The door chime announced the presence of a visitor. Jake activated the picture-in-picture option on the TV, relaying the image from the door camera. Emily was standing in the entrance airlock in front of his building. She nervously brushed a strand of hair out of her face. Jake's heart was racing. Doubt flooded through him and he tried to calm himself. He gave the voice command to open the door. As she pushed through it, the feed from the camera went blank. He sighed and switched off the TV.
He wheeled to the front door of his apartment and opened it. Then he moved back a few meters into the middle of the lounge facing the open door. He heard the elevator doors open and the almost imperceptible footsteps on the carpet in the corridor leading to his door. His heart was about to jump out of his chest.
Emily walked into the open door frame and stopped. He had steeled himself for the expression on her face when she saw him. Still, it jolted him, this combination of bewilderment and sadness that radiated from her.
"Hi Jake" her voice was hoarse.
"Hi Emily—come in."
She took a tentative step forward and turned around. For the fraction of a second he thought she was going to walk out again, but she simply closed the door. He saw her taking a deep breath as she turned back towards him.
"Please help me out Jake. I don't know what to do."
"Come here." Gentle.
She walked towards him slowly, letting her canvas bag slide off her shoulder and drop onto the floor.
Jake turned the chair sideways and extended his hand towards her. She took it, uncertain.
He pulled her along towards the sofa. "Sit down."
She sat down in the corner of the sofa, slipped off her shoes and pulled her legs up under her.
Jake regarded her quietly. "You look nice with your hair short like this. You never had it this short when …" He didn't finish the sentence. "How was the flight? Can I get you something to drink?"
"The flight was okay and yes, do you have diet coke?"
Jake rolled behind the kitchen counter and opened the fridge. He took out two diet cokes and pushed back towards Emily. Opening both cans simultaneously he handed one to her. She took it, took one sip and then put it on the tray table next to her. Her eyes didn't leave him for one second. He rolled backwards along the sofa, stopped, locked the breaks and with one practiced, fluid motion pushed himself across onto the sofa. He grabbed the fabric of his pants below the knees and pulled his legs up onto the sofa too, mirroring her posture. She kept watching him and he watched her, noticing her eyes starting to glisten.
They were sitting facing each other, Emily at one end of the sofa and Jake not quite at the other. He held out one hand palm up towards her like reaching out across a chasm. She extended her arm and her fingertips touched Jake's. He turned his hand over and their fingers intertwined. He pulled gently. When he didn't feel any resistance from her he pulled her into his arms. She came to rest with her face against his chest, tears streaming down her face. He held her while she cried, releasing the pent up tension.
When she had calmed down she smiled up at him. "Thank you for helping me through this awkward situation."
"I have already done my crying—and eight months ago I wasn't able to do this. That's why I couldn't see you. I'm sorry."
"I understand" She was quiet for a moment. "Now will you tell me what happened?"
Jake gave her an abbreviated account of the events in Venezuela and the four and a half months he'd spent in hospital and rehab, but he didn't elaborate on the exact nature of his injury. Predictably, it was her next question.
"I fractured two vertebrae in the lumbar spine. That's about navel height. The spinal cord was severely damaged in that area and as a result my legs are completely paralyzed."
"Any chance of repairing the damage?"
"No, unfortunately not." He didn't feel like getting into the intricacies of veteran politics and medical insurance.
She didn't question it.
"Let me move back a little."
Emily took her weight off him and Jake moved back into the corner of the L shaped lounger, straightening out his legs in front of him. Emily moved up as well. She placed a hand on his knee and let it slide down the length of his lower leg.
"So you can't feel this at all?"
Jake shook his head. Her hand rested at his ankle. "Can I see?
Jake pulled at his pants to make his leg bend at the knee and rested it against Emily. She pushed the fabric up to the knee. "This is sad. You always made such a big effort to work out your legs."
"It's no longer important to me, Emily. It's still important to be healthy and fit and independent, but in some regards I'm not the same person I used to be. I have learned that there are more important things than whether my legs are toned or whether I can walk or not."
"Like?"
"Forgiveness, acceptance, friendship…"
She pulled the fabric down again and straightened his leg out. Then she rested her head against his chest again. "Have you forgiven me?"
"Yes, I have."
He played with her short, auburn hair.
"I have also changed. I have really taken a hard look at myself and our relationship and I have realized how many mistakes I made. I hurt you, Jake. I understand that now and for that I'm really sorry." She paused, but Jake didn't say anything, so Emily continued. "Do you think we could give our relationship another try, now that you and I are different people?"
"Would you want to?" Jake was genuinely surprised.
"Yes."
He pulled her chin up and she slid higher until their lips touched. To Jake the kiss was electrifying. It gave him a glimpse of a possible future he hadn't dared to dream of for a year. Their lips separated.
"Jake?"
"Yes?"
"Do you still love me?"
"Yes, I do" He just held her for a while gently stroking her face and her hair.
"Emily?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you think you could be with a man that will never walk next to you or dance with you or play racket ball with you again?"
"Yes, I can do that."
"Good—but I'll ask you again at the end of the weekend. Just in case you change your mind—and I won't hold it against you, because it won't be as easy as you may think it is."
She smiled at him. "Fair enough."
"Shall we go and get something to eat?" It was approaching half past twelve.
"Sure, what did you have in mind?"
"There is a tapas place at The Pavilions I think you would like."
"Sounds good. Can I just use your bathroom please?"
"Sure, through there." He pointed at the bedroom door.
She climbed over him off the sofa, took a small cosmetics kit out of her bag and slipped through the door.
Jake stayed on the sofa and waited for her to return. He wanted to make a point for her to see exactly what being with him would be like. He wasn't certain yet if rekindling their relationship was such a good idea, but he was willing to explore the possibility over the course of the weekend.
She returned, eye makeup restored to its customary perfection. She stood near the front door, looking at Jake, waiting. "Ready when you are."
Jake pushed himself forward till he was parallel to his wheelchair and moved back across. He pulled his feet up on the foot rest and pushed his knees together. He rolled up to the dining table and picked up his old, well-worn leather biker jacket, phone and car keys. Then he pushed past Emily and opened the door. "After you."
She walked out into the hallway, Jake matching her pace to the elevator. They descended into the parking garage where the doors parted and Jake rolled out leading the way.
"How are you getting into your truck, as high as it is?" Emily asked curiously.
"Ah. Thanks to a little piece of technology courtesy of JJ. Look." They had reached the driver side of his truck. He opened the door and pushed the descend button. His seat slid out and down and he transferred into it. Then he placed the wheelchair in its holder and the seat rose back into position. Jake grinned "Isn't this cool?"
"I must say, that's something."
"Come on, get in."
She walked to the other side and climbed into the cab.
Jake pressed the starter and the silent hydrogen-electric engine came alive. They chatted amicably during the drive. Twenty minutes later they pulled into a disabled parking spot at The Pavilions. "One advantage." Jake quipped. "Front row parking."
They got out and Jake led the way to the restaurant. They had lunch and afterward spent some time browsing through the stores. On a whim they decided to catch an afternoon movie. Jake got popcorn and they happily munched their way through the romantic comedy they had chosen. Afterward they had giggled like teenagers about the stupid pick-up lines the male lead had used to woo his girl. Emily had commented that she would have never succumbed to Jake's charm if he had used anything remotely as stupid as these.
They drove west out of Denver into the mountains and found an out-of-the-way spot with a decent view where they parked the truck and talked for a long time. Jake explained how difficult it had been and still was for him to come to terms with his injury, that he felt that he had let his squad down and how difficult he found it to relate to people now, where before he had been outgoing and open. Together with his squad mates he had always been up to some mischief or other. Pretty much everyone at Pendleton had heard of Jake Sully. Emily came clean about her ploys and apologized again. She told Jake about the counseling she had sought and how it had changed her perspective. She explained that she had found out shortly after their brief conversation in December that Jake was paralyzed and Jake inquired why she had asked him what had happened if she knew already. She explained that she needed to know if he could be honest with her to see if there was a base on which to rebuild their relationship. When they had poured their hearts out to each other, Emily looked at Jake and smiled. He held out his hand. She took it and he pulled her closer. When she had climbed over the middle console and sat on Jake's lap he hugged her tightly to himself his head over her shoulder and cried.
Emily put the takeaway they had picked up on the way back onto the dining table and went to the bathroom. When she opened the bathroom door again Jake was behind it. "I also need the bathroom and I want you to see what I do. You need to know what you are dealing with if you are serious about being with me."
"Sure." No sign of uneasiness in her voice.
Jake rolled into the bathroom and took a catheter in a sterile blister pack out of a drawer. "I don't have bladder control, so I need to do this every couple of hours.
Emily watched the procedure as Jake catheterized himself. "Is it uncomfortable?"
"No, I have no feeling in this part of my body."
"So that means you can't have sex then." It was a statement rather than a question and her voice was curiously neutral.
Jake looked up at her and grinned. "Not all is lost."
"Huh?"
"I can have sex. I may not be quite as good as I used to be …" He trailed off. "But there are other parts of my anatomy that work perfectly." He wiggled his fingers at her.
"Sounds promising"
"We'll see. Come let's eat."
Jake sanitized his hands and wheeled out of the bathroom.
"I brought a bottle of wine from San Diego. Do you have a bottle opener?"
"Yes, the one you bought. Top drawer in the kitchen. No wine glasses though."
"Any glasses will do." She walked into the kitchen, collecting the bottle opener and two glasses from a stack on the kitchen counter. Curiously she opened one of the top cupboards. Dust had settled on the empty shelves.
"Can't reach." Jake said from somewhere behind her. "Are you checking on me like the inspector from the VA when I applied for a study grant?"
She closed the cupboard again and turned around. "You are studying?"
Jake pointed to a pile of paper files stashed on the floor in a corner of the lounge. "Yes, robotics engineering, specializing in weapons design—can't spend all day at the gym, gotta do something with my spare time."
"I'm impressed."
She picked her bag off the floor where she'd left it and got out a bottle of Chardonnay flavored wine. She walked back into the bedroom. Jake got the food off the dining room table and a bottle of water and followed her.
"I thought we'd make ourselves comfortable." She climbed onto Jake's queen-size bed and settled on the far side where she put the glasses on the nightstand and proceeded to open the bottle.
Jake stopped in the doorway. "I must say you are definitely a lot more relaxed than I expected you to be. That's good."
"That's because I'm happy, but to be honest, I really didn't know what to expect before I got here."
Jake rolled up next to the bed and put the food on it. Then he moved over and pulled up his legs. Emily took the food and put it on the night stand. She poured the wine into the glasses next to it. Then she set the bottle down and regarded Jake. This time she held out her hand and when he took it she pulled him towards her.
He rolled onto his side, playfully half-collapsing on top of her. She laughed and pushed him up, her hands against his chest. "Hey, soldier. I think I can get used to this."
"Well, if you can, than so can I."
Her hands slid around from his chest onto the small his back. She pulled up his T-shirt and with a little help from Jake she pulled it off. He rolled back onto his stomach. She felt the scar on Jake's back. Her hand traced along its length. "Can you feel this?"
"Yup."
"Does it feel okay?"
"Yes, it's not painful or unpleasant if that's what you mean." Jake's face was relaxed and peaceful and a smile played around his mouth showing that he enjoyed her gentle touch.
"Good." She sat up, leaned over and kissed his back, one gentle kiss at a time, working her way along the scar and then all the way up to Jake's neck. She slid down and rested her head next to his. "You are the most handsome man I know and you are the only man I want to be with. To me you're still perfect."
He pushed himself onto his side, resting his head against his hand. "I have never been perfect and less so now. So if I am your yardstick for perfection I shall have a serious conversation with your boss about the quality of work you are delivering" he teased.
"Oh, you …" Her fist shot forward to punch his chest, but Jake caught it before it landed
"Hey, there's my little tigress, and I'd thought you were all tame now." They both laughed and Jake closed the distance and kissed her again. Then he pushed back. How about some of that wine you brought?
"Sure." She moved back, sitting against the padded faux-leather headboard. Jake did the same and took the glass she held for him. "Cheers—to new beginnings."
"To new beginnings."
They sat there for a moment sipping their wine in silence. It was getting dark outside. "Bedroom. Window. Transparency twenty percent." Jake darkened the bedroom window. He continued. "Bedroom. Lights. Mode sunset. Dim thirty percent." The full surface ceiling light bathed the bedroom in a pleasant yellowish glow. Jake activated the bedroom TV, switched to a channel that played slow, soothing music and darkened the screen. Then he put his wine away and took one of Emily's hands' into his. He looked at her. "Emily, do you want to sleep with me?"
"Yes, I do."
Jake leaned forward and pulled open the drawer of his nightstand. He popped a Sildenafil out of a blister pack and held the little blue, diamond shaped pill up for Emily to see. "I'll take one of these. Just to be on the safe side. It's my first time since the injury and I have to admit that I am a bit scared. I don't want to disappoint you." He popped the pill into his mouth and washed it down with another sip of wine.
Emily put her wine down, too. Then she straddled him and took his face between her hands. "Don't be scared, soldier. We'll take it really slow."
They started out by reacquainting themselves with each others' bodies. Their lovemaking was gentle, almost serene, giving each other lots of time to explore and experience the multifaceted sensations. Where before their sexual encounters had been urgent and almost desperate in their need for gratification, it was now slow and thoughtful, but no less gratifying ... In the end, both of them were glistening with sweat, they held each other and then both of them started to cry.
Emily was sleeping in the crook of his arm, one of her legs propped over his. He slid out of her embrace and into the chair, sipped some water then went to the bathroom. When he came back out Emily was awake. "I'm afraid supper is cold now," she whispered.
He smiled. "I'll trade supper any day for the experience I just had." He got back into bed wearing a pair of what looked like black and dark red runner's leggings. They went over his heels but otherwise his feet were bare. He stayed on his back and put his arms behind his head.
"What are these?" Emily pointed at the leggings?
"Oh, these things are really cool. They do all kinds of things—assist circulation and lymph flow from my legs, help prevent pressure sores, keep my legs warm when necessary and" he paused for the coup de grâce "they make me look like the next big thing in track and field." He grinned his crooked half-grin and pointed at the racing style design and trim.
"I like it." She snuggled back against him.
He pulled the microfiber duvet over them. "I could get used to this."
"Hmmm?"
"I said I could get used to this."
"I'm glad."
Jake put his arm around Emily and just lay there thinking about the day. Dr. Lassiter's words popped into his head. Remember that the reason you are here is the culmination of all of your decisions. It is your path and your choice where you go from here. Indeed it was his choice what would happen tomorrow. It would also be Emily's choice of course, but right now the future seemed more promising than it had in a very long time.
He rolled over onto his stomach and checked the position of his legs. He pushed the pillow out from under his head and chest. He needed to lie flat otherwise he would wake up with a sore lower back in the morning. He listened to Emily's slow, regular breathing and felt a sense of peace that had eluded him for the past year. It had been 362 days, not counting the ones he had been in an induced coma that he'd woken up every day with that feeling of heaviness in the chest, that feeling of being unwanted, unappreciated. Over time it had become easier to gather the strength to get up every day and face whatever challenges the day would bring. Tomorrow morning, Jake felt certain that for the first time this feeling would be replaced by a sense of purpose and determination. His decision to follow the impulse to call Emily had been right. He could still trust himself.
On Sunday morning when Jake woke up he felt at peace. He regarded Emily. She was still asleep next to him. Jake slipped out of bed and into the bathroom. When he came back he was wearing surfer shorts and brought along some sterile swabs, syringes, needles and a vial of Botox. He put it on his nightstand and got back into bed sitting against the headboard.
Emily opened her eyes. "Hey soldier."
"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
"Better than in a long time." She pulled his hand to her mouth and kissed it.
"I'm glad. Ready to face the day?"
"Ready when you are."
"Look here, I want to show you something."
Emily sat up against the headboard, too, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
Jake pulled back the blanket so that his legs were exposed. "Look at my feet. Do you see the tremors?" Some of the muscles in Jake's feet were twitching.
"Yes, isn't this a good sign?"
"No, it's called reflexive spasms. I have no control over these muscles. They just start doing their own thing and the brain can't tell them to stop. And the spasms can get a lot worse than this."
"So what do you do?"
"I inject the muscles with Botox."
"This is surreal. You actually need to paralyze your muscles because you're paralyzed?"
"Yeah, I know it's a bit weird." Jake took the syringe and attached a needle, drawing the liquid from the vial. Then he changed to a thinner, shorter needle. He held the syringe between his teeth, pulled up his foot and rested it on his other leg like in a lotus position. He swabbed it and ejected any remaining air from the syringe. Then he placed several small injections into the twitching muscles. He drew up a second syringe and repeated the exercise with the other foot. When only a single dose was left in the syringe he held it out for Emily. "Your turn."
She took the syringe from him. "Where?"
"Here." He pointed at a spot near the heel. "Avoid any visible blood vessels. Hold the syringe perpendicular to the skin. The muscle you want to inject here is neither very big nor deep. So you only need to push the needle in about this far." He indicated the distance between his thumb and index finger. "Before you inject the Botox you need to gently pull back on the plunger to see if you hit a blood vessel. If so, meaning if you draw blood into the syringe, you need to start over; new syringe, new needle, new Botox, new spot."
"Are you sure you want me to do this?"
"Yes, I'm sure and believe me even if you botch this one, I won't feel a thing." He flashed his teeth at her.
"Okay, here we go." She pushed the needle into Jake foot, tested for blood like he had instructed and when none appeared pushed in the Botox. Then she extracted the needle.
"That was pretty good for a first time." Jake straightened out his leg again.
"Why did you want me to do this?"
"Because there may be situations where you will have to inject me. Either because I'm incapacitated or because I can't reach and I'd prefer if you didn't kill me by injecting me with air or putting something into the bloodstream that isn't supposed to go there."
"Makes sense."
"Last year, for example, when I was with JJ he had to inject me when I had a spasm in my lower back."
"Why did that happen?"
"Too much exercise." He put the syringes aside.
"Oh."
"You think you can do this?"
"For you, nothing is beyond me. I'll wipe your butt if necessary."
"Oh, geez. I hope it never comes to that." He pushed himself down until he was lying flat, just his head propped up on the pillow and pulled the blanket up to his waist.
"Just saying." Emily moved down next to him, snuggling against his side and tracing patterns on his chest with her hand.
"So you still want to give us another try?"
She stopped the tracing and put her head onto Jake chest. "Yes I do. I haven't changed my mind."
Jake held her and stroked her hair. "Good. I'm glad."
After a while Emily got up. "I'm going to have a shower. I'm so glad there are no water restrictions here in Denver."
Jake waited until he heard the water running. Emily loved taking showers, she would be busy for ten minutes at least. What he needed to do now was old fashioned, but it was part of the Marine etiquette and apart from that he felt that he owed Emily's father the courtesy of this call. He sat up, took his cell phone and dialed Franklin's number. After several rings he answered and Jake switched to video.
"Jake, what a surprise. How are you? I believe my daughter is with you. Is something wrong?" A concerned look appeared on his face.
"Good morning, Colonel. No nothing is wrong. I just need to ask you something."
"Sure, what can I do for you?"
"Sir, I suppose you are aware that I am no longer in the Marine Corps?"
"Yes."
"And I suppose in that case you are also aware of the reason for my discharge."
"I don't know the details of what went down in Venezuela, but I know of the result."
Jake felt like navigating in quicksand. "So you are aware that I am paralyzed?"
"Yes I am."
Jake took a deep breath "Sir, this is the hardest question I have ever needed to ask." He paused. "Will you allow me to ask your daughter to marry me?"
Franklin blinked in surprise, but then he smiled, "Jake, my boy, you've got my blessing."
"Thank you, Colonel. And I hope to see you again, soon."
"See you soon, son."
Jake closed the feed. His heart was beating in his throat.
Jake rolled over onto his stomach and took the box with the ring out of his nightstand. He removed whatever was on top of it then he sat up and moved the nightstand away from the bed creating a two feet gap. He slid off the bed into the gap resting on his lower legs and supporting himself on his elbows. He pulled his right knee up and placed his foot flat on the ground so that he arrived at something resembling a kneeling position. This would have to do. After a while he heard the water being turned off and a minute later Emily appeared in the bathroom door wrapped in a towel. With a second she was busy rubbing her hair. She looked confused for a moment seeing Jake on the floor, but then she seemed to catch on and smiled. She sat down on her knees and heels in front of him wrapping the towel around her head.
Jake opened his right hand and extended it towards her as far as he could without losing his perch on the nightstand. The ring was lying in his palm. "Emily, will you marry me?"
Tears were shooting into Emily's eyes, her chin was trembling and she covered her mouth with one hand. With the other she took the ring out of Jake's palm and enclosed it in her fist, then clutched it tightly against her chest. All she could do was nod. She sat there crying, looking at Jake through her bloodshot eyes and Jake just remained still until she moved. Eventually she stood up and sat on the edge of the bed. Jake pushed himself up and sat next to her. She was still clutching the ring to her chest but now she put her other arm around Jake's shoulders and pulled him backwards until they were lying next to each other. Emily curled herself into Jake's side. She still hadn't said a word.
"Come let's get back under the covers, you are cold." Jake nudged Emily gently. She moved over to make space and Jake pulled his legs up and straightened out next to her. She rested her head on his chest again. Then, when the flow of tears had stopped she faced him and her mouth found his. Jake could taste the salt from her tears on her lips. When their lips finally parted Emily whispered "I love you Jake and yes, I will marry you." She finally unclenched her fist, took the ring and slipped it over her left ring finger. It fit perfectly.
"I love you, too, Emily. I love you with all my heart."
They spent the rest of the morning making plans. They agreed that Jake would move back to San Diego since his studies were mostly online and therefore didn't require him to stay in Denver. He mentioned the job with the fire department he had applied for but since no decision had been made yet, he explained, he would simply retract the application.
Emily's place, the one she had moved into after their break-up, was a one bedroom apartment in a high-rise similar to the one here in Denver but it was a bit less spacious. For the time being they figured it would do.
They considered driving back to San Diego together, stopping in Las Vegas on the way to elope, but then they decided against it and settled on a small ceremony involving their closest relatives and friends. Emily's dad and her childhood friend Corinne as her maid of honor with her husband, Jake's brother Tom and JJ as best man with his family. They went online, registered for a marriage license in San Diego and made an appointment for a civil ceremony for the sixteenth of September at four in the afternoon.
After lunch Jake took Emily back to the airport. She sat on his lap and he drove her to the security barrier through which she needed to pass. It was a bittersweet moment when they finally had to say good bye. They kissed one last long kiss and then Emily slipped off Jake's lap and walked up to the doors that led to the security check point. At the doors she turned around and waved at Jake once more, blew some kisses at him and then she was gone.
Jake turned the wheelchair around and made his way back to his truck. He passed those people who stared at him and those that pretended not to notice and the effect they had on him came back into focus. When he had been with Emily these things that normally cause him little pangs of hurt had seemed entirely inconsequential. Now he felt them even more acutely. He hadn't expected this, but he realized that he needed Emily because more than anything she gave him the feeling that he was just any other guy.
He thought about the tasks that lay ahead for the rest of the day. Call Tom and JJ, pack his few belongings and in the morning he needed to call the rental office and arrange for a move-out inspection of his apartment. He had rented the place fully furnished so he didn't need to worry about moving any large objects. He was planning to leave for San Diego immediately after the inspection. The trip was a bit over a thousand miles and he would do it in two days, stopping more or less half way, depending on what time he got to leave.
When Jake got home he pulled two large army duffel bags out of the bottom of the wardrobe and threw them on his bed. He checked the time. It was a quarter past four. It would be another fifty minutes before Emily landed in San Diego. He had made her promise to call him as soon as she was on the ground. He wanted to make sure he wasn't on the phone when she called, so he decided to call Tom first. He dialed Tom's number.
Tom appeared on the screen of Jake's phone after a couple of rings. He seemed to be walking somewhere down a long corridor. "Hey Jake, Long time no see."
"Hey Tom."
"How are you? How's Denver?"
"I'm fine and you? How is the training going?"
"Training is going great. To what do I owe the pleasure of your unexpected call?"
"Could you get out of your training for a day?"
"Sure. Depends when though."
"Sixteenth of September."
"The sixteenth? Let me check my schedule."
While Tom was checking, Jake contemplated what to do if Tom couldn't get out of his program. Nothing—he decided. He wouldn't reschedule his wedding if Tom couldn't make it. He felt that they had drifted even further apart over the last couple of months since Jake had moved to Denver. They never called each other; they hadn't even spoken on their birthday.
Tom came back. "Sixteenth is ok. I can get the day off if necessary. So what's happening on the sixteenth?"
"I'm getting married."
Tom stopped dead. "Wow. Now that's the last thing I expected. Congratulations."
"Will you come?"
"Sure. What's your fiance's name?"
"Emily. Are you going to bring someone?"
"No, I'm not seeing anyone. Where's the wedding? Denver?"
"No it'll be in San Diego at four in the afternoon. If you can make it the day before, I'm going to have a bit of a bachelors' as well."
"I'll see what I can do." Tom started walking again. "And Jake?"
"Yeah?"
"How's your back?"
"It's unchanged Tom. I'm still paralyzed."
"Just asking."
"Well, thanks for asking."
"I'll see you in a few weeks. I'll let you know if I can come the day before."
"Okay. See you."
"See you Jake."
Jake closed the feed. He checked the time again. Only two minutes had passed. He decided to call JJ next.
"Hi Jake, what's up man?"
"Hi JJ. Do you have any plans for the sixteenth of September?"
"No, not that I'm aware of. Why? Are you coming for a visit?"
"Yes in fact I am."
"Cool, I'm looking forward to seeing you in person again."
"You'll actually see me sooner than that. I'm moving back to San Diego."
"But Emily…" He trailed off. "Don't tell me you are seeing Emily again?"
Jake nodded into the camera on his phone.
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Jake?"
"Yes, I believe it is. I'll tell you all about it when I get back to San Diego."
"When are you arriving?"
"Should be there by Tuesday."
"Wow, that soon. Well, I'm certainly looking forward to seeing you again and to your explanation. You never mentioned anything about this when I talked to you four days ago."
"Four days ago I didn't know."
"Hmm. Just be careful Jake, I really don't want her to hurt you again."
"Believe me JJ, I am fully aware of what I'm doing."
"Okay. So what's happening on the sixteenth, then? House-warming party?"
Jake laughed. "No, much better than that. I would like to ask you to do something for me."
"Sure if I can."
"Will you be my best man?" Jake could see the astonishment on JJ's face mixed with a trace of concern.
"Jeez, Jake, are you saying that you and Emily…"
"Yes, that's what I'm saying. Emily and I are going to get married on the sixteenth."
"I am happy for you Jake and I am honored to be your best man."
"I hear a 'but' coming."
"But you better drag your sorry ass over here Wednesday night. I want to know exactly what brought about this unexpected turn of events. And believe me, if I think that you are doing something incredibly stupid—I would whip your butt if you could feel it."
"I appreciate your concern JJ, but I think that won't be necessary in any case. I'll see you Wednesday evening."
"Okay. Have a safe drive."
"Will do. See you Wednesday."
He started packing, pulling his clothes out of drawers and off the shelves of his wardrobe and stuffing them into one of the duffel bags. He collected his shoes and regarded each pair thoughtfully; his dress shoes that were part of the marine uniform which he had last worn during the discharge ceremony at Quantico; his old-school, plain sneakers he wore to the gym almost daily and his snow boots that he had worn every day during his trip to Whistler. Last he took his army boots off the floor of his wardrobe. He had worn them on his last mission, on the day of his last jump. While the medics had cut his uniform from his body, for some reason they had left his boots intact and someone had returned them to him. Initially it had felt like a cruel joke, but now he was glad that he still had them. In some way they were a symbol of the connection that tethered the old Jake Sully to the new.
He had thought that he could never wear them again, not because of any physical limitation, but because of all the pain and emotions that were attached to them. Now however, he felt that they were no longer a symbol of failure. In fact the whole concept of success and failure had shifted from something clearly defined, from polar opposites, from black and white to something much hazier. The line between success and failure had become blurred and Jake realized that failure was not the opposite but rather, in many respects, a prerequisite for success.
Jake put the boots aside. Instead he slipped off his Skechers and put them into the bag with the others. He would wear his boots tomorrow on the trip back to San Diego.