk things out which was a huge relief for him.
She wiped her face and then moved to sit up and he shifted to enable her to do so.
"I'm going to run to the 'fresher," she whispered and then when Han began to scoot off of the bed she grabbed his arm and said, "Why don't you get comfortable?"
"Leia," he started but she interrupted him.
"Please?" she said as she scooted off of the bed and then turned to stand in front of him. Offering her hand out to him, she helped him sit up in front of her and as she moved his bangs off of his forehead, her eyes watching her hand, she said, "I want us…"
As her voice trailed off her eyes dropped down to meet his, and after a short silence he replied, "You want us toooo…what?"
"No," she said with a smile as she shook her head and bit her bottom lip. Then, running her fingers along his afternoon stubble, she continued, "I think that was it. I want us."
The tight iron fist that had been squeezing his heart slowly loosened its grip and Han let out a deep breath and gave her a lopsided grin as she bent down and quickly kissed his cheek and then he watched her turn around and disappear into the 'fresher.