The next night Denise was up walking around the house quietly, she couldn't sleep and nothing was working and the pain was starting again.

She went and sat in the living room and tried to just relax and hoped it would go away.

Jordana was sleeping peacefully in Frank's arms. He slid out of bed, he heard someone stirring, probably his son worried about his little boy's first big holiday.

When he got up though it was Denise, she was on the couch trying her best to be quiet.

"Hey," he said softly. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore," she admitted. "You okay?"

"Sore myself," he replied. "Jordana is sleeping like a rock in there."

Denise smiled "I have always been a light sleeper."

"I know, I remember that one time I had a broken rib, I moved and you were up in a second..." He sat down. "Denise, have you thought at all about what we talked about?"

"Chemo?"

"Yes," he replied. "If Robert isn't plugged in, Jeremy will step up. I will be there every step of the way."

"No, I'm not doing it," she said.

"Denise, why? Just give me a solid reason why," Frank replied.

"Because I don't want to," she said firmly hoping he'd drop it.

"Why, Sweetheart?" He took her hand.

"Why do something that's not going to work and just put myself in more pain?"

Frank nodded, "Okay, Sweetheart," he said gently. "Okay, but how do you know it won't help? Is it in other organs too?"

"It's in my hip and my leg, my back and my ribs," she said trying to remember the pattern her doctor told her it was taking.

"So just the bones but a lot of them," he sighed. "Denise, I ...I have to ask if...if things were..." He was choked up and having trouble talking.

"What?"she asked.

"If things were different, if...WE...would you?"

"Probably," she said nodding her head.

"Why?" He pressed. "Why then and not now?"

"Because you'd make me."

"Yeah, I'd make you and I'd do it by asking you," he turned and took her hand. "From my heart to yours, Denise, please thing about this."

She sighed and to his dismay started to cry.

He pulled her in close, "There we go, that's it..." It was then she saw the scar on his chest.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

"I had heart surgery," he replied. "You knew, I told Jordana to..."

"She never told me," she informed him. He was surprised.

He sighed, "I'd asked her to tell you so you could come see...when I saw you this sick I thought..."

"She never called, I'd have been there if she had sick or not," she assured him.

He nodded as a way of absolving guilt that was not even hers to begin with. "Okay, honey, it's all right. It doesn't hurt; lay right here."

She pulled away a little, she was afraid of hurting him.

"It doesn't hurt," he told her. "Lay here."

She hesitated but laid her head on his chest, she was terrified of this cancer and it showed.

"Want to listen to a gem of wisdom from your bad tempered stubborn ex husband?" he asked holding her.

She laughed and nodded "Sure."

"You have a war inside of you and if there's one thing I know about it's war. I know you're frightened, I know you're angry, I know you're confused, and that's real good because it also means you're paying attention. I want you to think about it, and think do you want to surrender or invade."

She just laid there and kept quiet, she just wanted someone to hold her and tell her everything was okay and Robert wouldn't do that.

"I don't want you to decide now, but over the next couple of days just think about it and whatever you choose, I'll support it with Jeremy, with Robert...but by the New Year you have to tell the truth or I will."

She only nodded, she was now shaking, that scared her; she didn't want people looking at her differently.

"I know you're afraid, I know you're very afraid but you feel better now don't you, just being held real close?"

She nodded and snuggled closer to him.

"How do we know you need us if you don't tell us the truth?" he asked rubbing her back.

"I was afraid," she said so quietly he'd almost missed it.

"Of what? That we wouldn't love you as much as we do right now. Dee, we'll love you more."

"No, of people looking at me differently," she insisted and was getting rather upset.

"Differently?" he didn't understand.

"When I do chemo, I'm going to get sick, my hair's going to fall out; people are going to look at me differently! They are going to take pity and I don't want that," she declared.

"You know I lost mom last year right?" he asked her, he loved his mother dearly and never talked about her death with anyone.

"Yeah, your sister called me."

"She died of cancer," Frank told her with tears already running down his cheeks. "And I didn't see anything to pity, and I was there with her...all I did was admire a woman that fought hard to survive." He pushed her off and got up to turn away.

""Frank," she said putting her hand on his shoulder."I'm so sorry, I didn't know."

His breathing got very fast, he had pushed so much down in the last five years. Jordana was not open at all to male expression of emotion through anything but anger and sex.

Denise put her arms around him and held him close. "Ssh, I know it hurts," she soothed. "I know."

And in the safety of her arms he let it go and go and go...she'd never seen him do this, just cry like this, not the night he learned of Jeremy's abuse, not the night they decided it was over, not even the night their son tried to take his own life, never had she seen this much pain come from him and it made her angry.

She let him go and sat him on the sofa. "Stay here, I'll be right back," she said and kissed his cheek before going to give Jordana a piece of her mind.

Denise got up and went to the bed room where Jordana was just waking up. "How could you?"she snapped.

"What?" Jordana asked rolling over reaching for her husband. "Where is..."

"Right now he is in the living room sobbing for his mother, it seems to me like he hadn't gotten to do that because this has been bottled up for a while," she said "No wonder his heart is bad!"

"His heart is fine!" she snapped. "If he wanted to grieve he could have!"

"Apparently he doesn't know that and his heart is not fine if he had to he have surgery! You didn't even call me!" she fired. "He asked you to and you didn't!"

"Why would I do that?" she hissed. "Since the day he and I married I lived in your shadow!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Me and you!" she snapped. "It was Denise would do, Denise would say...I'm not you!"

"Yeah well that's obvious!"she snapped. "I'd have never let him get in this shape!"

"Maybe it's because of that processes like he does, it's not okay for a man to fall apart like that!" She got up to go to her husband but Denise as in her way. "I think you've done enough, there's a time in the Army when you have to back out and leave it to the experts, and I'd say I'm that when it comes to him."

"He's my husband!" Jordana defended.

"Not right now he's not," Denise said and went back to Frank. Sure enough he was still very upset, had his hand on his chest and couldn't catch his breath.

She thought quickly and did what he did for her when she had panic attacks, she sat behind him and pulled him to her chest and held on tight.

He fought her hold, her arms made it harder to draw breath. She thought of something else, she loosened his robe, his pajama bottoms and shirt then sat face to face with his hands in hers. "You're fine, no one is upset with you, and it's all right to miss your Mom."

He tried to talk but couldn't.

Jordana wasn't going to sit idly by. She made her was out to the living room. "Frank, I know you're upset but this is enough."

"Okay, look either sit down and shut up or leave!"Denise snapped never breaking contact with Frank.

Meanwhile the noise woke Jeremy and he stumbled out, "What's going. Dad! Tanya!"

"Nothing son, I've got it," Denise comforted still totally focused on her objective.

"He's sick Mom!" Jeremy was panicked and that upset Frank and he tried to push things down even more.

"Okay, Jeremy, take Jordana and go to the kitchen and wait for me. Go, now!" she ordered. "I'll come and talk to you in a minute"

Tanya heard her husband and came out, she acted like it was no big deal. "Again?"

Denise nodded. "He's having trouble breathing."

"I know, every time he comes we do this," Tanya sighed. "Frank you want medrol?"

He nodded.

"Denise, upper left deltoid, and cleanse please." Those two spoke their own language; Tanya prepared the medicine while Denise cleaned his arms with an alcohol swab and counted as the medicine went in. He relaxed quickly and fell asleep from the exhaustion.

"Tanya, help me get him to bed," Denise said "He needs to sleep and everyone leave him alone"

"Let's kick them to bed and leave him, he's really grumpy when he comes out of that too fast and I'm afraid to move him."

Denise silently agreed. "How often, every time he's hear?" Denis asked. She was so upset over this.

"Everytime."

"This can't be healthy," she sighed. "Is his heart...this issue with his heart at all related to this?"

"Likely it's a contributing factor, yeah," Tanya affirmed.

"Okay, then you need to tell that little witch..." Denise caught herself. "Let's just go calm them down."

She nodded and they went to talk to Jordana and Jeremy.

"Mom knows him very well," Jeremy was telling her. "You'd do well to listen to her."

"I don't need to listen to her, she's the reason he's this screwed up in the first place!" she said

"Jordana I like you a lot but you respect my mother in my house," Jeremy warned as the ladies entered. "He's resting with a shot of medrol," Tanya replied. "This was very bad for him, Jordana."

Jordana glared at Denise, she did not like this woman.

Tanya was running this show, "We all need to realize something here, and Jeremy I'm sorry if you don't want to hear this but your father has a genetic predisposition for heart disease and if he doesn't learn to off put stress and release his tension he's going to be dead before he's fifty like his father and I know none of you want that."

They all shook their heads; no one wanted him dead, especially Denise.

"So Jordana, if that man wants or needs to cry 24/7 to release his stress you give him a hug and a tissue. Jeremy if he's struggling, don't yell at him and smother him, you get me?"

They both nodded.

"Denise is going to bed, I'm going to feed Jake, one of you sit up and if either of you upset him you will deal with me and ask my husband it is not a wise thing to choose to do"

"I'll stay with him," Jordana said quickly.

"You do nothing but hold his hand, I mean it!" she warned.

Everybody went to do as Tanya said, all except for Denise. She sat in her room listening, she couldn't get the sound of Frank's cries out of her head.

Jeremy knew his mother too well and after Tanya fed the baby he took the boy to his mother's room. "I know Mom; you want to be out there with him."

She sighed. "I have never seen him like that."

"I know," he replied. "I know, but you two are split. Speaking of where's Rob?"

"I have no idea, I have not seen him in three days," she replied. "His company has a branch here and I know he was overseeing some work."

"Well day after tomorrow is Christmas Eve," Jeremy replied. "He can't work then."

"Yeah, we'll see," she said. "He did last year."

Jeremy gave her a hug, "If you want I'll use Jacob to lure Jordana away and you can sit with Dad."

Denise laughed "Thank you."

Jeremy went out, "Jordana, I need you help please."

"What's wrong?"she asked.

"He just won't settle right, you sing him those songs and he just goes down, can you please rock him in his rocker Dad made?"

"Sure," she said smiling and went to rock Jacob, which was something Denise didn't do.

Denise waited about ten minutes then went to Frank. He was already waking up.

She put her hand on his back and rubbed "Hey soldier."

He was groggy and spacey, she expected that. "Feel like I'm going to be sick."

She helped him to the bathroom and sat with him while he was sick and rubbed his back.

"What the Hell?" he asked confused. Denise just put him in bed, "Don't talk, just lay."

"What happened?" he asked.

"Looks like a really bad panic attack," she replied. "Just lay now in the bed."

He nodded; he didn't have the strength to do anything else.

"I need you to lay, Frank," she told him. "Can I see your legs?"

"Why?"

"Let me be the nurse," she said. "I want to see if your ankles swell?"

"They're not," he said certain of himself.

"Can I see for myself please?"

He sighed but nodded and let her see for herself.

"Okay good," Denise replied. "Try to sleep more. I'm going to." She put up his blankets as Jordana came in the room.

"Hey honey, you're awake," she said smiling and climbing right on the bed.

Denise smiled and went to go to bed. Frank was dozing off again, "Hi Sweetheart."

"You feel okay?"she asked laying her head on his shoulder.

He shook his head, "Feeling weak and tired." Then he knew he was drugged, he admitted his real feelings to his wife.

"That's okay, it's the medicine," she comforted. "You'll be fine after you rest."

He nodded and she surprised him then by sitting up in bed and pulling him so he could lay his head in her lap. That was not a Jordana thing to do, even after his surgery.

"I know I haven't been here for you but that is going to change, starting now."

He nodded, "You're fine Jordy."

"No, I messed up," she murmured, a bit ashamed that she'd hadn't seen how badly bottling "You were suffering and I didn't even see it."

"You didn't want to see it," he told her gently. "We mean different things to each other Jordy."

"What?"she asked.

"We mean different things to each other," he repeated.

She was confused, was that a bad thing?

"That's good," he went on. "This is the second marriage for both of us, we need to mean different things or we'll fail."

She sighed in relief "You scared me."

He kissed her, "Don't be scared."

She smiled and cuddled up to him, she was going to make this work, Denise would not win him back, she wouldn't let it happen.