Chapter 2 – Angel (Edward's POV)
"I must have done something wrong", I said quietly. "She's too still."
"You did everything could have done and so much more, son", Carlisle argued, his thoughts mirroring his words perfectly. He had too much faith in me. Faith in no way do I deserve.
Alice's vision suddenly clouded my own - Bella, dazzling and perfect, waking up into immortality. A wide grin spread across my face. She's going to survive after all. And, at last, we're equals. Bella would stop pleading me to give her what she thought she wanted the most, now that she has it. She's strong now and less breakable so I wouldn't have to worry that I might lose her on a daily basis. The Volturi would stop hovering over us now. I just hoped she wouldn't be disappointed and regret her choice when she found out about the omnipresent thirst.
And I wish her luck also improved along with everything else.
Then, the vision turned into an unexpected twist. Bella, looking honestly curiously, asked me, "Do you know me?"
I immediately rearranged, unconsciously, my facial expression – from ecstatic to….horrified.
Bella, like Alice, had forgotten her human memories.
And, also like Alice, she might never, ever remember them again. She might never remember me – as her husband, her destiny, the father of our wonderfully unique daughter. She might never remember our glorious Reneesme, because of this she might not understand. Alice, always one step ahead of everyone else, flew down to Rosalie. She instructed Rose and Jacob to take Reneesme into our little cottage for awhile.
So she could be safe from her own mother.
It pained me greatly to think of it that way - that Bella might hurt our half-human daughter only because she didn't remember her.
Just when I thought the stars were finally starting to align on our favor, yet another complication arises. After everything we're been through, after defying both our worlds together, this thing - her transformation - that we've always thought would finally solve all our remaining dilemmas, turns out to be yet another odd that was against us.
But how can I overcome this, now that I don't have my angel beside me? Now, that I'm…alone?
My hand tightened instinctively tightened around hers yet she did not even budge. I felt like I was a human punched hard in the gut. A hole was slowly forming on my chest as I come to terms with the knowledge of her oblivion. What if she runaway from us? What if she wanted to be alone? Or, worse, what if she fell in love with someone else and decided to leave us?
I knew I would let her go. I would respect whatever her decision would be. I owe her that much.
But, how about Reneesme?
What do I say to her when she looks for her mother?
Alice was suddenly by side, her little hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look her in the eye. I just can't. I don't want her to see the agony that was surely written all over my face.
So, I closed my eyes instead.
She sighed, exasperated.
Edward I don't have anything to prove my word right now but I have a strong feeling this would turn out fine in the end. Be strong, please, for Bella, for Nessie, for yourself. Please, Edward, listen to me!
"Easy for you to say. You're not the one losing your reason for existence," I murmured miserably.
"What's happening? ," Carlisle asked. He was a little irritated, something unusual, since he had been asking that to me, in his thoughts, but I was too absorbed in my misery to give a damn.
"I'll call all the others. It's almost time." Alice said, bolting out the door and leaving me to explain to Carlisle the hell I was being put through.
"She had amnesia, Carlisle." It was amazing how much it hurt to say it aloud. And forcing them to the air seemed to solidify the certainty of the torment I was about to experience.
It was so unexpected, something I was not particularly used to feeling, when Carlisle simply shrugged. He seemed…guilty. The morphine…was all his mind could say.
"It was the morphine..?,"I asked, disbelief apparent in my voice.
He nodded apologetically. I'm sorry, Edward. I should have warned you. But I didn't think you'd get so overboard with it so I didn't think you'd need the warning. Even his thoughts were heavily saturated with guilt.
"It's hardly your fault. You have absolutely nothing to be guilty for. Don't torment yourself." I said. I really wasn't blaming him. I wasn't even the littlest bit infuriated with him. It was not only because I don't have any right to, but because I wasn't sure if I'd ever feel anything else but pain right now. I don't think I'll ever be capable of feeling anything else again. Not without my angel.
As if on cue, my angel slowly opened up her eyes. She looked at the ceiling and seemed…fascinated. I blocked her view and so I'll be the first person she sees. Perhaps she'll remember.
I looked at her blood-red eyes and worried about her throat. Her thirst had to be unbearable right not. Oh my angel, my poor Bella had to be in so much pain right now.
I didn't notice we were not alone - I was too preoccupied – until Jasper spoke aloud.
"Do not get too close to her, Edward. She's still a newborn and she's still extremely dangerous", he said and added, No matter how much you think otherwise. His voice came out blunt and I wanted to toss him around for speaking – and thinking – about her that way, even though it might be true. But I didn't want to leave Bella's side for a second, not until she orders me away. Just thinking about her inevitable parting words in the near future made it impossible to function normally.
I felt Bella get up and ripped he hand away from mine. I felt the pain caused by the huge hole in my stone chest was intensifying by the second. I reminded myself this was just the first of the many rejections that would sure to follow.
She crouched in the other side of the room. She was already a vampire – that much was physically obvious – yet she didn't appear to have even the slightest tendency of being menacing. If anything, she looked even more endearing to me.
"Em, Jazz, that's not really necessary", I said to the two as calmly as I could. How dare them threaten to hurt my angel.
They left their defensive positions yet still ready to grab and calm down Bella if she showed the slightest inkling to be a threat. I sighed, frustrated. I didn't really think Bella could and would hurt me – even if she didn't remember me. And, in all honesty, I wouldn't have cared even if she did.
"Bella", I called her gently, the way the ways I've always did and always will. I hope that, deep in her heart, she'll be able to recall the loving way my voice wraps around her name like a caress.
I started to walk towards her in my normal speed, eager as usual to have her under my touch, even for only a while. Jasper, bursting my bubble, started shouting a big No! in his head. Oh, please, Edward, if you value my sanity, please at least try to walk slowly. Alice would never forgive me if anything happens to you, he pleaded.
I rolled my eyed but complied. I took my time to reach my angel and for the first time appraised her new body. She was every bit as dazzling as she always has been. Her white marble skin was faintly glowing from the light of the fluorescent and her rich dark brown hair crowned her glorious face perfectly, like a cascading waterfall.
I stopped directly in front of her and tenderly reached for her face. To my delightful surprise, she relaxed under my touch.
Just like the old times.
"Edward", she said in her new, wonderful voice.
She knew me! She remembered me after all! Perhaps Alice's vision was wrong. Everything was perfect now, just like it should be. Exactly like it should be.
I never fully believed in fairytales before. We were creatures of the dark; we do not deserve happiness. Yet somehow, all my family had found their mates and had experienced elation they never thought possible before.
And now I was feeling the same.
Perhaps, just like in the books, I will finally get a taste of consummate happiness.
But her next words broke my frozen heart to a million tiny, ragged pieces, like a disturbed crystal at the edge of a table.
"Do you know me?"