Author's Note: Your reviews and messages in my tumblr ask box are INCREDIBLE. Thank you all so much for reading and keeping interest even when I take so long to update. This is (once again) short, but it took me HOURS to write. This stupid writer's block is fighting me on every single chapter, unfortunately. And to those who asked last chapter, the end is not coming quite yet. I promise I will let you know when the last chapter is written. :]

For the record, I'm not very pleased with this chapter. It's... eh. I said that last time, though, and you all liked it, so maybe I'm wrong.

In any case, PLEASE review, and I hope you enjoy this, lovelies.

Eli could not sleep. His bed was no friend to him now, for it allowed one too many dark and dizzy dreams. The walls seemed to heighten in his night blindness until he could not tell if ceiling or sky hung above him. Perhaps he would prefer it to be the sky, velvet black and dotted with pinholes of shimmering white. The frost of the wee hours settling into his skin as he hungrily drank in another mouth's warmth, tugged at a hoodie's zipper, slipped in closer to Fitz...

He shook his head violently for what seemed like the millionth time that night and the park disappeared. Always that same face plagued his thoughts: those freckles and that strong jaw. It was a wonderful jolt to Eli when he closed his eyes and relived the surprisingly gentle kisses that he had enjoyed several times now. Fitz's touch was careful and considerate, but never self-conscious. He was sure of his actions, but knew that Eli could shove him away at any moment. That fear was in the tension of his jaw, the slow deftness of his hands, the pleading in his slate eyes for just a moment of bliss. It could only ever be a moment. Eli ran a hand through his already unkempt hair and sighed deeply, knowing it was all too true. Their relationship – whatever it may be – ran at a different frequency than the rest of their very separate lives. He could not imagine that Fitz would ever tell Owen or Bianca about the park, the alley behind The Dot, the park again, the football field at midnight. In the same way, he knew that Adam could not be told because of Clare.

God, Clare. The thought of her made Eli lay back onto his pillow, flustered and guilt-ridden. He would give the world for her – his beautiful, angelic, honey-sweet Clare. She was what he had always wanted but could never find, not even with Julia. With Clare he felt complete. He felt secure. She brought him such a schoolboy happiness that he had never known before, and strangely enough he liked how that giddiness felt. More than liked – he craved it. There was something about her that was a complete necessity for him, and if he did not have it, he feared he would burst into shards of useless matter. And Clare – strong as she was – seemed to glow a little brighter, speak up a little more loudly with Eli at her side. At first their codependency had pleased him very much, but now it only left him disheartened. The idea of hurting her was almost more than he could bear. Causing Clare pain was unthinkable, but the possibility of doing so was very, very real. This angered Eli and as much as he wished his rage could be heaped upon Fitz, he knew it could only be turned inward. He had allowed this infidelity to occur.

Eli pummeled his pillow, attempting to make it more comfortable for his befuddled head. He longed for even the lightest slumber to remove him from active thought for a few hours, throw out his consciousness for a little bit of peace.

Shut up, SHUT UP.

He tore at his hair and thrashed his legs against the mattress in desperation. The contrasting memories, faces, and voices in his mind had to cease. He'd had enough for one night – another night of restless inner turmoil. Eli fought hard to shove it all out now and find a quiet space to drift away. Slowly, slowly, the voices lowered to a rumble soft enough to allow sleep, and Eli gratefully sank into the limbo between nothingness and solidity. His dream consisted of trying to tie two ropes together, only to have the knot unravel the moment he let go. It frustrated his dream-state self to no end.

.

-x-x-x-x-x-

.

Degrassi was abuzz with talk of the Night in Vegas formal coming up. Apparently there would be actual gambling, roulette tables and all. Girls were flitting around in packs discussing scandalous dresses and Bhandari was talking about renting an Elvis costume. Fitz really could not care less about the whole event. He was happy to spend his lunches with Owen and the other guys talking about whatever idiotic movie they had just seen. Even Bianca's droning complaints about remedial gym were a welcome escape from all the formal chatter.

Night after night, Fitz wondered about Eli and Clare. Was he ever going to tell her? More importantly, was he ever going to leave her? At school, the answer seemed painfully obvious: no. Eli was always holding her hand, walking her to class, throwing an arm around her in the hall, going out for coffee with her after school. He barely spared Fitz a passing glance when Clare was around – or anyone else, for that matter. Fitz knew he could not expect anything more than that. It was naïve, unrealistic, absurd to believe that Eli would raise suspicions by showing even a hint of non-hostile behavior toward him. They were forced to continue their nemesis charade, but Fitz did not know how long he could play their game before he broke down completely.

As unexpected and – for lack of a better word – inconvenient this onslaught of feelings for the boy he bullied were, the fact of the matter remained that Fitz was dangerously infatuated with Eli. He consumed his thoughts, his very soul. He changed his routes to and from classes so that he would pass Eli more because although it was utter torment to watch him flirt with Clare, it was worse to not see him at all.

"Can I help you?" The voice that interrupted Fitz's thoughts was less than amused, and he realized that, lost in his thoughts, he had thrown his unintentional gaze upon a random classmate.

"What's your problem?" The voice came again.

He refocused his eyes and was met with the annoyance of Holly J Sinclair. Of all the people in math, it had to be her. He sneered half-heartedly.

"Sorry, didn't think that my looking at you would get you so excited."

Bianca chuckled snarkily behind him. As expected, Holly J was unruffled.

"Next time you want to stare like a prehistoric mongrel, try not to drool so much."

"You wish, Ginger Snap. You're not exactly my type."

The red-head rolled her eyes and turned back to Fiona, who was – as always – texting without any awareness of what was happening in the world around her.

"When are the over-privileged going to figure out that they're just cows and no one is interested?" Bianca scooted her desk closer to Fitz's. "Hey, some losers invited me to the Ravine after school. Want to come?"

"We don't go to the Ravine, Bee."

"I know, because it's lame. But it could be fun to watch all those idiot hicks do... whatever the hell is is they do. You in?"

Fitz had glanced toward the door as Bianca talked, just in time to see Eli stroll by unaccompanied. He was most likely headed back to his class after being excused to the washroom. It was the first Fitz had seen him at school without Clare in quite a while. The mere idea of it threw Fitz's thoughts completely off kilter.

"Uh," he finally muttered to Bee. "No, I've got...uh...stuff to do after school."

"You're leaving me with Owen, again? Whatever, man." She huffed out her cheeks and leaned back in her chair to make it clear that she was done with him. Fitz smirked to himself. She'd be right back by his side the next day. Bee was good at making drama for herself, but she knew who her friends were.

.

-x-x-x-x-x-

.

A note was crushed in Eli's left hand.

Behind the school. 4.30.

He hadn't seen the handwriting much, but there was no doubt about who it was from. Sure enough, when he rounded the corner he found that familiar figure waiting for him. There was thunder in Eli's heart and pitter-pattering rain in his stomach. Before he even touched Fitz, he felt electric. Currents seemed to run under his skin, chasing each other, sparking, glowing. He could have sworn he was giving off light the way his nerves were trembling.

Fitz's face broke into an easy smile at the sight of him. He reached for Eli and the boy eagerly obliged, forgetting his conflicted interests for a moment to indulge in Fitz's woodsy scent and the salt of his lips. The kiss was therapy as usual after a day of playing pretend.

"A locker note?" Eli chided as he broke away. "What are we, in grade seven?"

"I was all out of carrier pigeons." Fitz reclaimed Eli's snarky mouth, folding the smaller boy into his arms. He slipped his autumn-chilled hands into the boy's military jacket to press their bodies closer. Eli let the smallest whisper of a sigh hum in his throat. He adored being held this way, kissed this way, feeling Fitz's heart beat next to his own. Cautiously, he snaked a hand up to cradle the back of the boy's head, his palm fitting the curve at the nape of his neck. Fitz smiled at this gesture and caught Eli in a tender trap between his body and the school wall.

"Fitz..." Eli stuttered between delving kisses. "Fitz, wait..."

The taller boy pulled back, leaving his hands pressed against the wall on either side of Eli and tilting his head in interest.

"I've been thinking a lot about this... and Clare... it just isn't fair to her..."

"Then get rid of her."

Eli's eyes flashed as they met Fitz's. "You know I can't do that."

Fitz pushed away from the wall and paced a bit, frustrated. "Well, why not, Eli?"

"She's my girlf-"

"Damn it, I know she's your girlfriend. You've made that clear a thousand times. But you always come meet me, don't you? You're here."

Eli kicked his heel up against the wall and huffed out a heavy breath. "Yes, I'm here. I still like Clare."

"But you like me, too," Fitz stopped his short strides in front of him. He looked over Eli and the boy's brooding tugged at his heart strings. He softened his tone as he reached out to push dark bangs out of Eli's gem-like eyes. "You do like me, don't you?"

Fitz's vulnerability melted the confused anger that had been building up in Eli's throat. He realized then that as much as he did not want to hurt Clare, he disliked the thought of Fitz's feelings being a causality either.

"I... " He had never said it, not even to himself, but the truth was too blatant to ignore. "I...do. I like you. But we're not Riley and Zane here. I mean... we're... we can't... God damn it, Fitz! What do you want me to do?"

The boys stared at each other for a moment, taking flustered breaths, exchanging galaxies in their irises. This was it. This was all they had – little moments that added up to... what? A relationship? An affair? It was barely even that. The best they could do was paste minutes onto minutes and hope that the time patched hastily together would be enough. It was already beginning to wear at each of their hearts. They were splintered from the start of it all. The question had been posed, but they both knew that there was nothing to be done. Even so, a shine of determination brightened Fitz's eye, and Eli could not help but feel it, too.

Eli and Fitz suddenly crushed together, overcome by the weighty secret that they struggled under. Fitz could not get enough of Eli's soft skin on his lips, and Eli clutched at Fitz's silky bristled hair as the older boy kissed down his neck. He felt like shouting, or perhaps like crying. Something was bottled up inside of him and Eli wanted so badly for it to go away. He wanted to stay here in this world, in this time, and let Fitz kiss him until everything else was just meaningless brushstrokes on a dull canvas – a blur of verb and emptiness. All that he was consisted of Fitz's breath, impassioned touch, and heartbeats like footfalls on concrete.

"Did you hear that?" Fitz breathed urgently in his ear.

They listened, suddenly paralyzed in each other's arms. The heartbeats were footfalls. Someone was on the other side of the corner, headed their way.

"Eli?"Clare, not yet in view, called his name.

Her voice was an icicle through his ribcage. Eli's vision seemed suddenly murky, brown, unpleasantly shaky. He locked eyes with Fitz, feeling dizzy and sick.

His gasp broke the panicked silence.

.

.

Satisfactory? REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Feedback fuels my next chapter. Follow on Tumblr (link on my profile). Thank you all for being such loyal and wonderful readers. I'm flattered that you have taken such an interest and that so many people have Be My Bruise on their story alert. Stay tuned!