Chapter Three: Awkard Conversations

Something ignites in my veins, and I pray it never fades...

I heard the bell above me ring out, which only made my stomach constrict into even tighter knots. My classmates jumped from their desks and rushed quickly out the door, heading towards the cafeteria for lunch. Well, all except for one of my classmates----Zuko, who was still positioned in his chair packing his supplies into his red Nike bookbag. I couldn't help but feel even worse watching him struggle to do a task that would have been failry easy and mediocre to a person who wasn't wounded. A person who wasn't shot by a bullet that was intended for someone else.

I have to admit, though, even though I know I have to say something to Zuko, I'm beyond nervous about the whole situation. No doubt, I know it will be awkard, since I hardly ever talked to him before. I'm not even completely sure what I'm going to say. Should I just say "thanks" and walk off, or would that seem rude?

Before I had a chance to contemplate exactly how to approach Zuko, the said person limped out the doorway with a grunt. I was leaning on the wall down the hallway, waiting for him to pass. He walked at an understandably slow pace, so it was awhile before he came anywhere near me. Just as I went to approach him, Zuko met me halfway, when I originally thought he'd just simply ignore past me.

Now here comes the hard part.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Even though I was quite sure I heard the words I thought being spoken. It took a moment to realize that the voice I was hearing wasn't mine, it was in fact Zuko's.

"Thanks," he grunted, a neutral expression on his pale, white face.

"Huh?" I spoke. Why is he thanking me? I didn't do anything to help him. I'm confused; I thought it was me who was supposed to be thanking him.

He discreetly rose his eyebrow as he said, "You....stopped my father from shooting me to death."

"No...I didn't...I mean, you still got shot," I said, catching the stare of his intense brown eyes, "I'm...I should be thanking you...you took a bullet for me."

He still had his eyebrow cocked, watching me talk. "I'm sorry about, um, your limp."

Gosh, why am I stuttering so much? I can't say one sentence without sounding like some blabbering idiot. I shouldn't be this nervous around him.

"Don't apologize. I knew what I was risking when I took the bullet," he spoke.

For some unexplainable reason, I felt my body shiver after his comment. Zuko said in a tone that suggested it meant more than what's originally intended. Our eyes were locked on one another's in that moment. I was staring up into electrifying golden-brown orbs; I held his gaze until the stare became to intense for me to bear. It almost scared me how my nerves churned by just looking at him.

"I realized...you still haven't thanked me yet," he remarked, with a sly smirk on his face. I laughed.

"Oh yeah, thank you so much, Zuko. Really," I said.

"Hey, you two! Lunch is that way; get out the hall," a teacher said to us, walking into the hallway and shooing us outside towards the cafeteria with his hand. He followed us like a stalker until we finally left the hall.

We walked to the doors of the cafeteria in an awkward silence.

"You know, just because I saved your life doesn't mean you have to hang out with me," Zuko said as we'd entered the cafeteria. He avoided looking at me when he spoke the statement.

"So you think I'm only talking to you because of what happened that night a couple weeks ago?" I asked him, plopping on a seat far away from any of the other students. Zuko, who never eats school lunch----like me----sat in the seat across from me.

"Yeah. Basically."

"Well, that's not it. I mean, I think I might've misjudged you----even before the time at the park. I've never really given you a fair chance, so...I guess I....wanna start over."

Zuko just stared at me in complete silence, making me feel like I'd said something really stupid. Him staring at me like that was a little intimidating----considering the fact that just talking to him made me feel nervous. He sighed, then redirected his stare to something in the distance. Again, we were surrounded by another silence. Zuko didn't really talk much; maybe it was because he always seemed anti-social and distant around people in general. I don't think I've ever really seen him speak to anyone, besides that gothic girl he used to date.

"Can I...ask you something?" I broke the tension.

He quirked his eyebrow----he seemed to do that alot----as a reply.

"What was it exactly that you and your father were arguing about?"

I instantly regretted asking that question as soon as it had left my mouth. Zuko's eyes flared, like there was a dancing little flame in each of his pupils; his jaw clenched; and his hands balled into tight fists on the table. I waited for a moment, but he hadn't answered my question, so I said lowly, "Never mind. Forget I even asked."

"No. I'll answer you," he started, shocking me and him both, "But I sware if you tell anyone, especially that damned counselor, I'm raising hell," ---he paused, looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching or eavesdropping before he continued--- "I was addicted to heroine after my mother died----my father was a dealer, so he supplied me with it. But I had to pay double the amount of his other customers---basically because he hates me, and blames me for my mother's death. When I quit, his profit went down----which meant he'd get shit from his boss. He'd take out his anger on me, forcing me to buy heroine from him again or I'd.....suffer the consequences. I got addicted again. About a year later, I quit once more, and he returned trying to force it on me. I thought if I'd tip the police about a shipment of drugs coming in one night, he wouldn't be able to get heroine to push on me. I was wrong----my father almost got shot by his boss because of the tip. I ran away; I didn't want to take the shit he'd give me for snitching. He found me walking from my uncle's tea shop that night a couple of weeks ago. Soon after, I guess, you came in."

I was kind of surprised he told me so much about his life. I mean, I never really perceived Zuko as the type of person who really wanted to talk about his past, let alone his family.

When I eavesdropped on him and his father that night, all I suspected was that they were talking about drugs, and that his father was a terrible person. Now I know there's way more going on than what I heard when I eavesdropped. I took a moment to let what he'd told me process in my head.

I couldn't think of any response I could give him after what was just said. How could anyone live through a crappy home life like that? It's just, terrible, that he had to unwillingly deal with this from his own father for such a long time.

"So you're just going to stare at me?" Zuko said.

"Oh. I--I'm sorry. I don't know what to say." I rambled off.

He sighed, staring at me. The intensity of his stare was so electrifying, I had to look away. It scared me to feel so attracted to him. "You're not going to run off?"

"Huh?"'

"I just told you I was addicted to heroine."

"Okay, so?" I answered, looking at him with a confused expression etched on my face.

Zuko gave me an unreadable look, like he was surprised at my answer. He sighed again, running his fingers through his ink-black hair. He looked straight down at the floor when he spoke again.

"I'm sorry, you know."

I almost fell out my chair. Though he said it lowly, Zuko apologized out loud, which is like, a once in a lifetime moment. He rarely thanks someone, let alone apologized. I'm not sure what he's apologizing for, yet.

"What for?"

"Tying you to a tree...that night at the park," he elaborated.

I automatically touched at my neck to feel for my mother's necklace. I clutched the jewel tight with my fingers, staring at the feet of people walking by as that night's memory floated around in my head once again. The memory was still fresh in my mind, as if the incident had only happened yesterday. "I want to know why you did it," I spoke, once the images of that night had returned to their place back in the far corners of my mind. I looked over at him, waiting for Zuko to answer.

He gripped his neck, "I had heroine floating in my veins-----me, Aki, and Kuzon were walking away from my father's drug spot, taking a short cut through the woods that led to the park. And we saw you sleeping, so we figured it'd be funny to see the expression on your face when you woke up...tied to a tree."

"Not that. I want to know why you took my necklace from me." I looked him dead in the eyes----that was the answer I was waiting for.

"It was fun taunting you," he answered.

I bit my lip----why does he keep doing this to me?

BRRRRIIIING!

The bell went, ending our lunch, when it felt like it's only been five minutes since lunch started. I glanced at my watch, which confirmed the bell's never-changing schedule. I grabbed my things from the table; everyone around me shuffling to get to their next class. I looked across the table----Zuko was already gone, the only body limping in the crowd.

*-ahh this chapter was a pain...okay, but anyways, you know i love you guys who review, right? Like i love these guys right here(Melizza-XoXo-, She-Poe, Dumbfounded, LotusFlower640, iamEmily, Multiple Obsessions, nephertiti, zuko-1-fan, AnnaAza, and Warrior NIna)and anyone new who just reading this, i'll love you too!! i forgot what i was going to say next...

the lyrics at the beginning are not mine, they're from Vanessa Carlton's "White Houses"

you guys know i don't own a:tla, cause ALOT of zutara-ness would've happened in "Crossroads of Destiny" and the series would've ended with major canon zutara-ness on Sozin's Comet!!! lol, okay, reviews please!!

and, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!! =)