Even when I got everything off of my chest, it doesn't make me feel me better. I feel the same. Horrible. Maybe it's because Rose can't hear me. Maybe it's because talking can't help anything. Maybe it's because I can never be forgiven.
Rose looks so peaceful when she is sleeping. Pale, but peaceful. It was almost as if there wasn't a care in the world in her mind. I wanted to stare at her perfect skin, round eyes, and soft lips for forever and forget about everything bad going on in my life. But, alas, some dreams will never come true. While I was holding her hand and lightly running my thumb over her cheek, the room door opened. When I looked over my shoulder, Dr. Olendzki was standing behind me with a sad smile on her face. I sighed.
"Time to come back." She said.
"No," I said, with a frown. " You said I have to be back in my room at Five O'clock."
"Yes. That is what I said. And now it is Six-Thirty." She explained. "It looked like you were in an intense conversation. I though I'd give you some more time. Now visiting hours are up for normal guests. Why don't you say your goodbyes?"
I looked back at Rose while she had her dreams. Some she might not wake up from. I wished and wished that they were good. She deserved something nice in her life; Especially at this point. She wasn't going to miss me. She wouldn't have even known that I was here. That's what I was trying to tell myself. I believed it. But something inside of me… Something was tugging at my gut. Almost like it was telling me that I was wrong. Like that she could hear me. Like she knew.
I pushed the feeling out of my mind and gave her a little kiss on the forehead.
Slowly and reluctantly, I walked away. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay until she got better. Until she woke up. I wanted to be the first person she saw. To be the first person she hugged. And, if she was conscious in her mind, I wanted her to know I was there for her and I would always love her. Because I couldn't take it anymore. I needed my Rose.