Band competitions have been held on Saturdays, which are my main writing days. This update was long over due.

Characters belong to SM

I avoided Edward for a couple of weeks while the baby incident blew over. He attempted, on many occasions, to speak with me, but humiliation overrode my will to hear him out.

The night Carlisle and Edward walked through the door was an unforgettable one. Edward's expression seemed to match mine. We stood confused as Carlisle paced in the small blue kitchen brightened by the yellow cupboards. Finally the words he appeared to be looking for came to him. The words that made me responded with so many emotions that I felt my knees go numb. I gripped the table for support as he told how someone had used my name just a few nights ago. Apparently, none of the nurses remember what identity thief had looked like.

When I booked it out of the tiny kitchen with the yellow cupboards, Edward's silent mood hung above my head like a sword, and I remember the words he had spoken hardly audible when he tried to soothe away my worries. I'll be there for you, Bella. Protection might not be my specialty, but I'll save you until you tell me to go

I felt sick that night. Had he hoped that I was pregnant? I wanted to know the answer so badly that I almost gathered the courage to march over to his house and ask. Almost.

My rational protective side for Edward screamed at the thought. Edward would never wish something like that upon me. I had never taken into consideration that all Edward ever told me he wanted was to be by me.

The words he spoke when he was young and as we grew together were just words in my mind, never promises. Maybe he wanted me to need someone by me, something that would cause me to need his presence.

I sobbed that night in realization, but I still ignored him, embarrassed by my conclusions.

College loomed ahead, and Charlie and I had just finished filling out the last forms for my induction into Seattle University.

Carlisle had informed me just a few days ago that Edward wasn't sure where he wanted to go, so he was going to take a semester off. Edward had received quite a large scholarship for his music ability, not that he needed it in the least, to Seattle University.

Even though Edward and my friendship seemed to be on hold, the detail of him not following me to college sting. We had always planned to go together and room in the same dorm building so he wouldn't have to walk far to get to me.

On the last day of summer before I left for college, I hiked out to the meadow to try to remember all the wonderful times Edward and I had had. But as I climbed my way through the vegetation only the last visit adulterated my mind.

It was before my…date, if one calls it that, and I had stolen Edward away. My father and I had gotten into a fight about him, and I just needed to get away from society's horrid impact.

As I told him I had a date set up, I saw a crease line his forehead and shadows darken his face. "What about us?" He had whispered. I disregarded the question easily, thinking nothing of it. But, I finally understood, and it only took a date rape and several fights to realize it.

Edward loved me. Or, at least he did before I selfishly ignored him for my own reasons even after he saved my skin.

In deep regret of coming to the meadow, I sat down in the swaying grass and let the sun soak into my skin.

I wasn't quiet sure how long I sat there. Sunshine had dimmed itself, and night approached.

"Goodbye," I whispered to the ocean waves of green. "I'll be back sometime."

When I turned away from my memories and simple childhood, I found a man, the man standing at the edge of the meadow. But then, he ran. For a blind boy, he sure could run. I saw he stumble only once before he picked up his pace and made it out long before I ever would.

And so, I whispered another goodbye in the direction he had run, and continued my trek out.

The next morning, I packed up my dorm equipment and clothes in my truck. Charlie insisted in buying me a new comforter so my old one could stay home for when I came back on occasional weekends. Although he was a quiet man, Charlie was horrible with goodbyes and ended up crying softly against my hair when we embraced for the last tome before I left. His tears caused mine, and so we cried together.

"Come back home and visit me, kiddo," he called out when I hopped into my old truck.

"I will! I love you, Dad!" He smiled brilliant, and I drove off out of Forks.

I decided to stop at a rest stop on the highway to use the restroom and grab a cup of coffee. When I get back into my truck, I noticed a note sitting on the passenger seat.

Dearest Bella,

I'm sorry about the other day in the meadow. Just the thought of having to say goodbye was not a pleasant one, so I left you this note. I hope that one day we will meet up again. Words can't be put into sentences to tell you how much I wish things were different.

The handwriting was Esme's, but at the bottom of the letter in perfect script was a name, the name, that I had been avoiding for so long. Edward.

So, I sat in my truck and sobbed at that rest stop until an officer came up to my window to ask if I was alright.

Alice and I were rooming together in college. She was bubbly and bouncy as she whirled around the room decorating it to her liking which I had issue with. No issue with her except for the fact that she was my constant reminder of him.

"Cheer up, Bella," Alice giggled when she hung up her overly large clock in the small living room. "You're washing out the color in my new rug."

The rug she was referring to was obnoxiously bright pink. I still couldn't past the reminder of him to tell Alice just how much I hated pink.

I went to my room and started to unpack. A few sweaters, some t-shirts, a couple pairs of pajamas, and a nice dress shirt hung in my wardrobe. A brushed the wrinkles out of my new comforter which was purple. Purple was like my comforter at home, and he always sat on my comforter.

I threw down my pillow angrily. Everything in my life led back to him, but now I had a new beginning, a new start.

"Where are you going?" Alice asked, eyeing my curiously when I headed towards the door.

"I'm going to take a drive and look around town."

"Ooo!" she squealed," "can I tag along?"

She pouted, and I had the hardest time denying that face. Jasper, thank goodness, save me the trouble. As soon as I opened the door, he smacked me in the face.

"Bella!" I stumbled back, and he went grab me. "I didn't mean to hit you. I was only going to knock on the door, I swear!"

I moved away from his hold, panic silently probing my mind,

He looked humiliated and concerned all at the same time. When I released me, I felt at ease. So, I just laughed, and Alice made her way over.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Her tiny fingers swept over my forehead, and I flinched away. "Tender?"

I nodded but left the dorm building anyway. The fresh crisp air hit me like a second punch, and my nerves came alive.

There was a small pizza place a couple blocks down from the dorm building, so I added their number into my contacts knowing that Alice and I would soon discover the college diet which consisted of pizza and Pepsi.

When I headed back to the dorm I was pleasantly surprised that Alice had sent Jasper home so the two of us could watch a romance together. I loved movie night with Alice…but romance movies were not at the top of my list at the moment. I sat through the movie with her anyway.

"What a hypocrite," Alice commented on one of the characters' behavior.

Hypocrite. I scoffed at the word which I would never use again. The word described not only the actor but me as well. I had sent Edward away, distanced myself from him yet I longed for his presence and clung to his simple note.

"Bella? Hello, earth to Bella!" Alice waved her hand in front of my face, and I snapped out of the daze I hadn't realized I'd entered.

"What?" I asked back.

"The movie ended like five minutes ago. Are you alright?"

I nodded and hurried off to my room.

My classes were interesting. I didn't have to wake up extremely early for any of my classes. I did happen to have one evening class which Jasper promised to walk me home from. I made sure all my seats were next to other girl students.

Victoria was in my Calculus class, and she was in the dorm building across from my own. I told her of my condition after we lounged around the dorms together a few times.

Four months past and the reminders were fading except for the presence of Alice and Jasper. I had gone out and bought new clothes from the college bookstore. I tried dating once. His name was James, but after the first date when he tried to hug me, I rushed to break it off.

I set him up with Victoria, and they ended up hitting it off. But every time that I was with her when he picked her up, James always eyed me.

The new semester was coming up as well as exams. I was excited for the break. Charlie was coming up to visit Alice and me for Thanksgiving. But, then I thought about Edward. Would he come to Seattle for college like he had planned or would he stay away? I couldn't honestly answer which one I would prefer.

Exams flew by quickly.

"Ugh, I'm pretty sure I just bombed that calculus exam," Victoria groaned as we made our way back to the dorms.

"Did you study at all last night?" I asked eyeing her curiously.

"Oh, I studied," she defended herself, "just not calculus."

I shivered. "T.m.i!" I almost yelled. She giggled at my response.

"James didn't have any exams today," she said obviously proud of herself. "Speaking of James, he said his new neighbor is really nice. Apparently he moved in a few days earlier to explore campus."

"So?"

"So, James was wondering if you would join us on a double date tonight with the new guy!"

I shook my head rapidly. "Sorry, Vicky, I just can't. Remember what happened last time."

She sighed recalling my breakdown. "Please just give him a chance. The guy seems really shy."

"I'll think about it. What's his name?" I asked.

"Not sure. James didn't mention last night." She winked at me.

"Tonight?" I asked. "Shouldn't you let the poor guy settle in first?"

Vicky shook her head. "Nah, I'm sure he'd rather go on a date with a lovely looking college lady."

"Whatever. You guys can come by my place around six, I guess."

Victoria cheered before making her way to her own dorm building. I had a horrid feeling about the looming date which I had no interest of going on. Vicky was always persistent, and Alice and I had learned to just go along with her.

When I entered my room, Alice wasn't present.

How odd…

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