Dilemma

I couldn't concentrate in my first hour. It was sociology with professor Neferet (how creepy – the name! It brought tears to my eyes – she even looked sort of like her!) and I just could not focus.

And I was scared out of my life.

By my fifth and last hour, Equestrian studies with Lenobia (she believed that the name of the goddess Nyx's close associate was enough – no Prof needed.) I still couldn't concentrate. I found it really cool that Lenobia was a teacher in a real school – not a House of Night, but straight after the lesson I took off my flesh-coloured gloves and showed her the marks on my palm.

I was not happy, so all I did was hold up the palm, not saying anything, or even smiling.

She gasped. "Zoey Redbird." I dropped my palm. My odd marks were widely known, obviously.

Lenobia wiped the special Vampyre concealer off her face to reveal amazing marks that looked like horses plunging into water, creating beautiful swirls around her eyes. I walked away, too distracted and worried and scared to care.

"Zoey? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said briskly, leaving the room and practically running from the school grounds. I decided on the way that I hated Forks High School.

The scene after Emmett and I kissed kept replaying in my mind until I felt sick with worry and wanted to cry I was so scared. I ducked into the woods across from the gates and when I was far enough in I began to run.

When I got close to the house, just a little way up the river, I stopped and sat on the grass. I was surrounded by most of my elements – Earth, Water and Air. I picked up a dry twig and lit it with my bare fingers. There was fire. But I could not conjure spirit, and I did not know how.

Rosalie was furious. With me. With Emmett. With everyone.

The scene replayed in my mind again, and I leant back against a big oak.

Emmett jumped as she appeared, perfectly blonde and perfectly beautiful. He'd been caught red-handed, another girl in his arms. And I had a faint idea of what that whisper I heard earlier was, too.

"Glad to know you missed me."

"Rose?"

"You're not usually this slow. Tongue-tied?"

"Well... It's just... I mean... What a surprise... to see you..."

"I'm sure it is."

"Um... Hey Rose," I said nervously.

"It's Rosalie to you, you worthless bitch."

"Oh... uh, sorry... Rosalie."

"So, babe, whatever have you been up to while I was gone?"

"I... uh..."

"We've been... hanging out..." I said helpfully.

"Sure you have, bitch."

"It's Zoey... to you."

"I don't f**king care bitch!"

"Hey!" Emmett yelled. Uh-oh.

"'Hey' what? Huh?"

"Rose-"

"What! I mean what the Hell, Emmett! We're supposed to be married!"

"And we are, I just... I didn't think you'd be back at all. Zoey was there for me."

"What, so you thought you'd just get with her? Just use her as a replacement?"

"No!" I shouted, before I could stop myself. "It wasn't like that!"

"What was it like, then, bitch!"

I was taken aback. It was like that, wasn't it? I was a replacement.

"I... Uh-"

"Exactly! It was like that!"

"Rose," Emmett said, slurring her name down at the end as if he were fed up, as if this were typical.

"No! Shut up! Neither of you can think of a good excuse so why don't you just tell me the truth about that slut?"

"She is not a slut! Yeah, it was like that. You left over the same shit as always, you'd had enough, blah, blah, it was all you wanted, blah, blah, didn't I love you, etc, etc. Come on Rosalie it's your fault!"

Rosalie looked as though she'd been slapped around the face. Her forehead was wrinkled but her eyes did not glaze. I remembered that I was the only one who could cry.

"I... But..."

"Yeah, exactly. You overreacted, got pissed off."

"Emmy... I'm sorry...I just"

"Look, this is your fault Rosalie, Zoey was here to help me. She didn't freak at anything I said, she didn't scream when I did something wrong, she... accepted me."

Uh-oh, it was time to make my move. "I think I'm gonna-"

"No, Bitch!" Rosalie shouted at the same time Emmett said, "Yeah, let's go."

"Um..." I said.

"Bitch! You stole my husband! We've been together almost a hundred years! You can't take that away from me! You just CAN'T!"

Rosalie was shaking violently with sobs that wracked her chest. I wasted to take her into my arms, she was such a blonde beauty; she looked only a child, heartbroken and hormonal.

I took a step toward her and reached out to take her hand. I laid a finger on her cold hard palm, and she reached out.

It blurred.

Her hand, it blurred, and before I knew it I was in the corner of the room, dizzy beyond sense. A hand grabbed my ankle with such ferocity it clicked, and I was dragged up and thrown around, so I landed flat on my bum. Then a silver-white hand clamped onto my throat and I was pushed up the wall, leaving a smear of blue blood from my cracked head on the cream wall.

"You. Have taken. Everything. From me!" She made the sentence into separate sections, hissing the words, spitting them out at me.

"Rose!" Emmett shouted. He charged into her like a rugby tackler, but she didn't budge. Her eyes were glowing with venom, and her eyes were set on me. She gritted her teeth and stared unblinking into my golden eyes, increasing the pressure on my neck.

I closed my eyes and prayed to Nyx. I didn't want to hurt Rosalie. I didn't want to manipulate the elements to hurt a family member. So I prayed. Much along the same lines as the prayer I sent when I was burning, when I was changing.

"Rose," there was a chorus of voices. I opened my eyes slowly, to find the whole family around us. Edward was restraining Emmett in the corner, Carlisle had his hand on Rosalie's shoulder and the rest of the family surrounded our corner in a variety of defensive poses.

The ferocity remained in Rosalie's orange eyes. Orange. They weren't gold.

Edward's head snapped round. He'd heard me. He'd heard that thought.

"Rose, you didn't," he said, almost like a plea.

"Rose?" Carlisle sounded so disappointed. Not let down, as such, but almost guilty, as though it was his fault Rosalie's eyes had adjusted, his fault she'd drunk from a human.

Suddenly, a huge chocolate-brown fur-ball bounded into the room, snarling.

Rosalie's head snapped up and her hands released my neck. I fell to the floor, choking and retching and gasping for breath. So now I'd been strangled by two members of the family. Great, only eight left to go discounting Renesmee.

Cold fingers were pressed to my neck, feeling my pulse. Carlisle put a stethoscope to my chest and cradled me in his lap, like the father I'd never had (he'd left when I was two). I felt so warm and loved in his comforting arms that I leaned in, shaking from my ordeal.

Rosalie darted out the window. Edward released Emmett and Esme came to grab me up, but I clung to Carlisle, taking in his smell; slightly minty but very clean, almost too clean, like in a hospital. I looked up at him and his golden eyes melted; became molten. They burned with relief, with happiness. He smiled at me, and I could not help but return the smile.

He released me and I slid off him while he gathered up his medical things. As soon as I was up, Esme and Bella each grabbed one of my elbows in unison. I felt a happy-cry moment coming on. Ugh, I'd gotten so emotional now I was immortal!

They took me and sat me down on the bed, and Emmett came to sit by me.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Hey, it wasn't your fault."

My marks blazed with relief and happiness that Emmett was alright.

"Hang on – what did she call you just now?"

"Oh, ugh... Emmy"

I laughed.

"It's short for Emmy-Bear," Edward interjected, cracking a smile.

I laughed harder. I took Emmett in my arms and cuddled him close, like a teddy bear, and said, "My Emmy-Bear."

I leant back against the cold, mossy tree, pressing my back against it's squashy-ness.

A searing pain shot through my back, starting at my neck and streaking down, setting anything attached on fire, which of course meant my whole body.

Piercing pains came at my shoulders and down my back, on my palms and then across the chest, and eventually across my forehead. My marks were being torn apart.

I was not being killed, I was being tortured, and it was working.

The pain returned to my neck and I felt my life-blood being drained.

I grabbed spirit and threw it at my attacker full force, and they were knocked back. I stood shakily and turned to see Rosalie sprinting toward me, her face crazed and vicious.

I called for earth and tripped her with a root, then wind to blow her back.

I could feel my blood spilling from the bite wounds, slithering out of the large slits and snaking down my intricate sapphire swirls.

I screamed as Rosalie charged again, knocking me back against another moss-covered tree. She pinned me against it and pierced the front of my neck, drinking and draining.

I threw the biggest mass of spirit I could conjure, hurled it at her.

And ran.

I was drained of energy, I'd lost so much life-blood and I'd lost energy channelling the elements.

And yet I'd never run so hard in my life. I sprinted back toward the house, jumping the river and weaving through the trees.

I saw the back of the house, but did not bother to go to the front entrance. I ran for my life, straight through the glass wall and into the living room. I tripped and then remained there, and after several seconds I fainted.

It didn't last long though. Not long enough.

I woke up whilst being stitched. They wouldn't have put me under anaesthetic at a hospital, so I didn't ask Carlisle to put me under. It's just... there were so many slashes and bite marks it took hours just to do my back and shoulders, and then I had to lie on the stitches for him to do my chest.

My face, however, was another story. I cried silently throughout the rest of my body, to save Carlisle from the torment, but I had to sob and howl during this one, it was awful. Not as bad as me changing, but awful.

Carlisle was covered in blue blood by the end, and he asked if he could test it. I agreed. The more I knew about myself and my limitations, the better.

For the next few days Bella stayed close by my side. I slept and woke so irregularly I didn't even know how long it was until I would see little Renesmee again.

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