Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of its plots or characters.

October 31, 2005

"Yeah, well dad's in real trouble right now, if he's not dead already; I can feel it," Dean said forcefully, trying to get the seriousness of the situation across to Sam.

It was well after midnight and the two Winchesters were standing outside Sam's modest apartment building, having a stand off; neither willing to back down. Dean had almost forgot over the past four years, just how stubborn his oldest brother could be.

Dean sighed lightly, frustrated. This conversation was absolutely exhausting him, however easy that was these days due to the very little sleep he was always running on.

Dean had to turn his eyes away for a moment as not to give away his tangled emotions, before deciding on softer approach that he knew always got to Sam.

Looking back at his brother with sincere eyes, he continued "I can't do this alone."

And it was true. Maybe he had a few weeks ago after his family had first gone missing; but not anymore, he couldn't do it anymore. Not with both his dad's and his brother's lives on the line. The silence and loneliness was becoming oppressive and it wasn't doing him much good. In fact it was driving him absolutely crazy, bonkers, nutso; whatever you wanna call it. He just really needed something familiar to keep him grounded… something family.

Sam's brow creased in confusion at his words.

"Yes, you can."

Dean instantly deflated at his brother's words, feeling a bit like a kicked puppy who'd just been thrown out the door and told to go find its own food and shelter because it wasn't getting it from there anymore.

He paused shortly and knew Sam could see the hurt on his face so he ducked his head to hide it.

"Well, I don't want to," he muttered to his shoes.

Silence followed his words and he could practically feel Sam struggling to find an alternative.

"What was he hunting?" He finally conceded, seemingly unable to find a way out without leaving his brother high and dry.

And Dean could breathe again.

After a quick briefing on all Dean knew of what was going on, (omitting some things he didn't want to get into; said things including the little brother he had yet to mention) and a little more convincing on Dean's part, he was sitting in the driver's seat of the Impala as Sam tossed his duffle into the back seat and dropped into the passenger's seat.

Dean was in some ways really unsure about this turn of events. Somewhere deep in his heart, he'd expected Sam to tell him to go screw himself and throw him out of his apartment.

He was happy to have him back; of course he was happy to have Sam back.

But he was confused. Someone else had sat in his shotgun seat for a while now and it didn't feel right that he was giving it right back to the person who'd abandoned it in the first place.

Apparently Dean had been staring for too long and Sam was starting to look self conscious.

"What?"

Dean snapped himself out of his untimely ponderings, telling himself to shut up- it was just a car seat- and turned to start the car.

"Nothing, I'm just astounded at just how much taller an already Sasquatch-sized person can get in four years," Dean lied professionally as he backed them out of the ally he'd parked in.

Dean could see Sam rolling his eyes at him out of the corner of his vision.

"Just an inch, Dean."

"Huh. Well, maybe I just forgot how tall you were."

"Dean, wait, don't you find anything weird about this?" Sam asked, grabbing a hold on his brother's jacket before he could walk past the bedroom of their dad's small motel suite.

Dean looked into the room, at first finding nothing amiss but quickly realized what must have caught his brother's attention. The room held two beds. One on each side of the room and Dean had to suppress a groan of relief as it was the first proof he had that both his dad and Adam were alive. Well, at least they were when they'd rented the room and judging by the smell of the hamburger he'd discovered, that could have been a while ago.

"The motel might have been out of single bed rooms, Sam. Don't go making it sound like some sort of conspiracy," Dean said, raising his eyebrows at his brother in a mocking gesture.

Dean had decided that if Sam was just here for the weekend, he didn't need to know about Adam. If he had any desire to be involved with their family (and therefore the inhabitants of it) he could visit once in a while.

"Or he could be traveling with someone." Sam said, rolling his eyes at his brother's quick dismissal, "Both beds are unmade, Dean." Sam observed, taking another step into the room.

"Soooo, maybe dad slept in one bed one night and the other the next? Everyone likes a freshly made bed…" Dean trailed off as Sam turned to look at him with his own raised eyebrows, accompanied by an expression that clearly worried if his brother had sustained a severe brain injury while he'd been at Stanford. Dean just cleared his throat and shrugged.

"The parking lot's practically empty: there's barely anyone staying here. There should be plenty of single bed rooms, Dean." Sam tried to reason.

"Not everyone has a car, Sam. Plus, there could have been more people staying here when dad rented the room." Dean told his brother, trying to lead him out of the room.

"Do you know something that you're not telling me?" Sam asked suspiciously, Dean's insistent writing off of his discovery making him uneasy.

"What? No. I'm just stating all possibilities…" Dean trailed off.

"Dean…?" Sam said like a question, confused at his brother's secrecy.

Dean paused, searching his brother's face for a minute before shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"It's nothing, Sam. Seriously, dude, you don't want to hear about it." He stated firmly in a quiet voice before turning and walking from the room, with an interest-peaked Sam hot on his heals.

"No, actually, I think I really do want to hear about it. Who's dad traveling with?" Sam asked; brows knitted together as he followed Dean past the tiny kitchen and into the front room.

"Okay, how bout I don't want to talk about it." Dean tossed over his shoulder as he made his way towards his duffle, planning on retrieving some clean clothes. He was really getting sick of having to smell the mud covered ones he was wearing from his little romp in the river. The stench was actually beginning to make him doubt whether or not it was really mud at all.

"Why not? What's the matter with them?" Sam continued questioning, thoroughly confused now.

Dean felt his posture become defensive; Sam was really starting to make him feel claustrophobic.

"There's nothing the matter with him." Dean told his brother reluctantly, as he dug through his belongings, in search of the things he'd need for his shower, "I just don't want to talk about the situation or I'm just gonna start worrying more than I already am and believe me, I didn't even think that was possible until now."

"Him?" Sam tread lightly as he sat against a coffee table that was placed not far from his brother.

Dean rolled his eyes at Sam's small victory.

"Congratulations, Sam, you just ruled out the female population, three billion to go, right?"

"It's a start." Sam muttered as he continued to turn over Dean's words in his head.

Finally, Dean had collected his clean clothes and made his way towards the bathroom without a word, a distracted Sam having pushed off from his resting place and followed him, not really looking where he was going.

Dean clenched his teeth and spun suddenly at the door, almost making his wandering brother walk right into him.

"Seriously? You're gonna follow me into the bathroom? Quiz me while I shower?" Dean snapped defensively.

Sam blinked, "What?" and then glanced at his surroundings, "Oh, right. Sorry."

Dean glared and snapped the door shut in Sam's face.

Dean relaxed as soon as the warm water hit his skin. Sighing, Dean leaned his hands against the wall under the shower head and arched his neck, letting the water run down his back.

He didn't understand why Adam felt like such a personal subject when talking to Sam, but he did. Maybe it was because Adam had been there when Sam had abandoned him? But that wasn't even true anymore; Adam had up and left right along with their dad.

Dean's fists curled in frustration and anger at the situation. He really couldn't make sense of it anymore, or ever for that matter; it was confusing as hell and made no sense what-so-ever. He couldn't think up a plausible explanation for why the kid would have just up and left with their dad in the middle of the night without a word or even a goodbye. Of course, Dean wouldn't lie, if his baby brother had even began to try and say goodbye to him, he probably would have found himself locked in the trunk of the impala for safe keeping.

The note their dad had left for him had been brief and only told him enough to make him mad. John knew how much that kid meant to him. He should have known to leave him with Dean, no matter the situation. But he hadn't and now look at the crap he'd gone and buried them both in, forcing Dean to dig if he wanted to find either of them. And hey, if it had been so important to leave, why had he been left behind? After a week's hunting with him, had his dad gotten sick of having him around already?

Dean mentally shook himself of that thought, he really shouldn't care about that part; he'd long since gotten used to their dad taking off without him and without warning. Dean just missed his little brother and damn it he was so worried about what might happen to him without him there to protect him. If dad was on to something- something that involved their mom's murder, and it was beginning to look like that was the case- then Dean was afraid he'd get reckless. Dean was afraid he'd risk things he wouldn't normally risk. Dean was just afraid he would never see his baby brother again.

Unnoticed, salty tears mixed with the shower's spray.

A/N: Yeah, sorry I'm a little late updating. I was having a bit of trouble with the document, but it's all good now. Hope it was an enjoyable chapter :)