Yay! :) People liked it, hehehe. I am just full of humor.

Chapter One

I woke to my cell phone ringing. Sighing, yawning and stretching, I reached out, grabbed it off the nightstand and checked the caller ID. Lula. I ignored her, snuggled back under the covers and closed my eyes. A second later, it started to ring again. I missed a million calls from her all yesterday but that was only because I refused to leave my house on my sucky birthday. I told her this quite a few times yet she still persisted all day yesterday.

Now, she was waking me up while I tried to sleep off the birthday funk I'd been in.

"Hello?"

"Where have you been!?" She shrieked dramatically. "I had to file all yesterday. It sucked."

"I told you already-"

"Today's a new day. Hurry your ass up." Then she hung up. Ah, my loving friends. Whatever would I do without their kind words?

I got up, did the brushing teeth-taking shower thing, got dressed, fed Rex and peeked in my cabinets. Still no food. Damn food fairy. My mental complaint of my empty kitchen brought me back to Diesel's words yesterday evening and the so called 'spell' he had placed on Ranger. Now that I was rested and thinking rational, I snorted in laughter at it now. Yeah right. Diesel was obviously pulling my chain. Why had I bought that crud? Psh.

I grabbed my purse, got my car keys and went off to tackle the day, praying that nothing bad happened.

*******

"Oh look who showed up for work today."

I rolled my eyes at Vinnie who was glaring at me from behind his cracked door.

"I don't pay you to sleep around all day! I pay you to find criminals!"

Then he slammed the door, locked it and that was it. That was what I got from my boss for missing a day of work. Not too bad, if I do say so myself. At least he didn't put me on probation or fire me. Then again, he'd never do that. Mostly because my job was shit and no sane person wanted to do it.

As soon as Vinnie's door closed, Lula hopped up, brought out a box of doughnuts along with a bucket of chicken and started in on them. Connie and I watched her with looks of disgust.

"What?" She asked. "He would have wanted some."

We shrugged, grabbed our own portions and finished each box off in less than ten minutes.

"What's new?"

Connie handed me the files, I skimmed over them and then set them back down. There were a total of ten and not one looked especially exciting at the moment. They all just looked dangerous and crappy and reminded me that I was thirty five. Great. I was still sulking.

"So, how does it feel to be thirty five? Whoo whee, that's kinda old. I never want to be thirty five. I'd die."

I gave Lula my hardest glare and she shut up. I thought about telling her that she looked at least sixty but thought better of it. Taking my anger out on the rather large, black woman would only result in my untimely death. I was lucky but not delusional.

Ten minutes later, I was still lounging around the bonds office, spread out over the couch. I had my eyes closed and was day dreaming of unicorns when the door opened and in stepped Ranger.

I sat up instantly and eyed him warily. Although I told myself that Diesel was full of bullshit, I couldn't help but examine Ranger. I sighed in disappointment when I saw him though. He was still in black, still had that placid look on his face, still the same Ranger. As I expected, the spell didn't work.

I slumped back in my seat, closed my eyes and then opened them when I felt a shadow cross over me. Ranger was staring down at me.

"Working hard?"

"Of course. You know me."

He only gave me a small shake of his head. Yep. Same Ranger tendencies. Nothing was different.

I hauled myself off the couch and grabbed the files I'd placed on Connie's desk. I could see the other two woman's faces: they had their eyes locked on Ranger and were licking their lips. Understandable.

I started to open a file and show it to Ranger, to enlist his help because I was still so incredibly lazy and miserable but I lost my grip and the papers went flying all over the floor. With a grumble, a few curses and a childish stomp of my foot, I bent down to pick them up and a sound from behind me made me freeze.

A whistle.

"Damn, your ass looks good in those jeans."

Silence.

All at once and in perfect sync, might I add, Connie, Lula and I turned to stare at Ranger in what could only be labeled astonishment, amusement and disbelief.

Had Ranger just whistled and complimented my ass in public?

One look at his face confirmed my suspicions. He was blinking rapidly, looking mighty stupefied and his eyebrows were furrowed. He was obviously bewildered by his own words. He glanced at me, stared, glanced down at himself and shook his head as if to clear it.

Holy shit.

Diesel's spell worked.

********

Ranger

The hell......?

I could feel the ladies staring at me and it was ticking me off. "What!?" I asked irately. They all went wide eyed and lowered their heads.

The fuck?

I glanced down at my fingers and flexed them. Then I wiggled my toes, stretched my arm and twisted my neck. I could still control all of my limbs.

So why had my mouth suddenly developed a brain of its own that, apparently, worked automatically?

I shook my head again, faster this time, opened my mouth, closed it and then shook my head again. Something wasn't right. I was feeling off. I was feeling...

"Ranger, are you alright?"

I turned to Connie, who had asked the question, narrowed my eyes and said, "My head hurts a little and I have a stomach ache. Probably because I skipped breakfast. But other then that, I'm fine."

The women started gaping at me again.

WHAT THE-

I balled my fingers into fist and felt like banging them against my head. Or my mouth to cease my seemingly uncontrollable words. What in the world was going on? I never spoke this much. I never lost control of my own reactions. Was that even possible?! I stared down at my feet and started to count. Relax. I just needed to relax.

"Ranger...." Stephanie started warily, drawling out her words. "I think we need to talk...."

"Stephanie I don't-" I paused, looked up at my hands that were in my hair, blinked, pulled them out and then exclaimed, "How's my hair!? Does my hair look okay?"

More gaping from the women.

God, damn it! I paced, growled, glanced at them and then stormed out. Something was most definitely wrong. I was sprouting out unnecessary bullshit and I couldn't even stop it! I hadn't felt like this in the morning...had I? I calmed when I got to my car. Breathed in, exhaled out and assured myself that it was just the four hour rest talking. I needed to cut back on my work hours, get more sleep, eat better. All that jazz.

My cell phone rang while I slid behind the wheel. Tank. "Hey boss, we have a problem-"

"Fuck. I hate problems. I wish we could have one day off without problems to go to the beach, swim, chill, just be at ease. I've always liked how calm the water was."

Silence.

"What?" Tank asked, his voice layered with shock.

I cursed, hung up and ran a hand down my face. What was happening to me!? I saw Stephanie heading towards me, turned the key and drove off. I couldn't afford to speak to her right now. Not with my unpredictable mouth betraying me every second. I turned onto the street, started to curve onto a lane but a car swerved in front of me and cut me off.

That was all I remember before I stuck my head out the window and started bellowing out at the offending vehicle.

"MOTHERFUCKER! BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER! I GOT YOUR LICENSE PLATE! WE'LL SEE WHO HAS THEIR CAR AT THE END OF THE DAY!"

********

Stephanie

Not good, not good, not good, not good, not good, not good, not good......

I hopped in my car, drove off and waved goodbye to Lula and Connie who were peeking out of the bonds office, staring wide eyed at me. They were dumbfounded. I could understand why. Seeing Ranger whistle at me, shriek about his hair and curse someone out who cut him off was quite a lot to be dumbfounded about.

I wanted to go after him, to explain what happened but...honestly, what would I say?

Oh yeah, Ranger, there's a magical spell that is making you open up more! Diesel did it! Haha, want some beer?!

How would that sound? He'd probably shoot me. Oh god, he'd probably shoot everyone. He'd go on a killing spree. Trenton would look like Armageddon.

I was still freaking out about it when I heard the all too familiar whoosh. My eyes spun on Diesel, sitting beside me in the passenger seat. He had a half eaten sub in his hands and was grinning. You know, it was a pretty sad to think but I was use to men appearing out of thin air in my life. Freaky. You never wanted to get used to that.

I narrowed my eyes at him and stopped for a red light. "Turn him back."

"What was that?"

"Turn him back!" I exclaimed, flailing my arms. "Ranger. The spell. The opening up! Reverse it! Stop it! Do something!"

Diesel stared, took a bite of his sub and chewed. "If I do recall, you didn't even believe in my powers."

He was smiling and obviously amused. I wanted to punch his lights out. "Just.....quit it!"

"Why? I thought this was what you wanted."

I opened my mouth to object but then shut it. I thought about it for a beat and churned my car on pass the now green light. I had said I wanted him to be more open. But NOT forcefully. I wanted Ranger to open up when he wanted to. And not to the whole wide world! Just to me!

"Sweetheart, that's never going to happen." Diesel rolled his eyes. I was talking out loud again, of course. "And when or if it does, it'll be too late. Sorry to say it but the man needs to get his head out of his ass and propose to you before someone else does. See, I think of this as me doing him a favor. Consider it your birthday gift and an early one to him."

I don't think Ranger would see it that way at all. I think Ranger would see it as someone fucking with his life, his power, his control, his instincts and he'd want to terminate that someone as quickly as possible. And I didn't believe a word out of Diesel's mouth. He wasn't doing this for any reason excluding his own entertainment. "Well...I take it all back. I don't want him honest. Just reverse it!"

"Sorry." Diesel finished off his sub and shrugged. "It's out of my hands already."

I gaped. "What!?"

"Yep. Ranger's stuck like that."

"UNTIL?"

"Until I find my unmentionable, I suppose....or until I find a house to live in...."

I eyed him angrily, parked in my apartment lot and saw right through his act. "If I let you stay with me then will you reverse it?"

He got out, leaned down to smile at me through the window and said, "If you let me stay with you and buy me some candy."

Diesel: the grown man with a little boy mind. "Is that all?"

"I don't know....I might need some assistance if you're willing to help." He wiggled his eyes suggestively.

"No." I told him coldly.

"Worth a shot." He sighed and shrugged. "Help me find my unmentionable then?"

"Why do you need my help? I thought you said that yesterday was just a drop by to say hi."

"I lied."

Figures.

"FINE! I'll help. Will you take it off NOW?!"

He clicked his tongue, formed his hand into the shape of a gun and aimed it at me. "I'll think about it." Then he was off, skirting towards my building and disappearing inside.

I got out, slammed my car door and stomped after him. I wondered if I should shoot him in his sleep but then thought better of it. I didn't have a place to hide the body, I hated blood and I didn't want to go to jail.

Besides, I didn't do well with guns.

Hah. He's kinda scary now...bwaha. && Yeah, to my reviewer; I love Liar Liar! Haha. Go this idea from it :D

More soon. ^_^ Hope you enjoyed.