Observations of a Baked Potato
Report written by: Dr. Owen Harper
Observed: Lunchtime
Specimens: a baked potato, Captain Jack Harkness
Report commences:
Hmph. It's time for lunch and the Captain has just given me a baked potato. When I asked why the heck he gave me it, he just answered that he'd had one left over from his dinner last night and thought maybe I'd like it, because he distinctly remembered me saying once that I like baked potatoes. Which is true.
So,yeah. I'm surprised and slightly suspicious at his generosity, but I'm hungry, and that potato looks really good. The Captain even got the Teaboy to warm it up for me! Maybe the Captain's not so bad…
Oh my G-D!!!! The potato just moved!!!! I was about to put my fork in and it TWITCHED!!!!
Breathe in…Breathe out….Look around….Make sure no one saw my small display of unmanliness….Phew….No one was paying attention. Good.
I'm checking over the potato carefully, but I don't see anything unusual. It's a normal potato—brown and lumpy. Hmm…Maybe it's something inside of the potato…Time to dissect the potato!!!
Hee hee…This is fun. I've never dissected a potato before. It feels weird. It's all mushy, and it doesn't have any internal organs.
Wait…there's something metal in there! It's some kind of controller…wait a second. It's that device that controls inanimate objects. What's a controller doing in there?
…
There can be only one person idiotic enough to put a controller in a potato just to see me jump….
Captain Harkness…YOU ARE DEAD!!!!!
I've had this idea in my head for quite a while. I hope it turned out well…Please review and tell me what you think!