Chapter Seven, Part One: As I and Not As We
(A/N: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far. I'm dividing some of the longer chapters into parts so that they're easier to read. Make sure to review. --NL)
~Leia Bai~
"Why am I being punished?" I complained anxious about seeing Sean. He had rescheduled our 'date' for the next weekend and now that Saturday was here, my mom had decided to invite that Chinese spaz over here again.
I was beginning to wish that I could just disappear and for once no one would notice me. Whoever complained about their parents never being around or never caring about what they did obviously didn't know what it felt like to be on 24/7 surveillance, not just by my mom but by my older sister Kai too.
"Make sure and be nice." Kai said startling me from behind.
"I'm always cordial to him."
"Last time you asked him to wait outside and then never opened the door. Clever."
"It's not my fault that he's not that smart." I shrugged it off, smirking and conjuring up the next stunt I could pull on him. I forgot how fun it was to outsmart everyone.
"He has a 5.0 GPA."
"How is that possible?" I threw up my hands, shaking my head in disgrace. Way to make it harder for regular Asian people like me … a 5.0??
"He's in all honors courses and is doing extremely well unlike someone I know."
"Straight A kids don't have any fun. I want to have fun. To go out. To--"
"party?" Kai butted in, narrowing her eyes at me.
"Yes and there's nothing wrong with that."
"Except that mom and dad had to pull you out of ballet school because you were partying so much."
"Don't blame this on me. I'm not the reason…" My voice trailed off even though deep down I was thinking that it might've been my fault. The fact that my parents didn't even live together, but pretended that nothing was wrong , the fact that it happened after all of the bullying and name calling once I slept with a few guys … maybe I was to blame.
"Whatever you're thinking or planning for tonight, just act normal. Pretend that you're me."
~Alli Bhandari~
Itching always means that a product works. It's supposed to itch. When you use that Nair© stuff the only way it works is if it itches the hell out of your skin. I turned my head to one side and then the other, but I couldn't ignore how uncomfortable my face was feeling.
So I cranked up my music and logged online for a short chat with darkarabianknights. A quick chat turned into a thirty minute one about our philosophies, how his parents were so lenient on him Islamically, but how he came to conclusions about things on his own.
He completely did not sound like anyone I knew, which was what I loved about him. I wanted to stay there all night and type all of the things that no one should ever reveal about themselves online, but the discomfort got to me so I rushed to the sink and flushed my face with lukewarm water.
As the pain died down I started to breathe more easily and looked to the mirror excitedly for my results. Unfortunately, my face looked the same, exactly the same which bummed me out a lot. Now was as good a time as ever to take a nap, so I shut off the computer and crashed.
It was when I woke up the next morning that I realized how much different the cream really did make. The first person to comment on it was Sav.
"Alli, what happened to your face?" He practically screamed coming abnormally close to my face and touching it.
"Get away weirdo." I pushed him out of the way and went down to eat breakfast. Sav had tried that trick before but this time I wasn't falling for it. I had my normal breakfast of a breakfast quesadilla and rushed back upstairs to shower and get ready for a Claire freakout and Leia pleading for forgiveness. Just another day at Degrassi.
It was when I looked in the mirror that I saw exactly what Sav had been talking about. The cream had worked alright and all too well. My face no longer had its healthy orange-brown glow of yesterday. Now, it was a pale brown to the point where my skin looked like I had rubbed powder all over it. Not only did it make me look like a ghost, but I also had clusters of mini-pimples all over and broken cracked skin.
"Mom! Dad!" I yelled in a panic. Once I explained this situation to them, they would let me stay home from school for sure. They had to.
~Armando Felix Gutierrez Martinez-Hassan~
"Hurry up out there Hassan. Go!" Coach yelled as I tried to get it together. Since I had dropped so much weight, I had been faster, but these two-a-days and salads for lunch were killing me. I was drained. When Riley made it past me for the third time in a row, coach called me over.
"What the hell is going on?"
"He's super-fast today. I can't catch him."
"No excuses. Get that out of your head. Want to know a secret?" Coach Jeremiah asked as I nodded in response. He was going to tell me anyway. "Last week you and Riley were our top runners … that took me for a spin since you've had trouble keeping up with the rest of the team due to your extra weight. But I'm looking at you and all that's disappearing now."
"Yes sir." I nodded wondering where this was going.
"You get out there and stop him. Think fast." He gave me a hard push/pat on the back, thrusting me back onto the field with the rest of the team. I tried to get my mind right and think good things. Hácelo. By the end of the play I was back to doing what I did earlier.
Once practice was over Coach Jeremiah cornered me.
"How'd you lose all that weight so fast son?"
"Personal trainer." I lied, pouring a half full bottle of water over my head.
"You can either lie to me now or tell me the truth before I find out."
"You said I weighed too much, I got rid of it. The sloppy weight is gone. It's not coming back." I promised, brushing him off.
"You looked tired out there Hassan."
"All of the guys are tired." I argued back refusing to tell him about the diet supplements and extensive diet I lived by.
"You looked exhausted … I'm keeping my eye on you Hassan and in the future don't lie to me."
~Leia Bai~
David just did not know when to leave. My mom had left dinner early because she was "sick", thank God, and now I was stuck saying my ni haos and other polite things just so that Kai would get off my back. It didn't take long for her to make up some excuse to leave me alone with him and I had to remember to keep myself in check.
No profanity and no English. Zhongwen only. I rolled my eyes, knowing that it was one gesture that Kai couldn't pick up from wherever she was lurking. After a drawn-out dinner, David looked at me like he wanted to do something else.
There was no way that I was going to take him anywhere, but I needed to get rid of him. I really wanted to call Sean and go out on our date tonight. I was so excited, but it was already 7:30 and "Da Wei" was not going anywhere.
I took him over to the living room, trying to think of how I could say what I needed without it being obvious to Kai or otherwise "rude."
As we watched TV, I yawned looking at my cell phone every five minutes. We were supposed to meet up at 9. By the time I took the metro over there or took a taxi … I'd be late. "Ahem." I heard Kai hint in the background.
"Can you give us some privacy?" I wandered, abandoning my Chinese for a moment.
"Hao. If she gives you any trouble, you tell me." Kai said to David in Chinese, of course.
When I was sure that she was gone, I let my mind wander until I came up with this brilliant plan on how to remove David from my life eternally.
"You can put your arm around me." I suggested, trying to pretend like I was so innocent and had never done anything like this before. David smiled eagerly as I slouched into the couch a little. When he took no action beyond that, I saw that this was useless and that he couldn't follow the yellow brick road.
I turned to look at him, ignoring that he wasn't Sean, and kissed him suddenly. Dude had no idea what to do or what not to do, but I had had worse kisses. As the length and force of our kisses strengthened, I tugged on his jacket. David hesitated a little until I ensured him that it was okay.
I even took off my shirt first to reassure him. That was enough for things to escalate as far as I needed them to. The result was me temporarily assuming my previous role as the devirginizer, taking this neophyte and teaching him my corrupt ways.
Emotion I was devoid and detached from, but I allowed myself to be heard. I made sure to be as loud as possible, announcing our adulteration to anyone that had ears. I was hoping for mom, but I got Kai instead. She pushed the two of us apart and politely as David to leave.
I lay there with a smirk on my face, my lipstick smeared everywhere. Victory.
"Stop laughing. You haven't won."
"But I have. Mom will never let him in knowing what we've done together and with boys once you start something like that you can't just stop it." I continued as she slapped me in disgust.
"Have you no pride? No respect for us and our family? The Bai name?"
"This isn't Mulan." I snapped back. "Honor and pride doesn't matter in this country. It's who you know."
"Well, Mama won't know anything about this. I won't slander Chen Da Wei's name."
"It's not slander if it's true." I argued back as she through my clothing back at me.
"Get dressed. You look like a common prostitute." She said with an anger so deep that I actually did feel subordinate to her. As I pulled on my shirt, Mama came down the steps slowly and steadily.
"What's going on?" She paused once she saw me pulling on my shirt. "What did you DO?"
"I had sex and it was good." I smiled triumphed. Mom did find out after all. My felicity was transient as Mama yanked me up and started yelling curses at me in Chinese. There was a lot of screaming and confusion about how I had made dad leave with my whorish ways. Her verbal contempt switched to physical beatings instantaneously and I was soon crouched on the floor in a ball trying to escape the hits that she was giving me. Despite my protests, she was not letting up.
~Armando Felix Gutierrez Martinez-Hassan ~
I had no right to be here. I didn't belong, but I was attracted to Hana's gym like a bird to freedom so I had to have it.
"We're closing." Hana announced as she heard the bell before even noticing it was me. She looked so beautiful with her brown hair falling slightly in her face as she scribbled down something. The curve of her body reminded me of the last time I'd seen her completely naked. Vulnerably beautiful.
"Sorry to hear that." I responded as she looked up from the paperwork she had.
"You're either brave or very stupid."
"You gave me a key." I argued back.
"I'm having it changed tomorrow." She answered, turning to her left to further distance herself from me.
"You don't have to do that. I want to explain everything. What you saw on Thursday wasn't as intimate as it seemed. I'm not in a relationship with that girl or anything. She just keeps showing up wherever I go … like a stalker."
"So she stalks you … really?" Hana shook her head at me.
"Yeah so it doesn't change us, does it?"
"Of course it does … Felix, I could go about this two ways; as an adult or I can stoop down to your level so that you can understand it."
"I'm ready to hear whatever you need to say." I admitted, dropping my duffel bag on the floor and taking a seat on one of the benches in the front of the gym.
"I am a very, very foolish woman for doing what I did. I let you seduce me into the idea of having a relationship beyond what I share with Said. And I know better. I'm financially stable, I own my own business. I'm doing okay where I am and you … Well, you're just a kid--"
"So you don't care about the kiss?"
"I didn't say that, but it made me realize some things, the main one being that I want you to terminate your membership here after this month." Hana declared without looking sad at all. If anything, she seemed very clear-headed and pensive. I guess that's what two weeks away can do to someone.
"How will I see you then?" I wondered despite myself.
"InshAllah you won't."
"You don't mean that." I began. "The way you were with me, I've never been that way with anyone in my life. It was beautiful, magic--"
"It was haram and I'll be spending the rest of my life making up for it. God forgive me."
"So you regret it?" I wondered feeling like the core of my stomach had run out on me.
"Dearly."
"Oh." I nodded, walking back over to my bag and taking out my iPod. I plugged in Akon, knowing that it would help me to drown all of this out. Whatever she said after that, I couldn't hear. I hopped on the nearest treadmill and starting running profusely. We were going to see who went down first, me or the machine.