An/Written in response to femvamp's "good guys as bad guys" challenge. Hope you like it! I'm pretty pleased with it. Yes, this is my idea of what JJ's secret could be, though I know it probably isn't.

Regular disclaimers apply.

JJ sighed as she ended yet another phone call with Will, groaning as she placed her phone back onto its regular place on her desk. None of this was meant to happen. She wasn't supposed to be a mother, or a girlfriend for that matter. She didn't have a single motherly bone in her body.

Let alone a compassionate bone in her body, but that was a story for another day.

Will was supposed to be a short lived distraction. A distraction that alleviated her coworkers' concerns about her personal life. It wouldn't due to have them meddle in her private matters—because killing a Federal Agent would be messy. Not that she hadn't done it before, but it was best to keep a low profile.

Ha! She smiled at her own joke. Low profile!

"Jayje, it's almost time for the briefing." Emily alerted her, knocking softly on the frame of the wide door, assuming that she had once again become consumed with work.

"I'll be right there." JJ smiled assuringly, rolling her eyes at the absurdity that she could forget a regularly scheduled meeting.

Grabbing the case files in front of her, JJ's eyes fell on a picture of her "perfect little family". When she discovered she had been impregnated, she wondered if she would be able to continue to hide her inability (or maybe it was her unwillingness) to empathise with others.

Luckily for her, all of the dysfunctional family back story was located in her file, giving her the perfect excuse should she ever need to use it. She knew none of her coworkers would dig that deep into her past—they trusted her too much for that. But it at least gave her a launching board for the whole "New Parent Jitters" Angle she had been playing for a while. She knew Hotch had read her file, and though he had never said anything, she knew he tried to keep her out of the field when it got particularly gory or violent.

Sure, she could understand that, but it still frustrated her to no end—barring her from picking up new techniques and 'tricks of the trade.' But Hotch's concern for her was primarily for her 'protection'—because, as he believed, not every child from a small town with a cheating drunk father turns out to be a scarred-for-life serial killer.

In fact, Spence told her once that it was only 1/8 victims of abuse that became violent themselves.

So she was in the minority.

Lucky her.

"Jayje?" Morgan asked, stopping by her office. "Hotch sent me to come get you. The briefing."

"Right." She reminded herself, scolding herself slightly for bringing her after hours life to the workplace. That was the type of habit that got those who were sloppy caught.

And Jennifer Jareau was never sloppy.

He gave her a sidelong smirk, "Good weekend?" He asked knowingly.

She laughed and blushed appropriately. "None of your business." She replied coyly then turned on the innocent 'JJ Act' she had been perfecting for years. "But for your information, yes, it was a very good weekend."

Derek laughed heartily as they made their way to the BAU War Room, not knowing what her definition of a good time really was.

And if JJ ever had her way, he never would.

She stared longingly out the window of the jet as the team traveled to Jackson, Mississippi for a serial rapist. Sometimes, she wondered how she'd been able to keep this up for so long. But in the end, she knew it all boiled down to one reason—control.

And control was something she had mastered.

Control was something that had been ingrained in her at an early age. She still remembered being punished for not making her bed to the correct specifications. Her father's military background and rigid rules for his family had only grown worse after her sister's suicide. Those rules had taught her how to mask any emotions she felt, to hide the fear and pain each time he came home drunk, and to control the pang of sorrow she felt as she grew up without the older sister that had been her protector. As long as she was in control, nothing could hurt her.

Unfortunately, as a child, her control hadn't been perfected.

As a child, it shouldn't have had to be perfect-but apparently her father didn't think so. Because any loss of her stoic mask, any expression of emotion—heaven forbid tears—usually led to being beaten within an inch of her life.

Good thing her father was the Chief of Police, otherwise, someone might have cared-instead they chose to care about which local tramp her father would sleep with next.

"Jayje?" Reid asked softly as he sat down next to her, "Is everything okay?" JJ smiled up at him. In another life, maybe Spence could have worked with her—they could have been partners. He always had a homicidal air about him, but Spence had a good heart despite an upbringing that should have pushed him to join her in her crusade.

Thinking quickly, she decided it was best to play vulnerable, "Yeah." She sighed exaggeratedly, "It's just—I don't know, it's stupid."

Reid continued to stare at her as if he were waiting for her to reluctantly open up to him. She felt a rush of adrenalin as she once again deceived those who thought they were the closest to her.

"What is it?" He asked again.

"Rape cases, those poor women." She stated despite the fact she felt nothing inside. They were just words-words were something she was good at. Words could manipulate, deceive, detract, and delude.

"It's alright." He comforted, patting her gently on the knee. "We all have cases that get under our skin."

"Yeah, I know." She sighed, her voice filled with derision, "But it just never gets easier, you know?"

Reid nodded, feeling a swell of accomplishment that he had comforted his friend. "I'm here if you want to talk." He felt the urge to pat himself on the back at the grateful look she offered him.

"I know." She offered him a small smile to let him feel her appreciation.

Groaning inwardly, she debated whether her performance was too much, or not enough. Each time she walked into the BAU—brightest minds in the world—she felt a rush of excitement at the knowledge that not only had she avoided capture for nearly fifteen years, but that she wasn't even on their radar. Maybe, she reasoned, they hadn't caught on to her mission because it was the right thing to do.

But lately, that rush was losing its intensity. Maybe it was time, time to give the team her case and see if they could solve it.

She would have to think about it more, because the entire point would be that she give them the case only for it to go unsolved.

After all, she hadn't been doing this for years just to get caught.