He hadn't given her a lot of choices, and he knew that. He knew that and that was why he was trying not to be angry at her.
She couldn't have gone home. That was ruined for her because of him, because she'd loved him. She'd said it had changed her, what they'd done in Miami and when he thought about it he knew it had. She didn't see the world like she had. She couldn't return to the careers she'd had. What was she going to do?
His mother had Nate and an expectant grandchild in Vegas. She had Sam and the house and the Charger. That would be it from then on out. Sam and side jobs, phone calls and visits from his mother.
He'd left her and she'd found away to keep him.
How was he supposed to blame her for not wanting to be alone?
…...
"You could have gotten a boyfriend." He said irritated. The third day he'd been home from 'wherever', he had decided they should talk about it. "Gotten married. Had a baby that way." They'd been sitting in the Charger, as much to escape from Maddy's watchful glare as anything else.
"You don't marry someone when you love someone else." She said flatly, staring out the windshield as his gaze remained fixed on the infant seat in the back.
"I can't just come back Fi it's not that easy."
"You're right you can't just come back. I don't want you to come back." She pressed her lips together and swallowed. His head whipped around to look at her, she slowly moved her neck like it was attached to a long metal pole. "You really think I want you to come back just because of this?" She opened her hands around her abdomen like parenthesizes, her head bobing down for emphasis. "So what? You can leave her in four years when you get tired of her?"
"Her?" Michael softly broke the silence.
"Or him. I didn't find out."
"You have been seeing a doctor right?" He whispered, his chest moving in big long ups and downs while he spoke.
"Of course." She hissed. "Do you really think Sam and your mom wouldn't have made me if I wasn't?" She traced her thumb over her maternity tank top. "I just didn't find out."
"I still can't.." He sighed. "I can't believe you did this."
"There have been times Michael.." She told him, her eyes returning to the hollow, straight ahead stare. "I have had a hard time believing it my self."
"Did you stop for one second to think about how I would feel?" He asked, the bitterness seeping past his attempt to keep it hidden.
"No." Her melodious tone enchanted him for a second before her eyes once again snapped to his. "Did you?"
Touché. He thought quickly as she blinked at him.
"Of course I did." It sped harshly from his mouth before he could stop it.
"Good for you then. You at least thought it through before implodinged my life." She enunciated each word sharply with her fiery eyes before looking away and singing. "I guess that makes you better than me. Congratulations."
He wanted to grab her, shake her, kiss her, hold her and kill her all in the same instant. Instead he practiced breathing techniques until his heart caught back up with his head. Fiona tried to look bored as he sat in silence.
"I didn't get tired of you Fi." He reminded her softly. She sniffed and got out of the car. Crying in front of him that first night had been enough.
…...
"Michael?" Her soft voice woke him immediately. He looked groggily up at where she stood at the end of the couch in a blue sundress, her purse tossed over her shoulder.
"Yeah Fi?" Her muttered.
"I need you to drive me to the Homestead Clinic." She said calmly. His eyes shot open and he held perfectly still.
"Is everything okay?"
"Fine." She told him, ignoring his terror. "I have a doctor's appointment and Sam took your mom to do a job."
"Sam took my mom.. to do a job?"
"Who do you think we have working with us now Michael?" Her head cocked to the left. "There aren't exactly a plethora of burned spies lying around Miami to choose from." She said 'burned spies' like she'd said leprechauns before she shook her head and smacked his legs off the couch. "Come on! You're making me late."
…...
"I'm just saying if Sam needed help with a job I was right there."
"They already identify with Madelyn's cover ID. They trust her more than Sam." She said absently, smoothing her hands out over the paper blanket covering her lap. "She's really quite good."
"Jesus." He moaned, covering his face with his hands.
"Don't be such a baby." She sighed as the door swung open and Laura walked in.
"Michael!" She shouted as his hands dropped away. "How are you? Home for the event I see?"
"Something like that." He said softly, looking at Fiona.
"How you doing, Fi?" The little brunette asked, looking over her chart with halfhearted attention that made Michael a little nervous.
"Fine."
"Contractions?" The woman's eyebrow arched at Fiona.
"Some." Fi shrugged, Michael's eyes shot to her.
"Strong?" Michael's former client made a note.
"Mah." Fiona shrugged again. "Pretty strong I guess."
"Regular?" Laura made another note.
"Last night they were more regular than usual."
Michael tried to think about what he'd been doing last night. He couldn't come up with anything spectacular. He certainly hadn't noticed Fiona having strong, regular contractions.
"Good." Michael gaped at the doctor for a second.
"Good?"
"She's past her due date. I'd be worried if something wasn't starting by now."
"Define starting." Michael quipped.
"Next two days are so?" Laura shrugged. Fiona looked at Michael like he was scrambling eggs or juggling or something. He made the same face back at her. "He's going to be a nervous one?" She looked at Fi. "I didn't have him pegged for one of those guys that freaks out."
Fiona smiled at him wickedly.
"I'm not going to freak out." Michael protested.
"He knows you're doing this at home right?" Laura was smiling now almost as wickedly as Fiona.
"H-oo-me?" He sputtered. "Wait what?"
"How would I check into a hospital Michael? Under an alis?"
"Why not here?" He shook his head.
"It's an hour away! Without traffic!" Fi almost shouted. "I don't want to have him in the Charger!"
He bit back his response. He also wasn't fond of the idea of her having the baby in the Charger.
"Don't worry. David and I intend to make it there before the newest little Westen does." Laura smiled before looking back at Fiona. "Blood pressure?"
"Mine or his?" She teased, both women chuckled. Michael felt sick. "Fine. Sam took it this morning and it was low."
"Perfect. It was good here too." Laura hummed, writing that down. "Lie back and let me look."
Michael winced and looked away as the woman snapped on a rubber glove and poked her hand beneath the paper sheet.
"Wow. You've been working since last week. You're like a solid three." She pulled back. Michael watched her and Fiona exchange impressed expressions. He chewed on his lip and tried not to think about what that meant. He zoned out until a peculiar whoosh filled the air and he looked up to see what was happening.
"Is that what I think it is?" He exhaled looking from Fiona to Laura then back to Fiona. She gave him the first real smile since he'd come through the door four days before.
"That is a very regular and strong heart beat." Laura smiled in satisfaction as Michael cocked his head and listened intently. He barely registered Fi's fingers reaching out to his until he'd grabbed on with almost frightened force. "I don't think you're going to make it to next weeks appointment." Laura told Fiona.
"Thank God." Fiona sighed, seemingly ignoring Michael all together. Only he knew how her thumb had been methodically stroking up and down the back of his hand to keep him from loosing it.
…...
"What's the problem with your blood pressure?" He asked softly after a few minutes of silence in the Charger.
"Nothing. It was high for a while, but now it's not." She dismissed him. "I'm fine."
"And contractions? You didn't tell me you were having contractions."
"I'm sorry? What? Did you want to come hold my hand or something?" She sneered shaking her head.
"Maybe." He said softly. She swallowed hard before turning back to look at him.
"I'm fine Michael." She told him. "I got into this on my own and I don't expect anything from you."
"I told you I want to be there for you Fi." She both loved and hated the tone of voice he was using. That breathless painfully emotional voice. It was raw. It was the true Michael. Her true Michael at least, but sadness always seemed to loom large when he used it. He stopped the car and turned to look at her. "Will you let me be?"
She parted her lips to answer before she actually new the answer. He waited.
"I don't know if I can." She told him honestly. He kept starring for a minute, studying her face as if the answers were there. They weren't. He nodded and looked away. "I don't think I can."
She watched him silently before looking out the window herself.
"I wish I could." She told the cars passing by them, reaching her hand back to his knee and laying it there until he picked it up with his own.
He did realize he'd left her with nothing, and that she was going to give him nothing in return.