Observations of an Untrustworthy Man by the darkness revealed

Report written by: Dr. Owen Harper

Observed: Friday, around lunchtime

Specimens: Captain Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones

Report commences:

It's lunchtime and I'm hungry. We don't have any pizza or anything because yesterday the Teaboy decided he was sick of ordering fast food and made today, "bring your own lunch day". Bring your own lunch day, my arse. So, after a bit of complaining and then staring at my fridge for 20 minutes straight when I got home, I decided to bring in some baked potatoes. I like baked potatoes. So here I am, in the kitchen, waiting for my potatoes to finish warming up.

The Captain is in here too. He's making a grilled cheese sandwich and humming, which is annoying the heck out of me.

Dang it…Tosh just yelled at me to come quickly, and bring my first-aid kit. My potatoes will burn if I leave them now! I guess I'll have to get the Captain to watch them for me…He'd better not let them burn!

The crisis was nothing serious; the Teaboy had been helping Tosh chop some vegetables for her salad when his hand slipped and he accidentally cut his finger. I gave him a band-aid and told him he'd be fine, then rushed back to the kitchen to check on my potatoes.

I am going to KILL that man. The stupid Captain let my potatoes burn! I'm so pissed I can feel steam coming out of my ears. Time to teach the Captain a lesson: don't mess with me when it comes to potatoes.

Remember what I said before about the Teaboy being magical? Well, what happened just now is more proof of that. Somehow, he managed to convince me to not kill the Captain and then out of nowhere, he produced two still-hot baked potatoes.

Well, I got my potatoes in the end. And I learned a valuable lesson: NEVER TRUST THE CAPTAIN WITH BAKED POTATOES.

I was chatting with my best friend while we watched a Doctor Who episode and at one point, she said that she wouldn't trust Jack with anything. Instantly, my mind conjured up a scenario, and this was born from it. I hope it turned out well!

And now, O wise and gracious readers, I ask of you your opinion. Do you think I should write some Observations on Tosh and Gwen? Because so far, these Observations have mainly been about Owen, Ianto, and Jack, and I'm wondering if I should maybe include the rest of the team. Tell me what you think, and I'd welcome any ideas!

Please review!