Gabriella couldn't see; she couldn't hear; she couldn't feel. A black abyss encased her gently like water, blocking out all else. She didn't find the darkness scary though, there was no pain, no crippling hunger, she was not cold... there was nothing. Her father had told her once that death was like falling asleep. But she disagreed; when you were sleeping you dreamt, and when you weren't dreaming you weren't aware of anything. But Gabriella was completely aware. Though it did disturb her a little that she had no sense of her body. But then she reminded herself that bodies were merely articles of clothing. Her body was torn, broken, and unusable and so she had discarded it.
Gabriella was impatient for the bright light to come. It was supposed to be white. Seth had once told her nothing in this world was white and what was thought of as white was really mixed with other colors like gray or blue. She was eager to see what white really was. Just like the true blackness, which was unlike anything she had ever experienced on earth, had interested her moments ago. But now she was bored and wanted to see white.
So suddenly, that it felt like a shock of electricity coursing through her, something managed to penetrate the blackness. She felt an adult's soft, fragile hand give her's a gentle squeeze. In that small hand Gabriella could feel so much warmth, kindness, and love radiate from it. But it wasn't this touch that caused Gabriella to be shocked, it was the realization that this touch was well known to her. No matter how long ago it was since she last felt it she could never forget.
Mama, It's Mama, Gabriella thought as a burning joy spread through her allowing her to feel her body again. She grasped her mother's hand as hard as she could. Gabriella was determined not to lose her again. But the joy was striped away when her body's weight crushed her to the ground preventing her from moving, and when the blackness did not fade away but instead turned into a suffocating mass.
But then Gabriella heard her mother's voice, "That's right keep fighting. You are so strong. Please hold on."
I'm trying Mama, Gabriella thought. She wanted to call it out but she could not make her mouth work. She tried desperately to open her eyes, to lift her arm, but her body was to heavy.
The nothingness was trying to consume her again. She was losing awareness of her body. But Gabriella clung on to her mother's hand even when she couldn't feel anything else. I'll never let go, she silently vowed to her mother. I will find a way back to you.