Disappearance
I wasn't a very good hunter.
I got the blood all over me, and it was not nice. We had elk, in the nearby woods, and I did not have a lot of fun...
We had only gone several kilometres into the woods surrounding the clearing when I picked up a gorgeous smell. It was coming from the north, and I stopped immediately. It took a split-second's thought before I sprinted flat-out northwards. I don't think Edward or Bella and Renesmee even noticed at first.
I shot through the woods like a bullet, getting closer and closer to this gorgeous delight. I swerved around trees and rocks and a small creek. I ran through fields with knee-high crops growing in them and a huge clearing with a... baseball pitch...? Marked in the centre, twice the size of a normal one...
Then I reached an opening.
And I stopped.
The delightful smell was coming from first beach, on the Quileute reservation.
The delightful smell was humans.
I was repulsed by myself. I turned and shot back the way I had come, straight into Edward and Bella, Renesmee on Bella's back. Edward lay on top of me pinning me down. And I cried. I was so disgusted with myself, repulsed. I just cried and cried and cried, soaking my top and Edwards before he got off after several minutes. The couple stared at me in awe, occasionally whispering to each other until I'd cried myself out.
I got up with my eyes closed, and when I was sitting, I opened my eyes to find Renesme playing in some fine dirt nearby, but what really worried me was that Edward and Bella were staring at me like I'd just walked on water.
"What is it?" I asked.
"You cried," Edward said as though in disbelief.
"Sorry..." I said, very confused by now. "Should I... not have cried?"
"But you don't understand... vampires can't cry," Bella said warily.
"And they can't sleep, ever."
"Or feel the cold."
"Well maybe I'm not a vampire! Maybe I'm just a glorified human! I don't care, I just care about Nyx! I just want to see my Grandma! I want to go back to Neferet! But no-one cares about me. Not here. I just... I can't stand it... I don't like drinking blood! Okay, so human or vampyre blood is nice, it appeals to me. I don't want to enjoy it, it's disgusting."
"Okay, Zoey it's okay. Stop worrying," Bella said taking my hands and pulling me up into a tight, loving hug.
Bella was cold, but she was bearable, not icy. She was so friendly and accepting I just hugged her back. I couldn't help it, she felt nice. She felt like my Grandma. Our embrace lasted a long time, but I was only half there, and before long I had fallen asleep on her shoulder.
I only had one elk after that, and then I fell asleep again.
And now I found myself in a huge bed with cream covers in a huge room with cream walls. This room was on the east side of the house because the entire back wall was glass.
Esme was sat at the end of the bed and Carlisle was looking at some texst-tubes and he had a huge pile of text books beside him.
"Oh! Zoey, you're awake!" Cried Esme happily, and Carlisle's head snapped up before he was at my side in an instant.
"How do you feel?" He asked, concerned.
"Fine... why wouldn't I...? Shouldn't I?"
"No! Of course not Zoey! We want you to be okay! We're just worried about you; you've been a bit... detached recently." Esme said smiling at me.
"What do you mean recently? I've just been asleep for a bit..." I said, my forehead creasing in confusion.
"Well... Zoey you've been out quite a while... four days in total... and I can't find your kind in any books, you're completely new. You have twenty-six chromosome pairs. There's no one else like you Zoey," Carlisle said, awed. "You are unknown even to me, you are undiscovered until now... you're amazing."
"Why?" I said stupidly.
"Because you're new sweetie, you're special," Esme said with a wide smile.
"I don't want to be special! I want to be me! I'm already special enough! I'm special because of my marks! I'm special because of my powers! I'm special because I'm alive; I'm special again because I'm new! I don't want to be special anymore," I said, a lump rising in the back of my throat while I wiped a few traitor-tears from my shaking cheek.
"Hey, hey! Zoey baby it's okay! Come here," Esme said, pulling me into her arms. I burst into tears. This family was so accepting, so loving towards me, and they didn't even know me. How could I keep complaining like this? It wasn't fair on them. I hugged Esme tightly, wishing, just like I had with Neferet, that she was my mother, that she was that close to me.
"So do we," Edward said suddenly, materialising in the door way and then speeding to sit by me.
"But she is close to you," I whimpered. "You're lucky."
"I know," he took me into his arms for a brief period before shifting away. "I also know you like to feel welcome, and we will be doing our best to make sure you feel that way." Without another word he got up to leave the room.
"Edward?" I said just before he turned out the door. "I'm sorry about what I said before... I know that you and your family are trying your best to care for me, and so Thank you. I appreciate it."
"S'okay." He said quietly, sighing the words.
"Come on then Zoey," Esme said, her amber eyes gleaming, "you must be hungry!"
"No! I'm not, really I'm not... I'm as far from hungry as you could possibly imagine... I... uh..." I tried to think of some excuses not to drink any more blood, but came up with none.
"Hey... we got you some human food," Esme said, obviously concerned for my welfare.
"Um... thanks," I said, though I really did appreciate it.
"Zoey!" cried Renesmee, entering the room suddenly and making me jump.
"Hey," I said quietly.
She touched my cheek, and again I was taken aback.
She showed me pictures of my sleeping body and her thick worry clouded my mind. She also showed me pictures of Rosalie and Emmett having a fight, and Edward joining it, then Bella. Soon the whole family was in a massive argument, Rosalie, Jasper and... Jacob? ...against the others. Then Rosalie left and Renesmee's sadness flooded my mind, and I couldn't stop the tears from brimming over, as her's did all that time before. Then she showed me pictures of her feeding on human blood out of a white cup, and I became acutely aware of her beating heart, of the blood slithering through her veins, and my mouth watered.
I was pinned against the concrete wall above the bed in milliseconds. Edward was staring at me with pure hate and his strong hands closed around my throat cutting off my air supply. Renesme was in Bella's arms, and when Bella looked at me she did not show Edward's hate, she showed relief for her daughter's welfare and worry, directed at me.
"Edward! Stop! You're killing her!" Carlisle shouted from the floor, which seemed quite far below me. He let go of my throat and I fell on the bed. He took Renesme from Bella, and they left together, Renesme and Bella both looking over their shoulders at me with worried faces. They left the room, and I did not see Edward's hateful expression again, thankfully.
I lay on my front, my knees bent and leaning on my right hip, my hands in front of me as supports, as I gagged and choked and vomited in the kidney-dish Carlisle had placed beneath me.
Esme patted my back and held my hair out the way, murmuring that I would be okay in a minute and that there was nothing to worry about, but there clearly was. Edward was their son, he'd never do this. And this was another non-vampire thing. I could see it in Carlisle's helpless face.
I sat back and leant my head on the wall, and then lurched away at a sharp acute pain at the back of my head. I reached back to touch it and my hand reappeared with blood smeared across it. But it wasn't normal blood. It was the sapphire colour of my marks. It covered the intricate pattern on my palm, hiding it completely.
Yet another set of tears brimmed over and rolled down my cheeks, while I shook (though I'm not sure why – I don't think anyone understands teenagers, even sixteen-year-olds) and Esme and Carlisle shared a concerned, worried glance.
What was wrong with me?
I sat curled up on an antique chair in the study, while the family had a debate about what we should do.
I had been a vampire for exactly seven days now; I had been watching the clock the past few hours while the Cullens argued, frozen in this foetal position in this chair. It wasn't even a very comfortable chair, but I didn't particularly notice, I had learned that I had a lot of time on my hands, and that no vampire really got bored or achy if they did not move for a time. I had so much time that it scared me, because I was immortal: I had eternity.
The family still argued about whether they should go or not, but to be honest, I would agree with Alice: she had not seen the situation ending well, had they gone, and I certainly wouldn't bet against her visions.
However, Esme wanted to go, she wanted to be there, to comfort and support, and Emmett agreed.
Jasper, Alice and Carlisle all thought they should stay. Jacob said they should make up their minds' soon or he would explode. Edward told him "Go then" and he did, phasing once he got down the stairs outside (I could hear and see it through the glass wall).
Edward was at first undecided about what they should do, but he later sided with Alice, saying it would be best to wait.
Bella stood by the glass east wall, Renesmee asleep in her arms, though she was quite big, with her hand on Bella's heart. Bella was listening to her dreams.
"Why is Renesmee so big? She wasn't that big before, she's grown in the past week," I said, never taking my eyes off her, overflowing in Bella's makeshift cradle.
"She is also rare, as you are," Carlisle said matter-of-factly, "She grows around four centimetres a day. She will be fully grown by the age of fifteen, and she will then be immortal, like the rest of us."
"Oh."
Bella stared at me as I stared at Renesmee longingly, and I found myself rubbing my flat stomach. I would never have what Bella had. I was frozen like this forever. A tear escaped my eye and it snaked down my cold cheek.
Bella soon turned away to stare out the window again, listening to Renesmee's dreams. But I did not take my eyes off the little girl. I sat in my dark, wood chair while the argument continued around me.
Carlisle was sat at his desk, which was piled high with books, with the back of his swing chair against it's front. Esme was sat on his lap, her arms around his neck, his around her waist. They looked upon their family: Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Edward, discussing.
Esme still thought it best to go after Rosalie; to track her and bring her home, but Carlisle still thought it best to let her have her freedom.
Emmett was really guilty: apparently it had been him who started the row with Rosalie before she left. But it was not jut his fault. She was unhappy. She wanted a child of her own so badly, she envied Bella. She was unhappy that Emmett did not agree they should adopt a human child, she was upset she did not get any attention and she was upset that I seemed to be cared for more than her.
She had asked Emmett if they could try to adopt a human baby, but he disagreed, he was fed up with her need for a baby. Then it all kicked off, and Rosalie just left.
I sat, in the way. I was not needed in this situation, so I got up to leave them to it.
"Wait, Zoey?" Emmett called me.
"Yeah?"
"Um... I'll go with you, I'm tired of this." The rest of the family were oblivious to this conversation, as they were to us leaving.
We walked slowly through the woods surrounding the house towards the perimeter that the five wolves (Jacob: a russet wolf and the alpha; Embry: a light grey wolf and Jacobs right-hand man; Quil: A dark grey chunky wolf who circled on Jacob's left side; Leah: The girl who had met us in the clearing with Sam; and Seth: A small sandy-coloured wolf who, to his dislike, ran at the back of the pack) circled every day, morning and night. When we reached it, we turned and followed the circle towards the river.
We didn't really say much. I asked him about his and Rosalie's past: She had saved him when he was being mauled by a bear and carried him hundreds of miles so that Carlisle could change him.
She however, had been saved by Carlisle when her drunken (rich) fiancé had beaten her up with his mates, raping and clawing at her, slicing and punching and breaking her skin until she was close to death.
Emmett enjoyed being a vampire. He liked having the strength and speed and he liked his family.
But Rosalie would have preferred to stay human, to fall in love with another of that kind and have children. She would have loved to change the world for the better as a human, and when she was changed she was meant for Edward, but he saw her only as a sister until she found Emmett and he twigged.
Emmett and I had a long chat about the Cullens: Alice found Jasper in a vision when she was a newborn, and they just turned up one day and she asked which room was hers. I laughed. She was so crazy! I loved Alice, I decided.
Edward was kicked into the garage. He didn't like it. I laughed again.
Carlisle had saved Esme when she had jumped off a cliff. She was taken straight to the morgue, though her heart was still beating. Carlisle saved her there and then.
Carlisle saved Edward when he was dying of Spanish influenza in 1918. He was the first Carlisle changed, for company.
Edward had changed Bella. Renesmee grew so fast that she was born in a month of conception, and she beat Bella up from the inside. Bella had broken her spine, and Edward just took Renesme out of her open womb and injected her with venom, straight into her heart. She narrowly made it, but the venom fixed her, and she made the change without a scream, without even a writhe.
Carlisle had changed more than three hundred years ago, when he took over his father's position in the Catholic Church, and went out searching for and hunting vampires. He did not falsely accuse and execute, as his father had, but he really came across a coven of vampires. They attacked him and he changed in silence. He has never killed a single human to this day, but he is a surgeon; he has saved many humans from death, and it brings him happiness still.
We sat down at the river, half-laying on the sloping bank, while we talked and laughed and bonded, getting to know each other so I really did feel welcome, and I finally felt happy here.
Neither my grandma nor Neferet ever crossed my mind.