Imitating Myself
By: Late-Sleeper
Disclaimer: I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17
Chapter 8: Regrouping
Shikamaru swear he just heard Naruto scream his name but as he look at his back no one was there, except for a scruffy looking blond girl who was sporting a very short hair and has big blu…shit. "Naruto?"
The disheveled looking blond stopped on his track and caught his breath. Running fifty miles with a speed of a horse was really, exhausting, especially when you're wearing a tight blouse although the skirt, he must admit was pretty cool. It made Naruto really…free down there. Well, that's not the point.
"I…I…shit…I n-nee…need to t-talk…ha…ha…talk to you…ha…" Clutching his chest with his left hand he reached for Shikamaru with the other. The lazy boy raised a brow but proceeded towards his err…girly looking friend.
"Why the hell are you in drag?"
Naruto shot him a glare but didn't pounced on him like Shikamaru expected the blond to, with that anger the blond was emitting. The blond must be dead tired if it didn't pounced and rip him apart with that glare the blond was giving him. He must have done something bad. "Bastard, you gave me this. Don't act innocent on me, lazy-ass."
"But I didn't expect you to walk around town wearing it. It was for practice purposes only, stupid." Shikamaru sometimes wonder Naruto's sanity. Did their professor did the right thing, letting a dofus like Naruto even graduate college…far more high school?
"Well…it's bec…well…"
"What?"
"Because it is."
"What the hell is that reasoning." Shikamaru shook his head. "You know what I don't care what your reason is, come on let go somewhere private."
The so-called genius grabbed the blond's hand and drag him towards a shabby looking restaurant. At least there, no one who they know would go. He spotted a two-sitter at the back and he hurriedly yanked the protesting blond there.
A waiter walked towards them to take orders. The lady was really quite a looker that Naruto was sidetrack on how big her boobs were. "What do you need sweetie?" The girl winked at Shikamaru and purposely leaned towards him a bit to show her stuff at him. The genius, however, only grunted at that. Naruto on the other hand was getting slightly excited. "I'll take a chocolate sundae and a hot you on top."
The lady glanced at the grinning blond girl and snorted. "I don't do girl on girl." She rolled her eyes. "If that's all, I'll take my leave."
The blond jaw dropped at that, while Shikamaru cheekily snickered. "Bastard."
"Seriously Naruto why did you run after me?"
"Oh. Ah…you see…" Naruto face suddenly blushed up and he twiddled with his skirt a bit like a schoolgirl confessing her love. Shikamaru find that very amusing. "You see…I…well…."
"Spit it out."
"I think Sasuke is gay."
Shikamaru smirked. "And why would you think that?"
"Well…well he said I was cute…and he tried to kiss me."
"Oh."
"What do you mean 'oh'. Hey, my chastity is at stake here and all you could say is 'oh'." Naruto fumed and almost leaped on his seat to strangle the slightly bored Shikamaru.
"Weren't you practicing when he did that?" Naruto calmed a bit at that and pondered a bit for an answer. "Well, yeah."
"So Naruto. He didn't mean it like that."
"Oh. Your right…"
"…"
"But he said I was cute…"
A loud sighed broke off Shikamaru's lips. "Troublesome. Naruto, even if he said that with that meaning…it wouldn't mean he's gay."
"What?!"
"I'm sorry to break this to you, but, Naruto you don't look manly as you would like it to be…" Shikamaru laid his elbow on the table. He has a feeling it would be a long conversation. "I'm only saying this once…Naruto, you are cute. Even I could imagine you in girls gown and all and not be called queer…because you look like a girl if you wore a girl's clothes. That dress…" pointing to Naruto's skirt and blouse. "…only enhanced your…err…well cuteness."
Mentally Naruto was shrieking, no not like a girl…well more of a manly shriek, like a marine man shrieking. Well, anyway he was shrieking manly on what he just heard. Who wouldn't? When all along you thought you were masculine enough when in reality you were look upon as a girly man. No it can't be…NOOOO
"Naruto! Naruto!"
A slight slap woke Naruto from his trance and touching his burning cheek he swore the lazy ass was going to get it today. There was hell to pay. "Bastard, why did you do that?"
"Che. Cause you were spacing out. As I was saying, don't worry your not girly at all. Well…" Shikamaru sighed and shook his head as he seek for a right term he could say to the blond. "…just cute. Well you might say you're asexual. You could go both ways."
What the hell?! Now he's a what? A-asex? What the hell was that? Both ways? Is that why many guy freaks pinch his bum every now and then, or women pinching his cheeks and cooing at him. Is that it? Did Sakura think he was prettier than her so…Because he was…
"Is it because of the hair? Or my eyes?"
Shikamaru sighed and look at Naruto's eyes. The big blue eyes looking at him in anticipation. His gaze then lowered to his pouting lips. "I could lie to you and say no but, it is. You have a fucking big blue eyes Naruto and a blond hair that enhanced it…and you have that…well pouting pink lips."
"I do not pout."
"Whatever. The point is you look like Teppei Koike1…well the blond version of him anyway."
"What?! Hey, Shika are you watching again those Jdorama? You know your getting mushy with that."
"Says the man who look good in drag."
"Fuck you." Naruto gritted his teeth and snarl at his sighing companion. "That's it I'm dyeing my hair black and I'm going to wear black contacts, and you know what I'll even shave my brow like Gaara."
"Che troublesome. Naruto sorry to burst your bubble but you do have a cute big eyes…like a puppy. You can't change that." A sighed escaped his lips. He still wonders why he ever did befriended the blond. The blond was too troublesome to deal with. "Beside…girls dig that kind of look. Kinda, wanting to cuddle and pet you or something. Cheer up."
"How can I cheer up when you just told me I look like a girl then, now a puppy?"
"Troublesome. Fine Naruto, you do not look like a girl. Well, at least from here…" Shikamaru pointed to his neck and downwards"…down." Naruto's blouse was hugging him in right places. His shoulder was broad like a man should, his chest tone but not reaping with muscle…well just tone…like his arms...tone. It will really look freaky if the blond had suddenly build up muscle like a wrestle or some buff. That would be…err…grotesque. Think Baki the grapple2. Shikamaru slightly shivered at that notion.
So yeah, even with a girl's blouse Naruto was indeed a man. Although with the right size and sleeves, it could really hide all of that. Shikamaru snickered at that.
Well, at least Naruto's waist wasn't slim like that of a girl. 'Thank god' for that. It would be too troublesome not to kill rapist when every gay-seme would look Naruto's way and would want some giddy time with him. His butt was already too much distraction. Although seeing Gaara perform genocide would be a good plot for a story if he or Kiba would decide to pursue writing, well, that is if Gaara spare them too.
Shikamaru eyed Naruto from head to toe, and smirked as he eyed how the blond was sitting. He has his legs apart as though he wasn't wearing a skirt and was showing the whole world or at least Shikamaru that he was wearing a silk black boxer. Though he never remember the blond having that color before. Hmmm…Anyway, the blond thigh was lean too…not like those of a girl. His knees however fortunately, or in Naruto's case, unfortunately not knobby like those of the male population so if you just lengthen the skirt a bit and hide his tone thigh, yeah Naruto could pass as a girl…well a tomboy girl…or a muscular girl…or an athlete female, but not girly that's for sure.
Although. "Naruto…"
"What?"
"…do you shave your legs?"
Naruto glared at Shikamaru with so much malice the devil would be proud of him. "LAZY ASS, What do you mean by that?"
"hmm…wax it perhaps?" Shikamaru tapped his chin thinking. "Bastard, this…" Naruto pointed to his almost hairless legs. "…are natural. If you have curly fur down your legs doesn't mean every man should have one."
"Well, most of the guys do, Naruto."
"Well, Sasuke and I don't."
Shikamaru only snickered and wondered if the Uchiha ever waxed his legs, or is it natural like Naruto's. On the other side of town a loud sneeze could be heard.
Naruto crossed his arm over his chest and pouted as manly as he could. He was pondering why can't he be like the rest of the boys. Why can't he be like Sasuke. He has a delicate face but still he can't be called effeminate or cute…well he is cute but in a manly way unlike him. Why?! Why?
As if reading his thought Shikamaru sighed. "And the Uchiha can't be associated with cute mainly because he has this mysterious aura in him that girls really enjoy. You on the other hand would never achieve that. Even if you act all emo on me or what…you're sunshine, he's well, night time. So don't compare."
"What about Kiba?"
"Well, Kiba would be a wild wolf while you on the other hand would be a domesticated pet. Even if you act like him you would still look delicate enough to eat." This was getting too long for Shikamaru's liking. He was really on the verge of finally doing some work for the community by killing off the blond but he refrain for doing so. Barely I might add. Really, he was itching to strangle the blond with his bare hand if only it could be less messy. It would be a bitch to hide a crime scene or clean it.
"and you?"
Shikamaru sighed again, thinking it was really a getting to be nice idea to kill the blond. "Same as Sasuke's explanation."
"Liar." That ticked Shikamaru off.
All was heard was a loud thud and an earsplitting scuffle was heard thus ending the once quiet day in Konoha district.
:Tsuzuku:
1 Teppei Koike is a Japanese actor. I made a picture of him resembling Naruto on my lj…link is in my profile.
2 Baki the grappler is an anime about grappling. Most characters are very masculine, to the point you kinda freak out by it and no, I do not have a picture of it…never will. Google it or something.
Stoic-Genius: Yep, the word again was indeed mentioned by Shika…he was referring to Naruto's past experienced with Sasuke when they were kids.
I-love-u-a lot: Saa…sometimes I do wonder if Shika is a friend or a person who amused himself seeing Naru-chan in err…humiliation. Thanks for the review.
Mochiusagi: Yay! A fellow yaoi fan who wants Naruto in drag. Cheers!
Mickey8701: err…I've updated. Hehehe you know threats really are mush easier to make authors update…hmmm must threaten other authors to update their fic. (shouting in a distant) Hey you authors update your fics so I can read them, roar!!
Kai: Saa…you've read my mind girl. I always wonder what would Naruto be like in a skirt…but thankfully there is hanakimi (jdorama)…so yeah I patterned how Naruto would look like in drag in HanaKimi when Ikuta Toma and the rest where so pretty in drag but still has very err…manly physique. Still very pretty…
Sasunaru92: err…that would be a while…
Cluelessninja65: Saa… I wanted him to meet Sai but unfortunately Sasuke deleted that scene in my computer and threatened me with Lee's porn video…whaaaaaaa
Drarythoughts: don't worry this will be a long story…err at least long to my standard (I'm a one-shot author) Nope Sakura wouldn't be appearing yet.
IcecreamXD: yep no harm done. Actually that was my one of my…err hundreds mistakes. I do, most of the time type your instead of you're…my mind kinda skip it when I'm re-reading it thus leaving it there…saa…I really do need a beta…saa…hehehe thanks for the review.
Random19: I know what you mean…I even have this whole story plan out from end to finish but sadly the between chapters are the ones missing. Saa…if I could only make it to the end…
eTerNaLzAnzI98: (stare at the review) (stare) (stare) (re-read the said chapter) (stare) oh my god!! I didn't meant that, pervert…although I like how your mind works…cheers to perverts like us (dances happily in nude)
plimsoul: saa…prank…saa…well Sasuke here don't want to meet Sakura at all and is delaying my most precious time by flirting with Naruto instead…but don't worry the prank will pursue even if it means I have to fight Sasuke with claws and tooth, roar.
Skyinthenightslove: Saa…I did answer your questions already right? Saa…I love readers who ask questions (huggles) Shoot me questions I'm ready (dressed in warrior clothes)
So again people I'm drowning in writers block my two chapter inspiration run out…don't ask me why…because I already asked that myself, yell it even but my stupid self can't conjure some explanation so comments, suggestion, flames, request, plotlines, permission to write the next chapter…(what? I'm lazy like that) would be highly appreciated.
Ja ne